


The Hunter

by Langus



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Edo Period, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-04-11 22:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 94,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4454291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Langus/pseuds/Langus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After her home is attacked by bandits and she is sold to a brothel in Kyoto's notoriously seedy Shimabara district, Rin gives up all hope. Then one night a mysterious young man arrives and offers to buy her freedom. Lured in by Kohaku's charming smile and carefree ways, Rin begins to lower her defenses. That is, until she discovers the true reason for their journey to Edo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Kyoto, 19th year of the Kan'ei Era (October, 1642)_

It was Saturday, the brothel's busiest night. Through the thin walls Rin could year Yuki's efforts to please her customer in the next room. Men came from all over Kyoto to enjoy her – wealthy men, powerful men; Yuki was one of the most popular whores in Shimabara. The Madam loved the notoriety of having Kyoto's preeminent talent in her place of business and so allowed her the freedom to choose her clients and charge any price she liked for her services. Two years in, and Yuki was halfway to buying her freedom.

In the early hours of daylight, while they lay stretched out on their futons awaiting sleep, the other girls would speak longingly of a future outside the brothel's walls. There were always tales exchanged of rich men who purchased whores to warm their beds when their cold wives wouldn't. It gave them hope, enough to get them through the next day, but that was all they were; fables invented by lonely girls facing a life-sentence of slavery. Rin couldn't imagine what sort of man would be foolish enough to buy a whore. In her eyes, the reality of their situation seemed as cold as it was clear. Freedom, love and good fortune were far and distant dreams for the girls of the Shimabara district.

A sharp rap at the door announced her next customer. Rin took a quick moment to make herself presentable and then got into position - knees bent beneath her, head bowed, hands positioned neatly before her on the floor. The door slid open and she studied what she could see of her customer's boots. They were dark, almost black, and made entirely of leather. They were also surprisingly clean.

"Good evening," she greeted in a sing-song voice, bowing deeper until her forehead touched the floor. "I am honoured to have you as my guest. Please, won't you have a seat?"

There was a gentle rustle of fabric and leather as he obliged and settled himself on the cushion provided.

"Would you care to try some of our sake? We have brought only the best for your tasting."

It was a lie, of course. The brothel offered only one type of sake to all its customers – whatever was cheapest on the day they went to market. Most customers were too drunk by the time they arrived to notice or care that they were being cheated out of their money. This one didn't smell of alcohol though and he certainly seemed to walk straight enough. She didn't relish the thought of him discovering the brothel's little ploy since she would be the one to feel the brunt of his ire.

With deft hands she poured a saucer of sake and offered it to him. He accepted it readily and she took the opportunity to size him up as he drank. This man was younger than most of her clients. His clothes were worn but not shabby, and fit well overtop his lean build. He may not have been rich, but he certainly wasn't poor. The tanned skin of his face and arms indicated that he spent a lot of time outdoors, but whether it was as a soldier or a farmer she couldn't be sure. Men often lied when they told her about their professions for fear of unsuspecting wives or neighbours discovering their night time indulgences.

She eyed the sinewy muscles of his arms and admired how they moved beneath his skin as he set down the empty saucer. The cup was soon refilled and he nodded his thanks. It was then that she noticed his hair, full and dark as ebony and pulled back off his face in the traditional style. He was not unhandsome. As clients went, she could and had done far worse.

"So, how does someone like you end up in a place like this?" he asked with a speculative look.

Given the number of customers she had on any given night, it still surprised her how many asked this question. They were all curious about where she came from, but none of them actually cared. Once they assuaged their curiosity she was still just a warm body to them. Sometimes she lied and invented an elaborate back story. The one time she told the truth the customer had looked thoroughly disturbed and left without paying.

Tired of answering the same pointless question, she decided to deflect it the way she'd heard the other girls do on occasion.

"We all have our stories," she purred, smiling coyly. "I'm more interested in hearing yours."

"Not much to tell," he sighed and stretched back onto his hands. He had a carefree way about him she found appealing. Perhaps it was only his youth that made him appear so at ease. She wondered what kind of lover he would be. Lazy? Frenetic? It was hard to tell.

"Say, what's your name?"

She responded with her working name, 'Sakura'. His eyes met hers. They were warm brown, almost the colour of the wooden floors beneath their feet.

"Sakura's a pretty name," he replied with a knowing smile. "I'm Kohaku."

She attempted once more to guide the conversation in a less intrusive direction, "What brings you to our fine establishment tonight, Kohaku? Do you have business in Kyoto?"

"I guess you could say I'm running a bit of an errand," he answered though neglected to offer any further details. 

His eyes drifted to the wall hangings and he took his time studying each of them while she poured more sake into his cup. There were eleven in total, one for each month she'd been in the brothel, all painted by her own hand. The hanging he was studying now was one of her earlier pieces, a sunset image of two larks taking flight. Compared to some of her later works it was embarrassingly juvenile, but it remained one of her favourites. Perhaps because she liked to imagine that one day she, too, would be free to escape off into the sunset.

"You painted these?" he asked, his brow lifted in surprise. She bowed her head demurely.

"They're good."

He was the first customer to ever notice her paintings, much less comment on them and that made her curious. 

"Do you paint?" she asked.

He laughed good-naturedly and shook his head, "Not at all. Where did you learn how to paint like this?"

"I taught myself," she answered, suddenly wary.

This wasn't the routine she was used to. Sometimes men made small talk to alleviate their guilt over how they were about to use her, but this man was different. He hadn't so much as glanced at the futon next to him or given more than a passing glance at her provocatively opened kimono. And the third saucer of sake she'd poured for him minutes earlier remained completely untouched. It was the first time in her life a man had ventured to have a civil conversation with her. Talking with him almost made her feel like her old self again. And despite knowing he was a customer, and that what he wanted of her was the same as any other, she found herself enjoying his company. This stranger seemed honest and good-hearted – two traits that were rare in her world.

Eventually he stood up and walked to her painting of the larks. He studied it in detail a moment, then turned to her with a hesitant smile, "Do you mind if I keep this one? I really rather like it."

"Take what you like. That's what you're here for, isn't it?" she replied, momentarily dropping her courteous facade. She hadn't intended to be quite so blunt, but if he was going to waste her time with flattery and idle chit chat he would only end up costing her money in the end. 

Kohaku's smile dropped away and he turned his back to take down the painting. She watched him roll it up and carefully tuck it into his jacket before he returned to sit in front of her. Leaning forward, he fixed her with a conspiratorial look and made a proposition she never could have anticipated. 

"What would you say to leaving this place with me?"

Stunned speechless, she could only blink at him.

"Well?" he pressed. "Will you come with me?"

"What about tonight?" she wondered with a glance at the door. "Won't you be wanting something in exchange for your money?"

His mouth lifted into a boyish grin, "I got a painting, didn't I?"

Kohaku took up the saucer of sake and drank it down straight while she struggled to keep the shock from registering on her features. When he was finished, he relaxed back onto his elbows with a sigh of ease. Her eyes darted to the futon and he lazily followed her gaze.

"If you're offering I won't refuse," he said, "but I'm just as happy relaxing before we head out. It'll be a bit of a long journey."

Rin stared at him in utter disbelief and sat back on her heels. He wasn't the first customer to offer her freedom. She'd been lured in before by false promises and left disappointed, but this time felt different. She considered the man named Kohaku carefully as he closed his eyes to rest. How much was her freedom worth to him? Surely more than a painting. Whatever his price, she reasoned, it was worth it. Anything was better than slowly wasting away inside this brothel.

Pouring out the last of the sake, she quickly tossed it down her throat and exhaled a nervous sigh.

_To freedom._

* * *

_Author's Note:_  This is my first take on a Kohaku/Rin as they seem to be a bit of a rare pairing in IY fics. 

A couple notes on the story - this will not be a canon fic. It's set in the Edo period and is more of an AU. Rin and Kohaku are also both older than they ever appeared in the manga – no child love stories here.

If you have any questions or comments, please leave a PM or review!

Until next time,

Langus


	2. Chapter 2

In the end, it was surprisingly easy to leave the brothel. Kohaku paid the Madam an obscenely over-inflated sum of what remained of her debts and they simply walked out the door. Some of the girls looked on with open jealousy, the rest capitalized on the influx of new customers. Everyone had their own way of dealing with the news. Rin chose to remain silent; too scared to speak a single word for fear that this dream would come crashing down around her.

Kohaku lead her through Kyoto's darkened streets, navigating the narrow alleys with ease. Every so often they'd pass by a market, brightly lit by lanterns and still bustling with late night revellers. With the wind blowing against her face and the smell of roasting fish in her nose, Rin experienced the first glimmer of hope she'd felt in nearly a year.

"You hungry? They probably didn't feed you much in that place," Kohaku inquired and surveyed her thin frame with a quick glance.

Her stomach growled in response and she nodded uncertainly, realizing in that moment that she was completely dependent upon him for food. She had no money of her own and nothing to sell apart from her body. Even the modest kimono she wore wouldn't fetch much of a price.

Kohaku guided her into the next market and stopped at one of the many stalls lining the street.

"See anything you like?" he asked, inspecting the menu.

The scent of roasting meat curled temptingly in her empty stomach as she eyed the offerings laid out before them on the grill. Kohaku was right – the Madam hadn't fed them much. "No one will pay to bed a fat whore," was one of her favourite threats.

Swallowing the sudden rush of saliva to her mouth, Rin pointed at a row of squid roasting on sticks.

"Squid, please."

Kohaku asked the man for two and handed her one. She greedily devoured it while he paid and then followed him down the street to the next stall. There, he purchased a handful of onigiri and handed her one. She hungrily dove in to that too, savouring the softness of the warm, fresh rice in her mouth. The rest of the food Kohaku tucked into his satchel for the journey ahead.

With her belly pleasantly full, Rin was better equipped to focus on her current situation. Though she was thankful for the food and the freedom, she couldn't help but wonder what someone like him wanted with her. As she walked behind him it was easy to observe the subtle looks and lingering glances other women cast his way. He obviously didn't require any help attracting their interest, so why did he need her?

However important, those questions paled in comparison to the bigger one looming at the forefront of her mind which was, where was he was taking her? He'd mentioned a long journey but had declined to name the destination. As they approached the bridge that would lead them out of the heart of the city, she found she could no longer keep quiet.

"Where are we going?" she asked boldly, slowing her gait.

Kohaku stretched his arms above his head and cast a glance back at her over his shoulder.

"To Edo."

"Edo?!" she cried out incredulous. "But that's…"

All hopes of returning to her village abruptly vanished. It would take nearly a month to reach Edo on foot, and it was about a hundred ri* in the wrong direction. She would never survive the journey back alone.

"I told you it would be a long trip," he winked, not the least bit bothered by her distress.

"And if I refuse to go?"

His feet drew to a halt and he turned to face her. The carefree smile slipped from his lips as he said, "Well, I hope it does not come to that. I would rather not use force."

Taking firm hold of her arm, he drew her close enough so that only she could hear his next words. "I am the one who paid your debts, Sakura. Until I choose to release you, you belong to me."

He waited for her nod of acceptance before loosening his hold on her arm. In that moment, the reality of her situation became strikingly clear. Her surroundings had changed, but her circumstances remained the same. She'd merely traded one slave master for another.

Tearing her arm from his grasp, she turned heel and ran. Honour dictated that she remain at his side until her debt was repaid, but what did she care for honour? Honour hadn't kept her village from being burned to the ground by bandits, or her from being sold to a brothel. She had no use for honour when it meant forever giving up the possibility of returning home.

Kohaku's shouts of protest followed, prompting her feet to move faster. Dodging around groups of drunks and market stragglers, she prayed for somewhere to escape him. If she could slip down an alley, or maybe hide beneath a stall she might yet find freedom.

Rin darted across one of the small bridges that ran over the river, her shoes clacking loudly against the weathered wood. It was then that she made the fatal mistake of casting a desperate glance over her shoulder. In the same moment that she turned her head, her body collided with a solid wall of muscled flesh. The wind was knocked straight out of her lungs and she staggered backward until her back connected with the bridge railing.

"Hey, I know you."

Rin looked up into the scarred face of a very drunk soldier. He caught her up by the arm and leered down at her.

"You and me had fun last time. Don't tell me you don't remember!" he slurred through a watery smile.

"Let go of me!" she screeched, attracting concerned glances from a few passersby.

Not one of them intervened to help though, and her next cries were silenced by the soldier's wet lips on hers. His tongue invaded her mouth with the taste of sake and fish. Furious, she bit down hard and he reeled back with a howl of rage.

"How dare you!" he roared and slapped her hard across the face. The blow left her head spinning and she would have fallen were it not for the iron grip he had on her arm.

"I'm taking you back where you belong," he threatened. "Perhaps the owners can be persuaded to let me teach you some manners."

Grabbing her up by the waist, he flung her over his broad shoulder and carried her down the street. She looked around frantically, desperate to find someone who would help her. Not one person had the courage to meet her eye. She'd nearly given up hope when Kohaku's confident voice rose above the din of the noisy street.

"I believe that's my woman you're stealing."

The soldier stopped and she could hear the laughter rumble through his chest. "Is that so? I would be glad to fight you for her boy, but believe me she is hardly worth the trouble."

"Just the same, kindly put her down. She is not yours to punish."

Rin lifted her head to see Kohaku standing a stone's throw away with his arms crossed and a smirk on his lips.

'I'm glad he finds this amusing,' she thought, finding herself torn between relief and disappointment.

The soldier's laughter faded into a dark chuckle. "Well, if you insist."

His words were her only warning before her body met the ground with enough force to knock the air out of her lungs a second time. She pulled in a ragged breath and coughed violently into the dirt. Even over her struggles, the telltale sound of a sword being drawn from its sheath reached her ears.

Rin lifted her head to find a circle of onlookers surrounding them and the soldier with his blade drawn. The polished metal gleamed in the lantern-light and he grinned down at Kohaku as though he were a petulant child in need of discipline. The man was at least twice Kohaku's size around and a full head taller. It was like watching a child fight a giant.

Kohaku considered the soldier in front of him, then confidently drew his short sword and took up a fighting stance. A bubble of fear rose into the back of her throat and she quickly swallowed it down. Why should she care that he was risking his life for her? He was doing what any man would do when defending his property. Still, the prospect of seeing his blood spilled for her sake did not sit well.

"Stupid, foolish man," she muttered under her breath.

"Just what do you plan to do with that?" the soldier jeered, laughing heartily at the size of Kohaku's sword.

The giant gave no warning before his first attack but his swing was slow and uncoordinated, his movements inhibited by his inebriated state. Kohaku dodged the blow and leaped onto his back. With a single stroke of his short sword, the soldier's neck was sliced open and his hot blood splashed onto the street. Kohaku dropped gracefully to the ground and the giant collapsed behind him.

The crowd that had moments ago been eager for a fight suddenly became silent, their faces awash with horror and awe. Rin glanced in astonishment between Kohaku and the body at his feet. She had barely seen him move and yet somehow he'd managed to dispatch a man of that size in one strike? She didn't have long to dwell on the deadly accuracy of his blade. He sheathed his sword then grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet.

"Quickly, before his friends arrive," he urged, dragging her towards the edge of the crowd. She was inclined to obey. It was rare that soldiers travelled alone and she didn't want to imagine what his comrades might do if they discovered their friend dead.

The crowd was reluctant to part for them, but several well placed blows of Kohaku's elbow did the trick and they eventually emerged on the other side. Holding her hand tight, Kohaku dashed towards the bridge pulling her behind him.

Despite her protests he led her out of the city, stopping only once they were surrounded by moonlit rice fields. Out of breath, he rested his back against a tree and grinned at her.

"Well, that was exciting!"

Too exhausted to reply, she could only nod and then promptly collapsed at his feet.

* A ri was a common measurement of distance during the Edo period in Japan. It is equal to about 4 kms or 2.5 miles. Along the Nakasendo Trail, the trip from Kyoto to Edo was 533 kms or 135 ri.


	3. Chapter 3

Rin awoke to the smell of smoke and the touch of warm sunshine on her face. She sat up and looked out at the vast rice fields before her. Not far off, a farmer was burning what remained of his harvested crop. The scent reminded her of home with an ache of longing so strong it left her grimacing.

"You okay?"

She turned to find Kohaku sitting next to her, his expression awash with concern.

"I'm fine," she answered briskly before quickly turning away.

"I don't think anyone followed us," he observed with a glance at the horizon line. "We should be able to take it easy from here."

Memories of the previous night came rushing back and with them a sinking feeling of disappointment settled in her stomach. Against that giant of a soldier Kohaku had proven himself to be a skilled fighter. It was apparent to her now just how difficult a task escaping him would be. Her next move couldn't be as reckless as what she'd done in Kyoto, but as for what, exactly, it would entail she couldn't even begin to guess. She would have to be careful and patient, the latter of which she had never been any good at. Frustrated by her predicament, she glared at the boy sitting next to her and found it difficult to muster even the smallest amount of gratitude for what he'd done.

Kohaku took a long look down the road they'd travelled the previous night and confirmed that it was empty. There was no sign of samurai looking to avenge their fallen comrade, or patrol officers hoping to make an arrest. They'd been lucky. He would have to be more cautious in the future. The Shogun didn't take kindly to the idea of commoners carrying weapons, much less brandishing them in a crowded market. He couldn't afford foolish mistakes when so much was riding on the success of his mission.

Remembering why he was there in the first place, Kohaku cast a quick glance at the girl. She looked better than before; her cheeks had gained some colour and her eyes were bright and sharp. A bit of sleep had done her some good. Eager to get their journey underway, he slowly got to his feet and offered her a hand up. She ignored it and took her time brushing the leaves and grass from her kimono. Not sure what he'd done to offend her, Kohaku scratched awkwardly at the back of his head.

"I thought we could be friends," he suggested. "It would make travelling together more enjoyable."

Acting as though he hadn't said a word, Sakura angled past him and started off down the road.

"Do you at least want some breakfast?" he called after her, retrieving a rice ball from his satchel. She glanced back at him and then longingly at the meagre meal. He enticed her with it until she relented and begrudgingly took it from his hands.

"You could at least say 'thank you'," he chided, only half serious.

She turned a fierce look on him, her eyes blazing. She was angry, that much was obvious, but he couldn't fathom why. Perhaps it was naïve, but thinly veiled hatred was not the reception he'd imagined receiving from her this morning. He could practically hear his sister Sango's voice in his ear, scolding him with her favourite line – "What trouble have you gotten yourself into now?" Perhaps a great deal more than he'd intended.

He quickened his pace to match hers. "I saved your life," he challenged, "that deserves some thanks, does it not?"

An impatient noise sounded in the back of her throat, "It is because you did not intervene when you should have that my life was ever in danger to begin with."

"Well, someone had to teach you some manners," he rebutted with a smile pulling at his lips. "Is it really so impossible for you to show the slightest bit of gratitude?"

She lifted her chin defiantly and quickened her pace. His brow rose in surprise and he laughed in spite of himself, "So I guess that means we can't be friends?"

He watched her storm off ahead and used the opportunity to admire the view. She was a rare creature, certainly not what one would call a typical beauty. When he'd first seen her in that place, it hadn't been her looks that had attracted him. It was something he'd seen in her eyes, a quiet intelligence that piqued his interest. How had a creature like her ended up in Shimabara? She was still so young, certainly of a marriageable age. What family would condemn their daughter to such a fate and so thoroughly destroy her chances at a happy future?

Kohaku was determined to discover the truth, but it would have to wait. At present, he didn't imagine she'd be open to telling him much of anything. Exhaling a soft sigh, he knit his hands together behind his neck and stared up at the clouds. The weather was perfect – not too hot, a clear blue sky above their heads and a light breeze to keep them cool. It was a good day for travelling – if only his companion were more agreeable.

Tilting his head, he gazed once more at the girl walking stiffly ahead of him and felt a smile pull at his lips.

"What trouble have I gotten myself into now?"

xXx

Mid-day had come and gone before she spoke to him again. They'd stopped for lunch beneath the shade of a large maple tree. He'd offered her what remained of their food and she'd eaten it in silence. His misguided belief that giving her his share of the food would coerce her into conversation left him hungry and disappointed. Conceding temporary defeat, he'd consoled himself with a much needed nap.

When he opened his eyes a short while later, he found her eyeing him speculatively. Something had changed while he'd slept, though he couldn't figure what it might be. Rather than thinly veiled hatred, there was curiosity in her gaze as she watched him get to his feet and slip his short sword into his belt.

"How did you get to be so good with that sword? Are you a samurai?"

His brow lifted in surprise and he laughed at the suggestion as his hand fell away from the hilt.

"How 'bout you tell me your real name first?"

Her lips pressed into a firm line and she abruptly looked away. It was becoming frustratingly apparent that she had no intention of telling him anything about herself. Wondering if perhaps divulging a bit about himself would be enough to gain her trust, Kohaku answered her.

"I'm not a samurai. Nothing could be further from the truth. My family and I are demon slayers. I have been training to kill demons since I was old enough to hold a weapon."

Rin's mouth dropped open in surprise. There were many answers she had expected, but demon slayer was not one of them. She considered Kohaku with fresh eyes, studying him carefully in the late afternoon sunlight.

He had the build of one who had spent his life training for battle – well developed shoulders from lifting swords high, strong forearms from wielding weapons for hours on end, thick calves and toned thighs to help him run and manoeuvre during battle. As ridiculous as it sounded, this man Kohaku could very well be a demon slayer. Before this day she hadn't known such a person existed, much less an entire family of them.

"Are there many others like you?" she wondered.

"My entire village is made up of demon slaying families. We are farmers as well, but most of our income comes from the villages who hire us to dispatch their demons."

"My family used to be farmers," she confessed as she looked out across the windswept fields of sun-ripened rice. His gaze lingered on her, probing and curious.

"What happened to them?"

Though a year had passed, her memory of that night remained fresh. There was little doubt she would ever forget it. How could she? Even now, her mind played tricks on her - making her think she could hear the panicked shouts of her neighbours and smell the acrid stench of smoke on the air. The events of that night had been her sole burden to carry for far too long.

"My village was attacked by bandits," she replied matter-of-factly.

"Is that how you ended up at the brothel?" he asked, his dark eyes troubled.

Anger darkened her features and she nodded. "Virgins are a rare and prized commodity at such places."

There was vitriol behind her words and Kohaku's expression melted into one of sympathy. He looked as though he were going to reach out and touch her, to offer some sort of comfort. She turned her body slightly, subtly, just far enough to be out of reach, and his hand dropped back to his side.

"I have a sister about your age. I can't imagine what I would do if such a thing were to happen to her," he confessed, shaking his head in disbelief. "I am sorry."

"Not sorry enough to free me," she wagered, fixing him with a sharp look. He flushed and glanced away. His silence was answer enough.

xXx

Dark came earlier than expected and Kohaku found a small cave where they could take shelter. Rin sat with her back at the wall, arms crossed against the cold, and watched him build a small fire. He hadn't tried to speak to her after their previous talk and she found she wasn't entirely surprised. When the truth was too much for her own heart to bear, she could hardly expect others to take on the burden.

Kohaku's silence had turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It gave her the precious time she needed to strategize and formulate an escape plan. The dense forest that surrounded the cave was her best chance, even with its hidden dangers and wild animals. Leaving was worth any risk if it meant she could finally begin the long journey home.

"You will be warmer by the fire," Kohaku urged from where he was crouched next to the flames. His sudden interruption jarred her from her thoughts and she looked up to find him chaffing his hands next to a small fire.

"I'm fine," she answered curtly, annoyed at having been interrupted.

He waited a while before trying again. In the meantime, the fledgling fire grew into a steady flame and she could feel its warmth licking faintly at her skin. Even so, she was reluctant to move closer. The further she stayed away, the easier it would be to make her escape later.

"Sakura, I can see you shivering from here. Lay next to the fire. You will be warm at least."

He gave her an encouraging smile which she returned with a cool look. His offer had become too tempting to ignore as easily as she had before. The air in the cave had chilled considerably with nightfall and a steady wave of shivers left her body trembling from head to toe.

"I promise to behave."

Kohaku held up his hands in a show of peace and she felt her resistance waver. It _would_ be warmer next to the fire and with a good night's rest she would be better prepared to make her escape the following night. Even so, she held strong to the stubborn determination that had kept her alive until this point and did not move from her spot near the entrance.

Giving up, Kohaku stretched out onto his back with his hands behind his head. He briefly closed his eyes, which gave her hope that perhaps escape might be possible after all. However, they soon snapped open again and he spent a good while staring thoughtfully at the cave's dank ceiling. After a while, he sighed aloud and turned onto his side to look at her.

"I am truly sorry about what happened to you," he spoke softly in the dim glow of the firelight. "If it were in my power to free you, I would."

"It is," she replied.

He frowned and moodily turned onto his back. Eventually his eyes closed and his chest began to rise and fall in the predictable rhythm of sleep. Rin bided her time, waiting for the right moment to make her move, but it wasn't easy. By the time the moon was high in the sky, the cold had set in to her very bones. Shivers racked her body so badly that she could hear her teeth chattering inside of her skull.

When she couldn't take it any longer, she silently removed her shoes and got to her feet. Careful not to stir any rocks at her feet, she tip-toed to the entrance of the cave and took her first glance at what freedom held for her.

The forest was dark and impenetrable, unwelcoming in just about every way. In the distance a wolf howled and goosebumps shuddered across her flesh anew. With her heart skittering inside her chest, she hazarded one last glance over her shoulder to ensure Kohaku was still asleep. Her heart sank when she saw him casually resting on his side adding another log to the fire.

"Going somewhere?" he quipped.

"If you must know, I was going to relieve myself," she retorted sharply, hoping her indignation would be enough to throw off his suspicions.

"Without your shoes?" he asked, casting a curious glance at her abandoned footwear.

"I felt it would have been impolite to wake you," she lied unconvincingly.

"How about you lay down next to the fire and I pretend this was a dream?" Though his tone was light, there was no mistaking the command underlying his words. He wasn't giving her a choice, a fact he made apparent by laying a hand overtop the sheath of his sword.

Rin cast one last, long look at the freedom just beyond her reach and reluctantly returned to the fire. Its soothing warmth helped to quell her bitterness somewhat, but every time she looked across the flames at the face of her captor she felt it bubble up anew.

Angry and heartbroken, she turned her back on him and curled up inside her kimono. While the fire slowly warmed her back, she plotted all the many ways she might kill the arrogant bastard in his sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The scent of dirt was strong. She breathed it in, slowly stretching her body as her mind tried to recall where she was. At the sharp caw of a raven her eyes shot open and she sat up, suddenly vividly aware of the cave around her. She'd been dreaming of the brothel and the night she'd met Kohaku. Her mind lingered on the question of where she would be had she turned down his offer. Certainly no better off than now.

A quick glance around revealed she was alone and the fire behind her cold. Wherever Kohaku was, he had been gone for some time. Feeling slightly miffed that he showed so little concern over her ability to escape, she got to her feet and boldly made her way to the cave's entrance. Beyond their meager shelter was the inviting view of the open forest, where dappled sunlight filtered through the treetops.

 _Freedom_ , she thought. Before her was exactly what she imagined it would look like. On those long nights she'd spent trapped inside the brothel, this was what she had imagined escaping into – an endless forest that would lead her straight back home.

Wasting no time, Rin slipped on her shoes and departed the cave. If she were fast enough, quiet enough, perhaps she could find her way back to the road long before Kohaku realized she was missing. The thought made her heart skip in anticipation.

"Going somewhere?"

The sudden interruption of Kohaku's voice from behind her froze her feet in place. She turned, slowly, and felt the makings of a deep frown press between her brows.

"I brought you some breakfast," he offered, holding up two fish.

She stared hard at the twin glistening bodies and then at him. The urge to run was nearly overwhelming, she'd come so close after all, but the sight of those fish had her mouth watering and her stomach protested starvation with an audible growl. If she ran now, she wouldn't get far.

Sighing in defeat, Rin reluctantly followed Kohaku into the cave. While he preoccupied himself with reviving the previous night's fire, she moodily sat across from him and cursed her stomach for its impertinence.

"I wondered how long it would take before you tried to leave," Kohaku said, not unkindly. "Was starting to wonder if maybe you had changed your mind about me." He sat back on his heels and gave her a curious look.

She lifted a contentious brow and he shrugged nonchalantly.

The next few moments passed in near-silence, the grating of Kohaku's knife against stone as he gutted and de-scaled their breakfast the only sound.

"Are you not angry then?" she dared to ask in time. 

It was Kohaku's turn to lift a brow. A white smile broke through his tanned skin and he shook his head.

"I'm impressed by your will. It's stronger than I thought."

"So then you know I will try to leave again?"

"Of course!" he said with a short laugh. "I imagine I would do the same in your position. Though if you could refrain from killing me in my sleep I would appreciate it."

"You mock me," she concluded with a sour look.

His features sobered and he took his time turning the fish over the fire.

"I am not mocking you, Sakura, but considering how brazenly you tried to escape perhaps it is you who are mocking me?"

Rin bit her lip and stared hard at the dirt floor. She didn't like being made to see his side of things. It frustrated her beyond all rational levels of reason.

Kohaku handed her one of the fish and she took it from him with a muttered "Thank you". While she ate he set about smothering the fire and cleaning up their campsite. No more words were exchanged, but the tension had lifted. Their progress wasn't much, but perhaps they had come to some sort of understanding after all.

xXx

The day was hot and dry. The unrelenting sun beat down on the earth, leaving them both red-faced and covered with a thin sheen of sweat. Rin wiped at a stray bead of sweat that had escaped down her neck and uttered a quiet sigh.

For hours they had been the only travellers on this particular stretch of road. They hadn't seen so much as a deer or stray cat to greet them. It made for a boring journey, but it was a small blessing. The roads leading to Edo were notoriously filled with bandits and other dangers. The fact that they hadn't met any meant that they were incredibly lucky. Still, with each day of travel her chances of returning home unscathed reduced significantly. She couldn't afford to let opportunities continue to pass her by. Whatever the cost, however it must be accomplished, she would escape tonight.

"Those paintings of yours at the brothel were really something."

Kohaku's compliment cut into her thoughts so unexpectedly that she started and turned to face him.

"I wish I could make something beautiful like that," he confessed with a sheepish grin, "but I have no talents beyond fighting."

His hand drifted to rest atop the hilt of his sword and he shook his head as if dismissing the thought.

"Fighting is a far more useful talent than painting," she observed a bit cynically.

If she had known how to fight instead of paint, perhaps her family might still be alive. She could have stood alongside her brothers, weapon in hand, and defended their village instead of hiding uselessly inside her house like a scared child. She would never forget the helplessness she had felt that night. It remained her one, constant source of regret.

"I could teach you," Kohaku offered, drawing to a halt next to her.

He withdrew the knife from his belt and held it out to her. She accepted it warily and tested the weight in her hand. It was heavier than it appeared, and the wooden handle had been worn smooth from years of use. The feel of it was both foreign and exhilarating. She turned it over and clumsily fingered the blade.

"Be careful, it's sharp."

Kohaku's warning came seconds too late and she stared down with dismay at the small cut on the tip of her finger. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. She looked sceptical as he stood in front of her and drew his short sword from its sheath.

"First thing," he said, "is to make your body ready. Like this." As she watched, he shifted his limbs into a fighting stance.

When she had difficulty mimicking his posture, he stepped in to assist. The warmth of his hands penetrated her kimono when he turned her into position. He turned her carefully and then lingered, long enough that she shot him an uncertain glance. He smiled a bit sheepishly and stepped back, giving them both some space.

"Okay, now hold the knife in front of you with both hands-like this..." he instructed, showing her.

She frowned down at her grip on the knife's handle, compared it to his, and then shifted her fingers until they were in the proper position. He moved closer to inspect and she held her breath in anticipation. His head nodded slowly, appraising her hold on the knife.

Kohaku muttered a soft "Good", then, meeting her eyes, smiled and repeated it with more force - "Very good!"

She flushed at his ready approval and stole a curious glance at him from beneath her lashes. Though she would never admit it aloud, she liked the way his mouth curved upwards at the corners. It made it look as though he were always suppressing a smile caused by some hidden joke. There was a youthful energy in his eyes that she found captivating as well. Had their circumstances been different, she might have been fond of him.

"Now, because you're small you should attack the middle and the legs," Kohaku continued, gesturing to the target areas on his body.

Rin pointed the tip of her knife in the direction of the more sensitive parts of his male anatomy and lifted a brow. "What about there? Would it make a good target as well?"

Kohaku glanced down and nervously cleared his throat. "Y-yes…it would. But for now, let's focus on the belly. When you attack, move the knife like this," he said, showing her a few horizontal and diagonal slashes.

"What about like this?" she wondered, stabbing at the air with the knife.

He shook his head and lowered her blade with his hand. "Stabbing takes a lot more strength and the chance that you will injure yourself is greater. Besides, you have to be close to your enemy to stab them which leaves you open to attack. It should only ever be used as a last resort."

Rin considered his words carefully and stepped in closer. She hadn't thought he was all that much taller than her, but now that he was standing at his full height she realized her head barely reached his chin.

"About this close?" she asked, pressing the tip of the knife against his side.

She glanced up in time to see his smile falter and the humour fade from his eyes. "Yes, about that close."

A furtive smile flirted with her lips and she pressed a little harder, feeling the resistance of his skin against the blade.

"If you wish to kill me, a sharp upward thrust from there should do the trick," he said evenly.

His words caught her by surprise, but then a voice inside of her whispered, 'One thrust and you could have your freedom.' Her palms gripped the sweat-slickened handle tighter and she actually considered it. The promise of freedom was an enticing lure.

The knife pressed harder into his flesh and she heard his soft intake of breath as she drew first blood. The sight of a single, fat drop rolling down the side of the blade made her hesitate. Was she capable of murder?

Her eyes lifted warily to meet his and in that moment she realized that she would never be able do it. Her initial impression of him at the brothel had changed little in the days since; he had a good heart and a kind nature. If she killed him now, she would be no better than the bandits that had ravaged her village. Though her hand trembled with the effort it took to not finish what she'd started, it ventured no further. She simply could not kill him.

As she held his gaze the tension slowly eased out of Kohaku's shoulders and his hand eventually covered hers. She relinquished the blade without protest and backed away.

"You trust too easily," she scolded, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "You're lucky I decided not to kill you."

Kohaku glanced up at her from where he'd been sheathing his sword. "I think you forget that I kill for a living," he said evenly, holding her gaze. "Do not mistake trust for the confidence that comes with knowing I can defeat any opponent before they get close enough to do any real harm."

Her eyes widened in comprehension. She had no doubt that he spoke the truth. She'd seen for herself just how quickly his feet moved and how ruthless his blade could be. One moment he'd been facing an armed soldier twice his size in Kyoto, and in the next the man was dead at his feet with his neck torn open.

A shiver shuddered across her skin at the memory of how the giant's blood had soaked the street. It left her wondering why he'd let her go so far. She'd seen how he could react when someone challenged him, but today he'd allowed her to press a knife into his side without a single word of protest. Had he been testing her somehow? To what end?

She studied him curiously and slowly unfolded her arms, no longer sure what to make of him.

"Time to go," he urged, flashing a smile.

He started off down the road, turning back only to remind her that they had a long way to go before nightfall if they wanted to stay at an inn. Compared to the cold, damp cave floor they'd spent the previous night on, a soft futon with warm bedding and a hot meal sounded like heaven. It was incentive enough to spur her feet forward despite bone-numbing exhaustion, and she quickly fell in step behind him.

* * *

 _Author's Note:_ I hope you have been enjoying the read so far. This is one of my favourite chapters to-date, so I'm thrilled to finally have the chance to share it. 


	5. Chapter 5

Nightfall was nearly upon them as they made their way down the town's main road. Rin gazed at the shops and homes, izakayas and noodle stands that occupied both sides of the road, and then looked to the dense bamboo forest beyond. If she could somehow slip away unnoticed and take shelter in its maze of crooked paths and fallen bamboo it might just be enough to secure her freedom.

By sheer force of will she avoided glancing at the forest while Kohaku procured a room for them at one of the town's inns. Freedom was too close at hand to so recklessly give herself away. All she need do was bide her time and wait for a single moment of distraction on his part. With that and a bit of luck and she would finally have what she most desired – a chance to return home.

The gods were kind enough to provide her with a bit of both shortly after dinner. Kohaku had taken her to one of the larger izakayas in the hopes of winning some money for the rest of their journey. She was dubious at first, but after seeing how easily he won his first few matches she was reluctantly impressed. He hadn't been exaggerating when he told her he'd been training with weapons since he was a boy. The ease with which he threw his knife at the target made it look as natural as breathing.

She watched carefully, noting how after each win he used the spoils to buy his opponent a consolation bottle of sake. And he never challenged the same man twice. The boy was smarter than he looked. With his easy humour and carefree attitude, he kept the atmosphere light and playful and within an hour he was the most popular man in the establishment.

She played her part, of course – smiling, clapping politely at his wins, and making sure his saucer was never dry of sake. When the time was right, she picked up an empty bottle from the table and manoeuvred her way through the crowd to the bar.

"Another?" the owner asked with a greedy glint in his eye.

She nodded and felt a smile pull at her lips. "The most expensive bottle you have."

Hoping to slip out unnoticed, she headed for the door but the owner called after her, "You'll not stay and watch your man win?"

Careful to check her expression, Rin turned to him with a smile and lightly fanned her face, "I only need a bit of air. I am certain his luck will hold until I return."

The innkeeper waved her off with a good natured shake of his head and she slipped quietly out the door.

The first breath of freedom was pure elation. She had dreamt of this moment for so many months that the immensity of it left her knees weak and her hands trembling inside her sleeves. With tears glistening in her eyes, she hurried away from the izakaya in the direction of the inn. Once it was in sight, she cast a single surreptitious glance over her shoulder to ensure she hadn't been followed and then abruptly turned off the main road into an alley.

The narrow lane carved a careful path between the wooden houses and eventually opened up into a small laneway on the other side. Beyond that was the forest, and the only thing standing between her and it was a single row of houses and a group of men. They looked up the moment she stepped into view and the communal leer that crossed their faces told her more than she needed it to about their intentions.

"Looks like tonight's my lucky night after all," said the leader as he stepped forward.

He was young, though not as young as Kohaku, and had broad shoulders. His face was rough, tanned dark by the sun and marred with scars that could have been from farming or something far less innocuous. Judging by the looks of the men lingering behind him, they weren't the sort who were used to making an honest living.

 _Bandits,_  her inner voice of fear whispered loudly enough that it couldn't be ignored. Her heart hammered inside her chest as the leader moved closer, wearing a smile that cut his face from ear to ear.

"I recognize you from the izakaya. You're here with that boy."

"You are mistaken," she managed, straightening her spine even as she took an uncertain step backward.

"I  _never_  forget a pretty face," he corrected her, reaching out to caress the red silk trim of her kimono.

Her eyes widened in shock and then fear - he knew what she was! She could see it in his eyes, in the way they panned down her body and lingered on her kimono. Its red silk trim was the calling card of her brothel, a way to differentiate their whores from the rest in Shimabara. Each brothel had their own and this far from Kyoto she hadn't thought anyone would know... Her stomach churned as a cool drop of sweat slid down the back of her neck. Obviously, she'd been wrong.

As she turned to run the bandit's hand snaked out and grabbed her by the wrist. She tugged hard to jerk her arm free, but he only tightened his hold on her.

"Let me go," she demanded, boldly meeting his gaze.

"Stay a while. Your man will come looking for you eventually, and when he does we'll be ready with a bargain – your life for our money."

"He will never come," she determined.

"In that case, I'll still have my consolation prize," he sneered, pulling her against his chest. His hand caressed the side of her face and she turned away to hide the glimmer of fear in her eyes.

It was then that she noticed the knife at his side. Without stopping to think, she snatched it out of his belt and slashed it across his chest the way Kohaku had shown her. The bandit's reaction was immediate – a howl of outrage and the sudden release of her wrist.

Grinning with elation, Rin pulled up her kimono and darted back down the alley. Her sandals clacked noisily against the stones, echoing between the houses on either side. She reassured herself that there would be other opportunities to escape. For now, she needed to concentrate on making it back before Kohaku discovered she was missing. The last thing she needed was for him to be even more doggedly aware of her every move than he already was.

The main road suddenly came into view and she quickened her pace. Her pre-emptive sigh of relief was abruptly cut short by a sudden sharp pain slicing into her thigh. She cried out and stumbled hard into the ground, mere paces from the street. Looking back, she saw a small knife sticking out of the back of her leg and the bandit advancing on her wearing a satisfied smirk.

"Your man isn't the only one with a talent for throwing knives," he boasted. His shirt was bloodied, but she could see now that the wound across his chest was little more than a scratch. She cursed under her breath, frustrated with her inability to protect herself when it mattered most.

When the bandit reached for her, she instinctively shied away. He grabbed hold of the knife handle and jerked the blade out of her leg. The sight of blood rapidly blooming across her kimono left her head spinning and her call for help was choked off by a wave of fear.

"Take her."

She could barely make out the bandit's command over the loud buzzing in her ears. He stalked away and two blurry figures descended on her with arms outstretched. Her mouth opened to scream and then there was only darkness.

xXx

"That's ten in a row!" A dour-faced villager crossed his arms in front of his chest and scowled down at Kohaku. "No man is that lucky."

"Care to test that theory?" Kohaku offered, unfazed by the man's accusatory tone.

One of the other men laughed and captured his friend in a headlock. "What luck? Yuta's got none, and if he gives all his money to you his wife will chop his balls off and feed them to him for dinner."

A chorus of laughter filled the air and Yuta pushed his friend's arm away, looking rather red in the face. Kohaku stifled a laugh and took a well-timed sip of sake to hide his smile.

"Say, Yuta, what's it like being married to a dragon lady? You still a man under all those clothes?" another chimed in.

A fresh round of laughter erupted from the crowd and Yuta glared daggers at Kohaku as though it were entirely his fault. Fed up with being the subject of mockery, Yuta pushed his way through the crowd of jeering faces to the door. With his departure the mood lightened considerably.

"Don't worry about him," his friend said, landing a good-natured pat on Kohaku's back, "He's just bitter because his wife's a terror."

Kohaku waved off the explanation with a good-natured laugh and leaned back against the wall. He could remember a time when his village had been the same as this place – alive, full of energy and promise. Things were different now. Two bad harvests had stripped his town of laughter and made faces age decades from worry in a matter of months.

When that same look of hopelessness had found its way into his sister Sango's eyes he'd known it was time. This mission was their only chance, his village's last hope of seeing it through another winter. The night air was already chilled by autumn winds and the first snows would soon be upon them. He couldn't afford to waste time. The sooner he arrived in Edo with the girl, the better.

Setting aside - for the moment - what that meant, he let his gaze wander around the bar in search of her. Come to think of it, it had been some time since he could last remember seeing her face amongst the crowd. Slowly getting to his feet, he tucked his winnings into his jacket next to her painting and manoeuvred his way to the bar.

It was a slow process getting there as he was dogged by numerous well wishers and others who threatened re-matches once they were less drunk. He entertained them while keeping a watchful eye on the door. Where was she? Was it possible she'd slipped out without his noticing?

He caught the bartender's attention and threw down more than enough money to cover his tab. The man took the coins and noticed him make a final sweep of the faces in the crowd.

"Looking for your girl?" he asked with a raised brow and a knowing look. Kohaku nodded and he tilted his head towards the door.

"She left about an hour ago. Said she needed some air. Sometimes the noise in here gets to be too much for them," he explained with a reassuring smile.

Kohaku thanked him with a generous tip and headed out the door. The street beyond was deserted and the night air sent a chill shivering across his skin. Had she gone back to the inn?

A sense of unease settled in the pit of his stomach as he walked the short distance to the  _hatago_. How could he have been foolish enough to let her out of his sight? He tried to reassure himself that he was being paranoid and she was simply asleep, but his feet quickened nonetheless.

With the owner of the inn nowhere in sight, he took the stairs two at a time to their room. Holding his breath, he slid open the door only to find the inside dark and empty. Sakura hadn't returned and a quick search of their bags revealed that she hadn't taken any food or money with her. She couldn't have been reckless enough to run off without provisions. Or could she? Desperation made people do ridiculous, foolish things.

If she had managed to slip away, he was duty-bound to find her. Even with his winnings tonight, he didn't have nearly enough to purchase another girl. The amount he'd brought with him was the accumulated savings of his entire village. She was their one and only chance – he had no option but to find her, no matter the cost.

Taking a moment to stow away his winnings, Kohaku checked the weapons in his belt and headed out the door. For her sake, he hoped she hadn't tried to run. He couldn't blame her if she had, but given the circumstances he didn't have the freedom to be sympathetic to her situation. Come morning, whether she liked it or not, she would be back under his guard and on a much shorter leash.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * A hatago is a type of roadside inn that was popular with travellers and samurai during the Edo period. At this type of inn, patrons were served meals during their stay (kind of like a modern bed & breakfast).


	6. Chapter 6

Rin regained consciousness to the discovery that she was tied to a rather sizeable bamboo tree. There was no way to tell how far the bandits had travelled, or even how long she'd been unconscious. She could see the ones who had taken her a short distance away, huddled around a small fire. They were talking and laughing, not the least bit concerned about being discovered.

Annoyed to find herself at the mercy of bandits once again, she attempted to wriggle loose from her bindings. A sudden searing pain shot down her leg reminding her that she'd been stabbed not that long ago. Frustrated, she turned all of her attention to freeing her hands. It was no easy task. They had used twine to bind her and someone had had the ingenious idea to wet the rope beforehand, making the knots almost impossible to pry loose.

She was still struggling when the leader got up from the fire and made his way towards her. He carried something in his hand, but it wasn't until he neared that she could see it was a ladle of water.

"Thirsty?" he asked, crouching down in front of her.

She stubbornly turned her head away, but when he pressed the ladle to her lips she took several greedy swallows.

"I am surprised your man has not come for you. If I had a prize like you, I would never let her out of my sight."

He caught her up by the chin and studied her in the dim light. She could see the lust glimmering in his eyes and knew what he wanted. She offered him a cold glare in return, letting him know that she didn't plan to give in without putting up a fight.

His fingers tightened around her jaw and a cruel smirk lifted one corner of his mouth. He looked very much like he wanted to kiss her, but a shout from one of the others around the fire distracted him. He called back over his shoulder to a chorus of chuckles and then, looking mildly disappointed, he released her and got to his feet.

"Sleep well, pet. I won't be long," he promised darkly.

Rin narrowed her eyes at his retreating form and followed it all the way back to the campfire. Once he was out of earshot, she re-doubled her efforts with the rope. She had no intention of sticking around to be anyone's  _pet_.

By the time an hour had passed, her fingernails were bloody and her wrists raw. For all her struggles she hadn't loosened a single knot. In an effort to quell the bubble of panic that was slowly building inside of her, she bowed her head and contemplated what her next move should be.

They would have to untie her at some point. Perhaps she could find some way to cause a distraction and make a run for it? Glancing down at her injured leg she frowned and noted that it would have to be a very big distraction.

For a brief moment she found her thoughts wandering to Kohaku. Had he noticed she was missing? Or was he too busy gambling to care? The bandits seemed to think he would come after her, but she knew better. After all, he could find another whore to keep him company on his journey to Edo easily enough, perhaps even one that would cause him less trouble.

Still, a part of her reluctantly hoped he would come for her. Despite his arrogance and the asinine assumption that she belonged to him, he hadn't treated her poorly. He'd protected her, humoured her and treated her like a lady instead of a whore. If she had to pick between Kohaku and the alternative, she knew without a doubt what her choice would be. Him she could survive, but this…

A sudden, sharp crack of branches underfoot made the breath still in her lungs. She glanced warily at the fire and counted the heads she could see. Some of the men had gone to sleep while a few others stayed awake talking. Was one of them missing?

The footsteps came to an abrupt halt behind her and just as quickly a hand clamped hard over her mouth, stifling her cry.

"Sakura, it's me," a man's voice hissed in her ear.

Her eyes widened in shock and recognition. Was it possible? She turned her head and caught a glimpse of Kohaku's profile illuminated in the dim light cast off by the fire. His expression was grim, but she saw no trace of anger in his eyes.

"Stay quiet," he ordered. "I'm going to cut you free."

When she nodded in understanding, he released her mouth and cut her hands and feet free of the twine.

"How did you find me?" she whispered, hazarding a cautious glance at the bandits.

"Worry about that later. Come on," he ordered, tugging her to her feet.

"Wait! My leg…!" She gasped as a sharp jolt of pain tore across the back of her thigh. Kohaku quickly set her down again and pulled up her bloodied kimono to expose the wound. Her sudden movement had re-opened it and blood was seeping down her leg.

She held her breath at the gentle, probing touch of his hands and studied his features in the dim firelight. Perhaps it was something in the determined set of his jaw or the unwavering focus of his eyes, but she thought he looked older and a bit more mature than he had before.

"It's not too deep," he reassured her.

Kohaku quietly tore a strip of cloth from the hem of his shirt and wrapped it around her leg in a make-shift bandage.

"Do you think you can walk?" he asked, offering his hand.

She allowed him to help her to her feet and tried to walk on her own but promptly stumbled into him. Ignoring her objections, he picked her up into his arms and made off in the direction he'd come.

Even while carrying her, he moved with ease through the darkened forest, stepping over fallen trees and ducking under low hanging branches without a single misstep. For fear of being detected, she didn't dare speak until the village came into view. Only then did she voice the question that had been plaguing her thoughts the entire journey back.

"Why did you come for me?"

"I don't look kindly on people taking what is mine," he answered matter-of-factly.

"I see," she whispered, turning away to disguise her look of disappointment.

For a moment there she'd thought perhaps… She shook her head, realizing what a ridiculous notion it was. Here he was, clear as day, confirming exactly what she'd known all along.

"I don't see why you bothered," she snapped, suddenly annoyed. "You could have found another whore to keep you company easily enough."

"Well, if you so prefer their company to mine, perhaps I should take you back?" he retorted dryly.

By now they had reached the main road of the town and his feet suddenly drew to a halt. When he turned back towards the forest her eyes widened in fear and he chuckled at her expense. Though he had every right to be angry with her, an amused smile lurked at the corners of his mouth.

"How do I know you are not like them?" she challenged, thinking of the ones who had taken her.

"You don't," he replied, continuing down the road to the inn, "but I would like to think that my actions count for something."

His actions did count for something, but so too did his words. What did it matter that he had risked his life for her a second time, or that her relief at seeing him tonight had nearly brought her to tears? What did any of that matter when she was merely a possession in his eyes, something to be bought and sold as he saw fit. There was no escaping that vile truth, no matter how kind his eyes or how warm his smile.

Their room at the inn was cold and dark, but the owner had been kind enough to lay out their futons for the night. Rin considered them while Kohaku lit a small fire inside the heater to warm the room. When he was finished, he followed her gaze to where the futons sat side-by-side and quickly stepped forward to adjust them.

Surprising even herself, she reached out her hand to stop him.

"Leave them," she instructed softly before shuffling forward and collapsing atop the futon closest to the heater. He didn't object and waited until she'd settled in before taking his place beside her.

Despite the heater's warmth and the heavy blanket wrapped around her, she couldn't seem to stop shivering. Kohaku's arm settled heavily around her waist and her body tensed instantly. It went even more rigid once he pulled her flush against him. She laid there unmoving, hardly breathing, waiting expectantly for his next move - but it never came. The warmth of his body heat bled through her clothes, calming the worst of the tremors. It was only then that she realized the lingering shaking of her shoulders had another source entirely.

A silent tear slipped down the side of her nose and disappeared against the pillow, only to be soon followed by another. Tonight she'd re-lived the nightmare that had plagued her dreams for nearly a year. She'd promised herself that she would never allow it to happen again, but it had and she'd been just as powerless to stop it. If Kohaku hadn't come for her when he did…

His arm suddenly tightened around her and she could feel the warmth of his breath against the back of her neck.

"Did they hurt you?" he asked softly, brushing his fingers across the red, angry skin of her naked wrist.

Words failed her, but she managed to shake her head "No." They hadn't been given the chance, thanks to him. From behind her she thought she heard Kohaku breathe a sigh of relief, but then it could have just been her imagination.


	7. Chapter 7

"Would you like some more?"

Rin held out her hand expectantly and Kohaku gave her his bowl. Normally he jabbered on like a monkey during meals, talking at her despite her sullen looks and stubborn refusals to be enticed into conversation. Today was different. He sat there quietly, looking humourless and reserved. It never occurred to her that she would miss the carefree side of him that annoyed her to no end until it was gone. The troubling thing was she did miss it. She missed him.

Watching Kohaku out of the corner of her eye, she spooned a second helping of rice into his bowl and then offered it to him with a hesitant smile.

"What do you have planned for today?" she asked, hoping to break his silence.

He took his time answering and made her wait until he'd swallowed two more bites and drank down his tea.

"I will buy some supplies for the journey ahead," he said as she refilled his cup from the steaming pot at her side.

She waited for him to elaborate, but he continued eating instead. The silence became prolonged and when he ignored the next couple of questions she thought up she felt defeat set in. It was clear he had no interest in speaking with her today or maybe not ever again. Did he know that she'd tried to escape? She couldn't be certain, but if he did know it was clear he was angry about it. Or maybe he was annoyed with himself for letting the bandits gain the upper hand? Either way, it didn't seem likely that she would glean any answers from him today.

Frustrated, Rin exhaled a heavy sigh and sat back on her heels. The movement was thoughtlessly quick and she regretted it instantly. A sharp pain seared the back of her thigh and she felt the wet trickle of fresh blood against her skin. Sucking in a pained gasp, she winced and slowly straightened her leg.

"Are you alright?" Kohaku stopped eating, his attention now firmly fixed on her.

She shook her head and lied despite her grimace, "I'm fine, really."

"You are not fine," he corrected her. Setting his bowl down, he moved to her side and gingerly lifted her kimono up over her thigh. Her leg was still wrapped in the remnants of his shirt and he took his time carefully untying the make-shift bandage. Leaning in close, he inspected her wound with a serious look. She kept her own countenance guarded despite the nervous racing of her heart.

"How did you find me in the forest?" she ventured, hoping that a distraction would keep her from feeling light-headed at the sight of the blood oozing down her leg.

She had spent much of the day trying to work out how he'd managed to track her down in the dark. If she could learn even a little about his methods, she'd be in a far better position the next time she tried to escape. And she would try again – she had to. To give up now would mean forever abandoning her hopes of returning home. That hope was the only thing that had kept her alive during those nightmarish months in the brothel. Even now, visions of someday seeing her mountain village again were what kept her tired feet moving forward day after day. She refused to give that up without a fight.

Kohaku shrugged his shoulders lightly, "I followed the blood trail I found in the alley to the edge of the woods and tracked the group from there."

"You make it sound as though you sniffed me out like a dog."

He lifted his gaze to hers and a faint smile flirted with his lips. "That's not far from the truth. In my village every child learns how to track so we can hunt demons. On a good day, I can track almost anything that runs on the ground. The bandits that took you were sloppy. They left broken branches all over the place."

Rin sat in awe of his abilities. While she was thankful that he was skilled enough to have found her, it was clear to her now that any future escape attempts would require careful planning and strategy. She couldn't afford another failure. If he caught her the next time, there was no telling what he might do.

"It doesn't appear to be infected," Kohaku reassured her. "I'll change the bandage and then perhaps in a day it will be healed enough for you to walk."

"Do they teach all the children in your village to be healers too?" she wondered a bit cynically as he rummaged through his satchel for fresh bandages.

"No," he chuckled softly, " _That_  I learned on my own. I was a bit clumsy growing up and training with weapons led to a lot of injuries."

Her mouth lifted into a reluctant smile and she watched as he re-dressed her wound. His touch was gentle and confident and his hands never once strayed from their duties. Once he'd tied the final knot on the bandage in place, he pulled her kimono back down to cover her leg and offered her an encouraging smile.

"Don't worry. It will heal," he promised and then stood to wash the blood from his hands.

With the loss of his touch her heart rate steadily returned to normal. She couldn't understand why her body reacted to him the way that it did. It was the same as the day he'd taught her how to fight with his knife. A mere touch was enough to make her heart race and her words fail. At first she'd simply put it off as fear, but now she wasn't so sure. Did she fear this boy who'd rescued her life three times over, or was it something else entirely?

Kohaku returned to his seat across from her and she gave him an uncertain look. He took a long sip of his tea and then purposefully set the cup down atop the tray.

"The bandits that took you," he began cautiously, "did they say why?"

Her fingers absently skimmed the red silk trim of her kimono as she remembered the leader's words to her the night before. He'd known exactly what she was and where she'd come from. It wasn't the only reason they'd taken her, of course, but ever since she'd been worried about how many others might recognize the brothel's red-trimmed kimono and try to take advantage. Her lips pressed into a thin line and she dropped her hands into her lap.

"Only that you had taken their money," she answered, hoping that a half-truth would convince him.

His eyes lingered on her longer than she would have liked and she busied herself with returning their dishes to their trays. When she reached for his rice bowl he stopped her with a hand around her wrist.

"I'm sorry for that," he said seriously, as his thumb drifted across the red welts that marked her pale skin. "I let my guard down and you were hurt. I won't let it happen again."

She gaped at him, momentarily at a loss for words. He released his hold on her wrist with an apologetic look and headed for the door. She called out to him, surprised at the sound of her own voice. It sounded thin and tight, like the cry of a frightened kitten. Kohaku looked back expectantly, and she felt her cheeks burn.

There were a lot of things she wanted to say to him, starting with "thank you". Not just for tending to her leg and coming for her the night before, but for caring enough to be worried about her at all. It had been so long since anyone had thought twice about her well being or whether she lived or died.

She struggled to find the right words, but in the end all that emerged was a simple, heartfelt "Thank you." Kohaku's brows lifted faintly in surprise and a smile briefly touched his lips.

"You're welcome," he replied, and then he was gone.

xXx

Kohaku did not return until late in the night and then departed early the next morning. Rin awoke to find his futon stored away, breakfast waiting, and an indigo-dyed yukata and obi folded neatly next her bed. She eyed them as she ate her breakfast, reaching out every so often just to be certain they were real. They were simple and a bit rough to the touch, but well made and more importantly commonplace.

Her hands shook with excitement as she pulled off her blood-stained kimono and donned her new robes. His gift was a small gesture, but she doubted he would ever truly know just how much it meant to her. She would no longer have to walk around wearing a daily reminder of her life at the brothel and the shame it'd brought. With this robe Kohaku had given her a small but significant piece of freedom.

Eager to thank him and to test out her leg, she returned to the izakaya where he'd taken her the first night and found him inside playing cards.

"A bottle of sake for his table," she instructed the bartender with a nod in Kohaku's direction.

"Your man is a master card player. He loses from time to time, but only so the others continue playing," the bartender observed with a keen eye. Kohaku won his next hand amid a litany of groans from his table mates and Rin reluctantly added "shrewd card player" to his growing list of attributes.

Kohaku had all the workings that would make him a desirable match for any woman. He was intelligent and resourceful and skilled with his weapons. He had youth and good looks on his side too. The more she learned about him, the more she was left wondering what he wanted with someone like her. She'd been over it in her head a dozen times and had yet to find a single logical answer. She was left to conclude that either he was insane or his intentions were far less honourable than they seemed.

The latter troubled her because her instincts told her he was good and that she could trust him, but what did she know about him really? He was a demon slayer from a village of demon slayers. He had a sister. He was dangerous when provoked and…that was all. The sudden awareness that she knew very little about the man who slept next to her each night left her feeling more than a little unsettled.

"Your man must be saving up for something special," the bartender prodded with a wink.

Distracted, she smiled briefly and took the bottle of warm sake he set atop the bar. Thankful to escape his probing comments, she headed to Kohaku's table. He glanced up at she approached and greeted her with a warm smile.

"Sakura! What brings you here?"

"I wondered if you might be thirsty," she replied, holding out the sake. She could feel the eyes of every other man at the table on her as she poured a serving into a saucer for him.

"Wish my wife would serve me while I was playing cards," one of them grumbled enviably as Kohaku drank. "Instead she sends me to bed without supper for spending all our money."

The group laughed heartily and Rin noticed that Kohaku didn't correct him. Instead he set down his saucer and glanced up at her, momentarily ignoring the others.

"The colour suits you," he said, with a meaningful look at her yukata. "Do you like it?"

"Yes," she replied and her cheeks flushed at the unwavering attention of the others at the table. "Thank you."

He looked pleased and gestured to the empty seat next to him. "Will you stay? I could use your good luck."

She shook her head and set the bottle of sake on the table. "I'm feeling tired. I think I might go back to the inn."

A fleeting flash of concern drifted across his features but quickly vanished when she offered him a reassuring smile. She hadn't been lying. Walking around had tired her out and her leg had begun to throb. Besides, she could do with a bit of quiet time to gather her thoughts before he returned to the inn. She made her way slowly to the door, but was soon stopped by a rough voice calling out to her.

"You'll regret that when he comes home in a couple of hours, drunk and looking to plough a field."

Rin started at the comment and turned to find an old woman hunched over at the table next to her. She had grey hair at her temples and a long-stemmed pipe clutched tightly between her pursed lips. Her small dark eyes looked Rin up and down and then she motioned to the seat across from her with a decisive flick of her bony wrist. Rin reluctantly obliged and sat down.

"Your man, he's good," she observed, thoughtfully nodding her head. "I've been watching him. Got lucky with that one, did you?"

Rin opened her mouth to explain but the woman cut her off with a wave of her hand. "Nevermind, doesn't matter. I'm just a bitter old crone that wishes she'd married a better man, one who isn't a drunk, good for nothing loser."

She chuckled throatily and pulled at her pipe. Fragrant blue smoke wreathed about her head, framing her face with the scent of mountain tobacco.

"We are not married," Rin protested meekly. "We are travelling companions."

The woman barked out a laugh and looked her up and down as though she wasn't entirely sure whether to believe her.

"Well, won't be long now," she said with a serious look. "No man puts away money like that unless he's saving for a bride."

Rin followed the old woman's gaze back to Kohaku's table and turned over the thought in her mind. It sounded ridiculous. Certainly there were plenty of women in his village of a marriageable age, women from good families who were untainted. She dismissed the idea of marriage from her mind with a shake of her head.

"Here," the old woman said, suddenly taking her hand. Before Rin could object, she'd pushed a small pouch into her palm and closed her fingers overtop.

"When he returns to the inn brew him a tea with this," she whispered wearing a conspiratorial smile. "He'll be asleep in no time and you'll be able to get a good night's rest. Looks like you could use it, too."

Rin wasn't sure what to make of the thinly veiled insult, but thanked the woman nonetheless. She stared down at the pouch in her hand and felt her first real twinge of guilt. With Kohaku drugged it would be hours before he would wake, giving her plenty of time to get far away. The trouble was she was no longer sure she could do it. After all that he'd done for her, would that be any way to repay him?

Perplexed by the decision before her, Rin got to her feet and offered her table partner a modest bow. "I'm very sorry, but I should go. It was a pleasure meeting you-" She stalled, realizing that she had absolutely no idea what the woman's name was.

Taking pity on her, her new friend aimed a toothless grin up at her. "Miho. You can call me Miho."

"Well, thank you, Miho, for everything. I hope to see you again."

"Take care of yourself, girl," she answered with a heavy cough and then waved her off with a gap-toothed smile.


	8. Chapter 8

It was with mixed feelings of relief and regret that Rin left the village with Kohaku the next day. The source of both was the man walking next to her, regaling her with stories of his childhood misadventures. She hadn't brewed up Miho's drug-laced tea, but she could feel it in the lining of her obi sitting there as a constant reassurance and source of guilt. In the days that had followed her attempted escape she'd begun to see a new side of Kohaku, or rather, she had allowed herself to accept what had been there all along.

He was kind to her and funny when he wanted to be. His whit made her crack a smile every once in a while, and from time to time she was able to forget who he was and why she was with him. Yet once they left the village her old questions returned with a vengeance and the reality of their circumstances became impossible to ignore. She belonged to him. Not by choice but by bond and now she must follow him to Edo and whatever he had in store for her there. In all their conversations not once had he mentioned what he planned to do with her once they arrived, which led her to suspect that whatever it was it wouldn't be to her liking.

Kohaku stretched his arms high over his head and cast a subtle glance at the girl walking next to him. She been withdrawn and distant since they'd left the village. There was sadness in her eyes when they met his and he struggled to understand its source. Had something more sinister happened to her at the hands of the bandits than what she'd told him? The thought had him reaching for the handle of his sword out of frustration. He had yet to forgive himself for that bout of carelessness. All that had happened to her at their hands was entirely his fault. Being in that village, surrounded by the warmth and good cheer of his new companions, had made him complacent. He'd let down his guard for a moment and she'd been hurt. He was loathed to imagine how much worse it could have been had he not found her in time.

Yet, even while content to blame himself there was one truth he could not deny – she had tried to run away. He hadn't yet told her that he knew about her escape attempt and debated whether he should. Perhaps it had been a single, foolish misadventure. Perhaps her silence now was an indication of her guilt. Or perhaps it meant that she had every intention of trying her luck again when the next opportunity presented itself. Either way, he would have to make it known what the consequences would be if she tried to leave again.

He didn't enjoy reminding her of what she'd once been or the precariousness of her position. In truth, he rather enjoyed the illusion that they were simple travelling companions, headed to Edo and enjoying each others' company along the way. But the expression in her eyes when they met his served as a sobering reminder that in her estimation he was little better than the bandits that had taken her from her home. And how different was he really? His intentions were noble, but he found it hard to believe she would see them that way. Once she learned the truth, whatever tentative friendship they had formed would be over.

There had been many moments since they'd begun their journey when he'd considered abandoning it completely. More than once, he'd contemplated leaving her in a village and disappearing in the dead of night to give her the opportunity to find her way home. But her abduction had made it clear just how naïve he'd been to entertain such notions. These roads were treacherous, even for a seasoned fighter like himself. If anything were to happen to her…

He sighed and rubbed a tired hand through his hair. When he'd first departed on this journey, he'd never imagined that he would develop feelings for her. He wasn't even sure how to define them. He wanted to protect her, to watch her paint, to be the only one who could make her smile. He wanted their journey to go on forever, without ever reaching its destination. It was a cruel joke of fate that the first time he felt more than a passing interest in any woman it would be for one he could never have.

Whatever his feelings for her, they didn't change what he must do. She was the last hope for his village and he her deliverer. Pride and honour dictated that he must fulfill his mission, and he would, he only wished it didn't come with quite so high a price.

"May we stop?"

Kohaku started at the unexpected interruption and turned to find her watching him with a guarded look.

"My leg…," she explained, gesturing to her injured limb, "It's tired. And we've reached Touji-ba."

The area was one of Japan's better-known hot spring regions. It was famous for its many natural springs and baths, which claimed to cure any number of ailments. Was it possible they'd reached it so soon? He glanced around the empty path bordered by trees and gave her a questioning look.

She sighed impatiently and folded her arms into her sleeves. "There was a sign a ways back. Or were you too lost in your daydream to notice?"

Feeling his face momentarily flush with embarrassment, he coughed and put up a token resistance.

"If you rest for too long, we'll end up sleeping in another cave."

"I won't be long," she protested, frowning at him.

"I suppose a short stay can't hurt. A soak in the hot spring will do your leg some good."

Rin turned down the first marked path they reached and followed it to a kidney shaped natural spring, backed on one side by a large boulder. A thin layer of steam curled over the pool's lightly scented waters and Rin quickly divested herself of her clothes. After hanging them over a nearby tree branch, she gingerly tested the pool's temperature with her foot and then slipped into the water.

The hot spring was deeper than it looked and almost covered her shoulders once she sat down atop the smooth rocks. Exhaling a soft sigh, she closed her eyes and tried to relax. A raven cawed in the distance, sounding alone and mournful. Opening one eye, she glanced up at the man watching her and frowned.

"It is rude to stare," she scolded, closing her eye again.

"I am only admiring the view," he protested with a boyish grin.

Rin heard the creak and groan of his leather boots and armour as they were pried off and dropped to the ground. This time, both eyes snapped open.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

He shrugged and stepped out of his pants before tossing them over a tree branch.

"I thought I might join you. I could probably use a bath too. The way you avoid me sometimes, I must smell pretty bad."

"Well  _that_  is certainly true," she retorted, attempting to look affronted while simultaneously averting her eyes.

It was the first time she had seen him naked, and even she had to admit the view was not unpleasant. His muscles were well defined beneath his tanned skin and she discretely let her eyes roam to more sensual places. It was obvious he was aroused, but to her surprise he made no move to reach for her once he slipped into the hot water. Instead he exhaled loudly, closed his eyes, and rested his head back against the rocks.

They sat in silence a long while, her watching him, him feigning sleep, before he lifted his head and gave her a long look.

"I have been thinking about the bandit attack," he began slowly.

She swallowed and averted her gaze. In the days since the abduction she had debated the wisdom of telling him the truth about that night. Each time she'd managed to convince herself not to for one reason or another. However, the way he was looking at her now suggested he knew more than he was letting on.

"What were you doing so far from the main road?"

Pulling in a deep breath, she let it out slowly and kept her eyes on the water. If he already knew the truth, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of hearing it from her lips.

"I may be young, but I am not a fool, Sakura."

"I know that," she snapped, feeling a fresh tremor of guilt run through her. Drawing her knees into her chest she rested her chin atop them.

"Promise you won't try to leave again."

"I will never promise that," she insisted, her expression hardening.

"Sakura…"

"You're ruining my bath."

He sighed in defeat, then closed his eyes and went quiet. She regarded him in silence, watching the faint rise and fall of his naked chest as he breathed.

Feeling emboldened, she asked a burning question of her own: "Why are we going to Edo?"

He opened his eyes slowly and seemed to deflate before her. He looked at her as though he had been expecting her to ask that very question for some while. For numerous reasons she had avoided it, the main one being that deep down she didn't want to know.

A part of her wanted to believe the lie that they were nothing more than travelling companions. Another part of her, the shrewder half, realized that his answer would change everything. She watched as he shifted uncomfortably under her gaze and knew at once that her fears were about to be confirmed.

"You will be given to the daimyo in Edo as his  _oiran_. You are a gift."

Her mouth momentarily hung open in disbelief. She had assumed from the very beginning that Kohaku had bought her for himself. Never once had it occurred to her that he had rescued her from one slave master only to deliver her to another. Fresh anger rose up inside her chest and she clenched her trembling fists at her sides.

"Why?" she demanded, giving him a fierce look. He withered under her glare and had the grace to look ashamed.

"My village has suffered two poor harvests and a harsh winter. We will not survive another year without the favour of the feudal lord."

Too angry to speak, she abruptly got out of the pool. Miho's voice, promising that "No man saves like that unless it is for a bride," came back to taunt her. She'd been such a naive little fool.

Snatching her yukata off the tree, she punched her arms through the sleeves and wrapped it tightly around her body. Kohaku was offering explanations and justifications for what he'd done, but they went unanswered. What did she care of the hardships in his village when she didn't even have one of her own anymore? At least his people had their freedom, which was far more than she had at the moment. Once again she was to become someone else's property – to be bartered and sold like a bolt of fabric or a common cow.

Kohaku stood up out of the water, forcing her to look away. Feeling her face burning with anger and embarrassment, she retrieved her obi from the tree branch and hastily tied it around her waist while he clothed himself. At the moment, she couldn't bear the sight of him. Remembering his words was enough to make her blood boil.

"Sakura, I have no choice," he pleaded not unkindly.

"If you expect sympathy, look elsewhere," she said bitterly, keeping her back to him.

Staring down at the freshly knotted obi bow between her hands, she considered it a moment and then let them fall away. Until now the bow had been at her back to disguise the fact that she had once been a whore, but she saw no reason to continue the façade. It was all anyone saw when they looked at her – the soldier in Kyoto, the thugs from the last town, and Kohaku, too. What was the use in pretending anymore?

Chin held high, she walked stiffly to where Kohaku stood waiting for her. His gaze lingered on her obi and his frown deepened a fraction before he stepped out of her way. She brushed past him and navigated the narrow trail back to the main road with him following close behind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *touji-ba (therapeutic hot springs that were a popular tourist destination during the Edo Period)
> 
> * oiran (high-class prostitutes that became popular during the Edo Period. In addition to sexual prowess, oiran were trained in the traditional Japanese arts and highly educated. An oiran was not simply a pretty face – they were expected to be witty, intelligent and eloquent entertainers.)


	9. Chapter 9

It was in the early hours of pre-dawn when Rin made her escape.

Neither of them had spoken since the onsen and she preferred it that way. It had given her plenty of time to consider her options. Though a faint glimmer of guilt cropped up every now and then, her anger was stronger and her conscience eventually settled on escape. She'd been able to think of little else since.

Kohaku had found a sizeable cave for them to sleep in and once darkness fell she had gone to bed as normal. Feigning sleep, she waited until he began to snore and then bided her time. After he had been snoring for hours, she tip-toed silently from the cave and then broke into a dead run.

She didn't take any notice of the direction in which she travelled and had little care to. All that mattered was how much distance she could put between herself and Kohaku before he awakened. If she wasn't far enough by the time he awoke, he would catch up with her and who knew what he would do to her then? He wasn't of a cruel nature, but any man could become a harsh master if pushed far enough.

Dawn was just beginning to lighten the eastern sky when she approached the grey banks of a river. Her feet came to a stop at its rocky shore and she watched her heavy breaths puff up white in the brisk morning air. The water looked frigid and uninviting, but if she was to have any hope of escape she'd have to traverse it for at least a short while to hide her trail.

A twig snapped and her head turned sharply in the direction of the sound. Wrapping her arms around herself to ward off a chill, she looked at the forest, still robed in dark, and felt the first trickle of fear snake down her spine. Her entire body was alive, her every nerve ending ablaze. If Kohaku had found her already, was there any point in running?

Another twig snapped, this one closer than before. A soft growl broke the stillness of the morning air and the breath caught in her throat. Terrified to move, she watched the wolves emerge one by one from the forest around her. She counted six in total, all steadily closing in on the place where she stood. Her eyes fixed on their yellow teeth, bared at her in warning, and she swallowed hard. There hadn't been enough time to grab a weapon. An oversight she was sincerely regretting now.

Seeking to remedy that, she held the lead wolf's gaze and slowly bent to grope for something on the ground that she could use. A sizeable rock fit neatly into her hand and she yanked it up from the earth. It wouldn't do much, but perhaps it would buy her enough time to escape down the river. She ignored the small voice inside her head that asked, "Yes, but where will you escape to?"

As the wolves surrounded her, she looked frantically from one pair of gleaming yellow eyes to the next. The wolf to her left shook its head impatiently and snarled before leaping at her. Shielding herself beneath her arms, she screamed and waited for the slash and tear of its claws against her skin.

Instead, a sharp yelp filled the air and she looked down to find the wolf dead at her feet. The others had turned their gazes into the trees and she followed suit, gasping at what she saw there. A man too beautiful to be human stood not twenty paces away. Her eyes travelled over him memorizing every detail, from the richness of the silk on his back to the strong line of his jaw. His sharp golden eyes met hers and her heart skittered inside her chest.

The wolves snarled at the intruder but he didn't look the least bit concerned by their numbers. A second wolf was foolish enough to run at him and it too was cut down. She hadn't seen the man move, but just like its brother the wolf now lay in pieces on the forest floor.

Suddenly a loud roar erupted from the forest to her right. The wolves growled and she gasped at the sight of Kohaku charging towards them through the trees with his sword drawn. They took after him immediately, meeting him halfway in a flurry of brown fur, teeth and claws. He managed to skewer two before abandoning his sword and using his knife to attack the pack's leader. The wolf dodged his blade and latched on to his arm with its powerful jaws. The beast snarled and a jerk of its head left Kohaku howling in pain. He fell to the forest floor with the wolf on top of him, both fighting for their lives.

Momentarily forgetting the stranger who had saved her life, Rin glanced at the rock gripped tightly in her hand as though seeing it for the first time. Without thinking, she brought it down hard against the back of the wolf's head. The beast yelped and released Kohaku's arm, but she wasn't satisfied to leave it at that. She hit it again and again, until its body lay still on the forest floor.

With its comrades dead, the last wolf retreated into the trees. The stranger was gone too, having disappeared so suddenly Rin wondered if he'd been there at all. Kohaku groaned and staggered to his feet. He wobbled unsteadily and she arrived in time to catch him before he collapsed.

"Thanks," he muttered, blinking his eyes wide to see straight.

Unable to tear her eyes away from the mangled mass of blood and skin that was his arm, Rin frantically tore a strip from the hem of her under robes and wrapped it tightly around his injured arm. She coaxed him up with an arm around his waist and led him back in the direction they had come.

The trip back to the cave was agonizingly slow and dogged by Kohaku's injury. Each pained gasp that left his lips twisted another knot of guilt in her gut. This was her fault. A part of her protested that no one had made him come after her, but she knew differently. If he hadn't arrived when he did she would be dead, and for that she owed him at least this much.

By the time they arrived back at the cave, the previous night's fire had crumbled into a pile of ash and faintly glowing embers. Relieved to finally be able to rest, Kohaku slid clumsily to the ground and closed his eyes against the pain.

Rin knelt at his side and inspected the wound. She didn't know much about medicine, but it looked serious. Her brother had once been attacked by a wild boar. It had only been a glancing blow, but the wound did not look so different from Kohaku's.

"Where is the water?" she demanded.

Kohaku nodded wearily at the container on his hip and she took it from him. Next, she hurriedly tore more strips from her under robes and soaked them in what was left of the water. She used these to gently wash out the wound as best she could before wrapping it up tight with fresh bandages from his bag. It was a poor job, but with any luck it would suffice until they found a village with a healer.

"Do you think you can walk?" she asked, helping him to his feet. He stumbled and looked at her unsteadily before nodding.

"Good. We need to get to a village. There should be one close by."

He visibly paled at the thought of more travel but nodded in agreement and shuffled out of the cave with her help.

Apart from a few jarring missteps that left him sucking air through his teeth, Kohaku didn't complain about his injury. He hadn't said a single word of censure about her escape attempt either, though given the state of his arm she was certain he had more pressing matters on his mind.

The village turned out to be a great deal further than expected. Either that or they were moving far slower than she had anticipated. Nightfall was already upon them when they stumbled down the main road of a small village tucked away into the mountainside.

"Help! Someone, please!"

Rin called out to the homes with lanterns lighting their doorways. A few curious faces peeked out from behind slatted windows and studied them with wary eyes.

"Please! Is there a medicine woman or a healer? He needs help!"

A frail old woman stepped out of an inconspicuous hut and shuffled down the road towards them.

"I am the healer here," she announced, straightening to her full height. "What has happened?"

"We were attacked by wolves. Please, help him!"

Kohaku moaned pitifully next to her. She couldn't be certain how much of it was for the sake of impressing upon the woman's sympathy and how much was genuine. In either case, he didn't look well. If it were possible, his face was even paler than before and a thin sheen of sweat had broken out across his skin.

After a quick inspection of Kohaku's arm, the woman gestured towards her home and Rin helped him there. Inside, the hut was warm and filled with the scent of dried herbs and stew.

"Lay him there, next to the fire," the old woman instructed, nodding at the futon that was already laid out. Rin did as she was told and helped Kohaku to the floor. He breathed through clenched teeth as the movement jarred his swollen arm. She frowned at him in sympathy and glanced helplessly at the old woman who was casting a disapproving eye at her obi. Realizing how they must look to her – a whore and a rogue, alone in the dark on a remote stretch of road – she got to her feet and glanced uncertainly at the door.

"I should go" she said quickly. The old woman dismissed her suggestion with a wave of her hand.

"Nay, sit there by his head and comfort him. Treating his wound will be painful and he will benefit from a soft voice and gentle touch."

"Sakura, please. Stay."

At Kohaku's plea, she resigned herself and knelt by his head, gently lifting it onto her lap. She could feel his body trembling under her hands and frowned. How had he possibly made it this far? He opened his eyes to look at her and attempted a smile.

"Thanks for staying. I know you could have left me there."

At a loss for words, she offered him a small, tight smile and watched the healer methodically lay out an array of fresh bandages, herbs, salves, and a bowl of hot water. The old woman removed the makeshift bandage that had been tied around his arm and Kohaku sucked in a sharp gasp. Desperate for some way to distract him, she tried to lure him into conversation.

"Tell me about your family," she began haltingly. "You said you have a sister?"

Kohaku grimaced and nodded. "Just one. Her name's Sango. She's a bit older by a couple of years."

His body tensed suddenly as the old woman settled a scalding hot bandage against his wound to clean it out. Rin gently stroked his face, urging him to relax.

"Who's the better demon slayer?" she asked, hoping to draw his attention away from the wound.

He managed a half smile and the healer lifted a curious brow.

"Sango's the best demon slayer in our village," he confessed, "and she's downright frightening in battle. I would not want her as my enemy, that's for sure."

"You sound very proud of her," Rin observed, keeping a careful eye on the old woman's ministrations. She was packing the wound with various herbs and frustratingly Rin realized that she could not name a single one.

"Sango must be a very strong woman," she said, returning her attention to Kohaku.

His face had gone ghostly white and he managed a slight nod. She looked with sympathy at his features pinched in pain, and tried to remember how he had appeared when they first met – youthful, carefree and happy. Her face had once been like his. She wondered if it could ever be so again.

The healer informed her she would need to sew the wound closed and Rin grimly nodded her head in understanding.

"Almost done," she promised, wiping a trickle of sweat from Kohaku's brow.

He clenched his jaw shut tight against a scream and his body arched slightly off the floor as the pain of the old woman's first stitch lift and bent him. Holding his arm in place, the woman made quick work of her mending job, but each pull of her needle through his wounded flesh was pure agony.

Kohaku's heart raced beneath her hand and Rin sought some way to comfort him. She couldn't stomach watching him suffer. Stroking his cheek she encouraged him to open his eyes and look up at her.

"S-Sakura, t-thanks for s-staying," he managed from behind clenched teeth.

She shook her head and tenderly stroked his face. "Call me Rin."

His eyes widened in acknowledgment and he attempted a smile. "So this's all it t-took for you to t-tell me your name?"

"Foolish man," she chided with no vehemence behind her words.

As the healer tied her last stitch in place, unconsciousness mercifully claimed him and he drifted off with his head laid trustingly in her lap.


	10. Chapter 10

Three days came and went before Kohaku opened his eyes with no trace of fever in them. Rin breathed a quiet sigh of relief and set down the cloth she'd been using to wipe the sweat from his brow. His gaze darted about the room, taking in the thatched roof and the barren walls before eventually coming to rest on her.

"Where are we?" he asked weakly.

"In a small village not far from where we were attacked," she answered, careful to keep her voice calm. She couldn't let on how worried she'd been, how close he'd come to...

"The healer treated the wound on your arm and the villagers allowed us to stay in this empty hut until you recovered."

Kohaku lifted his head to study the dilapidated single-room abode. Though it wasn't large, it was dry and warm and theirs for the time being. The generosity of the villagers had been far greater than he ever could have expected. The small movement of lifting his head left him feeling drained and dizzy and he wearily set it back down. It was only then that he realized it'd probably been some days since he'd last enjoyed a meal.

"Say, is there anything to eat? I'm famished."

Luckily, food was one thing they had plenty of. The villagers had been dropping off daily parcels of pickled vegetables and cooked rice for the morning meal. Once she'd helped him to sit upright, Rin handed him a bowl of rice overlaid with the vegetables and some grilled fish. He dove into it, hardly stopping to chew before swallowing it into his stomach.

"Slow down! Your body can't handle you eating that fast. Not yet anyway."

Heeding her words of caution, Kohaku took his time chewing his next few bites.

"How long have we been here?"

"Nearly a week. You were delirious for most of it."

"You stayed…?"

He sounded just as mystified by her decision not to run as she was. Rin reached down to retrieve his empty bowl and to hid her face from his probing gaze. In the long hours he'd spent racked by fever she'd considered leaving more than once. With that much of a head start, he probably never would have found her. Once she even got as far as the door before a pained moan brought her rushing back to his side.

Never in her life had she worried about another person more and it was during those long days and sleepless nights that she made an alarming discovery. Her actions went beyond simply repaying a debt. She was caring for him because she  _cared_  for him.

"I'm sorry, Rin," Kohaku said, sounding genuinely abashed, "I didn't mean to cause you so much trouble."

She turned at the sound of her name on his lips.

"So you remember," she breathed, quietly setting their bowls aside. He'd been half conscious when she'd told him. She was almost certain he'd forgotten.

Kohaku nodded, "I couldn't possibly forget."

Not sure what to make of his words, she tucked them into the back of her mind to mull over later. Was it possible he felt something for her too? She wondered this as he smiled up at her and then quickly turned away.

No, it was foolish to hope to find something that wasn't there. Besides, he'd already told her what fate awaited her at the end of their journey and the childish affections of a simple girl would not change that.

With his body still weak from fighting the fever, it didn't take long for Kohaku to return his head to the futon on the floor. She waited until he'd drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep and then crept silently out the door.

xXx

Rin moved quickly down the road that led out of the village. Her mission was simple – retrieve Kohaku's weapons. She hadn't thought to bring them after the attack, but with Kohaku's recovery well underway they would soon resume travelling and being armed was a necessity.

The forest wasn't as far as she remembered it being, though picking her way through the trees and brush was no easy task. She eventually made it to the riverbank where she'd nearly met her end and looked upon the corpses of the wolves. Seeing them made it all very real somehow. The carcases were teeming with flies and other insects, reminding her of just how close she'd come to being food herself.

Holding her nose against the smell of rotting wolf flesh, Rin knelt down and retrieved Kohaku's knife from the chest of the lead wolf. It slid out easily enough and she washed it in the river. After a moment's consideration, she slipped it into the waistband of her obi and hid it from sight. She would never again be without a weapon.

She had more difficulty retrieving Kohaku's sword as he'd plunged it straight through a wolf's body. Bracing her foot against the beast's ribcage, she managed to jerk and wiggle the weapon enough for it to pop free. The suddenness with which the wolf's body released it sent her stumbling back into a tree.

She cursed softly as she pushed her hair back off her face. At least there was no one around to see her falling about like a drunken idiot. With that thought her eyes glanced at the spot where the richly-dressed stranger had stood mere days before. Her memory of him was vivid – tall, broad shouldered and regal looking. She'd admired the strong angles of his face and the stunning wave of silver hair that settled over his shoulder. His eyes were the easiest to recall - piercing, intelligent and the colour of honey. Never in her whole life would she forget those eyes.

Just as on that day, there was no trace of him now. Were it not for the two wolf bodies sliced to pieces, she would have doubted if he were real at all.

The gods were on her side for the journey home. She met no other soul until she was at the border of the small mountain village they'd imposed upon. A few of the villagers nodded at her in greeting or smiled as she passed and for a brief moment she remembered what it was like to belong. She would give almost anything to have that life again.

She entered the hut at the end of the road and found Kohaku awake and staring gloomily into the fire. He looked up as she entered and breathed her name with a heavy sigh of relief.

"I thought you had left for good," he confessed.

She shook her head and knelt down next to him, offering up his sword.

"I went back to get this. We will need it for the road ahead," she explained as he took it from her.

"You went all the way back just for this? Rin, you could have been hurt! What if there were more wolves or bandits?"

"You almost sound concerned," she scoffed. "I'm not the only whore in Japan. Rest assured you could find another to be your gift easily enough."

A blush darkened his cheeks as he slid the short sword into its sheath. He set it on the floor next to the futon and fingered the holder for his knife.

"Did you happen to find my knife?"

To avoid having to meet his gaze, she busied herself adding some wood to the fire and shook her head.

"No. The sword was heavy enough to carry."

He laughed a little and swiped a hand across his face.

"Right, sorry. It doesn't matter anyhow. We'll be fine with this," he determined with a nod at his sword.

A soft knock sounded at the door and they looked up to find the old healer woman standing in the entryway. She had stopped by a few times since their arrival to check on Kohaku's wounds. Tonight she carried a small satchel of herbs at her side and two bowls of rice with fish in her hands.

While they took their time nibbling at the _donburi_ , the old woman unwrapped the bandages on Kohaku's arm. She inspected it thoroughly, murmuring and nodding to herself every now and then. When she was finished she bandaged it up tight and offered him a thin smile.

"It looks to be healing well. Keep it dry and favour this arm until it is fully healed. It may take another week, so be patient."

Kohaku looked less than pleased by this news, but nodded his head in understanding.

The old woman didn't linger, staying only long enough to give Rin some herbs and instructions on how to use them in case the wound should re-open. Satiated with a bell full of rice, Kohaku lay back against his futon and invited Rin to lie beside him. Tired after her day's long journey, she offered up no resistance and curled up against his side. His arm wrapped around her with easy familiarity and she rested her head in the nook between his shoulder and chest. It felt nice to be close to him and to hear the reassuringly strong rhythm of his heart in her ear.

"You could have left," he said softly, turning his face towards hers. "Even after you delivered me here you could have run off. I never would have found you."

When she didn't answer, his body shifted next to hers and he rose up onto his elbow. His eyes searched hers, the look in them dark and questioning. She was suddenly aware of every part of him – from the radiating warmth of his body to the faint caress of his breath against her skin.

"Thank you for staying," he whispered, wearing an uncertain smile.

The intensity of his gaze set her heart racing until it was pounding so loud she was certain he could hear it. He stroked his thumb lightly across her cheek and then leaned forward to touch his mouth to hers. Her body came alive in a rush of fire that shot down her spine to the very tips of her toes. She'd been kissed before, by drunks, by men at the brothel, even once by a boy in her village behind his house - but never had a kiss consumed her like his. Just as suddenly Kohaku drew back, smiled at her, and rested his head back down against the floor leaving her struggling to catch her breath as the heat slowly receded from her veins.

It was a dangerous game she was playing. Being here with him, just like this, almost made it feel real. In quiet moments it was easy to pretend that they were nothing more than a simple farming couple. But she understood better than most how dangerous dreams such as those could be. She was a fool if she expected anything to come of this, she knew that, but as she lay back down and his fingertips sleepily traced the length of her spine she found her eyes drifting closed. For tonight at least, she was content to pretend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Donburi is a common Japanese dish made of plain rice topped with meat, fish or vegetables and served in a bowl. Today it is common to have it served with beef, pork (katsu), tempura, or grilled eel.


	11. Chapter 11

Once Kohaku regained his strength, they left the village that had so generously taken them in and continued on their journey to Edo. Departing was bittersweet; they'd known from the beginning that it wouldn't last, but in no time at all that place had felt like home.

They were quiet as they trekked side-by-side down the narrow road leading away from the village. Rin glanced at Kohaku out of the corner of her eye and pursed her lips. His kiss had taken her by surprise and for days afterward she found herself watching him expectantly, waiting for the moment when he would try again. Only, he hadn't. In fact, he'd hardly touched her since that day.

It took several nights of lying awake before she realized that perhaps his kiss had been nothing more than a gesture of gratitude. Maybe  _his_   feelings hadn't changed. What signs had he given her really?

A frown pulled at her lips and Rin studied the clouds of dust billowing about her ankles as she walked. It was foolish to confuse Kohaku's kindness and good humour for affection, she knew that, but the realization that she meant nothing more to him than she ever had left her feeling oddly disappointed.

Sighing softly, Rin looked up and realized that Kohaku was no longer ahead of her. She stopped short and looked ahead to the bridge that traversed the river and the path beyond, but he was on neither. Wondering if perhaps he'd gone down to the river to replenish their water supply, she stepped off the path and picked her way across the slippery rocks of the riverbank.

A short ways down she found him standing next to a small pool. He was in the process of removing his boots and other armour. Rin glanced dubiously at the frigid water and then back at Kohaku. Surely he didn't plan to- She watched, mouth agape, as he stalked naked and fearless into the waiting waters. He made a face and a strangled, gasping cry before slipping beneath the surface. She winced in sympathy but couldn't blame him for wanting a bath – there hadn't been any opportunity to bathe since the onsen at Touji-ba and it could be days before they found another suitable place.

"Cold?" she asked when Kohaku's head reappeared.

"Not in the slightest," he shot back with a grin. He shook off the last of his shivers and scrubbed his hands through his wet hair. When he was finished, the dark strands stuck out at funny angles making him look like a very cold, very wet hedgehog. Rin put a hand over her mouth to stifle a snicker.

"You coming?" he asked, tilting his head at the water.

Eager to be clean as well, Rin set down her bags and retrieved a bar of soap from her satchel. The soap was a parting gift, graciously given to her by one of the village women. It was simple, made out of nothing more than hemp and dried flowers, but to a girl who was used to having nothing to call her own it meant the world.

Hoping the excitement of using her new gift would distract her from the sting of the icy waters, she quickly undressed and joined Kohaku in the river. The water was even colder than she'd expected; it sucked the breath out of her lungs like a sharp blow to the stomach. It took a moment to recover, but once the initial shock wore off she began to lather the soap over her arms. Hazarding a glance at Kohaku, she saw him scratching at the edge of his bandages.

"Does it hurt?" she asked as she made her way over to him.

He glanced up and looked surprised to find her next to him. "It's fine," he said, even as his fingers probed the bandages some more. "No need to worry."

She gave him a look of censure and pulled his arm closer, "Here, let me take a look."

She felt his eyes lingering on her as she slowly un-wrapped the bandages to reveal the wound underneath. It was healing well despite a bit of redness and swelling. He tested the muscles, gingerly flexing his wrist up and down. The bite would leave a nasty scar to be sure, but it didn't seem to affect his mobility.

"What do you think?"

Kohaku leaned imperceptibly closer and she felt the change immediately. Her breath quickened and her cheeks turned pink.

"It-it looks good. I should get some fresh bandages," she muttered.

The cold air outside the pool came as a welcome relief. She retrieved the pouch of herbs the old woman had given her, along with some fresh bandages from their bags and then slipped once more into the cool waters. Kohaku was the perfect patient as she laid out the herbs in layers over top of the wound, just as the old woman had shown her.

"You learned a lot from that healer," he commented, watching her closely.

Rin felt her cheeks flush in response. "She was kind enough to teach me."

Picking up the roll of fresh linen, she wrapped the bandage securely around his arm. When the final knot was tied into place she lifted her eyes to his and noticed for the first time the flecks of gold hidden in their warm brown depths.

"Rin…" He spoke her name softly as his hand slipped over hers, "Why did you stay?"

"I don't know. Guilt I guess," she lied, pulling away.

He caught her by the chin and turned her head to face him. He leaned in until his lips were dangerously close, his expression questioning. Terrified of what it would mean if he kissed her again, she turned her head and felt the warmth of his breath against her cheek. Shivers that had nothing to do with the cold water rippled over her flesh.

"Shall I wash your back?" she offered when the silence became too much. Kohaku agreed with a nod and moved to the centre of the pool so she could settle behind him. She began at his shoulders since she'd long wondered how the taut muscles would feel beneath her fingertips. Taking her time, she massaged the rich, hemp scented suds into his bronzed skin and gently kneaded out any knots. A soft sigh escaped his lips and he bowed his head, relaxing ever so slightly.

Not content to stop there, Rin slipped the tie from his hair and dragged her fingers across his scalp. She worked up a thick lather, making sure not to miss any spots. It was only once she moved around to his front that she realized his eyes were closed. The man who was always on guard had let his defences down for her.

Suppressing a smile, she explored the defined planes of his chest with her soap covered hands. Her fingertips slipped over one raised, silver scar and then another. She first noticed them when they'd bathed in the onsen together, but this was the first chance she'd had to study them up close. There were at least a dozen, some jagged and deep, others faint. Most were about the width of a katana blade. She wondered how many of his wounds were from fighting demons and how many were from fighting the more human-type of monsters.

Her finger gently traced one of the larger scars that cut across the centre of his chest, just above his heart. The question of how he'd received such a mark sat on the tip of her tongue, but the light touch of Kohaku's hand over hers swept her words away.

"May I?" he asked, relieving her of the soap.

She turned round and he took his time, moving the bar slowly between her shoulders blades and then down her back. His touch was firm but not hard, applying just the right amount of pressure to ease her travel weary muscles. He didn't dare be so bold as to wash the front of her body, as she had, but he dedicated no small amount of time to running his fingers through her long, dark hair. By the time they reached her scalp she felt like a puddle of melted candle wax, fluid, pliant and completely impressionable.

"All done," he announced a short while later with a hint of reluctance.

Their gazes met and locked, stealing the very breath from her lungs. He wore a tentative smile as his fingers tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. The look in his eyes told her what he wanted and her body responded with a racing heart and a tell-tale flush that crept up her neck. They were like two flames, she and him - bright and dangerous and dancing in burning circles around one another. He could consume her so easily if he wished it. In that moment, it would have taken hardly anything at all for her to give herself over to him.

But it was Kohaku who pulled away first. He dipped his body beneath the water's icy surface and the connection was broken. Rin pulled in a deep breath and struggled to regain her composure. The brothel had taught her a hundred ways to bend a man's will to suit her needs, but she'd never learned how to protect herself from the same. Did he have any idea the power he held over her?

Kohaku got out of the pool and grabbed his shirt off a nearby tree. He kept his back to her as he slipped it over his shoulders and then pulled on his pants.

"We should go," he said soberly as he slipped their bags over his shoulders. "We'll need to find a place to stay before nightfall."

Caught off guard by his abrupt change in attitude, Rin could do little more than nod.

"I'll give you some privacy."

The words sounded forced to his ears, tainted by an edge he didn't intend but couldn't help. He focused on the hollow sound of his footsteps as they crossed the wooden bridge and then the crunch of the dirt beneath his shoes once he hit the path. He walked twenty paces and then twenty more before finally stopping to wait.

His shoulder found purchase on a nearby tree and he was content to lean against it for support. He just needed… No, what he needed and what he wanted were two different things entirely. He needed to remain focused on the mission and on his village, but what he wanted was her – all of her, every part of her, until the day he died. He'd never felt anything like it and it was slowly driving him mad.

Sighing heavily, he ran a hand through his damp hair and checked back over his shoulder. He could see her just barely through the trees, tying the obi at her waist. Despite the cool air his hands burned with the memory of how it'd felt to touch her; from the gentle curve of her waist to the sloped edge of her clavicle her skin had been as pale and as soft as silk. She was crossing the bridge now, her geta clacking against the wood. He shook his head to clear it, desperate to regain control.

But control had been hard to come by since he'd tasted her. In a moment of weakness, emboldened by his victory over death and awash with relief that she'd chosen to stay, he'd taken what he wanted and now was left yearning for more. Every time he imagined some new way to rationalize giving in to temptation, his guilt was there to stop him. From the day she'd been torn from her village Rin had seen nothing but the worst in men. The very nature of his mission meant that he was no better than any of the others, yet he thought he deserved her? Thought himself entitled to take advantage? It wasn't him. He was better than that.

But all the logic in the world didn't stop his heart from beating just a little harder whenever he caught sight of her elusive smile. It was shaky ground he was on now. If they were to have any hope of making it to Edo, he would have to keep his distance – not only for her sake, but for his own as well. Deep down he knew that if he gave in and crossed that line there would be no going back for either of them.

xXx

The inn was located on the outskirts of a small town. It wasn't especially large or nice, but it had rooms available for the night. Kohaku led her inside and she studied some of the woodworking the owners had laid out while he negotiated on a price with the innkeeper.

With a stern look the innkeeper demanded to know the nature of their relationship. Rin stiffened and waited anxiously for Kohaku's answer. They hadn't devised a plan on their journey from the river. In fact, the walk had been done entirely in silence with him moving several paces ahead of her at all times. Her mind had gone over their last moments together in the pool a dozen times, but she was no closer to understanding his perplexing change in mood.

"She is my wife," Kohaku said simply. "We married not two months ago."

Rin started and the small wooden figure she'd been admiring clattered to the floor. His  _wife_?

She hurriedly retrieved the figurine and set it back on the shelf. The innkeeper narrowed his eyes at her and she bowed in apology. Whether he believed their story or not didn't seem to matter. In the end, he tucked Kohaku's money into his shirt and led them to a room.

The space was small and neat with few embellishments. Fresh tatami had recently been laid out on the floor and Rin breathed in the greenness of its scent with a hint of delight. Her family had put fresh tatami in their home - just once - when she was a child. She could still remember the way the smell lingered, always there to greet you when you came in after a long day. Suffering from a sudden surge of homesickness, she quietly set her bags down on the floor.

Kohaku briefly thanked the innkeeper for his hospitality and then strolled over to the room's single window. He gazed out of it a moment before turning to ask, "Is the room to your liking?"

Rin nodded in agreement and joined him at the window. Beyond it was a picturesque tsubo-niwa garden about the size of three tatami. Some autumn leaves clung stubbornly to the garden's single maple tree, but the verdant mossy landscape and glass-like pond were decorated in a fine layer of crimson and gold.

"Did they have gardens like these where you're from?" Kohaku asked.

She shook her head. "No, we were just a small farming village. We didn't have the luxury of creating such beautiful spaces. Mother always wanted one, of course, but father insisted her efforts were better spent growing herbs and vegetables. He was right, but I could tell how badly my mother wanted to see flowers blooming instead."

"What about your brothers?"

She hardly needed prodding anymore. Now that the door to the past had been opened she had no way to close it again. Remembering how her brothers used to wrestle each other in the back garden after a long day in the fields almost made them seem alive again.

"My brothers were not like you. The only weapons they knew how to wield were the implements they used in the fields. Perhaps if they had known more our village might have been spared that day, but before the raid we'd only ever known peace."

Kohaku's expression darkened and a worried crease formed between his brows. "Did they have families of their own?" he asked gravely.

"My oldest brother, Takuya, lived a few houses away with his wife and young babe. My other brothers, Ryo and Takanori, were of a marrying age but had not yet chosen wives. They used to tease me and say that they couldn't marry until their plain younger sister found a family of her own to belong to, but they still insisted on chasing away any boys who came to our door."

A brief smile drifted across her lips at the memory. Some days it felt like everything would return to what it'd once been if she simply found her way home. Hope of someday returning had kept her alive during those long, dark months in Kyoto. But the truth seemed inescapable now - even if she made it back, nothing would ever be the same again. Like the village she'd grown up in and the brothers she'd cherished, her old life was gone forever.

Defeat and grief swelled inside of her until they overwhelmed her completely. Her knees buckled but Kohaku was there to catch her before she could fall to the floor. He pulled her into his arms and a violent sob tore through her. For the first time since the attack on her village, her frustration and sorrow and regret came pouring out of her. She hadn't wanted to break in front of him, but there was no stopping the torrent now.

Her tears soaked his shirt as he held her tight and muttered reassurances in her ear. His words held no meaning, none that she could decipher, but their tone was soothing. She focused on his voice, the steady rhythm of the heart beating in his chest, and the soft strokes of his hand against the back of her head. In time, he calmed her to the point where her sobs quieted into hiccups and then faded altogether. When she had recovered, Kohaku cradled her face between his hands and wiped the last of the tears from her cheeks. His gaze settled on her lips and he hesitated for the length of a heartbeat before lowering his mouth to hers.

His kiss was soft and warm and she welcomed it. She grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him closer, opening her mouth under his. His fingers slipped into her hair and a soft moan sounded in his throat. He was losing himself too, she realized, and her body suddenly ached with want.

Her hands pulled eagerly at his shirt and explored the hard flesh underneath. He was so very warm and solid beneath his clothes. She felt the curves of his chest and the valleys of his stomach with her fingertips, then worked loose the ties of his pants. In that same instant Kohaku's hand grabbed hers and the moment was over. He was breathing heavily, his cheeks flushed with excitement, but couldn't meet her eyes as he said, "We can't..."

The fire in her veins extinguished as quickly as if he'd thrown a bucket of cold water on her. Stung by his rejection, she jerked her hands from his and turned her back. Behind her she heard the soft rustle of linen as Kohaku tucked in his shirt and re-tied his pants. When he was finished, his hands settled gently atop her shoulders.

"It is not that I don't want-" He broke off and sighed heavily.

She shrugged his hands off her shoulders, frustrated by the effect his touch had on her ability to think rationally.

"I understand," she replied coolly, "No explanation is necessary."

"Rin-" He sounded positively exasperated.

She ignored him and busied herself with unpacking some essentials from their bags. Whether it was due to cowardice or a keen sense of self-preservation, he knew enough to give her space. He lingered by the window a long while staring out at the garden and then departed without a word. He didn't return again until the moon was high in the sky and the tears had dried on her cheeks.


	12. Chapter 12

They came in the dead of the night, bursting through the door like an army. The rush of air blew out the small fire that'd been keeping the heater alight, plunging the room into darkness. Rin heard Kohaku get up and the sound of his sword being drawn. It was answered by six others, maybe more. She was too afraid to count. A part of her wondered if this wasn't in fact a nightmare. She'd had dreams like this before, of bandits rousing her from her sleep to throw her back into the life she so despised. She pinched her arm and twisted the skin sharply enough to leave a bruise but it had no affect. The realization that this was no dream was slow to settle over her, but once it did a paralyzing fear overtook her and rooted her to her futon as solidly as a tree is rooted to the earth. 

A spark flared and a lantern was lit, then another. In the dim light she recognized the scarred face of the bandit who'd try to steal her once before. He leered at her with that same cutting smile and said, "Miss me, pet?"

Kohaku moved quickly, putting himself between them. She gazed up at his back and the sword he leveled at his opponent's chest. Whatever anger, frustration and heartache she might have harboured towards him earlier, in that instant she felt nothing but relief. He wouldn't let them take her. Without understanding how or why, she was certain he would protect her with his life.

"Your fight is with me. Leave her out of this," he growled at the leader, his tone deadly serious.

The rest of the group slowly closed in around them until they were surrounded on three sides. Kohaku saw them too and anxiously bounced on his toes, prepared to strike down whichever man dared to challenge him first.

"Kill him."

The leader's command was succinct and instantly obeyed. Two bandits charged at Kohaku from opposite sides of the room with great battle cries. He dispatched the first in a single stroke of his sword and the second in two. Rin's heart leapt into her throat. Kohaku was a talented fighter, but how many could he possibly defeat on his own?

She clutched at her yukata until her knuckles turned white. It was the only way to keep from reaching for the knife hidden inside her obi. She didn't dare give herself away. If worse came to worst, it would be her last line of defence against them.

When the first two bandits fell, two more took their place. They circled slowly, like wolves closing in on their prey. Desperate to help somehow, Rin grabbed the pan from the heater and tossed its contents towards them. A field of glowing embers scattered across the tatami, scorching the bandits' feet. One of them howled in pain and Kohaku took his shot, felling him with a devastating slash to his neck. The other met his end before his comrade's body had hit the floor.

"You'll pay for that."

Large hands dragged her roughly off the floor and held her tight. She struggled against her captor, aiming kicks and bites at any body part that came within reach. They had little effect and she was delivered unceremoniously into the leader's waiting hands. Kohaku moved to intervene and was quickly blocked by three more bandits. They grinned wickedly at him with their weapons drawn.

The group's leader pulled her close, enough that she could smell the lingering scent of sake on his breath, and pressed his knife to her cheek. She froze, barely breathing, her eyes fixed on his. He licked his lips, excited by her fear.

"Cause me any more trouble and I'll run this blade from the top of your head down to your chin, understand?" He spoke plainly, the expression in his eyes telling her that he would not hesitate to follow through with his threat. She nodded her head ever so slightly, hyper-aware of the knife's cool touch against her skin.

The tatami began to smoke where the burning embers sat atop it, filling the room with its fragrant scent. They were quickly running out of time! Kohaku dispatched his next opponent with relative ease and then lunged forward to attack the others. That's when it happened.

Her eyes dropped to the place where his sword had fallen. Above it, he stood clutching his arm where the wolf's bite lingered beneath its wrappings. His eyes met hers, his features contorted by shock and pain. The bandits wasted no time capitalizing on their advantage. They jumped him all at once and bound his arms tightly behind his back.

"I've changed my mind," the leader announced, giving Rin a sly look. "A quick death would be wasted on such a  _skilled_   fighter. Take him with us. We can think of other ways to deal with this nuisance."

Rin watched in disbelief as Kohaku was led past her out of the room, cursing and struggling futilely against his bindings. The breath that'd remained trapped in her lungs escaped with a shaky exhale. He'd lost? It didn't seem possible, and yet the proof was all around her.

"He's not so tough now, is he?" the leader taunted in her ear. "Like a cat without its claws."

The tatami in the far corner of the room suddenly caught fire and black smoke plumed towards the ceiling. In a matter of minutes the entire inn would be ablaze. The bandits collected their bags off the floor and then forced her into the hall and out onto the street.

Relief flooded through her when she caught a glimpse of Kohaku standing next to one of the horses. As she drew closer she saw that they'd tied him to the saddle. He glared at their captors looking positively murderous. She offered him what she hoped was a reassuring glance as they pulled her past him to the lead horse.

 _We'll be okay._   _We'll figure something out_.

The look he gave indicated that he didn't share her optimism and fear settled in her belly like a rock. It was clear to her that if they were to have any hope of escape, it would going to be entirely up to her.

The bandit leader hopped onto his horse and then pulled her up in front of him. She kept her eyes forward, refusing to meet his stare.

"You and I have unfinished business, pet," he whispered darkly as his hand caressed her face. A shiver of revulsion curled down her spine and she shut her eyes tight. His hand fell away and a dark chuckle rumbled through his chest. With a whistle the group departed, leaving the sleeping town and flame-riddled inn in their wake.

xXx

They arrived with the dawn at an abandoned temple. Rin had heard stories of bandits taking over temples before, but had always imagined they were simply that – stories. She couldn't bear to think of what men like these might have done to the monks who'd once lived peacefully within the temple walls.

As the lead bandit helped her down from the saddle, she watched worriedly as Kohaku's limp form was dragged inside. They'd forced him to run beside the horses the entire way. When he'd stumbled, they'd prodded him sharply with their katana sheaths. When he fell, the horse dragged him till he was able to get his feet beneath him again. It wasn't until she tearfully begged and pleaded and finally threatened to throw herself from the horse that the leader conceded to have Kohaku transported over the back of one of the horses like a sack of rice instead.

Once inside, the bandits had summarily tossed him into a cell made of interlocking bamboo bars tied together with hemp rope. Her panic rose up and threatened to choke her when she saw him face down, unmoving on the floor. She wanted to collapse where she stood and do nothing but cry, but a stern inner voice reminded her that fear and tears would accomplish nothing. So she pulled in a few calming breaths instead and focused on steadying herself. If they were going to have any hope of getting out of this mess alive, she would need a clear head.

With Kohaku incapacitated, the bandits seemed to relax. They took their time unloading their bags and stretched out around a long table that ran from one end of the room to the other. Taking her by the arm, the leader pulled her into the kitchen.

"Time to make yourself useful, pet," he jeered. "My boys are hungry, so do what you women do best and cook us a fine meal."

His eyes travelled hungrily over her features and he brushed his thumb across her trembling bottom lip.

"If the taste is nice, I might even go easy on you later."

She stubbornly turned her face away from his probing touch. 

"There isn't any food to cook," she ground out, thankful to hear that her voice didn't waver.

"I've taken care of that, pet."

She followed his finger to where it pointed at the door. Two bandits were unloading large sacks of rice, vegetables and dried meat atop the table. All of it stolen, no doubt.

"Best get started," he warned, "the boys get grumpy when they're hungry and your boy out there is the only target around."

With his words ringing fresh through her mind, Rin set about the task of preparing their meal. Her hands furiously chopped vegetables into bite-sized pieces. What she wouldn't give for a few drops of poison. The thought brought back a memory of the old woman named Miho, the one who'd slipped her an herbal tea meant to put Kohaku to sleep.

Suppressing a gasp, Rin slipped her fingers into her obi and retrieved the small satchel. She'd never gone through with her plan to use it on Kohaku. Thankful for that bout of wisdom now, she set to work brewing up a fresh batch of Miho's drug laced tea.

The bandits looked impatient when she walked out of the kitchen with the tea a short while later. They were eyeing Kohaku's still form, some of them toying with their knives as they did so. She remained quiet as she laid out the table with tea cups and then went about filling each one.

"What is this," one of them sneered.

"It is something to keep your stomachs warm until the food is ready," she promised while keeping her eyes on the floor. The leader grabbed her wrist on her way back to the kitchen and pulled her into his lap. For a brief moment she thought she'd been discovered, but instead he grinned slyly at her and pressed a wet kiss against her lips. Horrified, she struggled and pushed him away to the amusement of the others. He released her with a cruel laugh and she hurried back to the kitchen.

"Best be quick with that food," he taunted with a nod at the table. "This won't tide them over long."

Back in the kitchen, she braced her hands against the tabletop and pulled in several deep breaths. Every time he touched her, her skin crawled like it was covered with a thousand fire ants. She couldn't bear the thought of his hands on her again, or what he might do to her once Kohaku was gone.

Determined not to give up just yet, she righted herself and wiped the tears out of her eyes. She occupied herself with spooning the cooked rice into a serving bowl. When that was finished, she impatiently paced back and forth in front of the small fire. How long before the tea took effect?

When she couldn't stand it any longer, she grabbed up a pile of rice bowls and chopsticks and returned to the other room. To her surprise, almost every one of the bandits was asleep. Those who weren't were close to nodding off, their heads bobbing as they struggled to stay awake.

She slowly made her way around the table with the bowls, quietly setting them down in front of each man. A surreptitious glance at each of their cups confirmed what she'd hoped was true - they had all drunk the tea! The only one who hadn't was the leader. He glared at her through half-lidded eyes and she noticed that his cup was only half empty.

"What the hell did you give us?" Moving faster than she ever could have expected, he grabbed her and threw her down atop the table. His fingers dug into her throat and she suddenly found herself struggling for air. She squirmed and arched but his hold on her was unbreakable.

"I swear to the gods I'll make you suffer you miserable bitch," he hissed into her ear.

Spots began to form in the peripheries of her vision and suddenly the room seemed far away. It was difficult to hear over the faint ringing that'd taken over her ears. She tried to listen, to speak, but her body felt paralyzed. She wasn't even aware of her hands moving, only the faint sound her knife made as it thrust upwards into the bandit's side.

The menacing look slipped from his scarred face, and was quickly replaced by one of shocked surprise. He released his hold on her and stared wide-eyed at the knife buried hilt-deep in him. Rin managed to roll off the table and the bandit stumbled backward into his chair. He looked at her as though he wanted to say something, perhaps level one last threat, but blood emerged from his lips in place of words and then he was dead.

It could have been minutes or even hours before she found the courage to approach the corpse. With shaking hands she retrieved her bloodied knife and then ran to Kohaku's cell. He was still unconscious, but she could see the reassuring rise and fall of his chest with each breath.

"Kohaku!" she whispered frantically as she forced the door open. "Kohaku, wake up!"

He groaned unintelligibly and she set to work cutting away the ropes that bound his arms in place. The knife's sharp edge made quick work of them and she rolled him over onto his back.

"Kohaku, please! You must get up. We need to leave before they wake!"

He stirred, grimacing as the blood rushed painfully back into his arms. "Rin?"

"Yes, it's me. Please, we must hurry!"

His eyes opened slowly and he looked dazedly about the cell. He caught sight of the table of sleeping bandits behind her and struggled doggedly to his feet.

"How did you-?" His eyes fell to the bloodied knife in her hand, and she quickly put it behind her back.

"I will explain later," she urged, pulling him towards the door. He followed her, his footsteps clumsy. At the sight of the leader's bloodied torso he lifted his brow in surprise but didn't stop for a closer look.

Outside the sun was bright despite the cold chill on the air. Kohaku led her to two horses that were still saddled and untied the reins. He helped her onto the first and she waited for him to pull himself up onto the other. Instead he retrieved a _katana_ from where one of the bandits had hidden it beneath the saddle blanket and pulled it from its sheath. The blade glistened ominously in the morning light, its edge razor sharp.

"What are you doing?" she hissed.

"Wait here," he commanded, his voice eerily calm. She opened her mouth to object but by then he'd disappeared inside the temple.

The minutes crept by slowly, offering little reprieve for her nerves. To distract herself, she used the time to wipe her knife clean and temporarily returned it to her obi. No doubt Kohaku would want it back once they were safe. Her stomach made a nervous flip as she thought about how he might react now that he knew the truth. Would he be angry with her for taking it and lying about it? She didn't imagine he would be overly pleased about her minor act of theft.

As more minutes passed her anxiety worsened. She took to petting the beast beneath her on the neck. It snorted and shook its head as though reassuring her –  _It'll be fine,_ it said,  _everything will be okay._ She nodded and stared at the door, willing Kohaku to return.

He emerged from the darkened doorway slowly, exhaustion dogging his every step. The sword in his hand was soaked in red. He flicked the cast off onto the ground and then used a bit of cloth to wipe the rest of the blade clean. Only once he'd returned the sword to its sheath did he look her in the eye.

"Did they hurt you?"

She shook her head 'No'. He hesitated with his hand on the saddle, his expression uncertain. Whatever he'd done inside that building hadn't been enough. She could see it clearly in his eyes - he was out for blood but there was none left to take. When she didn't break down under the scrutiny of his gaze, he gestured to her horse.

"Do you know how to ride?"

She silently shook her head once more. Horses were a luxury meant for the nobility and samurai classes. Her family never could have afforded one, and even if they had it would have been well beyond their station to own it.

Kohaku slipped the _katana_ into his belt and then tied the second horse's reigns to hers. With practiced ease he pulled himself up behind her on the saddle and wrapped an arm firmly around her waist to keep her secure.

Moving at a steady pace, they headed back down the road in the direction of the village they'd stayed in the previous night. Rin cast a final glance back the bandits' hideout before it was out of sight. Kohaku offered up no explanations and she asked not one word about what he'd done to the men inside. Without wanting to know she knew, and despite the surge of relief it brought she couldn't bear the thought of the scene they'd left behind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * A katana is a long, single-edged sword that was most commonly used and worn by members of the samurai class. Kohaku's short sword would have been known during the period as a wakizashi - a blade shorter than a katana and often worn in addition to it by samurai as a back up sword. Its smaller size made it ideal for close-quarters fighting and ritual suicides.


	13. Chapter 13

In their absence the inn in the village had burned to the ground, nearly taking the surrounding shops with it. The air smelled pleasantly of wood smoke as they approached and small, stubborn flames could be seen licking at the building's skeletal remains. Kohaku dismounted and poked at the blackened earth with his boots. Rin watched as he wandered through the empty space lightly kicking charred timbers and piles of ash aside. What was he searching for?

When he eventually returned he held his blackened short sword in-hand. She eyed the badly damaged blade and wondered what he planned to do with it. Her brows lifted in surprise when he returned the blade to its sheath and then tucked it into his belt. Had they really travelled all that way for a sword? Kohaku discarded his knife so easily – what made that weapon different? The question sat on the tip of her tongue, but one glance at the hard set of his mouth kept her silent.

"Where to now?" she asked instead once he'd returned to the saddle.

"To another inn," he answered flatly. Kohaku manoeuvred their horses down the main street, ignoring the stunned looks of the villagers as they passed. "There is another town not far from here."

His words were undercut by a hard edge and she realized that the carefree boy she'd met in Kyoto was gone. It was as though that person had been sucked straight from his bones, leaving nothing behind. Where she'd once been irritated by his constant chatter, she now found herself wishing he'd say something – anything! – to break the awful silence.

But Kohaku said nothing, and with little else to occupy her thoughts her mind turned to worrying over the reasons for his sudden change. Was he angry with her? Ashamed that she'd rescued him perhaps? There was no shortage of causes that she could imagine, and each seemed worst than the last. By the time they arrived at the next inn, her bottom lip had begun to bleed from her constant, nervous nibbling.

Kohaku avoided meeting her gaze as he helped her down from the horse. She moved slowly as she retrieved their bags from the saddles hoping he'd say something, even if it was only to tell her to hurry up. Instead he slipped the few bags she'd set on the ground over his shoulder and then ventured inside to arrange a room. Thinking it may be best to give him space, Rin slowly unloaded the rest of their bags and then tied the horses to a nearby tree. Only once everything else was done did she follow him inside.

The inn was rather large and boasted a small pond filled with koi in the reception area. She admired the brightly-hued school of fish with a smile until the innkeeper greeted her from the doorway. He was a kind-looking older man with deep wrinkles and a smattering of age spots across his face. He made pleasant small talk about the fine weather as he guided her to her room. He offered to take care of the horses while they rested and then asked if she'd like a breakfast tray. With the events of the morning she hadn't stopped to think about being hungry, but at the mention of food her stomach jumped to life with an audible growl. She quietly asked for two trays, one for Kohaku and the other for herself.

When the innkeeper departed, she exhaled a heavy sigh and bid good riddance to the longest night she could remember. Rin shook her body as if shaking off a bad dream and then slowly opened the shoiji door of their room. Beyond the entry way, Kohaku was sprawled out face down atop the tatami. He hadn't even been able to remove both of his boots before exhaustion claimed him.

With a sympathetic look, Rin gingerly removed his other boot and then set the pair next to her geta by the door. She returned to where he was sleeping and after a moment of consideration removed his katana and short sword as well. She laid them within easy reach in case he should need them and then slipped a small, rice-filled pillow beneath his head.

Despite her poking and prodding his soft snores continued unabated. He looked far less imposing with his features relaxed in sleep. She'd been wary of him before, but now she could find no trace of the menacing look he'd directed at their captors, or the hard edge she'd seen at his mouth. Her fingers reached out, tempted to brush a lock of hair from his forehead, but pulled back when a knock sounded at the door.

On the other side was a plump older woman bearing two trays of food. Rin thanked her graciously and set the trays atop the room's low table. One glance at Kohaku was enough to tell her that not even the promise of a hot meal would be enough to rouse him. Instead, she ate alone and then retrieved a futon and pillow from the closet.

As she rolled it out next to Kohaku, her mind brought her back to the first night they'd met. At the brothel in Kyoto she'd had a futon in her room, much like this one. Kohaku was the first and only man to have entered her room and not used it. It was then that she decided to trust him and his incredible plan to buy her freedom. Of course, she knew his true motive now but the memory remained untainted. He hadn't taken advantage of her that night, or any night since. Instead he'd cared for her, fought for her, and risked his life to protect her even when she was being temperamental, argumentative, and attempting to escape. The thought brought an amused smile to her lips. It was any wonder why he'd put up with her this long.

Kohaku was a rare sort of man, the sort of man she could love, but he would never be hers. In a few days, maybe even a week, they would arrive in Edo and then he would disappear from her life just as abruptly as he'd entered it. Her breakfast quickly turned to stone in the pit of her stomach as she blinked back tears. She would miss him.

A shaky exhale escaped her lips and with it went every last bit of her strength. Exhausted, she closed her eyes and drifted off with the reassuring sound of Kohaku's soft snores in her ear. It never once crossed her mind to leave.

xXx

He wasn't certain how many hours he'd slept, but knew it hadn't been nearly enough. Fatigue made his limbs heavy and his muscles ache. He eyed the cold breakfast tray a short distance away and determined that the effort needed to retrieve it was too much. Instead he propped his head on his hand and watched the girl next to him sleep.

He'd worried that she might be tormented by nightmares after the attack… He'd dreamt of hearing her scream, of wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight, of kissing her delicate face until she was no longer afraid. Looking at her now, she appeared completely at peace. He was glad for it, but envied her all the same.

A sad smile touched his lips as his fingers brushed a loose bit of hair off her cheek. It was then that he saw the finger-shaped bruises covering her neck. The simmering rage inside of him boiled up anew at the thought of that scar-faced bastard putting his hands on her. He wanted nothing more than to run him through and watch him die. The image was so vivid he could practically feel the handle of his sword gripped tight in his hand.

The problem was that Rin had beaten him to it. She'd thrust her knife deep into the bastard's side just as he'd taught her to do. In the moment when she'd needed him most he'd failed to protect her and she'd been forced to take a life. A mere apology would never be enough.

 _I am so sorry I failed you_ , he thought as his thumb ghosted across her cheek.

A faint groan slipped from between her lips and he let his hand fall away. When her eyes opened, those chestnut-hued orbs looked straight at him without any trace of fear.

"You're awake," she said with a small smile pulling at her lips. "Do you feel better?"

"I feel good," he lied, suppressing a wince as he sat up.

She got up more slowly, taking time to stretch her tired muscles. Her eyes looked him over carefully and she lifted a brow in challenge.

"Liar," she teased.

"Did you sleep enough?" he deflected as he massaged a particularly painful knot out of his thigh.

She shrugged lightly and then her expression turned serious. Her hand retrieved his knife from the inner folds of her obi and she laid it on the floor between them.

"Are you very angry that I took it?" 

He picked up the knife and turned it slowly in his hands. The way she looked at him, suddenly so tense and unsure, it was as though she expected him to lash out. The notion that she thought  _him_ capable of harming her cut deep. Did she not know him at all? Or at least well enough to realize that the last thing he wished to do was hurt her?

 _No_ , he realized. After his demonstration that morning what cause did she have to see him as any different? He'd slaughtered an entire group of bandits in their sleep. They might have been thieves and criminals, but he was a murderer with an eager sword hand. He'd proven that to her enough times for it to have made an impression.

"No," he answered directly and set the knife back down. "I am angry with myself. I should have done a better job of protecting you."

She gave him a sympathetic look but remained silent. Any pretty words she might have contrived to soothe him would have been false and they both knew it.

"What happened while I was in the cell?"

His voice hardened once more as his frustration with his own weakness came bubbling to the surface. Rin exhaled and smoothed her hands across the front of her yukata.

It was time for her to come clean, about everything – from stealing his knife, to hiding Miho's drug-laced tea, to her plans to use it on him. They were beyond lies and secrets now and she had grown weary of the burden they placed upon her. Bracing for whatever his reaction might be, Rin went back to the beginning and told Kohaku about how she'd hidden the knife for her own protection.

Next was Miho, the old woman from several villages past. She left out the old crone's comments about marriage but was honest with the rest, including the purpose of the tea. Kohaku's brows lifted in mild surprise.

"Why didn't you use it?" he wondered, genuinely curious. The last time she'd tried to escape would have been a perfect opportunity. Had she given him the tea then, it would have been hours before he realized she was gone.

"If I'd used it then, I would be dead," she pointed out archly. "I suppose we should both be thankful that I didn't."

A reluctant smile turned the corners of Kohaku's mouth until she guided her story to what happened in the bandits' hideout. He looked serious then, and his features only darkened further when she told him about how she'd killed the leader.

"I should have killed them the first time," he said gravely. "If I had-"

"If you had, you might have been killed."

He opened his mouth to object, but she shook her head. "The first time you made the choice to protect me. What happened last night wasn't your fault."

He went quiet, unwilling to agree with her version of events. He couldn't fathom that she was willing to forgive him, much less that she was trying to convince him to forgive himself.

"Was today the first time you've…"

"Taken a life?" she finished for him. He nodded and she glanced at the knife in front of her. Its blade was deceptively clean. If offered no evidence of what she'd done, but she saw the blood there just as clearly as if it were still dripping.

"I don't feel guilty," she whispered, then reluctantly met his gaze. "Is that bad?"

Kohaku smiled sympathetically and retrieved the knife from the floor.

"You were protecting yourself," he reassured her. "There is nothing to feel guilty for."

He weighed the blade in his hand and then flipped it over so that the handle was facing her.

"Here, take it."

When she made no move to grab for it, he pulled her hand forward and placed the handle into her palm.

"Please, Rin. I'll feel better knowing you have something to protect yourself with."

Her fingers closed around the smooth, worn wood and she slipped it into her obi with a resigned sigh.

"Thank you," Kohaku said seriously. "And for this morning, too. You saved my life today."

"A life for a life," she replied, and he knew exactly what she meant.

He'd saved her from the wolves and she'd saved him from certain death at the hands of the bandits; their scores were even. She no longer owed him and he had no right to ask anything of her.

"What now?"

That question was more difficult to answer. No single part of him wanted to leave, but he knew they couldn't stay. Winter was fast closing in. Before long snow would be on the ground making travel all the more dangerous. Even with the horses shortening their journey, they couldn't afford to lose more than a day or two.

"We'll sell one of the horses."

She looked up at him surprised. Whatever she'd expected him to say, it wasn't that.

"We only need one for the journey," he reasoned, "and we could use the extra money for the road ahead."

Her features sobered instantly. "How far is it to Edo then?"

"A few days, maybe less." He hated the way the words sounded, and even more the effect they had on her. She seemed to deflate all at once and lowered her eyes to where her hands were folded tightly in her lap.

"We can stay here another day if you wish," he offered, hoping to fix what he'd broken.

After a long pause, she met his gaze and asked coolly, "Why would we do that?"

Kohaku opened his mouth to say something more but quickly closed again. He hunched forward with his arms resting atop his thighs and stared at her with a lost look. Perhaps he'd been hoping for a different answer. With a weary shake of his head, he conceded defeat.

"We'll leave in the morning, then."

She said nothing, only nodded. Kohaku got to his feet and began searching through their bags. The victory was hers but it was hollow. The thought of leaving didn't fill her with any joy, but she knew it had to be done. What could be gained from delaying the inevitable? Staying, drawing ever closer to him, they would only make it harder in the end.

Kohaku suddenly knelt at her side and caught her off guard. He held out his hand to her and in his palm was a small box. A single kanji adorned the lid; it had been carved into the wood with neat, straight strokes. 薬 _Medicine._

"Here," he said and gestured for her to take it. "One of the villagers told me this balm helps wounds to heal more quickly."

She glanced at it and opened her mouth to say that she didn't need it, but he silenced her with a hard look. Without saying a word, he moved her hair aside and placed his hand around her neck, gently laying his fingers overtop each oval-shaped bruise that stained her skin. Now that he'd drawn her attention to them she could feel the ten small spots and their tiny, throbbing ache. The bastard really had been trying to kill her.

Kohaku pulled his hand away and offered the balm to her again. Clearly he wouldn't take "No" for an answer.

"Thank you," she said meekly and accepted it from him. It smelled of hemp oil and faintly of some herb she couldn't remember the name of. As Kohaku watched, she applied it in a thin layer down her neck and hoped for the best. When she was finished, she offered the box back to him.

"Keep it," he instructed with no trace of a smile. His good humour had vanished and she felt its absence immediately. Acting on impulse, she wrapped her arms around him and held tight.

"The bruises will fade," she reassured him. "In a few days' time they will be forgotten along with the man who put them there. What will remain is the memory of how hard you fought for me. I'll never forget it so long as I live. Thank you."

He was slow to accept her words, but in time she felt the gentle pressure of one hand against her back and then the other. Together they encircled her, pulling her tight against him and she breathed a soft sigh of relief. He held her close until the innkeeper's knock sounded at the door and then reluctantly let her go.


	14. Chapter 14

When Rin awoke the next morning she found herself alone. Kohaku's futon was neatly folded in the corner of the room, but the man himself was nowhere to be found. Stifling a yawn, she rolled onto her back and stared up at the wooden ceiling. Her days of temporary freedom were numbered. Soon she would wake up in the palace of a feudal lord and all her hopes of a happy future would be lost.

Pulling in a deep breath, she let it out slowly and sat up. She wanted to hate Kohaku. She'd certainly tried her best to. In the beginning she'd even managed to convince herself that she did, but now… Despite knowing how their journey would end, she couldn't bring herself to hate him. They'd been through too much together and truthfully she pitied him a little.

Over the long days they'd spent travelling from place to place, she'd considered his predicament more times than she cared to admit. Each time she found herself stuck on the same question - if their roles were reversed, would she not do the same for her village? If it were her brothers, her parents, friends and neighbours who were starving, would she have the strength of will to say "No"?

She looked up as the door slid open and Kohaku entered carrying two breakfast trays.

"Ah, you're awake!" he greeted cheerfully. It seemed that whatever troubles had darkened his mood the previous day were no more. Seeing him returned to his usual disposition brought a hesitant smile to her lips. It was good to have him back.

After he'd removed his boots at the door, he scrutinized her more closely. "Sleep well?" he teased.

It was only then that she realized what she must look like – hair dishevelled, yukata all askew… She gave him a sour look and arranged her hair into a more presentable style. He grinned at her, amused, and set the trays down on the table.

She inspected the offerings - steamed rice, hearty miso soup, and freshly grilled fish. Her stomach growled in anticipation. She reached for the miso soup before Kohaku had even settled across from her. He attacked his breakfast with the same vigour, devouring alternating mouthfuls of rice and fish.

"Where did you go this morning?" she asked conversationally.

Kohaku finished the last of his rice and tea before answering.

"To the village. I sold the second horse and bought some supplies for the road ahead."

She nodded and poured fresh tea from the pot into his cup.

"What sort of supplies?" She hadn't seen him return with any, though perhaps he'd left them with the horse.

Kohaku shrugged dismissively and changed the subject. "While I was there I heard some of the villagers talking about the inn that burned to the ground."

She set down the teapot and gave him her full attention.

"What did they say?"

"Well, I couldn't figure out how the bandits had managed to track us this far. I thought they'd found us too easily but now it makes perfect sense. The innkeeper was a former member of the group. He'd heard they were searching for us and told the others when we arrived."

Rin frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking thoroughly displeased.

"I knew I didn't like the look of that man. I guess it's not such a surprise then that he was one of them."

He nodded in agreement and drank deeply from his cup.

"Well, the gods seem displeased with him," he observed with a thoughtful shrug. "I heard that he survived the fire, but as you saw there's nothing left of the inn. He will have to rebuild or start over somewhere new."

"Pity," she sniffed and finished off her tea.

They lingered at the table in companionable silence until Kohaku exhaled a long sigh and pulled himself to his feet.

"Are you ready?" He picked up one of the bags from the floor and slung it over his shoulder, then reached for another.

Rin reluctantly got to her feet and gathered up her belongings. She followed Kohaku outside and helped him load the lot onto the horse's saddle.

"As I recall, I left Kyoto with only the clothes on my back," she said and groaned as she lifted one of the heavier ones to him. "Where did all of these bags come from?"

"Most are from that village we stayed in after the wolf attack. Some of the others I've collected along the way," he explained as he took the next bag from her hands.

"What's in them?" She fiddled with the knot that kept the bag in her hands closed and attempted to untie it. Kohaku noticed and took the bag from her with a disapproving look. He put it with the others and then moved to her side.

"Here, I'll help you on."

He folded his hands together and stooped down to offer her a foothold but she waved him off. The innkeeper had tied the horse next to a rather large rock. She climbed it until she was high enough to slip her leg over the saddle and pull herself onto it. Kohaku watched her with his arms crossed and an amused smirk on his lips.

"Can't say I've ever seen anyone get on a horse like that before," he laughed.

"It worked, didn't it?" she replied haughtily. Kohaku chuckled and climbed up behind her.

"It's fine," he assured her. "It means you're resourceful - a good quality for any woman to have!"

He wrapped his wounded arm securely around her waist and took the rains with the other. With a cluck of his tongue and kick of his heels, he manoeuvred the horse down the village's main road. In no time it was behind them. The inn, the bandits, and the bruises on her neck…just like the village they would soon be little more than a distant memory.

xXx

"Sango swore she'd never speak to him again, right after she hit him in the face. I don't know what he was more shocked about: that he'd been bested by a woman or that she'd responded to his kiss with a fist to the nose!"

Kohaku laughed as his memory of that day came back to him in full colour. His sister red faced and seething standing over her would-be suitor with her fists clenched tight. At the time he'd been terrified, but now it made him laugh every time he thought of it. He and his sister had that in common - try as they might, they had terrible luck when it came to matters of love.

"Your sister sounds formidable. I think I'd like to meet her some day. Perhaps she could teach me a thing or two."

There were a dozen responses that flashed through his mind -  _I'd like you to meet her too; She'd like you; At my side you'd never have to worry about such dangers again… –_  but he said none of them. Instead he 'hmm'd' and replied, "Perhaps."

He was loathed to allow the conversation to lull and searched for something to say. Rin had kept him preoccupied with questions all morning. She wanted to know about the place where he grew up, how he'd trained to be a demon slayer and about his family too. He'd been talking for the better part of two hours with few breaks. Between the easy conversation and old memories re-emerging, it'd been an enjoyable morning.

Still, he wished that somewhere along the way he'd been able to learn more about her. He knew so little of her life before the brothel. She'd had a family and a home once. He'd hoped that in time she would volunteer some small detail or two, but she hadn't. Whether it was still too painful or she simply didn't trust him enough, the wall she'd erected around that part of herself remained impenetrable. He yearned to know the right words to break through, but he'd never been good with decorum. He was full of good humour and charm, but rarely said the right thing when it mattered.

"I'm curious about something…"

Rin's interjection caught him off guard and he had to ask her to repeat herself.

"I'm curious, why did you have us travel back to that village for your short sword? Why is it so important?"

"Ah," he said with a smile. "This sword has been with me through every training session, every fight and battle. It's become an extension of my body. I couldn't in good conscience leave it to rust in that pile of ash."

"Who gave it to you?"

"My father. He presented it to me when I came of age and was ready to begin my training."

He could remember the day clearly, even after all this time. Seven was the customary age for boys, and on his seventh birthday his father had taken him on a long walk around the village boundary. He'd told him that as a member of the village, protecting all the land within was now his shared responsibility. It was his duty to do whatever was necessary to safeguard the lives within the village walls. He could remember standing tall and swearing to do whatever was asked of him. He'd never seen his father look prouder.

"It's customary in my village for parents to do such a thing," he explained as the memory faded. "The sword has been with me ever since."

"I wish I had something like that to remember mine by," Rin said, her voice far off.

"You have a thousand memories in here," he reminded her and tapped his head lightly with his finger for emphasis. "Your family is there any time you want to see them."

"I know," she replied with a sad smile.

Kohaku found himself at a loss for something to say that would soothe her. Mercifully he saw a village he recognized up ahead. They could rest for a short while, maybe eat some lunch and find a bit of food for the horse. At the edge of the village, he pulled their horse to a stop. He'd passed through this place countless times on his journeys to Kyoto, but it was nothing like he remembered.

Urging the beast forward, he walked them through what was left of the town. On either side of the road homes stood empty, the coverings on their doors flapping aimlessly in the wind. Beyond the huts the fields sat barren, the soil little more than dust. Bad harvests had claimed yet another village. More families displaced, more communities destroyed. It was a stark reminder of what was at stake; without Rin's sacrifice the same fate would surely befall his own village.

"What happened here?" Rin gazed wide-eyed at the abandoned homes, looking horror struck.

"No rain, no food," he replied dully. "They leave or they starve."

As he said this they passed a small cemetery. It had far more gravestones in it than he could recall seeing before.

"Is this what it's like in your village?"

He didn't want to answer, but knew she wouldn't be satisfied unless he did. Clenching his jaw shut tight, he simply nodded.

He hadn't wanted her to see this, but maybe now that she had she might forgive him. It was little more than a fantasy but he held out hope that somewhere inside of her, her compassion would lead her to understand his motives even if she couldn't accept them.

Neither of them spoke until long after they'd cleared the eerily silent village. Seeing it had been a stark reminder to them both of exactly what was at stake and what he stood to lose if they failed.


	15. Chapter 15

She could hear Edo long before they reached the towering gates leading into the city. The streets were bustling with activity; every road was crowded with weary pilgrims, frantic merchants, and elegantly dressed ladies. There were market stalls on each corner and the air was filled with the smell of charcoal and roasted meat. Kyoto had seemed immense, but it was nothing compared to this merchant city.

The streets were too crowded to ride through, so Kohaku helped her down from the horse and led her along the main thoroughfare. Every  _izakaya_  and noodle shop they passed featured a small group of young men outside expressing various degrees of intoxication. She'd been content to let Kohaku go on ahead, but a few too many lingering glances had her picking up her pace.

Like it or not, she'd come to depend on him - his sense of honour, his strength… What would she do without him? If this journey had taught her anything it was how difficult the road home would be. She had no money and no way to protect herself. The knife hidden inside her obi would only do so much if she were approached by another gang of bandits or a group of drunken soldiers. Catching the eye of a rough looking man standing outside a noodle shop, she was vividly reminded of what it felt like to be at their mercy. It was not an experience she had any intention of repeating.

Kohaku glanced back at her over his shoulder and his feet came to an abrupt halt. Something in her expression must have given her away because he stepped forward and took hold of her arm.

"What is it?" he demanded as his eyes scanned the street behind them, "Did someone try to…"

"I'm just a little overwhelmed," she lied. "This city is so much bigger than I imagined it would be."

Kohaku's eyes lingered, searching hers. It was only after another quick survey of the street behind them that he relinquished his hold on her arm and took a step back.

"I hear music," she said softly, turning her head towards the sound. Seeing how eager she was to explore, Kohaku smiled indulgently.

"We've got time," he assured her and they headed together in the direction of the music. The rhythmic beat of the drums, accompanied by crashing symbols and the clacking of hollow wooden blocks grew louder as they neared. 

Surrounding the performers was a large crowd of onlookers, primarily made up of soldiers. Kohaku had seen an _osuwa-daiko_ performance like it before in his travels. They were used to rouse the army and prepare them for battle, to instill them with the spirit of brotherhood and cooperation. He surveyed the crowd around them, noting that there were far more soldiers than there should have been. Every man young enough to wield a sword had one at his side. Such a display did not bode well for either of them – if a battle was indeed coming, they would need to be careful or risk being caught in the middle of it.

When the music finished, the crowd erupted with a hearty cheer and applauded the performers before dispersing. Rin turned 'round and greeted him with a bright smile that nearly stretched from ear to ear. He'd never seen her look so energetic or happy.

"Did you enjoy it?" he asked, feeling his mood lighten at the sight of her smile.

"I've never seen anything like it!" she gushed as he led her away. "I could feel the music moving through my body. What an incredible experience!"

Eager to get her away from the soldiers casting curious looks her way, he suggested they head back to the main road and continue exploring other parts of the city.

"What do they call that performance?" she wondered, suddenly talkative again.

"I believe it's called  _O_ s _uwa-Daiko_."

" _O-suwa Dai-ko_ …," she repeated, testing the name on her tongue. "Why do they do it?"

Kohaku shrugged off the question, "Can't say for sure."

Her mouth pouted faintly in disappointment but it didn't last long. Ahead of them, a group of young women dressed in vibrant kimonos had gathered outside a large set of red torii gates.

"Do you think it's a festival?" she wondered, eagerly picking up her pace.

The closer they drew to the crowd the more obvious it became that it was, in fact, a festival. Amid the pungent scent of incense, men and women sipped  _amazake_  and bowed in prayer before various stone statues.

Children dressed in vibrant kimonos and haori with hakama chased each other round the gates. One small boy crashed headlong into Rin's knees. She laughed and helped him to his feet before sending him on his way. Kohaku stood in awe, thankful to have heard the sound of her laughter at least once before they were forced to part ways. It was a truly beautiful sound. He wished that he'd been able to make her laugh, even just once, but it wasn't so.

She returned to his side with her cheeks bright and a smile still lighting her lips.

"It's Shichi-go-san," she explained as her eyes drifted back to the vibrant display. "Did they do such celebrations in your village?"

He shook his head. Such festivals were the sport of wealthier city merchants, not poor village folk. They continued down the road in search of another spot to explore. As they walked, they happened to pass raised garden, walled in by stone. He noticed Rin eyeing the persimmons drooping low on their branches and in a moment of spontaneity climbed the wall to fetch one.

"What are you doing?" she hissed, glancing nervously down the road in search of guards.

He cut a fruit from one of the overhanging branches and dropped back down beside her. He offered the persimmon to her and she took it with a shy smile.

"You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to," he replied easily.

She caressed the fruit between her fingers and took her time smelling it.

"I've never had one," she confessed sheepishly. "Are they good?"

He nodded and she took a small bite to sample it. Her expression transformed into one of delight and she quickly took another. They walked side by side down the narrow street, admiring the architecture of the grand merchant homes that rose up on either side. Once they reached the crossroad at the end, her feet drew to a stop. Rin looked at the ground and then down the next road, everywhere but at him.

"I've been thinking…," she said softly, still avoiding his gaze. "If someone wanted to hire you as a guard of sorts, how much would you charge them?"

"Likely more than you can afford," he answered, wary of where this line of questioning was headed.

"And what if I offered myself?"

He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She'd backed him into a corner. How was it whenever he spoke to women they were able to run circles around him with their words. No matter how he answered, she would be left unsatisfied.

"I could never accept those terms," he said finally.

"I see." Her tone was soft, if a little sad, but the straightening of her spine told him that the walls had returned. His brief glimpse of the girl she'd been before the world did its best to destroy her was gone.

As they passed a large temple, a group of women emerged dressed in fine silk kimonos. They looked perfectly elegant and positively ladylike. The way Rin's eyes followed them down the street didn't escape his notice. Taking her by the hand, he led her down the next narrow street in the direction of the garment district.

"Where are we going?" she asked warily.

His answering smile was full of mischief.

"You'll see."

xXx

Kohaku's idea, as it turned out, was beyond anything she could have imagined.

He led her purposefully down several more streets until they were in the heart of the garment district. Vibrant bolts of coloured silk and beautifully fashioned kimonos adorned the shop windows along either side of the street. Well dressed women passed them by, their pale faces shielded from the sun by delicate umbrellas. Many of them were breathtakingly beautiful, beyond anything she'd ever seen up close.

When they arrived at their destination, Kohaku pulled her down a narrow alley and through the door of a kimono maker's shop. He left her standing by the door while he spoke in hushed tones with the owner.

"I think you've earned some nicer clothes," he explained once he returned to her side. "This woman's going to take your measurements and make a new kimono for you. You can choose any colour or pattern you like.

Rin opened her mouth to insist that her yukata was more than adequate but he lifted his hand to silence her.

"At the very least," he said, "you'll have a few hours to yourself without me around to bother you. I'm going to find somewhere for us to stay for the night."

A reluctant smile touched her lips.

"Are you ready, Miss?"

Rin turned to the waiting tailor and then glanced uncertainly back at Kohaku. He bid her goodbye with a short bow and escaped out the door.

The tailor approached her with a kind smile. She was an older woman, perhaps a few years older than her own mother had been the last time they'd seen each other. Warm hands that were worn from years of sewing took hers up and she was led to stand before a large window.

"That's a very nice man you have there," she commented with a knowing look.

Rin nodded and her eyes followed Kohaku down the street until he disappeared from sight.

"He is, isn't he..."

xXx

Behind the dressing screen, Rin studied her reflection in a small polished mirror while the tailor's assistant straightened the bow of her obi. The material she'd chosen for the kimono featured bright yellow sunflowers laid over a background of orange silk. The flowers reminded her of the ones that used to grow in a field near her home. She could remember them towering over her when she was a child. Each time she'd wandered into that field it'd felt like stepping into another world. She turned to the side to examine the bow of her obi in the mirror. It was made of a blood red silk, like the colour of an autumn sunset.

She no longer looked like the girl who'd walked out of the brothel in Kyoto. She looked respectable, almost like a lady. She stood taller in the mirror and adjusted the decorative comb they'd used to pin up her hair.

"Come, we mustn't keep your man waiting," the assistant whispered and gave her hands an encouraging squeeze.

Her heart fluttered in her chest as the assistant folded the screen back and led her into the main viewing room. Kohaku was standing by the door, talking easily with the tailor. The moment she came into view their conversation halted and he stared at her with his mouth agape.

"Is it acceptable?" she asked, suddenly feeling shy beneath his gaze. He looked her over and exhaled slowly.

"More than acceptable," he promised with a grin.

Rin thanked the tailor profusely for her hard work, but the woman waved her off with a kind look and then ushered them both out the door. The moment they hit the street, Kohaku took his time looking her over again. Whatever he saw pleased him greatly; there was light behind his eyes and the corners of his mouth twitched as if he were suppressing another grin.

"Ready for dinner?" he asked, extending his arm for her to take.

Her stomach made a nervous flip as she wrapped her hands around his arm. Lifting her eyes to his she felt her heart stutter inside her chest and braved a smile. Oh, but they were in dangerous territory now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Osuwa Daiko – A group drum performance with its roots in samurai war drumming, which inspired the soul of the samurai and raised morale before battle. The primary purpose of Osuwa Daiko is to promote a spirit of cooperation, friendship and harmony.
> 
> *Haori & Hakama – Dress jacket & trousers for boys; male version of kimono. At Shichi-go-san, five year-old boys wear hakama for the first time.
> 
> *Amazake – a traditional, sweet form of sake that usually has little to no alcohol in it. During the colder months it is heated and served warm with a pinch of fresh ginger on top.
> 
> *Shichi-Go-San – Translation: "Seven-Five-Three"; an annual festival that takes place in November. Children that are seven, five or three years in age are brought to Shinto shrines to pray for healthy growth. Commoners did not begin following this practice until later in the Edo Period. One of the most popular places in Tokyo for this festival is Hie Shrine, which is where Rin & Kohaku are visiting in this chapter.


	16. Chapter 16

The restaurant was full and warm, promising its patrons hours of relief from the night time cold. They entered and were greeted by the boisterous chatter of the other diners. The air smelled of pipe tobacco and faintly, too, of soy sauce and roasting fish.

A dozen pairs of eyes followed them from the door to their table, watching, surveying, and speculating. If she noticed, Rin made no acknowledgement of it as she sat down and glanced at the menu. Kohaku returned the stares of the other patrons. Some looked away and returned to their sake and dinner. Others did not.

Mere hours ago she'd been his alone to appreciate, his alone to adore. But that simple country girl was gone. Across from him sat a woman, as elegant and refined as any lady of the merchant city. There was nothing simple or country about her. He'd known that from the beginning, but now the others knew it too and it left him feeling restless.

"Is everything okay?"

His eyes met hers and his stomach did a nervous flip. Smiling politely he replied, "Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

Her shoulders lifted in a light shrug. "You haven't touched your dinner. And you keep glaring at the other tables."

He looked down at the cold meal in front of him as if only just noticing it was there. With his stomach twisted up in knots, eating was simply not an option. He made a show of picking up his chopsticks anyhow.

"Everything's fine," he lied.

She didn't look convinced but didn't press the issue. Instead she glanced curiously about the small establishment, admiring the various prints and knick knacks adorning the walls. She caught the eye of a man at the table adjacent to theirs. He smiled and she smiled back. Kohaku tensed in his seat and speared a bit of chicken with his chopsticks.

It never occurred to him that he would develop feelings for her, or that they would grow into something that went beyond what logic, guilt or willpower could control. Four weeks at her side and he no longer felt confident about anything, much less his decision to hand her over to the daimyo. Suffering another wolf bite seemed preferable in the face of the choice that lay ahead.

A slight movement from her caught his eye and he followed her fingers as they tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. For days now he'd longed to touch her in just such a way, with small, simple gestures borne out of familiarity and companionship. His gaze lingered on the curve of her neck and he licked his lips. He longed to know what it was to kiss that skin and feel her pulse beating hard against his lips. Oh, how prudence was failing him now.

When he looked up her eyes were fixed on him and a slight furrow had formed between her brows. Realizing he'd been caught, he hurriedly glanced away but it was too late.

"What is it?" she demanded.

"Nothing," he assured her and lifted the saucer of sake to his lips to wash the nerves back down his throat.

"I was just…" he stumbled, fumbling for a believable lie, "I-I was just wondering about your kimono..."

Her features softened and she stroked a hand over the silk covering her forearm.

"You're wondering why I chose sunflowers in winter."

He nodded and she studied the sleeve of her kimono with a long look. "They reminded me of home."

When she didn't say more, he poured some fresh tea into her cup. The unspoken question hung in the air between them as he set the teapot down. He wanted to know everything about the place she grew up but wouldn't push for any more than she was willing to give. Rin took a long sip of tea and then held the warm cup between her hands.

"Just outside my village there used to be a large field of sunflowers," she said with a note of longing in her tone. "Every summer when we were young, my brothers and I would play amongst the tall stalks. Being so small, the flowers practically swallowed us up. We could hide for hours in them before anyone found us. Are there such fields where you are from?"

He shook his head and her features fell.

"Oh. That's too bad," she said, offering him a sad smile.

Silence stretched between them, punctuated by the animated conversations taking place at the tables all around them. Her eyes lifted to his, the expression in them filled with doubt and uncertainty. It was rare that she shared anything personal with him, and rarer still when she allowed him to see her vulnerable.

"It was a good choice," he reassured her, boldly reaching across the table to take her hand. "I like the flowers."

Her eyes lingered on the place where their hands were joined and a faint blush coloured her cheeks.

"Where are you from that you don't see sunflowers in spring?" she wondered aloud.

"Dewa province, in the north," he replied, noticing that she hadn't pulled her hand away. "The winters are long and the growing season is short."

She regarded him with a thoughtful look. "My village was in Yamato province, near Mount Yoshino. Do you know it?"

Yamato was just south of Kyoto. He'd deduced that the bandits couldn't have travelled far to deliver her to the brothel, but he hadn't realized just how close she'd been. Mount Yoshino was barely a day's journey from Kyoto on horseback. He felt a fresh wave of guilt wash over him for having taken her so far from home.

"It's a small place," she added with a dismissive shrug. "Not many visit there. The mountains make it difficult for travellers."

Unable to meet her dark eyes, he released her hand and reached for the sake. She intercepted and took the bottle from his hands.

"I want to thank you for today," she said as she filled his saucer. When it was full, she poured some for herself and then set the bottle down.

"This kimono –– It's beyond words." She ran her fingers over the silk cuff of her sleeve in amazement. "I don't know how to repay ––"

"Rin – You risked your life to save mine. Consider it a small token of my gratitude for not leaving me to the mercy of a group of thugs."

She stubbornly shook her head and opened her mouth to object but was interrupted by a loud shout from the next table.

"What the hell? You bastard!"

A drunken patron stumbled to his feet and threw an uncoordinated punch at his comrade. He missed and fell into a table, sending dirty plates and cups crashing to the floor. His tablemate retaliated by drawing his katana and threatening to skewer his drunken friend like a piece of squid.

"Time to go," Kohaku instructed with a grim look. He tossed down enough money to cover their bill and Rin nervously followed him past the tussling drunkards. Once they were outside the sound of angry shouts and breaking dishes faded away.

He turned to make sure she was okay and the air swiftly escaped from his lungs. The cool moonlight reflected off her pale skin, making it appear as smooth and unblemished as marble. She was positively radiant. She glanced up at him and his stomach did another nervous flip. He wished he'd thought to bring the bottle of sake with them.

"Shall we walk a little?" she asked, taking his arm. "I want to see more of this place."

They toured the deserted street together, gliding past darkened shop windows and lonely food vendors. One man was selling roasted chestnuts from a cart and the fragrant scent filled their lungs as they walked by. They'd reached the end of the street and turned down another before either of them spoke.

"How many others have there been?"

He started at the question. "What do you mean?"

"I mean this," she said, gesturing between them with her hand. "How many other girls have you taken on this journey to Edo?"

He breathed a soft sigh of relief and managed a smile.

"Would you believe me if I said you were the first?"

She lifted a dubious brow and he laughed.

"It's true! You're the first and the last."

"Did I scare you off so easily? I thought demon slayers were supposed to be fearless," she teased and playfully hit his arm.

"We might court danger, but we're not lunatics."

"That remains to be seen," she replied archly.

He grinned, happy to be talking with her so easily even if she  _was_  mocking him.

They turned down another road and passed two older women dressed in plain, neatly pressed yukata. The pair cast a few disparaging looks their way and whispered to one another behind their hands. Kohaku's momentary confusion was quickly replaced by a daunting realization – in the city it was unacceptable for a woman to be out at night without a chaperon. Such rules of etiquette had no place in the countryside, but everything was different within these city walls. Though he would have gladly spent hours walking with her, he discretely guided Rin back in the direction of the inn.

"Tell me more about Yamato province," he urged, hoping to distract her. "What season is its most beautiful?"

"Spring," she answered without hesitation. "When the snow thaws, the flowers come. The mountain is covered in a thousand cherry trees and as the weather warms they bloom row by row. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

He watched her nervously tuck those same stubborn strands of hair behind her ear and thought that he understood the sentiment all too well.

The wind picked up in a sudden chilly gust that brought with it winter's first tiny flakes of snow. They drifted down from the dark sky and settled atop their hair and shoulders. Rin stuck out her hand and caught her first snowflake of the season. She showed it to him with an eager smile, but he couldn't share her excitement. If snow had arrived in Edo that meant it'd reached his village as well. He glared up at the sky in disappointment. He'd hoped to have a few more days ––

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"The snow…," he replied sullenly. "It means we're out of time."

Her hands tightened around his arm, though whether it was out of comfort or fear he couldn't be certain.

"I've decided something," she said quietly. He inclined his head towards her, determined to hear her over the blowing wind.

"I want you to give me to the daimyo."

"What? Why?" His words emerged sounding strangled and he grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to stop and face him.

"I saw what happened to that other village," she answered, lifting her jaw defiantly. "I don't want that to happen to anyone else. If giving me to the daimyo means your village will survive the winter then it's okay, I'll go."

He gaped at her in silence, finding himself at a loss for words. For days he'd been agonizing over his decision to give her up, torn between his feelings for her and his duty to his village. He'd been dreading the hour when he would bring her to the daimyo's residence, and the goodbye that would follow shortly after––Just thinking about it was enough to make his chest feel uncomfortably tight. Never once had it occurred to him that she would go willingly and sacrifice her freedom for the sake of his village. The thought hit him with the force of a katana handle to the gut.

The words poured out of him, sounding nearly as fragmented as the thoughts in his head: "You don't have to –– If I sell the rest–– They can manage a little longer–– You can go home––"

She silenced him with the calming touch of her hand atop his arm.

"My home is gone," she reminded him with a sad smile. "Besides, we've already come this far."

He stubbornly shook his head. "I can't–– "

She gave him a pitying look and countered, "You must."

He had a hundred reasons for saying "No", all of them selfish. They remained stuck in his throat, nearly suffocating him with their need to come out.

"We'll go tomorrow, then."

He nodded stiffly at her words and she looked torn between relief and disappointment. Her hands fell away from his arm and she buried them into her long sleeves to keep them warm.

"It's cold," she observed with a tiny frown. "Perhaps we should go inside."

She tilted her head towards the inn, silently inviting him to follow her back. He hesitated, uncertain whether he could trust himself to be alone with her. The news of her imminent departure had heightened everything he felt for her, right down to the carnal parts of him that yearned to feel her body wrapped around his.

With his feet rooted to the earth he watched after her until she disappeared inside. He briefly considered finding an izakaya and drowning himself in sake until sunrise, but the nature gods had other plans in mind. A sudden sharp wind blew down the street, whipping at his face 'til his cheeks burned and his eyes watered. He shivered beneath the thin jacket he wore and eyed the inn a short distance away. It would be warm inside, and Rin would be there as well…

It took a few more minutes of trembling in the cold before he was willing to concede defeat. Uttering a soft curse, he bowed his head into the frigid wind and headed for the door.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexual content.

It was late and their room was dark. Kohaku shut the door behind him and gave his eyes a moment to adjust. Rin was crouched in front of the  _hibachi_ * where the red glow of the embers illuminated her face from the shadows. She added a few pieces of charcoal to the small fire that would keep them warm throughout the night then stood upright, casting a glance at him over her shoulder.

The words he'd longed to say on the street hovered close to the surface. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, so much she needed to hear. His socked feet made no sound atop the tatami.

He moved behind her, sliding his hands up her arms as he breathed her in. She smelled faintly of camphor and the rice powder the kimono shop had dusted across her skin.

"Your hands are cold," she gasped with a note of censure. She stole them away before they could reach their goal and held them close to the fire. The flame's faint, radiant heat was nothing compared to the soothing warmth of her palms. With a touch she melted the cold from his limbs, softening them bit by bit.

A moment of silence passed and she rested her head lightly against his shoulder. He could stop it if he wanted to. A single word of censure would be enough to dissuade her. Instead his hands brushed over the soft silk covering her shoulders. She turned in his arms and he gently cradled her jaw.

"Rin-I…"

Her dark eyes searched his with a patient look and he felt his words evaporate once more.

"It's okay," she whispered and moved closer until her warm hands were pressed against his chest.

He breathed a soft sigh and her hands moved higher; they slipped around his neck to pull her body against his. She was hard and soft in all the right places and it made his knees feel weak. The small, alluring smile that curved her mouth was all the invitation he needed. His lips found hers and a soft moan that was half relief and half tortured want sounded in the back of his throat.

There'd been countless nights on the road to Edo when he'd awoken from dreams just like this. Sometimes she would cry out his name, others he'd gasp hers while she blazed a burning trail across his naked flesh with her hot mouth. In all his life his body had never so thoroughly ached with want.

Her tongue slid teasingly against his and his arms encircled her narrow waist. She'd kissed him like this before, that day when she'd told him about her brothers. Maybe she didn't hate him after all. Maybe she'd forgiven him for taking her so far from her home. Maybe he was only fooling himself. The seed of doubt grew until it could no longer be ignored. Did she even want this?

Red-faced and out of breath, he pulled away and studied her half-lidded gaze and swollen lips.

"Rin, if you don't want-"

She made a frustrated noise and pulled his mouth back down to hers.

"Baka. I want this."*

Her words burned through him and he exhaled a shaky breath. For weeks he'd pushed down his steadily growing feelings for her in the hopes that they would soon be forgotten. It was dangerous to care for her that way, wrong to want her. He knew that, understood it more clearly than he would've liked, yet the harder he tried to bury them the more powerful those feelings became. Even now, with his conscience demanding that he stop this foolishness before it went too far, he couldn't find the will to obey. As unworthy as he was she wanted him too, and for the moment that meant more to him than duty or responsibility or pride.

Dipping his head low, he gently pulled the edge of her kimono aside and followed the plane of her shoulder with his mouth. His lips slid over all the parts he'd longed to touch, including the elusive spot just beneath her ear. She giggled softly as his breath tickled her neck and the sound sent shivers tingling down his spine. He closed his eyes and did it again, committing the coy melody to memory. Every part of her was perfection.

Rin saved her neck from further teasing and manoeuvred her hands beneath Kohaku's shirt. She pulled the material over his head and tossed it carelessly to the floor. In the dim light she traced the scars that marred the skin of his chest, mapping them with her fingertips and lips. She was determined to commit them to memory – every tiny mark, every battle scar. She pressed a kiss to the largest one, the one that cut across his heart, and felt his pulse against her lips. It didn't matter who had come before or who would come after. Tonight his scars, his body, and his heart belonged to her.

With a hand at her waist he guided her to his futon on the floor. For as long as she'd known it, sex had been mechanical. There were no feelings attached to the movements, no passion behind the touch. This was different. There was an appreciation behind Kohaku's caresses, a gentleness to them that was borne out of affection and trust. She'd never known it could be like this. She smiled to herself and opened her mouth under his, groaning as his tongue delved inside seeking hers out.

She wasn't naïve enough to think that Kohaku loved her, but she couldn't deny that the way he caressed her made her body move in strange new ways; it made her feel alive. Without even knowing it, he was providing her with the answer to a question that had long plagued her thoughts. When it was right, when it was with someone you cared about, it could feel good for her too.

Kohaku's hand moved slowly, tantalizingly, down her body. He pulled her kimono open at the waist and she bit her lip to stifle a moan as his hands explored the bare flesh underneath. His mouth soon followed and he committed the most exquisite tortures against her - nibbling, sucking, and laving until she'd buried her fingers in his hair and arched her body into his mouth.

Encouraged, he explored further, his hands taking a meandering route down her stomach and over her hips to his next goal. Her body was thrumming, practically pulsing with expectation. He slid his fingers slowly, ever so slowly, into her warm, wet centre and she uttered a soft cry. His lips quirked upwards and he looked pleased by her reaction. With careful attention he teased, rubbed, and explored her until her hips were rocking against his hand, pleading for more. With eyes shut tight, she rested her head against his shoulder and breathlessly whispered his name.

At the sudden loss of his touch her eyes snapped open. He was above her, wearing a tender look she hadn't seen him wear before. The brief flash of concern in his eyes told her she could stop this if she wanted to, but she didn't want to stop. Tomorrow her world would change forever. At daybreak she would be forced to relinquish all that made her a simple country girl and become an Oiran of the daimyo's household. She would give up her past life, her hopes of returning home, and Kohaku too.

A quick glance at the window confirmed the sun had not yet risen. While the world was still dark she could pretend this one last time. She imagined the inn was their house, built by Kohaku's hands, and that the futon was their bed. In her dream she was his without doubt or reservation. There was no dark past to run from, no bandits or burning homes. Fumbling and nervous, he'd asked her to be his wife while her brothers looked on approvingly, wearing matching knowing smiles. At her nod she knew there would be no going back. With her heart racing in her chest she moved her head and he kissed her, smiling against her lips.

His hand slid languidly down the length of her thigh and then hooked her leg over his hip. With a hand on either cheek, she soothed away the sudden nervous look at crossed his features. He kissed her once on the bridge of her nose then stole her hand and pressed it to the futon, entwining his fingers with hers. With another kiss he entered her, slowly, carefully, and her eyes drifted closed.

She waited for the pain to begin, for his frenzied pace, for the impatience of wanting it to be over. His hips moved in a slow rhythm and a soft moan sounded in the back of his throat. He traced a path from her lips down her neck, to her shoulder and then the tops of her breasts. Each kiss left behind a tiny spot of fire that sent a shiver of pleasure jetting down her spine. Her eyes opened uncertainly and her hand slid up the bare skin of his back to wrap around his shoulder. There was no pain. She felt only warmth, power and a hunger unlike anything she'd ever felt. For the first time in her life she found herself actually wanting  _more_.

Her hips lifted to meet Kohaku's next thrust and a pleasing grunt reached her ears. She bit back a smile and did it again, enjoying the little noises she was able to extract from him. His mouth pressed to her neck and she nipped at his shoulder, her teeth sliding over the rounded muscle. He grabbed hold of her hips and thrust a little harder. Her body responded instantly, tightening around him as her fingernail slid down the taut planes of his back.

They were moving in perfect synchrony, each sigh and moan echoed by the other. It could have been minutes or hours before she heard Kohaku gasp her name in a throaty cry that told her he was reaching his limit. She held him tighter, not wanting it to end. The sensation of his body being over her, inside of her, and around her all at once made her feel excruciatingly alive. And the muted cries that escaped his throat whenever she touched him, when would she hear those again? He breathed her name and kissed her hard on the mouth. Her body arched impatiently into his demanding more.

What happened next was as inevitable as the sunrise. With a cry Kohaku buried his head against her shoulder and gave himself up to her. Beneath her hands the muscles of his back shivered and twitched and a satisfied smile played across her lips. It had been perfect. Closing her eyes in contentment, she pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder. She couldn't have asked for a better memory to take with her once she left this place.

Kohaku rose up with an exhausted grin and gently kissed her once more. Rolling onto his back, he brought her with him, tucking her in tight against his side. She went willingly and listened with her head against his chest to the sound of his heart. His fingertips tenderly brushed her arm while hers traced the large white scar at the centre of his chest. They were quiet after that, each trying their best to avoid thinking about morning.

"Where did you get this one?" she murmured after a while.

Kohaku put a hand behind his head and gave a languid shrug.

"A demon's claw."

She studied the jagged shape and frowned. "Are all demons so big?"

"Some are," he replied seriously, "but we don't usually fight the bigger ones alone."

"How did it happen?"

She lifted her head off his chest and laid her chin atop her hand. He breathed an inaudible sigh and gazed up at the ceiling.

"I made an error in judgment," he said gravely. "I was the headman's only son. The entire village was watching me, waiting to see if I would live up to my father's reputation. I figured the only way to do that was to become the youngest demon slayer ever to have their first solo kill."

He closed his eyes and shook his head in frustration. Pulling in a deep breath, he let it out slowly and met her gaze.

"I was nearly dead by the time Sango found me. When she carried me back to our village, my father met us at the gate. It was the first and only time I've ever seen him cry. "

"Did you kill the demon?" she asked with an inquisitive tilt of her head.

He flashed a boyish grin, "Of course."

She smiled in spite of herself and his arm settled around her waist, holding her against him.

"Do you enjoy killing demons?" Her eyes followed the path of a small white scar on the underside of his chin and then lifted to meet his gaze.

"I was born to slay demons," he explained with little enthusiasm. "I've trained hard to become one of the best in our village."

"That doesn't answer my question."

His eyes held hers and he reluctantly conceded defeat. "I don't enjoy it, but it's my duty. I do a lot of things I don't enjoy for the sake of duty."

His jaw tightened and she let the sentiment behind his words sink in. He looked as though he expected her to deliver a cutting remark or a jab of dark humour. Instead she asked, "What would you rather do?"

His brow lifted in surprise at the question. It was as though he'd never stopped to consider it before. He took a while to answer and she waited patiently, having no desire to rush the little time they had left.

"Be a farmer perhaps, in a small village somewhere in the mountains. I want to have a house of my own, with sturdy walls built by my own hands. And endless fields where I can grow rice enough to feed a village. And a wife who's willing to put up with me…"

He stopped and his eyes slid over to hers.

"You'll have trouble with that last one," she teased, hiding her pain behind a smile. She didn't want to admit how deeply his words had cut her. Kohaku was a good man worthy of a good woman who could love him the way he deserved. He was owed  so much more than a broken girl with a dark, twisted past. For a brief moment she was thankful to be going to the daimyo. It would make things easier in the end.

Kohaku's lips twitched, but didn't lift into a smile. He relinquished his hold on her and placed both hands behind his head.

"Will you stay in Edo long?" she wondered aloud.

Kohaku kept his gaze on the ceiling as he shook his head. "My village needs food and supplies and the journey will be difficult if more snow falls."

Rin felt something inside of her give way and deflate. She didn't know why, but his answer disappointed her. Maybe a part of her had hoped he would stay in Edo so that she might steal a glance of him every once in a while. Knowing that he would leave her behind made it all feel so final. Defeated, she picked herself up off of him and slid over to her own futon.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Kohaku lifted his head and reached for her, wearing a look of concern.

The cold hit her like a wall and she immediately regretted leaving the warmth of his side. Suppressing a shiver, she slipped beneath the icy covers of her own futon.

"Nothing. I'm going to get some sleep," she lied.

He looked surprised but offered up no objections. She could feel his eyes on her, even as she feigned sleep. Eventually his blankets rustled, signifying that he'd lain back down and she released the breath she'd been holding. It was better this way, she told herself, determined to believe it. It didn't work. The words were hollow and she knew it.

When enough time had passed she turned her back on Kohaku's motionless form and stared up at the window. Outside the night sky was slowly turning grey, signalling the coming dawn. She'd never felt so bitter towards a sunrise. Biting her lip to stifle any sound, she buried her face into her pillow and cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * A hibachi is a traditional Japanese heater. It's a round or cylindrical pot, usually made of ceramic or clay. To use it, people would light a small fire with wood in the bottom and then pile charcoal on top. The burning charcoal would radiate heat and warm a space (slightly) during cold winter months.
> 
> * 'Baka' is a very common Japanese insult that means the equivalent of 'idiot' or 'fool'. The intensity of the insult depends on how the speaker says it.


	18. Chapter 18

Sunlight streamed through the  _sudare_  screens covering the windows, casting alternating patterns of light and shade across the tatami. Rin stared at a spot on the wall opposite to where she lay and listened to the sound of Kohaku's breaths. He'd been awake for some time but lay there quietly staring at the ceiling. She wondered if he'd slept at all. She certainly hadn't but was too exhausted to feel it anymore.

After hours of silent tears spilt over the loss of her old life and the one she wanted, a sense of calm had settled over her. It was like the mountain after a storm, when the clouds would hover low around its base looking spent, all but drained of their menace. She blinked, noticing how tight and swollen her eyes felt and reasoned that the rest of her must look equally worn. It certainly wasn't the lasting impression she'd wanted to leave Kohaku with.

He stirred behind her, finally getting up from his bed. She listened as he slowly pulled his clothes on one item at a time. His boots were last and once he had them on he headed out the door and closed it behind him with a dull snap.

In his absence the weight in the room lifted and the breath escaped her lungs in a single exhale. She sat up slowly, aware of every part of herself. Her body was tender and ached with the lingering impression of Kohaku's touch. It was a bitter reminder of their perfect last night together. Her hands moved listlessly to re-tie her kimono and straighten her hair. She missed the sense of purpose that used to guide her days. For weeks she'd known where this journey of theirs would end, but each new morning had brought with it the promise of the unexpected, of adventure. Anything could happen on the road to Edo - and it had! But it was over now. They had one last day, one final destination.

She shivered and warmed her hands next to the  _hibachi._  She was still there when Kohaku returned carrying a breakfast tray in-hand. His look was fleeting as he set the tray on the table. He ran a distracted hand through his hair, making it stand up on end. The way he moved about, shifting his weight from foot to foot, made him appear nervous and self-aware. With a sweeping glance she took in his hunched shoulders and the dark smudges beneath his eyes. Sleep had eluded him as well.

Kohaku swiped a hand wearily over his face and then gestured at the tray.

"I thought you might be hungry," he offered, his voice sounding rougher than usual. She noticed he hadn't brought a tray for himself.

A 'thank you' hovered on her tongue, but the effort needed to force it past her lips felt monumental and far beyond what she was capable of at the moment. Instead she bowed her head and turned back to the small fire in front of her. The thought of eating made her stomach harden into stone.

While she added more charcoal to the  _hibachi_  Kohaku tidied their futons, piling them neatly in the corner of the room. When he was finished he knelt at the small table, looking anywhere but at her. He was stalling, though whether it was for her benefit or his own she couldn't be certain. In any case, it didn't matter. There was no sense dragging out the inevitable and the longer it stretched the more oppressive the silence in the room became. When she could no longer stand it, she got to her feet, slipped on her geta and headed out the door. By the time Kohaku joined her she was already seated atop their horse, impassively watching the comings and goings of the street.

Kohaku begrudgingly climbed up behind her in the saddle. Her eyes closed as his arm wrapped familiarly around her waist. The sudden flash of memories from the night before left her skin prickling and the hairs on her arms standing up on end. Perhaps he felt it too, because with a self-conscious gesture his arm fell away and he grabbed up the reins instead. With a soft cluck of his tongue and a gentle kick the beast sauntered down the road in the direction of the daimyo's residence.

The previous day Kohaku had explained the design of the daimyo's residences to her. Edo had many and they were large, often taking up entire city blocks. Behind the walls that separated a residence from the street, there existed a series of buildings where a daimyo and his entourage lived. The closer a residence was to the Emperor's palace, the more important that daimyo was to the Heavenly Ruler.

The  _kimiyashiki_ , the primary residence of the Uesugi clan, was not so close to the castle. They were outsiders,  _tozama_ ; all that remained of those who'd lost the Battle of Sekigahara. Outwardly, at least, the Uesugi clan expressed a reluctant loyalty to the Emperor but warrior clans were not cut out for playing politics. It was certain death to challenge His authority, but even that would not keep the fighting spirit of a samurai contained for long.

Kohaku suddenly drew their horse to a halt next to a large wooden gate. He gazed up at it long and hard then slid out of the saddle. He helped her down and his hands lingered about her waist even after her feet were firmly on the ground. The warmth of his touch burned through her clothes and ate at her resolve. She'd been certain she could do this until this very moment. A whisper of doubt crowded her thoughts and she reluctantly stepped out of his reach. Kohaku let her go and didn't reach for her again.

They turned in unison to inspect the gate towering over them. It rose up out of the street like a monolith, lending the narrow street a sense of foreboding and mystery. Kohaku led her through its daunting wooden arch and into the daimyo's garden.

The barren landscape featured no wildlife of any kind – no trees or shrubs, gardens or bit of green. There were plenty of soldiers. And guns. Her pace slowed and she sent Kohaku a nervous look. He attempted a reassuring glance; the result was divided between a pained grimace and a pitying frown.

"You there, what business do you have here?"

They turned and saw one of the guards step away from the entrance of the daimyo's residence. With his hand on the hilt of his blade he advanced towards them.

"Do not do this," Kohaku pleaded. "We will find another way."

Her eyes shifted between Kohaku and the steadily approaching guard. She shook her head and her mouth went dry. What did it matter now? With this last step his mission was complete, his village spared for another season. There was no  _other way_  and they both knew it.

"It is too late to go back now," she answered and hid her trembling hands in the folds of her kimono.

Kohaku looked as though he wanted to say something more, but the guard had arrived. He stopped a few feet away, eyeing them speculatively.

"I will not ask again,  _boy_. What business do you have here?"

Kohaku straightened and asked for an audience with the daimyo. The guard gave him a flat look and then retreated into the main building. He returned a short time later, accompanied by a portly man with eyes that were too large for his head.

"His lordship is not available. What business do you have with him?"

Rin disliked the man's haughty nature immensely. Many men like him had visited her brothel and all had considered themselves worthy of some special treatment. Most had turned out to be cheap and cruel.

"I am Kohaku of Komono-mura in Dewa province," she heard Kohaku reply. "I have come to humbly ask the favour of the lord and brought a gift as a show of my village's gratitude."

The man glanced around Kohaku's lithe frame and looked her up and down. He inspected her as one would a prize horse, his large eyes missing no fault or imperfection. Rin stood still and did her best to look unaffected by the fact that she was being sold once more.

"Your gift is acceptable," the man said with a perfunctory nod. "I will tell his lordship of your request."

He motioned to the guards with a wave of his hand and they closed in. One moment she was standing stiffly at the bottom of the stairs and the next she was being roughly dragged away. In a moment of panic she couldn't stop herself from calling out to him.

"Kohaku!"

Instinct made him reach for his blade and it was only by sheer force of will that he did not draw it. To do so in the daimyo's residence was an act of aggression punishable by death. His hand trembled with restraint and he clenched it into a tight fist at his side. Across the yard Rin was pulled towards a darkened door of the residence and he turned his face away, unable to watch her go.

"Will that be all?"

Kohaku met the probing eyes of the man before him and barely managed a nod.

"In that case, you may show yourself out."

The man pointed expectantly at the gate and Kohaku moved unsteadily towards it. His legs felt weak and his shoulders remained knotted from the effort it had taken to fight his protective instincts. Once he was through the gates the guards closed the heavy doors behind him and he was suddenly alone.

Every bone in his body told him to go back inside and explain that he'd made a mistake, but his foolish feet guided him to his horse and he pulled himself up into the saddle. In the end, he had nowhere left to go and so turned the beast in the direction of his village and ran.

xXx

Rin was deposited with little enthusiasm in what looked to be a tea room. It was small and perfectly square, with a tatami-matted floor. She considered the wall hangings and bowl of flowers that had been set out before dropping her gaze to the sleeve of her kimono. The sunflowers were obnoxiously bright and cheerful, a reflection of her mood when she'd chosen the fabric, and the sight of them suddenly made her angry. She felt like such a fool.

A sliding door opened at the other end of the room and an older woman bustled in. She was dressed in a long-sleeved, cream-hued kimono and walked with a business-like air about her. She didn't bother to introduce herself before she began barking orders.

"Stand up. Let me look at you."

Rin did as she was told and turned in a slow circle. The woman studied her with a cruel gaze and a firm set to her mouth. Eventually she nodded her head and folded her hands in front of her.

"Well, you're not the most unfortunate creature I've ever seen, but I still have a fair bit of work ahead of me. I will rejoice the day they realize you can't turn a dirty-kneed inaka brat into a lady with a smear of makeup and some new clothes."

Rin blinked at her assessment and decided in that moment that she hated this woman.

"Hurry up," she huffed, gesturing towards the door, "Don't waste my time."

Rin was led down an empty hall to another room. This one was larger than the first and the floor was wood. In the centre stood a large wooden tub, already filled to the brim with steaming water.

"Undress."

Begrudgingly, Rin untied the obi at her waist and made certain Kohaku's knife remained hidden in the folds. The kimono he'd bought slipped silently to the floor and she hurried to step into the water. It was too hot and instantly turned her skin red, but one glance at the old woman told her she wouldn't be allowed out.

From the other end of the room, two servants emerged bearing a pile of towels, assorted bathing necessities, and new clothes. They deposited the lot onto the floor next to her and attacked in unison.

The older of the pair took to her hair, vigorously scrubbing it with soap and combing out the knots. The other scrubbed at her hands and feet until the skin was red and sore. She bore it all in silence, having little desire to make herself appear weak by complaining or crying out.

With her best attempt at appearing cool and indifferent, she turned to the older woman whose sharp grey eyes were carefully evaluating the servants' progress.

"Are there many others like me in the palace?" she asked.

The woman's painted lips twisted into a sneer, "You aren't the first."

"When shall I meet his lordship?"

She barked out a harsh laugh, "Whenever he sees fit, you stupid girl."

The woman directed her next command to the servants who were still busily cleaning her from head to toe.

"Rinse her off and get her dressed. Oh, and get rid of that kimono. We don't need it stinking up the place."

"No!"

Rin surprised herself with her sudden outburst. She looked down to find both servants staring up at her with stunned expressions.

"I have been given to his lordship as a gift, not a slave. Those are my possessions and you will not touch them."

She was afraid of them finding her knife, her only true means of defending herself, but there was more to it than that. The silly, sentimental part of her wasn't yet ready to get rid of her last link to Kohaku. She knew she'd never see him again, but at least for now she needed that one last reminder of what freedom had felt like.

Scoffing at her audacity, the woman slowly walked up to her and slapped her sharply across the cheek.

"I don't care  _what_  you are. You belong to his lordship now and I have been entrusted to ensure you behave appropriately. You would be wise to remember that. Keep your stupid kimono for all I care. With an attitude like that, I promise you won't live long enough to miss it."

Turning heel she instructed the servants to make 'the inaka brat' presentable and then departed out the door. It snapped shut behind her and Rin plopped back down into the tub. The servants resumed their duties but were careful to avoid her gaze.

By the time the old woman returned, Rin had been primped, prodded and dressed in a formal kimono comprised of many layers. She wondered why they bothered with it at all if the daimyo was just going to rip it off of her the moment she was alone with him. It seemed like such a wasted effort.

The older woman circled her slowly while the servants stood by, waiting to hear her assessment. Her eyes lingered on Rin's face, scrutinizing the layers of white makeup they'd applied to hide her sun-darkened skin.

"This will have to do," she sighed, sounding less than impressed by what she saw. Rin bit her tongue and kept her eyes on the floor.

"His lordship has requested your presence. It seems he is bored this evening and in need of a distraction. Come along."

The woman exited into the hall with Rin following closely behind. She led her through a maze of bare hallways. There was no warmth in this place. Each hall and room looked the same, exactly as cold and austere as the one before it.

Before the only set of painted doors the woman suddenly stopped and knelt. At her insistence, Rin knelt next to her and studied the door's artwork. It featured a battle scene – two armies facing one another across a great river. What the artist lacked in talent he made up for with his use of colour. In a palace coloured in shades of white and brown, the gold, blue and red hues of the door stood out in stark contrast.

Next to her, the woman knocked softly before announcing her presence and opening the door.

"My lord, your guest is here as you requested. If you should need anything I will be right outside."

With a sharp look she motioned for Rin to go in. She bowed low at the door and then shuffled inside on her knees. The door snapped shut behind her and then it was silent. The room was dark, the only light cast off by a dim lantern in the far corner.

"What is your age?"

The voice came from one of the darker corners of the room and Rin bowed her head. "I am in my seventeenth year," she answered easily.

Most people merely guessed at their age, but the year she was born a great shooting star had torn across the sky. The rice harvest had suffered from drought the following year and many in her village had been convinced the star was a bad omen. As a result, she'd always had a fairly accurate account of exactly how old she was.

"Where did the boy find you?"

She considered her options. She could easily lie and tell him the name of her village, or one of the previous ones they'd travelled through. A part of her defiantly insisted on the truth. Perhaps if he knew her past, he would lose interest in her and set her free.

"At a brothel in Kyoto."

His silence was penetrating and Rin froze in expectation of his reaction.

"So I am to be offered used goods now?"

The carelessness of his comment bruised what was left of her pride. She decided that she hated this man too.

"Go. I have no interest in you tonight."

The words had barely left his lips before the sliding door opened and the old woman entered. Rin bowed low in the general direction of where the daimyo's voice had emanated from and then retreated out the door. She was led her through a maze of hallways to a new room. This one was smaller than the other and plain; there were no hanging pictures or painted vases with flowers. A hibachi sat at the room's centre emanating a faint bit of heat and a futon had been laid out next to it.

"You may sleep here," the old woman instructed and shoved her inside. "Don't get too comfortable. Chances are good you'll be dead by morning."

Rin turned to demand the reason why, but was met with the snap of the sliding door. She heard the old woman instruct a guard to keep watch outside and then there was only silence. Her heart was still thrumming in her ears when she finally turned away from the door.

A rogue tear escaped down her cheek and she quickly brushed it away. She would not feel sorry for herself. This had been her decision, after all, her choice in the end. It did no one any good to wallow in self-pity and she refused to take part in such a pointless practice. Her body, however, had other ideas in mind. Exhaustion, frustration and anger collided and stripped away her carefully built walls until she was sobbing into the sleeve of her yukata.

It didn't escape her notice that in this moment of weakness the only thing she wanted more than her freedom was Kohaku's arms around her and his voice in her ear telling her that everything would be fine.


	19. Chapter 19

The daimyo did not call for her again, but each morning the routine was the same. Onibaba-san - the hag with the cruel turn to her mouth - would arrive early with her two servants in tow and they would proceed to turn her from an "inaka brat" into something that resembled a lady. Onibaba-san wouldn't do any of the actual work, of course; she preferred to observe from afar, barking orders as they went.

Rin disliked the woman immensely. Her presence filled the room like a great suffocating cloud whenever she entered. The little nickname she'd created for her acted as a balm whenever the woman's snide comments about her low birth or impending demise became too much to bear. It was what allowed her to smile and bow her head obediently when all she wanted to do was scream.

"Has his lordship requested my presence today?" she inquired each morning with little genuine interest.

Onibaba-san's response was always the same. She would scoff and puff out her chest as though she were someone important and say, "His lordship has more pressing demands on his time than to bother with a used up whore."

Onibaba-san never minced words and Rin found her biting honesty to be a refreshing departure from the world she was used to; a place where few truths were heard amidst the lies and subtle exaggeration. Pulling in a slow, calming breath, she would absorb the insults thrown at her and forced her painted lips into a thin smile.

"Does his lordship have many others like me here?" she asked one day out of simple curiosity.

Onibaba-san's sharp gaze swept pointedly about the room. "Do you  _see_  any other girls around?"

She was the only one? Rin's smile faltered ever so slightly. She hid it behind her sleeve, feigning a yawn. She'd imagined that the daimyo had many women at his disposal and his reluctance to call on her was simply a matter of him choosing one of the others. It had never occurred to her that she was alone here, or that there was any truth behind the old woman's daily assurances that she would be killed the moment she was deemed unnecessary.

Her eyes lifted and met Onibaba-san's unwavering gaze. A cruel smile turned the corners of the woman's aging mouth. Her harsh words had had their desired effect and it pleased her. Unwilling to bend so easily, Rin straightened her shoulders and stared pointedly at the far wall while the girls completed their final adjustments to her hair and make-up.

When they had finished and were gone, Rin stood for a long moment dressed-up and painted in the costume of a courtier, and listened to the silence. When the moment passed, she let out a weighty exhale and knelt next to her futon. From beneath her pillow she retrieved a carefully folded pile of silk. Her hand caressed the rougher fabric, lingering over the face of a brightly-hued sunflower.

Not a day passed where she didn't think of him. Remembering the night they'd first met in Kyoto, she felt a fond smile tug at her mouth. She'd found his confidence and brazen attempts to become "friends" aggravating at first. During those early days she'd even plotted half a dozen ways to dispose of him in his sleep and make her escape. Only, he hadn't made it easy. Stubborn and determined he'd continued to tease her and entice her into conversation until one day she didn't mind the sound of his voice. And sometime after that she no longer minded the sight of him or the thought of travelling by his side.

If someone had told her that first night in Kyoto that she would come to love the boy lounging across from her she would have laughed long and hard. Even now it felt as though it were someone else's life, someone else's memories. Had those days actually passed? Had those adventures truly happened?

Tears stung at her eyes as she remembered their last night together. How long had it been since she'd felt his arms around her? With a soft touch, the kimono was carefully returned to the spot beneath her pillow and she sat back on her heels. Keeping one eye on the door, she retrieved Kohaku's knife from her obi and tested the blade against her skin. It was still as sharp as it was the day he'd given it to her.

She carefully returned it to the folds of her obi and prepared to leave. If her ultimate fate here was to be death, she had little to lose by attempting one last escape. If her many failed attempts to escape Kohaku had taught her anything, it was that she first needed to know her surroundings. She'd seen exactly three rooms and a winding network of hallways since she'd arrived. She would need to know much, much more before she attempted to leave for good. After all, she would only have one chance. Something told her that the daimyo wouldn't be as magnanimous as Kohaku had been if she was caught trying to leave.

Poking her head out the door to her room, she was surprised to find no guard stationed there. Seizing upon the opportunity, she quietly slid the shouji door shut behind her and then ducked down the nearest hall. She had no idea where to go, but an exit couldn't be far. Keeping an eye out for guards and Onibaba-san, Rin walked softly down the various hallways of the daimyo's residence. The building was larger than any she'd been in before and to her dismay, all the doors looked the same and every hall identical to the last. It was impossible to know which way to turn!

Spotting the shadow of a guard at the end of the hall, Rin quickly slid the door next to her open and slipped inside. What greeted her on the other side was a  _tsuboniwa_ , a small indoor garden. It was big enough to be surrounded by a walking path and she took a quick turn around the perimeter. At the garden's centre, surrounded by ishi-doro, nanten trees, moss and stones was a small pond filled with colourful carp.

The natural beauty of the space caught her by surprise. It didn't seem possible that a place as barren and unwelcoming as this should house such serenity and loveliness in its heart. Fascinated, she crouched down at the edge of the walkway to watch the fish swimming gracefully about. Carp were supposed to be good luck. Perhaps they would lend her their charm.

'I could use all the help I can get,' she muttered quietly to herself.

The atmosphere in the small space suddenly shifted and she looked up into a striking pair of golden eyes.

"You…" she whispered, struggling to find her voice.

He looked just as beautiful and imposing as he had the first time they'd crossed paths. As she slowly rose to her feet her eyes took in the rich silk of his kimono and the enviable silver hair cascading over his shoulder. She'd imagined him handsome in the dim light of the forest, but in daylight he was stunning – far more beautiful than any mortal man.

"What are you doing here?"

His head tilted at her question and one of his brows lifted in a minute gesture.

"I could ask the same of you."

Rin opened her mouth to respond, but the shouji door suddenly snapped open and a face she'd been dreading appeared on the other side. Onibaba-san barged in, her sharp features contorted with rage.

"What are you doing in here, stupid girl!"

Belatedly noticing that they were not alone, she paled and abruptly bowed to the man dressed in white.

"Sir, I am eternally sorry if she has inconvenienced you. I swear it will not happen again. I will ensure a guard is posted-"

"Enough."

At his command Onibaba-san abruptly went silent and obediently bowed her head.

"The girl will dine in my quarters tonight. I am certain his lordship won't mind."

Rin's eyes went wide at the sudden invitation and Kaoru hazarded a curious glance at her superior.

"Sir?"

"See to it that arrangements are made." His tone was stern and it bowed the old woman in half once more.

"As you wish," she answered softly.

"And Kaoru," he drawled, tilting his head in Rin's direction, "be certain she receives breakfast. I can hear her stomach growling from here."

Rin blushed and discretely rested a hand overtop her stomach. Embarrassed, she could do little more than mutter a quiet "Thank you" and bow deeply as he left. The moment he was gone, Onibaba-san rose to her full height and turned on her.

"Cross me again and I will deal with you myself. I don't care what  _he_  says," she hissed, baring her teeth.

"Come now, Kaoru," Rin tutted with an arched brow. "We both know how anger ages a woman. Someone your age can't afford to gain even a single day."

Kaoru's lips whitened and her eyes narrowed into dark, angry slits. Feeling like she finally had the upper hand, Rin confidently brushed past her and stood waiting in the hall.

"Now, how about that breakfast?"

oOo

At dusk a new servant that Rin hadn't seen before arrived at her door. She was then led wordlessly down a series of plain looking halls to an even plainer set of shouji doors. Rin followed the girl's lead and knelt at the threshold with her head bowed. While waiting for the doors to open, she chanced a glance at her companion and wondered what twist of fate had brought her to this place. Had she been sold to the daimyo's household as well?

Before she could consider the girl further, the doors before them slid open and she was ushered inside. The soft scrape of the doors closing behind her followed, and then there was silence.

When a respectable amount of time had passed she lifted her gaze to find a room brightly lit by tapers and warmly decorated with wall scrolls and seasonal flower arrangements. A faint scent of incense hung on the air and she found it a pleasant departure from her own room, which was barren, dark and unwelcoming.

The man in white was waiting for her at the table. Their eyes met and he greeted her with a small inclination of his head.

"Please, have a seat," he offered, gesturing to the empty seat across from his. "I hope the food is to your liking."

As she knelt at the table a servant appeared and poured plum wine into her cup. He waited until the servant had moved away before speaking again, his words measured and clear.

"Shall we make a toast?" he inquired, raising his glass.

Rin smiled faintly. "To old acquaintances?"

Her words seemed to amuse him. His face lightened and he nodded in agreement. "To old acquaintances."

Rin took a small sip from her cup and the wine's sweet, potent aroma filled her head.

"Given that we are old acquaintances, I suppose I should know your name," he mused. "What shall I call you?"

"Sakura."

The fake name flew out of her mouth before she could stop it and she suppressed the urge to flinch. She hadn't given any thought as to how she wanted to answer certain questions. Was it wise to lie to a man like this? She held her breath and watched his head nod politely. He was either too polite or too disinterested to care that she'd given a fake name. Exhaling a quiet sigh of relief, she picked up her cup of wine and took a long sip to soothe her nerves.

"May I know yours as well?"

"It is Sesshomaru," he replied with a rueful smile.

It had been some while since her time at the brothel, but she knew this game and knew it well. With the wine to ease her passage Rin settled back into the role of Sakura – ever pleasant, ever curious, and unfailingly flirtatious. It made it easier somehow, pretending they were two different people. When she was Sakura she could forget about her past - and about Kohaku.

"Ses-sho-ma-ru…" She drew out the syllables, testing each one in her mouth. "That's a dangerous name."

"It is. Before all of this," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand, "I was a samurai. My clan lived for the battlefield."

"And now?"

A wan smile touched his lips, "Now I am here."

"What does a samurai do when there are no battles to be fought, I wonder?"

He shrugged lightly and pulled a knee into his chest. "We find new ways to pass the time."

 _Is that why you were in the woods that day?_  The question stalled on her tongue and she glanced in the direction of the two servants waiting by the door for a purpose. Sesshomaru's gaze followed hers and his lips twitched in amusement. It was obvious she wanted to know the reason he'd been there that morning, so far from Edo. Even more than that, she wanted to know why he'd saved her.

But she couldn't ask either without giving him away and so she swallowed another mouthful of wine and felt her cheeks turn hot.

"What entertainment can you find in a place like this?" she wondered with a glance about the elegantly furnished room. A servant soundlessly appeared at her side and refilled her cup with slender hands.

"Personally, I enjoy renewing old acquaintances," he teased. "But if I am to be honest, my duties as Edo-garo leave little time for frivolities."

"Edo-garo?" She'd never heard the term before and tilted her head inquisitively.

"The person who manages the daimyo's household while he is away."

Rin nodded in understanding and asked, "Is his lordship not here then?"

She didn't see any point in telling him she'd met the daimyo already, or what she'd thought of him. Some glimmer of emotion must have shown on her face because Sesshomaru leaned forward, suddenly curious.

"Does the thought of meeting him frighten you?"

Rin took another long sip of wine and felt its warmth spread down her spine. She was getting drunk much faster than planned. Setting the cup aside, she focused her attention on a ripe persimmon sitting atop a bowl of fruit.

"Powerful men are meant to be feared, is it not so?"

She spoke her next words lightly, feigning a casualness she didn't feel. "What sort of man is he?"

"He is fair," Sesshomaru answered with a thoughtful nod. "He expects much of his men and they endeavour never to disappoint him."

"And of his women?"

He looked away and inspected the offerings on one of the plates near his hand. "I cannot answer to that."

She sighed and took a small bite of the persimmon in her hand. It was juicy and sweet but its flavour paled in comparison to the one Kohaku had given her. Setting thoughts of the demon slayer aside, she attempted to get the conversation back on track. She intended to learn all she could about the daimyo. Knowledge was power, after all, and she was tired of feeling powerless.

"When will his lordship return?"

"He is already here," Sesshomaru confirmed. "Each year around this time, all daimyo must report to Edo to pay homage to the Emperor."

"Is there much you must do to prepare?"

He shrugged indifferently and surveyed her with a thoughtful look.

"You were given to his lordship as an Oiran, were you not? Tell me, what is your talent?"

"I have no talents."

"Impossible," he objected with a kind smile. "I refuse to believe that. Everyone has something they do well."

After a long moment she blew out a quick sigh and answered, "I paint."

"What a rare talent. Oiran mostly sing or dance, but to find a painter is truly unique."

Rin shifted uncomfortably under his gaze and tasted a tart red berry from the bowl next to her plate.

"It is difficult to entertain with such a talent. I should think watching someone paint would be rather boring."

"I would like to watch you paint sometime."

He smiled invitingly and she lifted a curious brow before popping another berry into her mouth.

"The daimyo will not mind? I am meant for his entertainment, after all…"

Sesshomaru appeared confident as he took up his cup of wine. "I will speak with his lordship about finding an outlet for your talent. I am almost certain he will approve."

Rin felt a genuine smile touch her lips. How long had it been since she'd last picked up a brush? There was suddenly a small glimmer of light in the endless dark. If the daimyo allowed it, if she could paint again, perhaps her brief time in this place wouldn't be quite so unbearable as she thought.

"You look pleased."

She met Sesshomaru's golden-hued gaze and felt her heart skip a beat. Up close, he was nothing short of breathtaking – far too beautiful to be human. The daimyo's Edo-garo was a demon. She'd met his kind before in the brothel, though none compared to the man sitting across from her. She wondered if the daimyo knew.

At the sight of his smile she lowered her eyes in an appropriately demure gesture and reached for the decanter of wine that'd been left on the table.

"More wine?"


	20. Chapter 20

Morning light cascaded through the window, illuminating the blank canvas before her. Her brush hesitated and then made its first light stroke across the fusuma. As an aging cedar, gnarled but strong, began to take shape she felt a sense of peace settle over her. All that existed was her brush and the canvas; her vision and the paint.

A winding river with wildflowers lining its shores followed the cedar, then birds flying in pairs to unknown destinations. Each element held some personal meaning, and in their own way they were all reminders of him. Her brush mixed a shade of brown on her palette, the same colour as his eyes, and she added it to the trunk of the cedar. Even here, she couldn't escape the constant reminders of him.

Closing her eyes with a tired sigh, Rin set down her palette and sat back. The fusuma was nearly half done, its natural landscape adding life to the otherwise dreary hall. Perhaps she might eventually add in the mountains of her village, but was still undecided on that part. For now she was satisfied and hoped the daimyo would be as well. Sesshomaru had assured her that if the daimyo liked her first screen, she would be given freedom to paint every fusuma in the  _kamiyashiki_.

Though he made no sound, she knew the moment Sesshomaru had arrived. His presence changed the atmosphere of the small space, charged it like lightening until the hairs on her arms stood on end. She glanced back over her shoulder and found him there, as she knew he would be. His eyes lingered on her painting, and then fell to her.

"Hello, again," he greeted with a smile and a short bow.

"Hello."

"You have been busy this morning, I see."

"Has it been time well spent?"

He stepped closer to inspect her work and she nervously held her breath. Other than Kohaku, no one had ever taken the time to notice her paintings before, much less scrutinize them the way he was doing now. She doubted those sharp eyes of his missed much – they would find every flaw, every unfinished space. His gaze lingered on the birds in flight and then he stepped back to give her his full attention.

"You are more talented than I expected," he reassured her with a smile. "I am certain his lordship will be pleased."

She blushed and looked away, momentarily stunned speechless by his praise.

"These birds, are they swallows?" he asked with a lift of his brow.

She nodded. The birds were her private homage to a night in Kyoto when a boy she'd never met became the first to notice her paintings. The painting Kohaku had taken with him had featured swallows as well.

"I wish to show you something," Sesshomaru said and she noticed a secretive smile tugging at his lips.

Curious, she followed him down a series of halls and then out a hidden door which opened onto a narrow veranda. From there, he led her to a small private shrine hidden at the back of the residence.

"What is this place?" she asked, eyeing the small stone fox standing on guard at the shrine's entrance.

"It is the Uesugi family shrine. Here, look."

He moved aside and she followed his gaze to a small piece of polished granite carved with the Uesugi mon crest – two swallows in flight, wreathed in a bamboo circle. She stared at it a long while, then finally reached out to trace the slope of a bird's wings.

"It's beautiful," she breathed.

"Perhaps it is something more than unfortunate circumstances which brought you here," he suggested.

At his words, she lifted her fingers from the crest and slipped her hand into her sleeve.

"Perhaps," she answered noncommittally.

"If you are willing to take a break from painting, it would be good to have some company for breakfast," he offered.

Rin felt her head nod in agreement. Though the breath disappeared from her lungs every time his gaze lingered on her, he was the only person in this place to offer her the slightest bit of kindness. And if she were being honest, the way he spoke made her feel interesting and important. What reason did she have to say no?

When they reached the door to his quarters, he pulled the  _fusuma_  open and gestured for her to enter. There were no servants hovering this time, but an elaborate morning meal had been laid out on the table.

"How long have you been a painter?" he asked, while she poured tea into his cup.

"My whole life," she replied with a light shrug of her shoulders.

He was just being polite and she was being evasive, but she couldn't bring herself to share more just yet. Sesshomaru may be kind, but experience had shown her that kindness did not always equal good intentions.

His sudden interest in her was enough to make her pause. Surely an Edo-garo had more pressing demands on their time than entertaining the daimyo's newest whore. What was he after? Rin smiled, sending him a flirtatious look from beneath her lashes, and resolved to learn his true motives.

"Tell me, what sort of hobbies do former samurai have? Do they paint as well? Or perhaps practice  _ikebana_?"

Sesshomaru chuckled at her tease. "Samurai do not often have time for hobbies," he lamented. "But I hunt every now and then."

"Is that what you were doing in the woods that morning?"

He tilted his head curiously to the side, as though not entirely sure he understood the question. He took a measured sip of his tea and by the time he'd set the cup back on the table his pretence of confusion was gone.

"Ah, so you remember," he observed with an odd tone in his voice. It wasn't disappointment exactly, but… Her brow furrowed as she realized she was unable to place it.

"Yes, I suppose I was hunting that day," he finished with his eyes on his plate.

"You are a skilled hunter. You moved so qickly I could hardly see you at all…"

It didn't escape her notice that rather than comment, he chose that moment to begin eating. Clearly he was not interested in talking about what he had been doing there that day or what she had seen, but she wasn't about to let that deter her from getting answers. After all, she had so many questions. Why had he been in those woods so far from Edo? Why had he disappeared so abruptly, leaving her and Kohaku to the mercy of the wolves?

She realized that if she pressed too hard too soon, he might cut off their tentative friendship and then she would lose the one connection she'd made within this awful place. Deciding to momentarily put her questions on hold, she abruptly changed topics.

"Have you long been his lordship's Edo-garo?"

"Ages," he sighed. "To be honest, I would rather hear about how you came to be here."

Her expression clouded over. "I am afraid that is not a good topic for breakfast conversation."

"I assure you, nothing you say could be any worse than what I have heard from my men."

She doubted that, but could tell by the determined look in his eyes that he would not relent without an answer.

"Would you like the long version or the abridged version?" she wondered while lightly swirling the tea in her cup.

When he didn't answer, she took one last bite of her breakfast and then began telling him the abridged version of her story, leaving out any mention of Kohaku. Sesshomaru listened in silence as she spoke, never once interrupting her. His expression darkened as her story unfolded and by the time she was finished his mood had changed considerably.

He sat in stony silence, his eyes focused firmly on the table in front of him. Eventually he looked up, those stunning golden orbs meeting hers, and uttered a lethal promise that the bandits who had taken her would not survive the year. It was just words, but something in his eyes, a flash of murderous intent perhaps, made her believe him. She nodded in thanks, a faint smile of relief touching her lips.

Breakfast was over after that, but neither of them seemed to notice. They spoke a little more and then he was called away by his duties. Before he left he promised to return again to watch her paint and she nodded in agreement, doubting very much that he would actually do so.

A servant appeared at the door and showed her the way back to her canvas. She stood for a long while, studying her work. There was something missing, something not quite right about how it all came together. She took up her brush and swiped a stroke of grey paint across the sky. It was the beginnings of a mountain range – unwavering and unbreakable. It was exactly what she needed.

oOo

The village of Komono-mura was alive and bustling in the early morning light. Kohaku paid little heed to the bright sunshine or the children playing in the snow in the street. He stared sullenly at the stick in his hand that he'd managed to whittle into nothing recognizable. Irritated, he tossed it away and returned his new knife to its holder.

"Enough already!"

The voice belonged to his older sister, Sango. She looked cross as she sat down next to him.

"You've been moping around like this for weeks!"

"Sorry," he groused, turning away. He was in no mood for one of her lectures, no matter how well-intentioned.

"What happened in Edo?" she prodded, her tone softening. "You haven't been yourself since you got back."

He thought of Rin and the moments they'd shared together along the road from Kyoto. He remembered the way his throat had closed up at the sight of her in her new kimono, knowing that she had absolutely no idea how beautiful she was. And the night they'd joined as snow fell over Edo. But the memory that struck him most was the look of fear that'd been in her eyes as the guards had led her away. She'd called out to him, terrified, and he'd done nothing.

What began as an easy mission had wound up turning his world on its head. He was supposed to find a girl and give her to the daimyo, not fall in love with her. The regret and the guilt, the long nights he lay awake feeling sick at the thought of what the bastard might be doing to her - they were all penance for what he'd done. He'd earned every last one for leaving her there.

"I think I made a mistake…" he managed, keeping his eyes on the ground.

"Tell me what it is. I can help."

"You can't," he said with certainty. "I don't think anyone can. I don't even know if it  _can_  be fixed."

"You never know until you try…" Sango offered with a light touch to his shoulder.

He nodded and turned the thought over in his head. Was it even possible? He glanced down the row of houses, noting the sacks of rice sitting outside each one. The daimyo had kept his word. There was enough to get them through the winter and maybe even into spring. Rin's sacrifice had been worth something, just as she'd hoped, but he couldn't let it go on any longer.

With enough planning he could return to Edo and take her back. He'd buy her back if he had to. It wasn't his village's custom to charge money for demon slaying, but perhaps if he went to another province he could find enough customers…

As the plan began to form in his head his eyes lit up with determination. It wouldn't be easy, but any sacrifice would be worth it for the chance to spend his life with her. Even as young as he was, he knew that feelings this strong were something worth fighting for.

Inspired, Kohaku jumped to his feet and hopped down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Sango demanded, looking bewildered by his sudden burst of energy.

He grinned back at her over his shoulder which only seemed to confuse her more.

"I'm going to hunt! Don't wait up!" he called to her with a wave.

Sango stood with her hands on her hips and slowly shook her head. Kohaku felt a laugh bubble up in his chest at the sight of her and then headed for the stables. His feet travelled three paces before they began to pick up speed. He'd swear he never ran so fast in his life and even then it didn't feel quite fast enough.


	21. Chapter 21

The daimyo's private gardens were dusted in a fine layer of new fallen snow. Rin stood atop the small red bridge connecting the two halves of the garden and watched the ice cold stream rush by beneath her feet. Remembering the day she'd arrived at the  _kamiyashiki_ , she recalled how barren and unwelcoming the landscape had appeared to her then. She'd seen no flowering shrubs, no greenery of any kind, only men and weapons.

Her eyes took in the serene view around her and she felt a place somewhere deep inside of her give way and relax. The garden was designed so that in every season it would be a marvel. In winter it was a white wonderland; in spring the paths would be carpeted in sakura petals; in summer the broad trees would provide a shady oasis from the oppressive heat; and in autumn the changing leaves would make the trees look as though they were aflame. It was a spectacular thing to behold and she felt lucky to be counted among the rare few who were permitted to enjoy its beauty.

Sesshomaru had told her some days ago that she was free to explore the daimyo's private garden at her leisure. She was hesitant at first, but he'd assured her the daimyo had given his permission and even led her to it himself. She stayed for hours that first day, until the cold seeped into her very bones. Sesshomaru did not look happy to find her shivering when he returned for her. Even numb with cold, she was reluctant to leave to warm up until he promised she could return the next day. After that, visiting the garden had become a daily ritual. In this place there were no demands on her, no threats, no violence. It was rare to find a place that made you feel so utterly at peace, but that's what this place was for her.

There were other benefits as well. The longer she spent in the garden, the better she felt she understood the daimyo. What she'd seen on her first day at the  _kamiyashiki_  was the face he showed the world – hard, unwelcoming, minimalistic and unyielding. But there was another side of him, too. There was the side of him that enjoyed art and had permitted her to paint fusuma after fusuma. There was the side of him that enjoyed natural beauty and had constructed the  _tsuboniwa_  and this place. It was difficult to reconcile what she knew, or thought she knew, with the man she'd met on her first day here. Could they possibly be the same?

With each passing day she found herself growing ever more curious about the daimyo. Another meeting would tell her more about him in a minute than this roundabout question game she played with herself, but he had no interest in seeing her. It seemed strange that he allowed her to paint, gave her free access to his private gardens, fed and clothed her as any proper courtier should be fed and clothed, but made no move to speak to her face to face. It left her thoroughly confused.

Sesshomaru's normally silent footfall was betrayed by the snow beneath his feet. He joined her on the bridge and draped a fur trimmed  _michiyuki_ over her shoulders. The white fur was soft against her neck and she fastened the garment closed with chilled fingers.

"It is a cold day for admiring gardens," he observed, taking up the spot next to her.

She smiled and tucked her hands into her sleeves to keep them warm.

"I like how the snow makes everything look new. You could see the same garden a thousand times, memorize every feature and flaw, and then with a single snowfall it becomes foreign again and in need of exploration."

Sesshomaru stared out over the garden, his eyes searching the snow laden treetops and the nearly hidden paths. A reluctant smile touched his lips.

"I believe you may be right. Shall we explore it together?"

Rin nodded and walked next to him across the bridge to the path on the other side. It led into a small grove dotted with twisted black pine and carefully pruned yew, and then further on. The garden itself was more extensive than she could have imagined. She wondered how often the man himself took the time to enjoy its beauty. She asked Sesshomaru, who responded with an indifferent sort of shrug.

"Not often enough. Unfortunately his lordship has many pressing demands on his time. He is not left with many opportunities for leisure."

"Then this garden sits unappreciated year-round?" she wondered with a note of disappointment.

"Not anymore," Sesshomaru answered with a teasing smile.

They walked beneath an arch of what would be blooming sakura in spring. Sesshomaru's head nearly touched the top of the arch while hers barely reached his shoulder.

"Do you think I will ever meet him again?" she asked while making her way across the large stepping stones that led to the other side of the garden's frozen pond.

"I am certain of it."

"I wonder sometimes if you're not his spy," she said once he'd joined her on the other side of the pond. "You always seem to know exactly what he is thinking."

"It is my duty to anticipate his lordship's wants and needs," he reminded her with a smile.

"And how is it you always know exactly where to find me?"

"You are not so difficult to find as you might think."

"Perhaps not," she conceded, "but I still think you may be a spy."

"And what is the punishment for such a crime, I wonder?"

"Death."

"Death?!"

Her answer had caught him off guard and she couldn't help but grin at the look on his face. Whatever light and possibly flirtatious response he'd expected from her, she'd dashed it to pieces completely.

"What punishment would you recommend if death is too harsh?" she wondered.

"The punishment should fit the crime. Death seems an extreme way to punish a person's curiosity."

"Is he curious about me then? The daimyo, I mean."

"Would it be so bad if he were to be a little curious about you?"

It was Rin's turn to shrug. Perhaps Sesshomaru was his spy after all, sent out to collect what information he could about her before reporting back.

"If his lordship has questions about me, why not ask them himself?"

"Ah, but people are rarely honest when you ask them directly. They fear being laid out completely and so always cloak some detail or hide some little part of themselves."

"Do you?"

"When it is necessary."

She mulled that over while blowing warm air into her hands. What other secrets was he keeping from her besides the fact he was a demon? Had he given her a fake name as well perhaps? She covertly stole a glance and reasoned it was impossible. Sesshomaru suited him too perfectly to belong to any other.

"What have you told his lordship about me?"

"About your skill with a paintbrush, your intelligence, and of your interest in natural landscapes… I may also have mentioned your beauty. He was quite intrigued by the latter."

She answered him with a sly smile and he drew to a stop next to a stone bench.

"There is one detail his lordship wishes to know."

"I have nothing left to hide," she confessed with a lift of her shoulders. "All of my secrets are already exposed. I am like an open book, ready and waiting for anyone to read."

"You have at least one secret left to tell."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"Your name."

Rin stopped short, all flirtation quickly fading.

"A name is earned, along with trust. Forgive my saying so, but the daimyo has earned neither from me."

Sesshomaru bowed his head in understanding. She instantly regretted her words, but there was no way to take them back now. If Sesshomaru betrayed her to the daimyo, at least she'd finally learn something real about him.

"What about the lowly Edo-garo? Has he earned your name?"

She considered this for a long while, weighing her options. If she wanted to know more about him, she would have to give more in return. She'd have to give trust to gain his and at the moment he was her closest link to the daimyo. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and watched the air puff up in small white clouds around her head.

"Rin."

"Rin?"

"My name," she clarified, "is Rin."

He repeated it and looked her in the eye as if assessing whether it fit. She liked the way it sounded on his lips, the rich timbre of his voice caressed the syllable of her name making it sound elegant, even beautiful.

"It suits you," he said finally, nodding at his assessment. "Though I feel guilty now for having stolen one of your most carefully guarded secrets. Shall I give you one in return?"

"It only seems fair," she replied, arching a brow in challenge.

He smiled at the invitation and took a step closer. He was much taller than she'd thought before. Standing this close she practically felt like a child. His fingers gently caressed the underside of her jaw, tilting her face up towards his. With little warning, his perfectly formed lips descended and pressed warmly against hers.

For that moment she didn't dare breathe. The kiss was brief but with it everything changed. He pulled away slowly, his eyes searching hers, and she felt the butterflies flutter about in her stomach. Wearing the hint of a smile on his lips, Sesshomaru departed with a short bow and returned in the direction of the  _kamiyashiki_.

Her fingers touched her lips as she watched him go. What had just happened? Was he testing her? Toying with her? She slowly lowered herself onto the bench and ran through the various possibilities in her mind. It was hours before she returned to her room, but even then she was no closer to reaching an answer.

oOo

Kohaku gazed up at the towering gate of the daimyo's residence and unconsciously touched the reassuringly heavy bag of coins hidden inside his jacket. He'd spend the past several weeks focused on a single goal – Rin, and earning the money he needed to purchase her freedom once more. That goal had taken him from Dewa Province to Mutsu and down through Shimotsuke back to Edo. Hell, he'd even earned himself a few new battle scars he'd have to explain at some point later too.

Battling several dozen demons to the death was what it had taken to earn enough coin, or at least what he hoped was enough, and now came the hard part – negotiating with the daimyo for Rin's release. He wasn't lucky enough to have been born with a silver tongue in his mouth. His form of negotiation typically involved some form of weapon and a significant amount of bloodshed. But in this instance, words were the only weapons he had.

He'd been considering what he would say for some time, debating which angle was best. Should he appeal to the man's sympathy or his greed? He'd hoped to learn something about the daimyo that could provide a bit of leverage, but few in the area had actually seen or met the man, leaving him with not much to go on.

Taking his chances, Kohaku stepped across the threshold and approached the nearest guard to request an audience with the daimyo. The guard gave him the same abrupt, arrogant response as the first time and told him to wait. As he did, he took the opportunity to scan the yard. He didn't truly expect to see Rin wandering about but found himself looking for her anyway.

It'd become a habit of his, something that had developed after he left Edo. He'd first caught himself doing it while on the road. In every village, every town, every roadside inn where he stopped, his eyes would scan the other faces in search of her. As though she would miraculously be there, free of the daimyo's hold and safe. Sometimes he even imagined he did see her through the crowd, but then he'd blink or they'd turn and his eyes would see a stranger instead. At first he'd chalked it up to his protective response towards her taking longer than normal to fade away, but he knew better now.

The guard returned sooner than expected.

"His lordship has granted your audience. Follow me."

Kohaku's brows lifted in surprise. He'd expected more resistance, or an outright denial, but this seemed almost too easy. He followed the guard inside the  _kamiyashiki_ , all the while wondering what the man had possibly told the daimyo to make him grant his request.

He was led him through a series of hallways that all looked remarkably similar. The place was practically a maze. One hall they travelled down was different from the others. At the end stood a pair of fusuma that had been painted in black ink with a scene of two travellers making their way along a mountain path. Watching them from the rocky crags above was a lone wolf.

Kohaku stopped in his tracks and stared at the scene that told their story. He did not have to ask who the artist was. He knew with a single glance that it was her. Only one could capture an image the way she did. He reached out to touch the screen but was stopped by an abrupt cough from the guard.

"This way," he ordered and Kohaku reluctantly followed, leaving the fusuma behind.

It was down the next hall that they finally reached the daimyo's chamber where he received guests. The door was richly painted with a battle scene and Kohaku knew with a single glance that Rin had not been the one to paint it. He smiled inwardly at that, strangely satisfied that the daimyo did not yet have that privilege.

The fusuma slid open and Kohaku was ushered inside. He knelt in front of where the daimyo sat and tried to steal a glance but the man's face was hidden from view by a screen.

"What request do you wish to make of his lordship?"

The question came from the stout man that had arranged Rin's transaction the first time they had come to this place. Kohaku wondered if the man recognized him. Judging by the indifferent way in which he looked down his nose at him, he guessed not.

"I have a business proposal for his lordship."

The servant exchanged a quick glance with the daimyo and then nodded for him to continue. Kohaku retrieved the bag of coins from his jacket and set it on the floor in front of him.

"I wish to exchange these funds for the Oiran which was recently gifted to his lordship."

"What a fickle boy you are."

Kohaku lifted his head, surprised that the daimyo had chosen to address him directly. Not sure what else to do, he settled on putting his head back down and keeping his mouth shut.

"You could purchase several women to warm your bed at night with the coin in that bag," the daimyo shrewdly pointed out.

Kohaku nodded, uncertain of where this line of questioning was headed.

"I am not interested in a bed warmer. I am only interested in her."

The daimyo grunted though it was impossible to know whether it was in approval or disgust. Kohaku could feel his eyes on him, boring into his bowed head like twin drills.

"Your friend has established herself well here since you left. You might have noticed her paintings in the hall?"

"Yes… I noticed them."

"It is difficult to find such a talented artist, even in Edo. Would you have me give that up as well?"

Kohaku remained quiet a moment as his brain tried to sort out whether he was being baited or not. What was the right thing to say? He'd never wished harder for a gifted tongue than he did right now.

"I am certain she would be happy to continue to paint for you. You need not give up anything, my lord."

"Ah, so you speak for her?"

Kohaku felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment and wanted to beat his head against the floor.

"No… That's not what I-"

"Do you know what she wants? What she desires?"

"I would hope that I do…"

"Let us be clear, boy. What we are discussing here are  _your_  hopes and desires. If you truly cared about hers, your first question to me would have been whether she was happy here."

Kohaku bowed his head deeper until it nearly touched the floor. The daimyo was talking circles around him while he knelt there looking like a foolish, stuttering idiot.

"Is she happy here?" he asked with resignation in his voice.

The daimyo ignored his question and posed one of his own.

"Why do you wish to have her back?"

Kohaku rose up a little but kept his eyes on the tatami mat beneath his knees. He'd never in a hundred years imagined that the first person he would confess his feelings aloud to would be the daimyo.

"I love her."

He'd loved her from the moment he first laid eyes on her painting. That feeling had only grown stronger as they travelled together. Each time she got angry with him, each time she helped him or tried to escape he felt it grow until it became something he couldn't fight or ignore any longer. He'd tried, the gods knew how hard he'd tried, but in the end his heart simply refused to forget her. She was meant to be his. They were meant to grow old together in some mountain hut as a family, living out their days peacefully. Working together, laughing together…

"Your request is denied."

Kohaku's head jerked up sharply.  _Denied?!_

"Young boys are liable to fall in love with any girl that crosses their path. She is an intriguing creature, I will give you that, but rest assured you will find another. Besides, I am not through with enjoying her many  _talents_  just yet."

_Breathe, just breathe._

Kohaku repeated this mantra to himself over and over, forcing his mind to focus on the intake of air into his lungs rather than the murderous thoughts running through it. He wanted to gut the bastard and flay him alive. He wanted to cut off his head and shove it up his back end. He wanted to remove his manhood and toss it into a fire to burn while he watched. The list was endless but before he could do any of those things he would be dead and this all would have been for nothing.

Taking one last deep breath, Kohaku unclenched his hands and placed them on the floor in front of him. He bowed deeply to the daimyo before retrieving his bag of coins and placing them once more inside his jacket.

"I humbly thank you for hearing my request," he managed to say with as little vitriol as possible and then bowed once more before retreating.

The guard led him back to the courtyard down a different set of hallways than before. These were all plain, all identical in their blandness. This route was much shorter than the first and they were outside under the bright sunlight in seconds. It was then that Kohaku realized the daimyo had arranged for him to be taken on the first roundabout route to his chamber. He'd wanted him to see evidence of Rin's work, to let him know that here she was free to explore her creativity and her art. The answer had been "No" before he'd even stepped foot in the room.

Had he hated the man any less, Kohaku would have admitted that the daimyo had played an excellent hand. Such a tactician would be a fearsome thing to behold on any battlefield. He glared over his shoulder at the daimyo's residence, feeling the rage and jealousy burn through his blood like oil. He hadn't come all this way just to give up now. There was another way to get to Rin. He just had to find it.


	22. Chapter 22

The izakaya was overcrowded and filled with noise. Kohaku barely looked up from his cup as the door slid open and another boisterous group of soldiers stumbled inside. It was exactly the sort of place he needed to be tonight – somewhere he could blend in, get drunk, and dwell on more than a few unsettling regrets.

The daimyo’s words from earlier kept circling through his mind, adding bite to every sip of sake that crossed his lips. _If you truly cared for her, your first question to me would have been whether she was happy._ Could she truly be happy there? All this time he’d assumed the worst, but perhaps her life there was not as horrible as he’d imagined. Perhaps she spent her days painting and being dressed in fine clothes. Perhaps she had forgotten about him long ago.

His hand trembled slightly as he poured the last of the sake into his saucer. What did he truly know about Rin’s needs and wants? More than anything she wanted to be reunited with her family and return home, neither of which he could offer. If he went to her now and asked her to come with him, would she follow? A month ago he would have known the answer with every bone in his body, but now…  

A slight, overworked waitress deposited a bowl of grilled eel over rice on his table. He looked up long enough to ask her for more sake. She sent a troubled glance toward the two empty bottles sitting in front of him. With a sigh he tossed an extra handful of coins onto the table to silence her conscience and turned his attention to his meal.  

The eel was fresh and the rice warmed his stomach. He chewed thoughtfully as his eyes panned the small establishment. Nearly every table was filled with travellers or soldiers of some kind. The table next to his was filled with the latter. They laughed loud and long, traded insults with one another and demanded toast after toast. Kohaku wrote them off as nothing more than a nuisance until a few choice words reached his ears.

“Did you hear they’ve got a demon?”

The others at the table guffawed and demanded to know how much their friend had drank.

“It’s true,” the first one insisted. “And from what I hear the Shogun ain’t too happy about it either.”

“What’s he gonna do?” his friends asked, eagerly leaning forward.

“Get rid of it, of course. Can’t give a demon power like that. It just isn’t right.”

“I’d like to be there for that!”

The table erupted into a chorus of excited cheers and boasts of prowess on the battlefield. Once they had quieted down again, one of them asked:

“When’s this all gonna happen anyway? Soon?”

His comrade nodded. “Real soon.”

Another excited round of cheers erupted and Kohaku turned away. A demon with power in Edo? His curiosity was piqued. He’d never met a demon with any sort of intelligence before. They were all brawn and no brains, as he liked to put it. The prospect of battling a demon of that calibre was almost too good to pass up.

 He listened in on the next table’s conversation while slowly sipping at his third bottle of sake. It was mostly idle chatter with a touch of the grandiose tossed in every now and then, nothing that offered him any clues. As the table’s occupants succumbed to their drunken stupor one by one, Kohaku gave up hope of gaining anything more from them. 

He stood to leave, swaying every so slightly on his feet. With a hand braced against the table he steadied himself, but his face felt hot. The sake had hit him harder than he thought it would. Looking down at his blurred hands, he clenched them into loose fists. They felt less inclined to kill than they had an hour ago, so maybe he’d drunk just enough.  

Moving with as much coordination as he could muster, he stumbled out of the izakaya. The sky had taken on the grey cast of predawn and the biting wind nipped at his ears and cheeks. As he walked with his hands tucked under his arms, he remembered a night not unlike this one. A night when he’d strolled down one of Edo’s streets with her, like a real couple would, before returning with her to their room at the inn. He wanted another night like that with her; he wanted a lifetime of them.

It wasn’t until he was standing next to the high walls of the daimyo’s residence that Kohaku realized where his feet had led him. He gazed up the white expanse and touched his hand to the sickle at his waist. He was just drunk and reckless enough to try it. It wouldn’t be hard to scale a wall that size and once inside…

‘ _Once inside, what then?’_ he asked himself. _Open every door until you find which room is hers? Ask every servant who crosses your path if they know where the daimyo’s Oiran is housed?_

His hand reluctantly fell from his sickle and tightened into a fist. He’d need to devise a real strategy if he was to have any hope of reaching Rin without anyone noticing. Based on the reception he’d received last time, he didn’t imagine the daimyo would be all that magnanimous if he were caught snooping about.

The sound of retching drew his attention to the end of the street. A soldier, perhaps one of the many who’d crowded into the izakaya, had propped an arm against the wall of the daimyo’s residence and was in the process of emptying the contents of his stomach all over his boots. Kohaku winced and felt his own turn in sympathy.

When he was finished, the soldier stumbled towards him with an uneasy gait.

“Admiring the view?” he asked with a mirthless chuckle. “Better take it in while you can.”

His arm shot out, stopping the soldier in his tracks. “What do you mean?”

The man wavered unsteadily on his feet and exhaled a heavy breath that stank of bile. “The Shogun’s planning to attack the place. Didn’t you hear? They’ve got a _demon_ lurking inside.”

At _demon_ the drunk cracked up into a loud, cackling laugh. Kohaku’s brows lifted in surprise and he lowered his arm. _A demon? Here?_ He turned his attention back to the wall while the soldier carried on down the street, still howling at the idea of a demon living in a daimyo’s household.  

Kohaku sobered up instantly. He’d never imagined the demon would be _here._ His stomach turned at the thought of what a demon might have done to Rin in his absence. They were vicious, ruthless and completely unmerciful. He’d seen the results of a demon’s lust, they were the kind that were permanent and disfiguring if the victim survived at all.

His hands were shaking as he pushed them through his dark hair. He willed himself to calm down and think rationally. Even if it weren’t true about the demon, it was clear the Shogun had every intention of attacking this place and who knew what might happen to Rin in the chaos.

He gazed once more at the towering white wall that surrounded the daimyo’s residence and felt his resolve harden. Fate had made the decision for him, it seemed. He would find Rin before the Shogun’s forces attacked and take her away from this place. The rest they could figure out in the aftermath, once she was safe.

Silencing the ever-present doubts that lingered about how she would respond to seeing him again, Kohaku pulled the sickle from his belt and swung it up over the top of the wall. 

oOo

The shoji rattled in its frame and then closed again. She waited, listening to the soft rustle of silk as he moved from the door to his place on the floor and knelt.

 _Patience,_ she counselled herself, taking a breath.

Sado required patience. It was the art of balance, a ritual of choreographed, perfect movements. It demanded that one be fully present in the moment, with all five senses devoted to the art of making tea. The feeling of her heart in her throat told her she was more than present in the moment, but it was a struggle to direct the rest of her senses to focus on anything but him.

Her eyes wandered about the dimly lit tea room.  It was a small space, only six tatami in size. At its centre lay the hearth where the tea master would prepare their tea. Regrettably, from this distance she could not feel the warmth of the burning coals on her chilled skin. To her left was a small alcove and she was surprised to see one of her own painted scrolls hanging on its wall.

It was a simple black ink scene of swallows in flight, her homage to the Uesugi mon-crest Sesshomaru had shown her in the gardens. She had given it to him weeks ago as a token of gratitude for his friendship. She never imagined he would put it on display in this way. She was tempted to say something to him, but at that moment the tea master entered and effectively put a halt to any conversation.

The tea master was an older woman with streaks of grey cutting through her dark hair. Rin admired her kimono as she shuffled into the room. The garment was crafted of silk the colour of the sky at twilight, and the obi was the same cool blue as the full moon. She knelt next to the hearth and greeted them with a deep bow.   

As the tea master unpacked her tools one by one, Rin shifted her gaze to Sesshomaru in the hopes of catching a glimpse of his features in the early morning light. He looked serious, more serious than she could remember seeing him. She waited, hoping he would look her way. When he didn’t, she looked away disappointed.

Hours earlier, while the moon was still high in the sky, two servants had awoken her saying that Sesshomaru requested her presence in the tea room. While she was still half asleep they poked and prodded her until she was deemed presentable and then she was deposited in this room and told to wait.

It crossed her mind that perhaps he’d chosen this setting because within the tea ceremony there was no room for idle conversation, no window for questions or lulls where one might demand answers. Yesterday he kissed her and today he felt like a stranger seated next to her. What had happened in the course of a day to change him this much?

The tea master set a bowl of steaming tea in front of the Edo-garo and he took it up with both hands. There was a sense of formality in his movements as he turned the cup twice and then brought it to his lips. She tried not to stare, but found herself watching his throat move as he swallowed and his hands as he turned the cup once more. Those hands that could kill with a movement so quick it was indiscernible to the human eye held the relic between them so carefully that she was certain he’d never dropped a cup in his life.

Soon the bowl was in front of her and the tea master was explaining the _chawan’s_ origin, and how it was hand crafted by Master Nomomura. His name was spoken with the sort of reverence that implied she should be aware of who he was. She bowed and attempted to look suitably impressed before tasting the bowl’s contents. The tea was bitter and thick in her mouth. She swallowed it down but the aftertaste was no better. Wearing a polite smile, she finished the rest and then set the empty _chawan_ in front of their host.  

They watched in silence as the tea master went through the ritual cleansing of the _chawan_ and each tool she had used to prepare their tea. Then, with a nod from Sesshomaru, she excused herself and they were alone. By this time, the grey light of dawn had begun to seep through the windows, erasing the shadows from the corners of the room. In this light he looked the same as he had on the first morning they’d met, standing on opposite sides of a rushing river.

“We are alone here,” he said softly as though to reassure her. It seemed an odd thing to say. Hadn’t they always been alone when they were together?

With a soft rustle of silk he stood at the open window, impervious to the chilled morning air, and watched the sky grow steadily lighter. She moved to join him, standing as close as she dared. His body turned ever so slightly towards her and though his arms remained at his sides it was as though he’d wrapped them around her and pulled her into him. She felt at once warmed and comforted.

“Did you enjoy the tea?”

Not wanting to lie to him, she deflected by posing a question of her own.

“Are tea ceremonies always so early?”

A faint smile lifted a corner of his mouth. “No, the _akatsuki no chaji_ , the dawn tea ceremony, is special. Only here do you truly feel the passage of time. It happens so gradually that you do not notice it at first, and then suddenly, as though all at once, the shadows are gone, the room looks different from before, and you know that a new day has begun.”

The back of his hand ghosted across her cheek and his eyes held hers.

“The _akatsuki no chaji_  teaches us how to mourn the loss of the old while appreciating the beauty of what is new.”

His words were like poetry, but the message behind them left her torn. She turned her face towards the garden and breathed a soft sigh. He asked the impossible of her. Her heart would never forget Kohaku. With patience and determination he’d carved out a permanent home there. Whatever she felt for Sesshomaru, it would never change what she felt and would always feel for the demon slayer.

“There is something I would like to give you.”

She looked back as he pressed a small bundle of silk into her palm. He waited patiently for her to open it and she carefully lifted the silk away. Inside was a simple wooden comb with teeth that had been worn smooth by years of use. Along the face were small but perfectly carved sakura, each one unique and as sharp as the first day they had been crafted.  

“It is beautiful,” she breathed, knowing that the word was wholly inadequate to describe the object in her hand.

“Many years ago, it belonged to my mother.”

Rin looked up, startled. “I-I cannot possibly accept such a gift.”

“You already have,” he replied with a faint smile.

Before she could respond, he pushed open the sliding door that led to the veranda. He stepped out into the cold morning air and braced his hands against the wooden railing. The sun had yet to break through the grey clouds hanging over Edo. Even with the scent of hearth fires being re-lit in the air, the city remained asleep.

After re-wrapping the comb and tucking it carefully inside her kimono, Rin followed him out on to the veranda. She took up residence next to him and wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the chilled morning air.

“I fear that after today, many things will change.”

A sense of foreboding coloured his tone and she studied him more closely in the grey morning light. There was weariness behind his eyes that implied he had not experienced a sound night of sleep in weeks. Her hand reached out and touched his arm.

“What is it?”

His eyes lingered on the place where her fingers tightened around his arm, offering him comfort and support.

“There are times when I wonder… Would you touch me so if you knew the truth?”

His mouth hardened into a thin line and his eyes reluctantly met hers. “I am not what you think I am.”

The breath escaped her lungs in a shaky exhale, “I know what you are. I have since that morning we first met in the woods. No _human_ moves that quickly.”

The sudden vulnerability in his gaze made her mask temporarily fall away. It made no difference to her what he was -- human or demon, he was her friend and that was all that mattered in this place.

“It truly does not matter to you, does it?” He breathed out the words, sounding almost awestruck as his fingers stroked the soft underside of her jaw.

She shook her head and leaned ever so slightly into his touch.

“It is because of what you are that I am alive. I would sooner hate myself than hate you.”

A wan smiled ghosted across his lips and he pressed them against the chilled skin of her hand. The heat of his touch spread up her arm in a sudden rush that sent goose bumps rippling across her flesh. She gasped at the sensation and when his arm encircled her she found she could breathe no more.

His lips pressed against hers, soft and inviting. Their first kiss had been no accident, she realized, merely the cracking open of a door that had since been flung wide. Whatever riddles crossed his lips, his kiss told her everything she needed to know about the nature of his heart. It was good, and so was the man holding her close on this cold winter morning.

She shivered and Sesshomaru’s larger hand wrapped around hers, pulling it against his chest to protect it from the chilled air. She gasped as his lips moved over hers, and moaned softly when his tongue began to gently explore her mouth.

“Sesshomaru…”

She managed a breath and with it came his name. He pulled back, just enough to catch his breath. It was difficult to form words; even more difficult was to form them into something intelligible and coherent.

“We should stop…”

He nodded in agreement but his lips found her neck anyhow and wasted no time lavishing it with attention. Her eyes fluttered closed and for just a moment she allowed herself to be swept away by the feel of him – his warmth, his power, his presence… But what she felt no longer mattered and it hadn’t since that grey morning when she’d first come here.

“I am _his_ ,” she pleaded and felt her eyes moisten with tears. He had been a friend to her when she hadn’t a friend in the world. He deserved more than the dishonour and shame that would be brought upon him if they went any further down this path.  

She felt his exhale as much as heard it. His eyes were heavy when they met hers and she knew with a single glance where this encounter might have gone.

“You are right,” he admitted with reluctant defeat. “Please forgive me.”

“I would not see you punished because of me.”

He looked as though he might kiss her again, but turned his attention to the garden instead. Her hand remained in his, held pressed against the warmth of his chest.

“There is so much you do not know…” he said softly, speaking more to himself than to her.

“Tell me.”

For a moment he looked as though he might and then his eyes narrowed at the garden beyond. They swept the perimeter, studying every bush and tree. Rin followed his gaze but could not see anything out of place. Beneath her hand, she felt the muscles of his chest stiffen and then his attention was back on her.

“I must go,” he said with an apologetic smile. “Duty calls.”

She nodded in understanding.

“We will continue this conversation later,” he promised, then kissed her softly on the brow before departing.

She waited until the shoji door had drawn shut behind him before letting out the breath she’d been holding. Her lips still burned from his kiss, in fact her whole body felt warm with it, yet deep inside she felt the unsettling ache of loneliness. A warm tear dripped from her cheek onto the back of her hand. She stared at it for a long moment and then slowly wiped it away.


	23. Chapter 23

In the short time they’d been in the tea room, the house had come to life. Servants were up and moving about with purpose, lighting fires, airing out futons, and preparing the morning meal. Rin found Kaoru in the kitchen, barking orders at nervous looking servants. The woman gave her a sharp look and a sneer curled her lips.

“Well, look who has chosen to grace us with her presence.”

Rin arched a contentious brow. When she’d first arrived in this place Kaoru had terrified her, but not anymore. She saw her now for exactly what she was – shallow, bitter and terrified of no longer being needed. Kaoru craved importance and Rin had every intention of giving her exactly what she wanted.  

“I need to speak with you,” she said simply. “Privately.”

Kaoru sniffed and gave a few last orders to the congregation of waiting servants before waving her out into the hall. Rin followed and was led to a small room. The walls and floors were bare but the scent of sandalwood incense clung to the air. Rin turned as Kaoru slid the door closed behind her.   

“Well, girl? Out with it. I haven’t got all day.”

Rin took a breath and counselled her features. “You are the eyes and ears of this place,” she pointed out. “Nothing goes on here without you knowing about it.”

Kaoru crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Go on.”

“I don’t have the luxury of your freedom, Kaoru. I can’t walk the streets and listen to the locals’ gossip, but I know something terrible is about to happen. What do you know about it?”

“It would be inappropriate for me to share any information like that. His lordship relies on my ability to be discreet.”

“I am certain that he does. It’s only… This morning I met with Sesshomaru and he seemed…troubled. Whatever it is, it has him concerned as well.”

The old woman’s eyes narrowed in a disapproving frown.

“If something _is_ going to happen, shouldn’t we warn the others? Shouldn’t we be taking some sort of precautions?”

Kaoru ignored her questions and snapped, “Have you completely forgotten your place, girl? Even an Oiran should not use his given name. Watch your tongue or you will face consequences you can’t even begin to imagine.”

Rin blinked in astonishment. The _kamiyashiki_ was potentially facing some unknown enemy and _this_ was what Kaoru was concerned about? Propriety?!

“From the day we met he’s asked me to call him Sesshomaru. I don’t see the problem; he’s an Edo-garo, after all, and I am no servant.”

A cold gleam of satisfaction glinted in Kaoru’s dark eyes.  “Is that so?”

Rin couldn’t understand why she suddenly felt uneasy. Kaoru had not had this effect on her since her first days here. Why now, after all this time, should she feel an icy pang of fear in her gut?

“Perhaps it is best if you take these concerns of yours to the daimyo himself.”

Rin felt her head nod in agreement and followed Kaoru down the maze of hallways to the daimyo’s quarters. The door was painted with the same ostentatious battle scene and she hated the look of it almost as much as she hated the man himself. She was determined never to paint over it, no matter what he threatened her with. The mural was ugly, proud and garish; a perfect testament to the man behind it.

Following Kaoru’s lead, Rin knelt obediently at the door and waited. The older woman knocked and a servant opened the door from the other side.

“The lady wishes to speak with his lordship,” she said, her tone sharp and curt.

The servant opened the door further and Rin crossed the threshold. She didn’t need to look up to know that there were far more people milling about than had been there on her first visit to the daimyo. To her left, a group of armoured soldiers were kneeling in a circle, speaking in low tones, and to her right group of servants were sharpening and polishing katana. Before her, in the centre of it all, was Sesshomaru.

He was dressed in threatening looking armour and had pulled his hair back off his face. It was clear that a battle of some sort was imminent. Fear clutched at her and perhaps that was why it took longer than it should have for her to realize what felt so out of place. Sesshomaru was not standing where she imagined an Edo-garo might be, dutifully next to the daimyo’s chair, but instead was seated in it with retainers on either side.

The disturbing truth of the scene before her clutched at the periphery of her mind and for a long moment she refused to accept it. It wasn’t – no – it couldn’t be possible! All this time…? Her ears were buzzing so loudly they drowned out every other sound but the rasp of her breaths as she struggled to process the all consuming lie seated in front of her.

A servant gently touched her arm and she jerked it away as if she’d been burned. The poor girl bowed in apology and then spoke again. It was almost impossible to hear her over the terrible rushing of blood in her ears. She focused on the movement of her lips, watching each syllable form into something completely unintelligible.

“Do you wish to speak with his lordship?” the servant asked once more, her expression filled with concern.

Rin opened her mouth but no words emerged. Instead she shook her head and eyed the door. She needed to leave now, before this got any worse, before he…  

She felt his gaze on her like two red hot firebrands. Sucking in a breath, she reluctantly turned her head and saw wide-eyed shock written across his features. Instantly her heart sank. The faint glimmer of hope she’d held on to - that this had all been a simple misunderstanding - was brutally snuffed out. There was no mistake, no misunderstanding. Her friend was nothing more than a ghost. He’d never truly existed at all.

Her legs were moving towards the door before her mind had the chance to catch up. He didn’t try to stop her. He didn’t call her name. Forgetting all formalities, she shoved the door aside and fell out into the hall. Kaoru was waiting for her, looking smug.

Every ounce of rage she felt surged forward at the sight of the sneer on Kaoru’s lips. She was sick to death of being lied to, sick of being tricked and played for a fool! Kaoru opened her mouth to make a snide remark and Rin felt her hand fly with more force than she’d ever thought possible. It came down hard across the older woman’s cheek and connected with a satisfying slap that sent her tumbling to the floor. A servant lingering behind her gasped in horror, but she didn’t care. She was done with caring about anyone or anything in this place.

Turning heel, she stormed blindly through the maze of halls. Her socked feed pounded relentlessly against the hardwood floor as her mind played back over every encounter, every meal and conversation she’d shared with him. It seemed impossible that they were the same person and yet, the undeniable truth had been sitting right there before her eyes. 

Whatever else she thought she knew about him, at least she knew this – the man was a brilliant liar; he’d never once broken his façade as the well-meaning Edo-garo. He’d played her for a fool and no doubt found great amusement at her expense. She wondered if he’d laughed at her with the others, perhaps placed bets on how long he could fool her for. She wiped the feel of his kiss from her lips with the back of her hand and felt her stomach churn. To think of how close she’d come to-!

Though she was still fuming, the pace of her feet began to slow. At first she thought they were leading her back to her room, but in front of her stood the door that led to the daimyo’s private garden. The irony of the situation was not lost on her. This place had once been their private retreat from the world and now it felt tainted as if it had been washed over with a pot of black ink. She debated leaving, but decided to go outside instead. At the moment she could think of nothing she needed more than to look upon those snow dusted treetops.

Keeping her eyes down, she gingerly slipped the waiting pair of outdoor sandals on her feet while her hand slid the door open. A cool gust of wind greeted her, stirring the hair ornament hanging by her face. Righting herself, she looked up and felt the air evaporate from her lungs. For a long moment she stared into the pair of familiar brown eyes waiting for her on the other side of the threshold and then dark spots crept across her vision.

 _Breathe!_ she told herself, but it was too late. With an ungraceful wobble her legs crumpled beneath her and then she was falling headfirst towards the snow-covered stone steps.

oOo

_Don’t be an idiot!_

He could hear Sango’s voice in his head just as clearly as if she were standing there next to him. She would have disapproved of this plan wholeheartedly. Sango never took uncalculated risks. It made her one of the best tacticians in their village, but sometimes you just had to jump into the pot and hope for the best. That’s what he was doing now, standing just outside a door that would lead him into the daimyo’s residence. He still had no idea how he would find Rin, but he was out of time and other options. If he was lucky he’d find a servant and force them to tell him where Rin’s room was. In the impending chaos, he might just have a chance to get out alive. If not, well… What better reason to die, than for love?

 _Fool,_ Sango’s voice answered him and his mouth twitched in amusement.

Drawing his short sword, he put his hand on the door to slide it open but took a step back when it began to open on its own. There was no time to hide, no time to run. In the space of a heartbeat the door was open and a woman stood before him on the other side. She was fumbling with her sandals, trying to wedge them onto her socked feed.

He lowered his sword marginally and debated jumping up onto the roof. She hadn’t seen him yet and with any luck he could remain hidden up there until she went back inside. But by the time the thought crossed his mind she’d finished fussing with her shoes. His hand tightened on the hilt of his sword. He couldn’t escape, but perhaps he could use her to help him find Rin.

It was obvious from the layers of fine silk that she was someone important. If worse came to worst perhaps he could use her as a hostage to negotiate for Rin’s release. It was a horrible thing to consider, but he was desperate enough to try anything at this point. He’d resolved to demand she lead him to Rin’s room when she looked up and everything came to a sudden halt.

From behind layers of stark white make up and kohl-lined eyes, two familiar chestnut-hued orbs peered back at him. He blinked and felt his mouth suddenly go dry. She looked like a _Hina_ doll he’d seen once at a shop in Edo. They’d dressed her in an elaborate, vibrantly hued kimono and pulled her hair up in the stylish design worn by noble women. In it were stuck half a dozen hair ornaments, each worth more than he would make in a life time of demon slaying. Her face they’d painted white to hide the tell-tale darker skin of her inaka origins and then added just the barest hint of red to her lips to give them life. She stood there frozen, just as beautiful and fragile looking as the expensive doll he’d seen in the shop and then her eyes rolled up into her head and she was falling head first towards him.

He managed to sheathe his sword and thrust his arms out in time to catch her before she hit the ground. With a wary look at the hallway in front of him, he lifted her body the rest of the way outside and then used his foot to push the door closed. They’d be safe from prying eyes, at least for a little while.

By the time he’d knelt down, she was already coming to and he uttered a sigh of relief. Her eyes fluttered open and he tenderly cupped her cheek with his hand. She blinked as she stared up at him, her expression a mixture of confusion and surprise.

“You’re here…” she said, though her words were so soft he wasn’t sure they were meant for his ears.

He smiled down at her and she looked around, only belatedly realizing they were outside and she was sitting on his lap.

“What am I…?” she squirmed and struggled with her kimono to get her feet under her.

“You fainted,” he offered, helping her to her feet.

Once she’d righted herself she looked down at where her hand was still held in his and pulled away. He reluctantly let her go and felt the shock of it as sharply as if she’d struck him in the face. Taking a step back, he expelled a weighted sigh and scratched nervously at the back of his head.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded in a loud whisper. Her eyes raked over him and he caught a hint of suspicion in their depths.

“I…” He struggled, finding himself at a loss for words. She lifted a brow expectantly and he nervously cleared his throat.

“I came to rescue you.”

 “ _Rescue_ me?” she replied, practically choking on the words.

“Is it so hard to believe?”

Her gaze hardened and she tried to step past him but he caught hold of her wrist and held tight.

“Rin, listen to me. The Shogun’s soldiers are surrounding this place as we speak. If we don’t leave now we won’t get another chance.”

“Why are there soldiers-“

“I don’t have time to explain,” he pressed, pulling her down the steps. “You’ll just have to trust me.”

“I’m a little short on trust at the moment,” she snapped and jerked her hand hard to free it from his grasp.

He listened carefully and could just make out the distinct clink of armour as soldiers ran into position down the street on the north end of the garden. Once they made their way around the east side the two of them would be trapped. Uttering an impatient grunt in the back of his throat, he pulled her against him and held tight.

“The Shogun believes that a demon lives here and he’s sent soldiers to kill it. Whether it’s true or not doesn’t matter. Either way they’re going to attack and they already have this place mostly surrounded. I need to get you out of here before all hell breaks loose.”

Her eyes widened in horror and she pushed against him.

“What?! No! I can’t go! I have to-“

“Rin!”

Her mouth snapped shut and she went very still. He’d never raised his voice to her, never held her with the bruising force he was using now. He could see how much it terrified her but there was no helping it. He couldn’t lose her again, not when he was this close to saving her!

She pulled towards the door again and he gave up all hope of negotiating with her. Grabbing her by the waist, he put her over his shoulder and ran for the wall. She beat her fists against his back and screamed at him to put her down but he couldn’t stop now.

He reached the edge of the garden as the first of the soldiers turned down the street running behind the east wall. He cursed under his breath and ordered Rin to hold on to him as he pulled them both up into the branches of a large yew tree that grew close to the garden wall. He shuffled along one of the broader branches, using the one hanging above it for balance, until his feet touched the top of the wall. He set Rin down next to him and she glared at him with murder in his eyes.

“Hate me later,” he said, pointing to the soldiers heading toward them. “I’m going to climb down first and then you need to jump. I promise I’ll catch you.”

She looked reluctantly at the ground far below them, but there was no time to argue. Releasing his hold on her, he climbed down the chain of his sickle and released it from the roof tile it was lodged into. It returned to him and he tucked the weapon neatly into the belt at his side and then held out his arms.

“Jump!” he pleaded, glancing frantically over his shoulder at the approaching hoard of soldiers who were armed to the teeth.

They’d already been spotted. If she didn’t jump now they didn’t have a prayer of escaping. Rin cast one last beleaguered glance over her shoulder at the house beyond and then jumped into his waiting arms.

 

* * *

 

 _Author’s Note:_ Who knew I could still update this quickly? ;) What did you think of the big reveal? Was anyone able to figure out Sesshomaru’s secret before now? Take a second and let me know! I’m genuinely curious!

Also, I just wanted to say a BIG thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. Each review was truly wonderful to read. I am so incredibly grateful to you for taking the time to leave me such thoughtful and insightful reviews. If only all writers could be so lucky :)

Until next time,

Langus


	24. Chapter 24

Morning came early the next day. The cold damp roused Rin from a deep, dreamless sleep and she lay awake a while, staring at the thin canopy of leaves overhead. The sky beyond was grey and threatened snow. She turned her head and glanced at the smoking remains of the previous night’s fire as a steady stream of shivers shook her.

Wrapping her arms tightly around herself, she uttered an impatient sigh and sat up. The muscles in her legs immediately screamed and throbbed in protest. Every part of her felt stiff and wooden, thanks in large part to the long journey from the daimyo’s garden to wherever she was now. Kohaku had been stubbornly insistent that they keep moving until they were beyond the city limits. She’d run until her legs collapsed beneath her and then refused to go any further. Kohaku had looked at her with sympathy in his eyes, and guilt too, before lifting her onto his back and carrying her the rest of the way.

They didn’t speak once on the journey from Edo. The few brief words they’d exchanged in the daimyo’s garden was as close to a conversation as they’d gotten and from that moment onward, not one word or question that wasn’t a command had crossed his lips. She had a thousand questions for him but had been too stunned and afraid at first and later too exhausted by the journey to ask a single one of them. By the time Kohaku decided they were far enough from Edo she barely had the energy to help find firewood before curling up atop a bed of last season’s bamboo leaves and falling asleep.

She would ask him her questions in the morning, all of them, and force him to answer before going any further. It'd seemed a perfect plan to her sleep weary brain, but now that she was awake a new problem had presented itself – Kohaku was nowhere to be found. She turned her head this way and that, listening for any sounds of movement in the forest beyond. The wind rustled softly through the naked bamboo, making the branches creak and crack together, but there was no hint of the demon slayer.

An unspoken worry niggled at the back of her mind. What if the Shogun’s soldiers _had_ followed them? What if Sesshomaru survived the attack and had come looking for her? It would be impossible for Kohaku to resist a fight against him. Demon slaying was in his blood - he was honour-bound to kill them or give his life trying. The image of Sesshomaru and Kohaku duelling amongst the endless stalks of bamboo sent her heart springing into the back of her throat.

“Kohaku?”

The woods echoed her voice back to her. It sounded timid and full of fear. Wincing against the stiffness in her legs, she slowly got to her feet and cleared her throat before calling to him again.

“Kohaku!”

There was no answer from the surrounding trees and her niggle of worry blossomed into a full blown spike of fear. Leaving the campsite behind, she pushed her way through the underbrush in search of him. Maybe he’d gone hunting for their breakfast? Or perhaps he’d gone to fish in a nearby river? She considered these options as she climbed over fallen trees and followed the sound of rushing water in the distance.

“Kohaku, you idiot, you had better not be hurt,” she muttered under her breath.

A sudden cry made her stop short. She froze and strained her ears, searching for the source. It could have been an animal, maybe a tanuki or a bear. She’d heard that animals sometimes made noises that sounded like a human cry. Her gut told her she was wrong. That hadn’t been an animal just now…

What if it was bandits? Fear gripped her and she retreated a few paces until her back met the smooth green wood of a bamboo tree. She had no desire to meet another group of bandits in the forest alone.

_What if Kohaku is in trouble?_

She ‘tsked’ in frustration and pushed away from the tree. From her obi she retrieved the small knife she kept hidden there and gripped it tight in her hand. Kohaku had saved her life this way once before. The least she could do was make sure he was okay.  

Keeping a close eye on the grey, misty shadows around her, Rin picked her way through the trees. For a while the only sound was the soft crunch of dead bamboo leaves beneath her sandals, but as she moved deeper into the woods others emerged – like the sound of flesh meeting flesh with no small amount of force.

She crawled up a small rock face that acted as a wall between her and the others, whoever they were. She could hear them clearly now – someone was fighting and someone was losing badly.

Afraid of being spotted, she crouched low, pressing her body flat against the rocks. She lifted her head just enough to peer over the top of the ridge and take in the scene below. Three men were fighting – one holding another and the third landing punches on any part that looked painful.

The largest of the three drove a solid fist into his opponent’s gut. His victim doubled over with a muffled groan. The other man, who was slighter and younger than his partner, tossed a heavy bag of coins in his hand. Finally, he threw the bag to the ground with a look of disgust. Dozens of coins flew out of the opening and scattered across the forest floor.

“How many girls did you have to sell to get that much coin? A dozen? Two?”

Grabbing his opponent by the hair, he jerked his head back until his ear was next to his mouth.

“You’re gonna pay for what you did to her,” he threatened evenly.

The man who was the focus of their ire collapsed to the forest floor and uttered a pitiful moan. The larger of the two men kicked a boot full of leaves into his face and spat on him.

“Got the rope?” he asked his partner.

The younger one nodded and retrieved a length of it from the satchel at his side. He proceeded to tie a noose at one end and tested it a few times before holding it out to his partner.

“Grab him. We’ll use this tree over here. The crows can have fun picking out his eyeballs.”

The man on the ground stirred and pulled himself to his knees. The threat of death was enough to inject movement back into his limbs. He stood shakily to his feet but was quickly brought down by the butt end of his opponent’s sword slamming into his ribs.

He groaned and coughed as he was dragged toward the noose that awaited him. He struggled, but the strength he had was no match for them both. One of the men held his arms pinned to his sides, while the other wound coarse rope around them and tied the ends tight. The pair wore grim victory smiles as they slipped the noose over his head.

Rin watched the scene unfolding before her, unable to breathe or move. Her eyes told her that in the clearing stood her brothers, Takanori and Ryo, but it couldn’t be them. They were dead, along with the rest of her family. She’d seen the village burn. She’d seen the bandits attack them as she was carried away. It wasn’t possible they were alive and yet, there they stood.

At first she’d thought she was still dreaming. She pinched her arm hard enough to leave a bruise, but nothing changed. The rock was still solid and damp beneath her body. Her eyes were still glued to the scene in front of her. Her brothers were alive and well and Kohaku was mere seconds from being hanged!

“Wait!”

Her brothers turned in unison to look at her, their hands going instantly to their swords. She rose shakily to her feet and picked her way down the rock face.

“Get gone! This is none of your business, girl,” Takanori shouted at her. Ryo eyed the small knife in her hand and slowly drew his sword from its sheath.

“Stop right there.” He spoke softly, his tone almost gentle. Her feet drew to a halt and she tucked her weapon back into her obi.

“Big brother, it’s me,” she pleaded, praying that he could recognize her beneath all the finery and make up. His eyes narrowed and he slowly sheathed his sword.

“What is it?” Takanori called to him impatiently.

Ryo waved him off and took a step towards her. He studied her closely, taking in the fine silks on her back, the ornate combs in her hair, and the white paint hiding her face. It wasn’t until he dared look her in the eye that his own went wide with shock.

“Rin?”

He spoke her name uncertainly at first, his dark, expressive eyes revealing his doubts. When she nodded, the tentative smile that had begun to pull at his lips widened into a brilliant grin. He stepped forward, collecting her into his arms, and then swung her around with a hearty cheer.

 “It’s you! You’re really here!”

Rin looked up into her brother’s face and felt her chest grow tight. She’d had this dream before, more times than she could possibly count. This Ryo was taller than the brother in her dreams, almost a whole head taller, and he filled out his shirt better, too. But that smile – that smile of his hadn’t changed at all. Ryo laughed breathlessly and gently set her down.

“Our little sister has returned to us!” he called over her shoulder to their elder brother.

Takanori’s brows shot up in an uncharacteristic look of shock. “How can this be?” he demanded, his mouth hanging agape.

“It doesn’t matter. She’s here now and just in time. Come on,” he said, taking her by the hand. “We were just about to hang the bandit scum that took you from us.”

Ryo pulled her eagerly towards the tree where Takanori stood with Kohaku strung up next to him, barely conscious.

“We’ll leave the body as a warning to others,” her elder brother assured her, tightening his grip on the rope.

“No! Wait!”

Rin took a frantic step forward and Takanori’s grip loosened on the noose. Kohaku pulled in a deep, ragged breath and her eyes softened as they took in the sight of the mottled bruises covering his face. A small stream of blood leaked from his lip from where it had split, and she felt the sudden urge to kiss him. With an embarassed shake of her head, she quickly swallowed the urge back down.

“ _Baka_ ,” she said so softly only he would hear, and then more loudly to her brothers, “He’s not the one you’re looking for.”

Takanori and Ryo exchanged matching looks of surprise.

“If he’s not the one who took you from us, who is he?” Ryo demanded.

 “He’s the one who gave me to the daimyo,” she answered distractedly, not fully realizing what she was saying.  

Takanori’s expression darkened. “Then he’s as good as dead,” he vowed, tightened his grip on the rope once more.

 “Rin!” Kohaku croaked her name imploringly and struggled against his binds.

“You don’t have the right to speak her name,” Ryo snapped.

“Don’t I get a say?” she protested, sending each brother an emphatic look.

“Name your punishment and it will be done.”

Takanori looked thoroughly taken aback as she took a determined step forward and stayed his hand, “Release him.”

“After he sold you like a sack of rice? He doesn’t deserve to live for dishonouring you like that,” Ryo protested. He bared his teeth at Kohaku and curled his hands into tight fists at his sides.

“It was my choice,” she insisted. “He came back for me as well. That makes three times now he’s saved my life. I need to return the favour.”

Pride and honour had once been very important to her brothers. She knew her words would reach them, even if they were reluctant to accept them. Takanori’s brow furrowed. He looked decidedly unhappy at having his chance for revenge taken from him, but offered up no protest when she set to work cutting the rope binding Kohaku’s arms. When she was finished she slipped the noose from around his neck and he fell forward, just managing to catch himself on the tree.

“Thank you,” he whispered past the red ring left by the rope around his throat.

Her hand lifted instinctively to reach for him, but faltered half-way and fell limply back to her side.

“What should we do with him?”

Ryo’s hostile gaze remained fixed on Kohaku. It would be a long time before either of her brothers trusted him, she realized. She only hoped they didn’t try to kill him again before she was given the chance to explain what had happened in detail.

“Do you have a campsite somewhere close by?”

“We have one set up just across the stream there. We don’t have enough food for four though,” Takanori said with a pointed look at Kohaku.

“Then I suggest one of you go hunting.”

“I guess I could go fishing…” Ryo groused while aiming a resentful look in Kohaku’s direction.

“Good. While you are doing that, Takanori can help me get Kohaku to your camp. Right, Takanori?”

Their older brother grunted and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“It’s settled then.”

“Since when did you become so bossy?” Ryo muttered, departing in the direction of the stream with a loud ‘hmph’.

Rin watched him go and felt her eyes mist up with tears. The circumstances weren’t ideal, but she was willing to put up with anything if it meant seeing and holding her brothers again. For too long the gods had been punishing her for some unknown slight, but today, this morning of all mornings, they’d finally seen fit to reward her. She felt lighter than air, as though she were a weightless cloud floating about in the sky.

“Rin…”

Kohaku’s rough voice brought her crashing back down to earth. He pushed away from the tree and she could sense his objections before he’d uttered a single word. Frowning, she held him at bay with a hand against his chest.

“It’s because of me that you are hurt,” she explained, refusing to look him in the eye. “Please, let me do this.”

She felt rather than heard his sigh of resignation. Her hand lingered just a moment longer than necessary, to feel his heart beating strong and alive underneath. Relief rushed through her like a warm flood before she reluctantly pulled away.

“I can walk on my own,” Kohaku insisted with a stubborn tilt of his chin. “I don’t need his help.” It was just as well because Takanori had already taken off ahead of them in the direction of the campsite.

“In that case, we should go,” she said, offering him her best attempt at a reassuring smile.

He fell in step beside her and they walked together, a fair distance behind her brother. After his second stumble, she wrapped her arm around his to help him stay steady on his feet. When he didn’t object she held him just a little bit tighter, enjoying the feeling of being close to him again. A thousand questions still burned through her mind, but there would be time for answers later. For now she had two more important things to focus her attentions on, the injured demon slayer at her side and the pair of surly brothers waiting for them up ahead.


	25. Chapter 25

Breakfast was a tense and mostly silent affair. From the way her brothers glared at Kohaku, it was clear their opinion of him had not improved. Takanori kept his sword at his side, the blade partially withdrawn from its sheath in warning. Ryo hardly touched his food, choosing instead to stare unflinchingly at the demon slayer and periodically make comments to Takanori under his breath. Kohaku, for his part, looked calm and collected as he picked at his fish. Perhaps it was because he’d dealt with far worse. Compared to demons, bandits, and daimyos, how intimidating could the ire of her brothers possibly be?

Watching them scrutinize Kohaku, Rin realized that there was more than anger behind her brothers’ stares. They were curious about him too, and perhaps even a little jealous. For nearly two years she’d been lost to them, taken by forces they couldn’t control, and during that time Kohaku had come to know and understand her in ways they no longer could. They knew the old Rin, the almost-child who showed no interest in boys and fancy clothes. Kohaku knew her as the woman she’d become since: the painter, the entertainer, the courtesan. For her brothers, there was likely no greater reminder of the passage of stolen time than this.

With her body warm and her belly full, she felt better prepared to deal with the situation at hand. She would never be able to speak with her brothers the way she needed to if their attentions remained wholly focused on Kohaku. The only solution was to move him as far away as possible. After tossing what remained of her fish into the fire, she pointedly turned to Kohaku.  

“I have something that may help with those injuries…”

It was a pretext, of course. She knew Kohaku could handle himself; she’d seen his abilities first hand when he wrapped up her thigh after she was attacked by a gang of thugs. His skills far outweighed hers, but she couldn’t see any other plausible way to separate him from her brothers.

To her relief Kohaku caught on and agreed to let her help, but not without provision.

“I have one condition,” he announced, holding up a single finger. He pointed it towards Ryo, or more specifically, the sword sheath hanging from Ryo’s belt. 

“I want my sword back.”

Rin looked expectantly to her brother and he muttered a few choice curses under his breath before slipping the sheath out of his belt and handing it to her. Kohaku dipped his head in a nod of thanks, but Ryo ignored it and turned sullenly towards the fire.

Kohaku tucked his sword into the belt at his waist and followed her to a downed tree not far from the fire. She sat atop the rotting wood and he took up a position next to her. She noticed that he was careful to keep his distance, though whether it was for her brothers’ benefit or her own she couldn’t tell.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice low.

Kohaku gave a wry smile, “I’m fine.”

“May I?”

She gestured to his hands which were still caked in dried blood and dirt. He held them out to her and she began to gently clean his bloodied knuckles with a rag from his satchel and a bit of water. The rag moved unhurriedly over his skin, washing away the evidence of his first unfortunate encounter with her brothers.

“I’m sorry about them,” she said, with a glance over her shoulder at the pair who watched them carefully.

“They’re your brothers. I wouldn’t have expected them to do any less given the circumstances,” he conceded with a light shrug. “I’m just glad you talked them out of hanging me. For a minute there, I wasn’t entirely sure you would.”

_Hate me later..._

His words from the previous day came rushing back and her hand stilled over his. Did he think that she hated him? She was angry, yes, confused too, but how could he think that a single part of her wanted to see him dead? Her gaze settled on the angry red marks left by the rope around this throat. Just the thought of what had nearly happened was enough to make her stomach churn. If she'd arrived just a few moments later, Kohaku would be...

She sucked in a cool breath and turned her face away to hide the tears glistening in her eyes. Kohaku’s hand settled warmly over hers and he gently turned her face towards him.

“Rin, this isn’t your fault.”

He waited patiently for her eyes to meet his, but she lacked the strength to do it. If she looked now, he’d know the truth about how terrified she was to lose him. Whether by her brothers’ hands or the daimyo’s, she couldn’t bear the thought. With one look he would know what was in her heart – that in spite of his months long absence she still loved him as much as she ever had.  

It was difficult to remain strong when his presence and the comforting warmth of his hands encouraged her to lower her defences. They’d been down this road before, she reminded herself, and knew exactly where it led. He cared for her, that much was clear, but was it any different from how one cared for a sibling or a friend? Had he missed her with an ache in his heart the way she’d missed him, or spent his nights torn between wakefulness and sleep on account of dreams of her that were too vivid to not be real? His confident posture gave nothing away and with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach she realized that she had her answer. 

Pulling her hands from his, she softly cleared her throat and wiped away the damp remnants of tears from her lashes. She couldn’t afford to let herself be vulnerable in front of him again, not until she knew his true reasons for returning.

“I’m sorry,” she conceded with soft shake of her head. “This morning has been a bit overwhelming.”

His freshly bandaged hand softly caressed the side of her face to comfort her. Offering him a faint smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, she assured him that she was fine and then retrieved a small container of medicinal salve from her obi. Kohaku eyed the container and she wondered if he remembered giving it to her. She couldn’t explain why she’d kept it all this time, except that the thought of keeping it had sat easier than the thought of tossing it away.

“How did they do it?” she asked as she applied the salve liberally to the wounds on his neck.

“Do what?” He grimaced as she touched a particularly sensitive spot and she winced in sympathy.

“How did they get the better of you?”

Her eyes remained downcast but a faint smile touched her lips. Her brothers may have spent the last year training to learn how to fight, but Kohaku was a born tracker and demon hunter. Those skills were second nature to him. It was impossible for anyone to sneak up on him, or away from him as she’d discovered on more than one occasion, unless he permitted it.

 “Ah,” he replied with a conspiratorial look. He examined his bandaged knuckles and made a few experimental fists. “Well, it’s not as though they didn’t put up a fight.”

“I don’t understand,” she pressed, her voice lowering so as not to be overheard. “I’ve watched you kill a man twice your size with a single slash of that sword. Why didn’t you…?”

“Use it?” he finished for her. “I couldn’t chance killing them.”

“But… How did you know?”

“I didn’t at first,” Kohaku admitted, and bowed his head so she could tend to the welts on the back of his neck. “I was washing up in the river when I heard them. They were talking about you. At least, I thought they were. Rin is not all that common of a name. In any case, they were arguing about that brothel in Kyoto, the one where we met. I was curious, so I went to talk to them.”

Her hands stilled. “What did you say?”

“Not much,” he replied with a short, humourless laugh. “They must have heard my description somewhere, perhaps from that brothel, because the moment they laid eyes on me they drew their swords.”

He looked up and past her to where her brothers were talking next to the fire and slowly shook his head. “I told them you were with me, but given how remote this area is I can see how they wouldn’t believe me. And, well, once they found the bag of coins in my shirt, they were convinced I was a slave trader. There was no reasoning with them after that.”

“And you just let them attack you?” The air escaped her lungs in a sudden rush as her hands fell limply into her lap. “What if they’d killed you?”

He shrugged his shoulders in a careless sort of gesture that infuriated and horrified her all at once.

“It’s not as though I had all that much choice in the matter,” he responded dryly. “Besides, your brothers would have found you eventually. I figured that if it came to that, you’d probably be safer with them anyhow since the daimyo wouldn’t know to look for them.”

Her heart was thundering in her ears and she suddenly felt hot under her kimono despite the bitter chill on the air. Had he truly done all of that for her? Refused to defend himself, even put his life in jeopardy, just so that she might be safely reunited with what was left of her family?

“I never would have been able to forgive myself if you’d died.”

It was the closest she was willing to come to a confession. He might not share her feelings, but that didn’t mean he deserved to go on thinking she hated him. Her words had the desired effect as he seemed to visibly relax next to her. Turning her way, he offered a warm smile.

“Would you miss me all that much?” he teased.

His rational talk of dying had set her insides churning and she was in no mood to indulge his attempts at flirtation. Ignoring his question, she abruptly changed the subject.

“Your eyes are almost swollen shut. I have something that may take away a bit of the swelling, but you will have to rest for a while. Can you do that?”

“No,” he replied honestly. Seeing her troubled frown, he added, “But if you think it necessary, I will.”

She motioned for him to put his head back against the fallen tree. He did and then watched as she retrieved the last two fresh bandages from his bag and began tying the corners together to form two small pouches. She filled each with a hefty amount of compacted snow and then tied them shut tight.

“Those?” he asked, with a dubious look at her creations.

With a determined look, she gestured for him to close his eyes.

“The cold will help with the swelling,” she explained, placing a pouch atop each eye.

“How long do I have to stay like this, exactly?” he wondered.

“I’ll return when it’s time.”

She began to rise and his hand slid over hers, pressing it gently to his chest. The warmth of his skin permeated the thin layers of his shirt, warming her chilled fingers.

“Thank you for earlier.” His brow furrowed as he spoke, his tone uncharacteristically serious. “And for this. It’s more than I deserve.”

Her thumb moved, softly stroking the small patch of skin left bare at the opening of his shirt. She longed to feel the comforting weight of his arms wrapped around her, but it wasn’t the time or the place. Expelling a soft sigh, she withdrew her hand and rose to her feet.

“Try to rest. I’ll be back soon.”

Her brothers were still sitting around the campfire when she returned, though they seemed to have lost interest in Kohaku. Ryo was preoccupied with jabbing at the glowing embers with a long stick while Takanori stared pensively into the flames; neither looked up when she took a seat between them.

“Is he in much pain?” Ryo asked, adding a fresh log to the fire.

“No,” she lied, holding her hands towards the flames to warm them. “He’ll be fine in a day or two.”

“Shame.”

Rin shot her brother a sharp look. “I never knew you to be so heartless, Ryo. Have you changed so much while I was gone?”

He had the grace to look abashed and a hint of colour stained his cheeks.

“I know he’s not the one who took you,” he muttered, “but just lookin’ at him makes my blood boil.”

Her eyes briefly lifted to where Kohaku was resting and then returned to the fire. How could she explain him to her brothers so they might understand?  

“He’s not so bad as you think,” she began, choosing her words carefully. “It’s true that he bought me from the brothel in Kyoto with the intention of giving me to the daimyo, but the morning we arrived at the daimyo’s residence he didn’t want to go through with it.”

“So we should we give him a medal?” Ryo quipped, with a derisive look in Kohaku’s direction. Takanori gave an emphatic snort.

Rin tamped down her impatience and tried again. “His village wouldn’t have survived the winter without the daimyo’s help. Even knowing that, he couldn’t ask me to go through with it. He said he would find another way, but the winter snows had already arrived. I knew his village was running out of time, so I made the choice to go.”

“What’s his village to you?” Ryo pressed, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Nothing, I suppose,” she answered with a shrug, “but I know what it’s like to lose a home. I couldn’t bear to let someone else go through that when I could prevent it.”

“At the cost of your freedom? Rin, that’s absurd!”

“Maybe to you, but from where I stood, I had nothing left to lose.”

“You know,” Takanori cut in, his tone calm and patient, “all this time I was picturing you as a child, just a scared little girl. But you’ve changed, haven’t you? You’re all grown up.”

His soft spoken words were a dramatic departure from Ryo’s heated protests. Their circle suddenly went quiet and Rin glanced over at her ever-serious big brother. His weariness was plain in the stoop of his shoulders and the dark shadows beneath his eyes. This had been a challenging year for them all. His pained gaze met hers and her heart clenched tight inside her chest.

“I am still your plain-faced little sister,” she reassured him.

Takanori attempted a smile at their family joke, but his features remained overshadowed by guilt.

“Naw, that’s different too,” Ryo said with a decisive nod. “It took a while, but I guess you finally grew into that face of yours.”

Rin made a face and playfully punched him in the shoulder as he laughed. In some ways it was like nothing had changed, except everything had. They weren’t children anymore. In a single night, whatever remnants of childish innocence they'd possessed had been stolen from them. They were harder now, less easily amused, their bodies showing signs of a life never intended for them.

When Ryo’s laughter had quieted down and their circle grew quiet once more, she ventured to ask the terrible question that had been plaguing her thoughts for more than a year.

“What happened after…?”

There was no need to elaborate. From the weighted silence that fell over them, it was clear her brothers understood what she was asking.

From the moment her village was swallowed up by the darkness of the night, she’d agonized over the answer. At first she’d been hopeful – everyone had survived, everyone was waiting for her to return – but after a while a sort of bitter pessimism set in that told her everyone and everything she’d ever loved was dead. In time, that too faded and she began to dream of a homecoming where her parents, friends and neighbours would welcome her with open arms. That vision had kept her going through the long nights in the brothel and had driven her time and again to try and elude Kohaku - risks be damned.

But now, with an opportunity to learn the fate of her village in front of her, she was suddenly reluctant to know. In some ways, the uncertainty that went with not knowing was easier. Once the ugly truth was spoken, that homecoming she’d dreamed of would cease to exist. The finality of it unsettled her and left her twisting her hands in the soft silk of her kimono. Reluctant or not, it was time. Her heart would never be satisfied without the truth.

“Most of the village burned to the ground,” Ryo answered solemnly, “but I guess you saw that bit.”

“Did anyone else survive?”

“Some,” Takanori offered. “Takuya is gone. He died saving Yuri and the babe.”

They sat quietly for a moment to give her a chance to absorb the news of their eldest brother’s death. Rin exhaled and felt tears prick at her eyes. Takuya had always felt like a second father to her. He was far older than her other brothers, with a family and home of his own. He was the strongest of them and the most dependable.  Even though she’d been prepared for his death all along it still felt like a piece of her heart had suddenly been carved out.

“And our parents?”

Her whispered question went unanswered and she looked up to see Ryo shake his head. Braving a smile, Rin brushed a few stray tears from her cheeks and sucked in a calming breath.

“In my heart I’ve been mourning all of you for a very long time,” she explained, her words halting and uneven. “Even now, it’s hard for me to believe you’re both here.”

“Well we are,” Ryo assured her, pulling her into a warm hug, “and we ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

His reassuring words made fresh tears spring from her eyes and she held him tighter, just to be certain he wouldn’t suddenly drift away. Takanori looked on, his features awash in sympathy. He wasn’t the sort to openly display his feelings, even amongst family. They used to joke that the gods had made up for their error with Ryo, who shared his feelings with far too much frequency and honesty to ever be mistaken for well-mannered.  

When Ryo released her, she sniffled loudly and laughed in spite of herself. Until recently, no one would have mistaken her for well-mannered either.

“I do have one more question,” she ventured, with a curious glance at each brother. “What brought you this far north?”

“A letter.”

It was Takanori who answered this time. He was sitting with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands folded in contemplation beneath his chin.

“After the bandits took you, we followed them. Without horses it was impossible for us to keep up, but we asked in every town we passed which way they had gone and continued our pursuit. Once we reached Kyoto, we had a fair idea of where they had brought you.”

He paused and swallowed hard, as though the very thought left a foul taste in his mouth.

“We went from brothel to brothel looking for you,” Ryo added. “We must’ve searched every brothel in Shimabara!”

“Two months ago, there was a letter waiting for us when we returned to our inn,” Takanori continued with an irritated glance at his brother. “It said you were in the care of the daimyo of Dewa province. That is where we were headed when we found you.”

Her brow furrowed in confusion and she sat up straight. “Who sent the letter?”

Takanori reached inside his shirt to retrieve a worn-looking and oft-folded slip of paper. He handed it to her with a grim look. She unfolded it and impatiently scanned the contents. Who would have sent such a letter? And how did they know where her brothers were, or that they were even still alive? The writing was fluid and well crafted, but offered no clue as to who’d written it.

She glanced over at Kohaku and just as quickly dismissed the notion from her mind. Before today, he hadn’t known her brothers were alive either. Besides, it would have been impossible for him to track them down in Kyoto. No, it had to be someone else. Could it have been Sesshomaru? She dismissed that idea, too. Like Kohaku, he had no way of knowing her brothers were alive and besides, he did not care enough about her to interfere in her personal life in such a way.

With a puzzled look she handed the letter back to Takanori.

“I don’t know who could have sent it, but it’s lucky that you found us when you did. All daimyo are in Edo for the New Year to pay homage to the Shogun. It would have been a long and pointless trip to Dewa.”

“So it’s true then? You were in the daimyo’s care?”

She answered Ryo’s question with a distracted nod and began to carefully pull the decorative combs from her hair. She placed each one in her lap until they were arranged in a tidy, weighty pile. The hair ornaments alone could buy a farm with a small parcel of land, not to mention the rich layers of silk on her back.

“I was to be his Oiran, a courtesan of the daimyo’s court.”

“The daimyo, was he-” Ryo faltered, not sure how to put his question into words.

“He was not cruel to me,” she reassured him.

Her brothers went quiet and she found her eyes drawn to Kohaku. He was stretched out on the downed tree with hands behind his head and legs crossed, just as she’d left him. One of his boots tapped an impatient, tuneless rhythm against the other. He wouldn’t indulge her ruse of caring for his injuries for much longer, but it was just as well. With news of the letter her mind was flooded with questions. Perhaps he might be able to offer some insights as to who’d written her brothers, or help her properly sort out some of her theories.

Resolved to ask him about it later, she looked back to find Takanori studying her with a curious look.   

“Earlier you told us that you owe him your life, but it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

Her eyes fell to the glowing coals of the fire. What could she say? He’d returned to Edo and saved her life once again, but too much uncertainty still remained. Not sure what else to do, she hid her doubts behind a painted smile and a chiding tone.

“All that time spent in brothels and you never learned to respect the secrets of a woman’s heart?”

“It wasn’t their hearts he was interested in,” Ryo chimed in with a salacious waggle of his brows.

Rin snorted at his crude joke and Takanori glowered. With that the question was forgotten and she uttered a quiet sigh of relief. It was only a temporary reprieve. Her brother would eventually ask about her relationship with Kohaku and the next time he wouldn’t be so easily dissuaded. Perhaps by then she’d have an answer to give him. Or perhaps by then Kohaku would be gone. In either case, she was determined to glean some answers for herself first.

With a quiet comment about needing to check on Kohaku, she departed their small, family circle. Her brothers didn’t object, but the pull of two sets of eyes soon settled between her shoulder blades and accompanied her the rest of the way.


	26. Chapter 26

In the few short hours that had passed since breakfast, the sky had darkened considerably. A frigid wind rushed through the naked trees to whip at her sleeves and make her eyes water. Rin wiped the moisture from her eyes with the back of her hand and then stooped to pick up another stick.

When the campfire had begun to burn down, Kohaku volunteered to search for more firewood. He seemed determine to prove himself useful, or at the very least helpful enough to not be worth killing. She’d joined him with a quick glance at her brothers that suggested it would be best if they didn’t follow. Surprisingly they’d listened, and so it was just the two of them alone amongst the trees scrounging for firewood.

“Do you think we have enough?”

She looked down at the meagre pile in her arms and suppressed a shiver. Her ears were burning from the wind and her fingers had long since gone numb. Never in her life had she experienced bone-jarring cold like this.

Kohaku bent low and snatched a stick off the forest floor to add to his own pile. “The cold getting to you already?” he teased, fixing her with a crooked smile.  “All that time in Edo must’ve turned you soft.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she sniffed, stubbornly adding another stick to her collection.

“The Rin I know once spent an entire night shivering at the mouth of a cave because she was too stubborn to sit within arm’s length of a warm fire.”

He raised an eyebrow in challenge, his mouth twitching with a suppressed grin. She scoffed and turned her back to hide the blush that rose to her cheeks.

“As I recall,” she replied archly, “it was you I was avoiding, not the fire.”

He limped the few short steps to her side and added his collection of wood to the small pile in her arms.

“Were you truly so afraid of me?” he asked, his gaze suddenly probing and serious.

She shrank back and floundered for an answer. She hadn’t been afraid of him that night. In fact, she’d never been afraid of him. Perhaps it’d been naïve of her, but there was something about the way his eyes had always looked so openly into hers that’d reassured her from their first moments together.

His brow furrowed and his eyes darted back and forth between hers, trying to read some hidden truth in them.

“No,” she spoke softly and gave a slight shake of her head. “I’ve never been afraid of you.”

Relief washed over his features like a wave, stripping away the anxiety and doubt. A tentative smile trembled across his lips and he opened his mouth as if to say more but quickly closed it again.

“These won’t be enough,” he reasoned with a dismissive glance at the meagre bundle of sticks in her outstretched arms. “If we’re going to keep the fire going, we’ll need something bigger.”

He turned about, studying the trees in their vicinity. “Something like that for instance!”

He gestured to an impressively large oak that stood a short distance away. The branches had long since been stripped of their leaves and the trunk was wide enough that two grown men would struggle to join hands around it. Her eyes lifted to the tree’s peak, swaying high above their heads, and then settled dubiously on Kohaku.

“How do you plan on cutting it down, exactly?”  

“Just watch,” he promised cryptically.

Moving her to a safe distance, he retrieved the sickle from his belt and began to swing it in slow, wide circles above his head. In one fluid motion, he released his hold on the top of the chain, sending it sailing towards the tree. It sliced cleanly through the trunk and with a loud crack the oak came crashing to the forest floor.

Looking rather pleased with himself, Kohaku retrieved his sickle and tucked it back into his belt.

“I figure if it can slice a demon in half, why not a tree? Come on,” he said, guiding her towards it, “you can rest a bit while I chop it up.”

She didn’t argue and promptly sat atop the downed tree. Her pile of sticks found a new home on the ground while she stuffed her hands deep into her sleeves to warm them. Kohaku set to work with his sickle, cutting the trunk into pieces that were small enough to carry.

“I heard you talking with your brothers before,” he said between swings. “I’m sorry about your village.” 

Their gazes met in an expression of wordless sympathy and she exhaled a soft sigh. The news had been difficult to hear, but it was nothing more than she’d expected. If anything, she felt relieved to finally know the truth.

“Maybe it’s a good thing,” she suggested, keeping her eyes on her toes. “It means we can start over. My brothers and I have the chance to build a life somewhere new.”

Kohaku continued chopping, each downward stroke of his blade splitting the wood with a solid ‘thunk’.

“Where will you go?” he asked, pausing to wipe the sweat from his brow with the back of his sleeve.

With the events of the morning she hadn’t had time to stop and think about their next step. For more than a year she’d survived on the singular goal of returning home and reuniting with her family. Now that half of her dream had come true, the sudden ambiguity of what awaited them unsettled her. Should they return to the burnt out remains of their village and start over, or begin again somewhere new?

Her shoulders lifted into a half-hearted shrug and she slowly shook her head, “I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you come to my village?” he offered. “You’d all be welcome.”

There was a time when she’d dreamed of what it would be like to go there, to meet his sister Sango and the other demon slayers, to see the place where he’d grown up and learned how to fight. She’d imagined going there as someone important to him, someone he wanted to introduce his family to, not as an act of charity or to assuage his guilty conscience.

“You don’t need to decide now,” Kohaku rushed, cutting off whatever half-hearted protest she was about to make. “Just promise you’ll consider it.”

She nodded her head uncertainly. It wasn’t her decision alone anymore. There were her brothers to think about, too, and she doubted either of them would look kindly on Kohaku’s offer even if it was made with the best of intentions.

“If the Shogun’s attack succeeded, what will happen to your village?”

In all the excitement of the past day she hadn’t considered what the ramifications for his village might be. Without the favour of the daimyo they wouldn’t survive the winter, Kohaku had made that clear. If the daimyo was dead, if Sesshomaru was gone…

The realization pierced through her heart like an arrow. It didn’t seem possible when she thought of how he’d moved so effortlessly that morning in the woods, cutting down two wolves with barely a lift of his finger. But even his demon strength couldn’t have been enough against an army armed to the teeth and looking to kill.

Rin sucked in a sharp, cold breath as the realization that Sesshomau was gone washed over her. Their tenuous relationship had ended with no semblance of closure. A day ago – was it only that long? – the daimyo of Dewa province had kissed her in his teahouse while dawn rose over Edo. That kiss, that moment, had been so full of possibility. It was the first time she’d considered consigning Kohaku to the past and giving her heart to another.

Her eyes slid to the demon slayer as guilt bloomed in her chest. She hadn’t done anything _wrong_ , but somehow it felt as though her face were burning with shame.

“My village will be fine,” Kohaku reassured her and with two quick strokes he reduced another section of wood into pieces small enough to carry.  “There’s enough rice to last the winter and after that we’ll…figure something out. We’re survivors, it’s what we do.”

She offered him a tight-lipped smile then turned her face away. Surviving…that’s what she’d been doing when he found her – struggling and surviving one day to the next. Both of them were survivors in their own way, the only difference was that his peace of mind had been purchased at the cost of her freedom. She wondered if he would find another girl once things became dire. It was easy to forget morals and good intentions when the lives of your friends and family were at stake.

“I suppose you could always travel to Kyoto and find another girl to sell.”

His hand stayed and he fixed her with a pained look.

“Once was enough,” he replied, his voice like gravel. “What I did to you was…it was unforgiveable.”

Finding herself unable to meet his gaze, she wordlessly collected her pile of sticks up into her arms.

“I think it’s time we head back.”

He nodded uneasily, looking as though he wanted to say more but in the end said nothing. He loaded his arms up with several pieces of wood and they began to walk back to the camp. A weighted silence stretched between them until she eventually confided in him about the letter just to relieve the tension.

His feet slowed and his brows lifted in a genuine look of surprise, “Who wrote it?”

His question struck her with a disappointment that settled deep in the pit of her stomach. Though she’d known it was impossible, a small part of her had hoped it’d been him. That in the months they were apart he’d cared enough to seek out her brothers on his own and work to reunite them. What better sign could she have asked of his feelings for her than that? Expelling a disappointed sigh, she admitted that she didn’t know and went quiet once more.

“I might be able to figure out more if I see the letter,” Kohaku offered, trying his best to be helpful. “I do know a thing or two about tracking after all.”

She smiled at that, a little more genuinely this time, and agreed to show it to him later. They continued walking until the trees began to thin and the smell of the campfire smoke hung on the air. With their campsite in view, her pace slowed until she came to a stop.

Kohaku stopped as well, his expression a mixture of curiosity and concern, “What is it?”

Her brow furrowed and she tilted her head to the side, scrutinizing him carefully. “Why did you come back to the _kamiyashiki_?”

He blushed beneath her probing gaze and nervously shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“I’ve been going over it in my head,” she explained, shaking it slowly back and forth, “And I can’t piece it together. How did you know about the attack? And why were you in Edo? Did you even leave?”

“Can we talk about this later?” He glanced meaningfully at the heavy load of wood in his arms and then at the camp waiting for them just a short distance away.

“No. We can talk about this now.”

Looking defeated, Kohaku leaned back against the nearest tree for support.

“After bringing you to...that place…” He swallowed thickly as though he were unable to voice the words. When he spoke again his voice was rough but strong. “I left that very morning and didn’t return until the day before you saw me at the _kamiyashiki_.”

“Why come back at all?” she demanded as the wind tousled her hair and burned her cheeks.

“I came back for you. You deserved your freedom and I owed it to you to make sure you got it. I went to the daimyo with some money. He wouldn’t even consider it.”

She went very still, feeling as though the air had been kicked out of her lungs. The bundle of sticks in her arms went crashing to the forest floor and she leaned heavily against the nearest tree for support. The sudden rushing sound in her ears drowned everything out until the insistent pressure of Kohaku’s hands on either side of her face brought the world back into focus.

 “Rin! What’s wrong? Are you alright?” he demanded, his eyes raking anxiously over her features.

She nodded meekly, her hand grabbing hold of his wrist for support. His pulse hammered against her thumb in a rapid, reassuring beat. Kohaku had been so close and she’d had no idea. Sesshomaru had never said a word and why would he when he could continue his charade? For the first time she began to hate him, not because of his lies, or because of Kohaku, but for what he’d taken from her – the chance to finally be free.

“Did he tell you _why_?”

Kohaku hesitated and shook his head. Instinct told her he was holding something back, but she was in no frame of mind to push for answers. She had enough to deal with at the moment. She wanted to thank him for trying, to apologize for not knowing he was there and for questioning his motives, but her throat felt tight and her mouth dry.

“The attack…”

She pushed the words passed her lips, her gaze wide and searching.

“I was in an _izakaya_ when I overheard some soldiers bragging about it. I had to make sure you were okay, so I went back to the _kamiyashiki_ and scaled the garden wall. I planned to wait and then find you in the chaos, or force one of the servants to help me find you, but then you opened the door…”

A heartfelt ‘thank you’ hung on her lips but he didn’t give her a chance to speak.

 “There’s something else,” Kohaku added hurriedly, suddenly nervous.

She shook her head, not certain she could handle any more. His eyes softened as he looked at her and his calloused thumb travelled lightly over her cheek.

“You have to understand that I had a duty to my village and my family. I couldn’t afford to lose focus. There was no room for error, no place for my personal feelings to get involved.”

He sucked in a heavy breath and his eyes travelled over her features as though he were committing each one to memory.  

“But every day it became harder. I tried to deny it – kami knows I tried,” he confessed, his words thick with emotion. “I just–I don’t want you to make any decisions thinking…well…thinking that I-”

Kohaku stopped suddenly and closed his eyes in silent defeat. He dropped his hands to his sides and took a step back. It was only then that she realized how close they’d been standing, their bodies practically touching.

“Storm’s headed this way.”

At the sound of Takanori’s voice, Rin exhaled the breath she’d been holding in a cloud of white condensation. Her brother lingered behind Kohaku wearing an expression that was as stormy as the skies above their heads. How long had he been standing there? How much had he heard?

“We don’t have long,” he said, speaking only to her. “Pack up whatever you need. If we leave now we can make it back to Edo before it hits.”

“We can’t go back to Edo,” Kohaku determined, taking a step away from her to face her brother. Takanori regarded him as if he were an insect that had just crawled out of a hole in the ground. He crossed his arms and stared hard at the injured demon slayer, his raised brow demanding an explanation.

“If he’s still alive, the daimyo might come looking for Rin. She is technically still his property.”

“And whose fault is that?”

Kohaku winced at her brother’s words and Rin offered him a sympathetic look. She’d never seen him so unsure of himself. He was a far cry from the smooth-talking boy who’d had an entire izakaya eating out of his hand and throwing their money into his pockets in under an hour.

“It’s not worth the risk,” she interjected, offering him a reprieve. “We should go north.”

“Fine,” Takanori muttered. “There will be another village up the road. If we leave now, we may make it before the snow falls. Take only what you need. We must travel light.”

Without another word, he stalked off towards the fire where Ryo was in the process of packing up their things. Kohaku blew out a breath and raked his hands through his hair. He turned away and braced his arm against the nearest tree, the tension making his shoulders ride up close to his ears.

“He really doesn’t like me much, does he?” he remarked, casting a resigned look at her over his shoulder.

Whatever Kohaku had been trying to tell her, it seemed clear he had no intention of continuing their conversation now. Setting aside her curiosity and disappointment, she stepped forward and caught his eye.

“Neither did I,” she reminded him, “at least at first.”

 He begrudgingly smiled at the reminder of their early days together and pushed off the tree with a faint grimace of pain.

“Is it getting worse?”

He brushed off her concern with a wave of his hand and straightened his shoulders.

“I’m fine. We better go before your brother decides to see what’s taking us so long.”

Rin eyed him warily, watching his faint limp as he headed in the direction of the camp. The way he’d avoided her eyes when he’d answered left her feeling uneasy. Were his injuries worse than he’d let on? She watched him closely, noting that he showed no outward signs of discomfort. Still, it couldn’t hurt to keep an eye on him just in case.

Kohaku moved about the camp as inconspicuously as possible, packing up bags and dousing the remnants of the fire.

 _So much for that firewood,_ he thought, clutching at his side in sympathy. The ribs beneath his skin ached with every movement but he couldn’t afford to let on just how badly he was hurt. Feeling the older brother’s eye on him, he dropped his hand from his side and resumed packing the bag in front of him. When he was finished, he got to his feet and found Takanori waiting for him.  

“Here, you can carry this,” he ordered, thrusting a heavy bag into his arms. Kohaku suppressed a pained groan and slung the bag over his shoulder.

“And one more thing…”

He waited expectantly for whatever was sure to come next. He half expected another fist to his gut, but the older of the two brothers leaned in close instead and breathed a quiet warning.

“I’m only going to say this once,” he said evenly. “Stay the hell away from my sister.”

 


	27. Chapter 27

An hour’s walk north brought them to the town of Kasukabe, which boasted a single izakaya, a small market for produce (which was closed on account of the approaching storm) and a rustic, two-floored inn. With no other accommodations available, the group headed for the inn and prayed that a room was still available.

The innkeeper was a petite woman with charcoal hair, lined features and dark, narrow eyes. She looked up as they entered, her sharp eyes darting from one face to the next. Rin held her breath, vividly remembering what’d happened the last time she and Kohaku had attempted to stay at a _hatago_.

Takanori stepped forward and the woman tipped her head back to look him in the eye.

“We’d like a room for the night,” he said simply. “There is a storm coming and we won’t make it home before it arrives.”

The innkeeper’s eyes shifted from Takanori to Ryo and then lingered overlong on Kohaku.

“Where is ‘home’?”

“Dewa Province,” the demon slayer jumped in. “We’re returning from Edo.”

Ryo shot him a sharp look that suggested he would shut his mouth if he knew what was good for him. The innkeeper noticed too and sniffed impatiently. She looked at Rin next, her gaze probing and invasive.

“I don’t normally allow so many men to share a room with a lone woman.” The woman smiled thinly at her, but there was no mistaking the judgement in her tone.

“Of course. I would expect nothing less from such a well run establishment,” she replied sweetly with an identical thin smile. “However, these men are my brothers.” She gestured to Takanori and Ryo who confirmed this with a nod.

“And him?”

The innkeeper set her sights once more on Kohaku’s battered features. Ryo opened his mouth to respond, but Rin hurried to reply before he had the chance. “He’s a famous demon slayer who has kindly agreed to rid our village of a terrible demon.”

The innkeeper’s brows rose archly and she studied Kohaku with a calculating look. The woman reminded her of Kaoru – sharp, intelligent and cold. Rin could practically see the wheels inside her head turning. It would be foolish of her to pass on the opportunity to brag about housing a famous demon slayer at her inn. Kohaku’s presence would be the talk of the town for weeks to come and she would revel in the attention.  What better way to improve business and perhaps attract new customers?

“It seems I do have a room available,” the woman decided after a long moment. “Follow me.”

 The innkeeper led them to a small room at the end of the hall. It was spartan, with few decorations, but the hibachi was lit and inside it was warm and dry. Thanking the innkeeper with a bow, Rin stepped quickly over to the hibachi and chaffed her frozen hands next to the small heater. Her brothers and Kohaku followed, each one taking time to thank the innkeeper for her generosity. She informed them that she would return shortly with dinner and then closed the door behind her.

For a moment, no one moved. There wasn’t enough space for privacy and not enough camaraderie to make the room feel welcoming. Kohaku lingered in the entryway looking as though he would rather stay just about anywhere else, while her brothers turned their backs to discuss the present situation in hushed tones.  

Kohaku finally made up his mind to stay and slipped out of his boots. Leaving them by the door, he joined her next to the hibachi and held his hands towards its radiating warmth. She glanced up to find his eyes on her, the expression in them far off as though he were lost in some long distant memory.

“Something wrong?” she whispered so as not to draw her brothers’ attention.

He came back to himself with a shake of his head and sheepishly looked away.

“It’s nothing,” he said, stepping back from the hibachi and her. She moved to follow him, but her brother’s quickly raising voices stopped her.

“It is the only way,” Takanori insisted, stubbornly shaking his head. 

Ryo threw up his arms in protest. “Rin, talk to him – please! Tell him we should stay in Edo for the winter instead of trying to get back home.”

Their elder brother’s eyes narrowed and he expelled a long suffering sigh.

 “I wouldn’t recommend either,” Kohaku intervened, sparing her from having to take sides. “Edo is out of the question on account of the daimyo and the road south is far too dangerous to travel in good weather. With the threat of winter storms it will be a death sentence to go that far.”

“Then what do you suggest? We can’t very well stay here,” Ryo protested and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“My village is a three day journey if we can find some horses.”

Takanori shook his head, firmly against the notion of travelling anywhere that might give Kohaku a tactical advantage. Ryo, on the other hand, seemed at least intrigued by the idea.

“Where do you expect us to find enough coin to buy horses?”

“That pouch you took from my jacket had more than enough,” Kohaku remarked dryly.

Her brother’s face reddened and his hands curled into fists at his sides, “You mean the money you earned from selling girls like my sister?”

Rin’s brows shot up in surprise. What was Ryo talking about? Was that how Kohaku had earned the money he’d used to try and buy her back from the daimyo? Her eyes sliced over to him. He stood rigid with his arms crossed in front of his chest and his jaw clenched tight. His eyes met hers briefly and then looked away. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to put her mind at ease. He’d earned the money some other way, she was certain of it.

With an impressive show of patience, Kohaku ignored her brother’s accusations. “Use the money to buy horses or don’t,” he said with a dismissive shrug. “But the road is treacherous this time of year and the journey is ten times longer on foot.”

Ryo glowered and stepped forward, looking like he was ready for a fight, but Takanori stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Get the horses,” he said, pushing the bag of coins on his brother. “And take him with you.”

Ryo sighed emphatically and tucked the money into his jacket, “Fine. Let’s go.”

Kohaku shot her a questioning look. Could he trust Ryo not to ambush him the moment they got outside? She felt her head nod and a faint reassuring smile touched her lips. That seemed to be all the reassurance he needed. With one last lingering look, he uncrossed his arms and dutifully followed her brother out the door.  

The room went quiet as she and Takanori listened to the receding footsteps of the two men in the hall. Eventually she turned her gaze on him and he wearily dragged a hand over his features.

“Come,” he instructed, lowering himself to the floor. “Sit. They will not be gone long and there is much we need to discuss.”

oOo

He expected a fight. He braced for it with his fists clenched tight at his sides and shoulders raised. Instead, upon exiting the inn he found Ryo leaning casually against the exterior wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest. The boy rubbed a hand through his unevenly cropped hair and nodded in the direction of the shops lining the street.

“Let’s go,” he said, heading down the main road.

Kohaku followed, finding himself at a loss. There were at least a thousand different scenarios he’d considered while planning his reunion with Rin, but he’d never envisioned any of them turning out like this. How could he possibly have anticipated her brothers returning from the dead? And yet here they were, two stubborn, insurmountable obstacles standing between himself and Rin. It didn’t help matters any that they’d decided with a glance that he was completely unworthy of their sister.

He’d known from the beginning that this entire venture was little more than a fool’s errand, but to have come this far and give up now seemed even more foolish. He would continue to fight for her, to show them (and her) that he was the sort of man who might someday be worthy of her. It wasn’t pride that drove him now, but the very real understanding that he could not afford to lose her again. He would find a way, because moving on without her simply wasn’t an option any longer.

Just ahead of him, Ryo drew to a stop before a single-floored wooden structure and glanced speculatively at the weathered sign that indicated it was a stable.

“How much do you know about horses?” he asked without looking back.

“Enough,” Kohaku answered carefully, then followed him into the heavy warmth of the stables.

The sweet smell of hay greeted him as he stepped through door and shook off the cold. Ryo was already standing before a large brown mare, his hand stroking her nose in a soothing gesture.

“How much?” he asked, shooting a hard look at him over his shoulder.

“For the horse?”

The boy shook his head. “How much did you sell my sister to the daimyo for?”

Kohaku expelled a soft sigh and leaned back against the wall. “A season’s worth of rice for my village,” he admitted. There didn’t seem to be any point in lying about it now.

Ryo bowed his head and a shudder travelled down his spine. “Was it worth it?”

“My village will survive the winter, if that’s what you’re asking.”

The horse gave an agitated snort and Ryo stepped back. Kohaku noticed the boy’s hand open, relaxing from the white-knuckled fist it’d been before.

“Did the daimyo fulfil his side of the deal?” The question was disarmingly casual as he walked to the next stall to inspect an older black mare.

Kohaku followed at a safe distance in case Ryo should see fit to grab one of the tools off the wall and stab him with it.

“He did.”

Ryo stopped and abruptly turned towards him. “Then I don’t understand,” he said with a withering look. “You had what you wanted. Why go back for her?”

Kohaku felt his mouth suddenly go dry and his bravado evaporated with it. He raked his fingers through his hair and averted his eyes to the horse chewing hay next to him. “I realized that I’d made a mistake.”

“That’s not the sort of thing you make a mistake about,” the boy replied darkly.

Kohaku said nothing because Ryo was right. Only a fool could look love in the eye, hold it between his hands, and then give it away. Had he only known then what he did now, had he only possessed the courage to turn their horse around, how differently things might have turned out. He opened his mouth to explain, to apologize, but at that moment the stable master entered and he went silent.

Ryo negotiated with the man on a price for three horses while they moved from stall to stall, inspecting each beast until he’d chosen three suitable mares. The stable master eyed a fourth horse, a gelding, and asked if they didn’t want it as well. Ryo looked eager but Kohaku firmly shook his head.

“That one has a lame foot. Thank you, but we’ll stick with these.”

Ryo lifted a brow, appearing vaguely impressed. He retrieved the bag of coins from inside his jacket and handed over the necessary amount to the stable master, who thanked them profusely for their patronage and retreated with a series of deep bows.

“Where did you get so much?” Ryo asked, inspecting what was left in the bag.

“Will you believe me if I tell you?”

He shrugged, “I might.”

“I killed about two dozen demons which, as it turns out, is significantly less trouble than selling girls.”

Ryo smirked and tossed the bag of coins to him. Kohaku caught it, unable to contain his look of surprise.

“You worked for it. It’s yours,” he explained, looking about as agreeable as Kohaku had seen him.

With their horses stabled for the night and the rest of the town closed down, there was little else to do but return to the inn. The street was already covered in a thin layer of snow. By morning everything would be buried beneath a deep layer of white. Kohaku eyed the bank of heavy grey clouds lingering overhead. Perhaps they wouldn’t be leaving this town as soon as they’d hoped.

“There’s something I want to know.”

Ryo’s words drew his attention and he nodded for him to go on.

“Of all the girls in Kyoto, why her?”

A faint, knowing smile crossed his lips. “Did you know she’s a painter?”  

The boy shook his head and glanced briefly at the window of their shared room. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Kohaku reached inside his jacket and withdrew a worn sheet of paper.

“This was hanging on the wall of her room at the brothel,” he explained and then offered the sheet to him. The boy accepted it with a curious look while he continued onward towards the welcoming warmth of the inn.

Ryo joined him inside a few moments later. They shared a quick, uncertain glance in the entryway and then the boy pressed the painting into his hand and retreated down the hall. Kohaku watched after him and wondered if things would be different between them now. Given his run of luck as of late it didn’t seem likely, but he clung to a faint glimmer of hope. Expelling a world weary sigh, he asked the gods for patience and then made his way to the inn’s onsen for a much needed bath.

oOo

Rin tied her hair up in a hasty bun and then slid open the exterior door leading to the _rotenburo_. Before her was a stunning snowy landscape, dotted at intervals by dark, steaming pools that promised tension melting warmth. A relaxing soak sounded like just the remedy she needed. Between her brothers and Kohaku and her lingering feelings over Sesshomaru, it felt as though her heart was being pulled in a hundred different directions. She needed time to herself to gain a bit of clarity without memories or feelings or stubborn brothers trying to bend her to their will.

With the crisp night air burning in her lungs, she hurried along the cool, wet stones toward the nearest pool. The wind picked up just then, scattering the sulphur scented steam that hung in the air, and her feet drew to a sudden halt. Before her Kohaku sat half-submerged in a pool, his fingers prodding delicately at his ribs. She took a hesitant step closer and her eyes went wide. From the middle of his chest to somewhere beneath the waterline his skin was a patchwork of blue and purple.

“Is that all from this morning?” she gasped, struggling to find her voice.

He glanced up sheepishly and shifted lower into the water to hide the worst of the bruising from view.

“Not all of it,” he reassured her as she slipped into the pool’s dark waters. “This one’s from a monkey demon.”

He pointed to a fresh red scar that cut across his left shoulder and she felt her stomach turn. How was it possible that he’d kept this hidden? She exhaled a shuddering breath as her fingers hovered over his skin, afraid to touch him anywhere for fear of causing more pain.

“How bad is it?”

“I’ll manage.” His lips pressed together in a thin white line as he shifted positions and she shook her head in disbelief.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have given you something for the pain or made you rest!”

“Exactly.”

His face was set in a grim mask as he brushed the damp hair back off his forehead.

“Your brothers have enough issues with me without adding ‘burden’ to the list and I can’t afford to take anything that might dull my senses. I’ll be fine.”

“Is their opinion that important to you? I’ll talk to them! I’ll make them see reason-”

She rose to go and Kohaku’s hand shot out, wrapping around her wrist to hold her in place.

“It’s foolish, I know, but it’s a matter of pride. If they accept me I want it to be on my own merits, not out of a sense of duty to you.”

When he released her she reluctantly returned to the pool’s warm waters.

“You’re a fool,” she said without any vehemence. “At least promise me you’ll take it easy until you’ve healed a little.”

He nodded and braved a smile that was only slightly marred by his still-swollen bottom lip.

“What were you doing fighting a monkey demon anyway?”

“I _am_ a demon slayer,” he replied with an amused quirk of his brow.

She frowned and drew her knees into her chest. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I needed to earn money and the fastest way to do that was by killing demons.”

So, that was where the money had come from. For a moment she stared unseeingly at the pool’s dark waters and then he lifted his hand to rub at the back of his neck. From that angle she caught sight of the jagged red scar that was normally hidden beneath his leather cuff. It was ugly and disfiguring, an angry streak that cut down an otherwise perfectly formed arm. He’d gotten that scar by running head first into a pack of hungry wolves to protect her and now there were countless others to match it. His body was testament to what he was willing to sacrifice for her, a naked reminder that no matter the odds he’d never stopped fighting for her.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely, blinking tears from her eyes as she lifted them to his. He gave a nod, offering her a melancholy smile before turning his gaze to the canopy of stars overhead.

“There’s something I need to say to you and I might not have another chance…”

She tightened her arms around her knees and nodded for him to go on.

“As children, demon slayers are raised with the keen understanding that death spares no one. When a slayer heads into battle they are prepared for it to be their last. We take an oath not to leave with regret in our hearts, words left unspoken or deeds undone and for the first time in my life I have broken that oath.”

Kohaku expelled a weighted sigh and dragged a weary hand over his features before continuing.

“There aren’t many things that I regret in my life, Rin, but I regret you. Not meeting you, I will never regret that, but everything that happened after. Every time your life was put in danger, every time I pushed you away…”

His voice softened as shame and self-loathing coated each word. “I will regret bringing you to the daimyo for as long as I live. I’ve dreamt about that day every night since – reliving the moment they took you, seeing the look of fear in your eyes, hearing the echo of your voice as you called to me for help... I stood there and watched those guards drag you away and like a coward I did _nothing_!” He broke off with a sharp sound of disgust and raked his fingers through his hair.

His eyes met hers then and she understood with a glance why he’d gone to the lengths he had to buy her freedom. Guilt was a heavy burden, one she knew all too well. Every dream she’d had about her family since the night of the attack was fraught with thoughts of what she might’ve done differently. Who might she have saved if she’d been the slightest bit stronger or braver? Could she have spared Takuya? Her parents? Her niece who was too young to even have a name? She knew well just how bitter regret could taste and how easily it could destroy you.

With a gentle hand against his cheek she tried to soothe away some of his pain. “You’re not a coward.”

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” he maintained, his expression hard.

With her fingertips she gently traced the length of the scar on his forearm and then continued further, her hand brushing delicately over several newer scars until it found his other cheek. She spoke her next words to him with unwavering certainty. 

“Yes, you do.”

He wearily closed his eyes and leaned into her touch as the fight left him in a single exhale. His eyes were soft when he opened them again, the expression in them warm and familiar. 

“I do have one more regret,” he said apologetically as his hand stole hers away. He pressed a brief kiss to her palm and then entwined his fingers with hers. Her brow furrowed as she caught sight of the sudden apprehension in his gaze.

“What is it?”

“I never told you how I felt - how I feel - about you. At first I thought it would be best, maybe even easier, so I hid the truth beneath excuses like ‘duty’ and ‘honour’. I told myself that my responsibility to my village had to come first. I even managed to deceive myself into thinking that my feelings for you weren’t real. But that morning I brought you to the daimyo I knew that I’d been wrong about all of it.”

“Leaving you behind in Edo very nearly destroyed me,” he admitted, expelling a shaky sigh as his thumb stroked across the back of her hand where they were still entwined. “I thought I would never see you again, never hold you close, or hear the sound of your laughter. I couldn’t bear it.”

Her mouth opened and closed, but no words emerged. Was it possible that he felt as she did? That he’d longed for her and dreamt of her just as she had of him? In his eyes were all the answers she sought, the truth she’d been blind to until this very moment.

“Rin…”

He sounded broken and desperate, his tone pleading for understanding. With an incredulous shake of her head she drew close until her lips ghosted over his. His fingers curled against the underside of her jaw, his touch licking at her skin like fire, and she slid weightlessly onto his lap. Almost 100 days had passed since his lips last touched hers and she couldn’t bear to wait a single moment longer.

Their first hesitant touch was like a spark that ignited them from the inside out. With a soft moan his mouth opened under hers and his hand cupped her head, pulling her against him. This was what she’d imagined doing when she saw him again, not running from soldiers, or saving him from being hanged, or playing mediator between he and her brothers, simply this – holding him close, breathing him in and remembering the taste of his lips.

This moment, this kiss, they hardly seemed real. They swept her up until the steady thrum of her heart in her ears became too loud to ignore and she pulled away to catch her breath. His hands skimmed down the length of her spine as though he couldn’t bear to stop touching her.

 “Come with your brothers to my village,” he urged. “Stay the winter. If you want to return home once spring arrives, I’ll take you.”

His offer was tempting, but it wasn’t only her decision anymore. Takanori had reminded her of that fact earlier in the day and the conversation hadn’t ended well. Her stubborn older brother wasn’t used to her arguing with him, much less pointing out that he was being a boorish idiot. 

“My brother wants to part ways with you come morning.”

“What do you want?”

It was so rare that anyone asked her what she wanted. In her heart it was clear. She glanced over at him and felt her heart turn in her chest. _I want you._ The words hovered on the precipice of her lips but she couldn’t find the courage to speak them aloud.

“I’m sorry. It’s not an easy question is it?”

Kohaku gave her an understanding look then brushed a loose strand of hair from her shoulder. A jolt of pleasure spread out from the spot where he’d touched until it tingled at the very tips of her toes.

“I should head in before my brothers get suspicious,” she said with a reluctant glance at the door.

His head tilted forward, searching out her lips for another kiss but she held him off with a smile.

“I’m glad you come back for me,” she whispered, hooking her hands around his neck. “I’ll talk with my brothers. Just give me time.”

His entire body seemed to exhale and he leaned back against the edge of the pool looking completely drained.

“I’ll see you inside,” he promised with a faint, encouraging smile.

She pressed a brief, warm kiss to his lips, then summoned every ounce of willpower she possessed to step out of the pool and scurry back inside without him.

 

* * *

 

 _Author’s Note:_ I had a question in my reviews about the ages of everyone involved, so I thought I’d post them in my reply in case others were curious. When Rin met the daimyo the first time, she told him she was “in her seventeenth year,” meaning she’s 16. Kohaku is 19. Takanori is 22 and Ryo is 17. Their older brother Takuya would have been 24 when he died. Rin was abducted when she was 15. Just for perspective, the average age of marriage for peasant women in the period was 14-16 years old (with some regional variations).


	28. Chapter 28

They waited three days in Kasukabe for the winter snow to clear. Three days of being all but trapped inside with no one except Kohaku, her brothers and the innkeeper for company. The glares that had cut across the room, particularly from Takanori’s corner, were sharp enough to slice through bamboo, but hardly a word was said. Ryo, she’d noticed, wasn’t as hostile as their eldest brother and she wondered if something hadn’t happened while he was out with Kohaku.

She’d done her best to mend fences, sitting between them, inviting them into polite conversation, pointing out common interests, but neither side would be swayed. And so they had bided their time until the storm let up enough to permit travel. She’d expected a fight when it came time to determine which direction they should travel. Despite all logic and wisdom, Takanori stubbornly refused to venture farther north to Kohaku’s village. He appealed to Ryo only to find their younger brother with his eyes downcast, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“We should go to the demon slayer’s village,” he implored. “We’ll never make it back in this snow.”

It was little secret where Kohaku’s opinion lay, or hers for that matter, which meant Takanori was left annoyed and outnumbered. He accepted defeat with a scowl and spent the next hour packing and grumbling about the disloyalty of family.

They left Kasukabe on horseback with the arrival of the dawn. Mist was still curling off the rooftops and the air held the frigid crispness that chills your lungs when you breathe it in. Kohaku had told her while packing their bags that they weren’t far from his village, just a few days. If they could make before another storm hit, they would have somewhere safe to rest for the winter. The thought of having a home once more, however temporary, warmed her to her core. This was what she had dreamt of night after night for a year – she and her brothers, reunited again under a single roof.

Reason dawned on her, creeping in unexpectedly like the first winter frost to steal away her smile. If she and her brothers lived together under one roof, there would be no hope for her relationship with Kohaku to blossom into anything more than what it was now. They’d shared a kiss in the onsen, he cared for her, but that was a far cry from wanting to take a girl as a wife and her brothers would be satisfied with nothing less. And she could hardly fault them - it was their duty as her brothers now that their father was gone to find her a good match.

But while her brothers were concerned with evaluating Kohaku’s worth as a potential suitor, her thoughts were very much focused on whether she was a suitable prospect for him. How would his family see her? No doubt as an outsider who spoke a different dialect and knew nothing of their way of life. And her previous employment made it impossible to argue that she was a virgin or respectable. Kohaku may not mind, but his family certainly would. How could they ever consider her to be a prospective wife given her past?

The reality of her situation was a harsh one and it weighed heavily upon her, keeping her silent for much of the journey. She closed her eyes and leaned back against Kohaku’s chest, thankful for the support it offered. His arm tightened around her midsection and he pressed a secretive kiss into her hair. By now he would have cracked at least a few jokes into her ear to ease the weariness of travel, but this morning he had been quiet as well. She wondered if his thoughts were the same as her own. Was he re-thinking the wisdom of bringing her and her brothers to his village? Or perhaps he was re-considering whether she was worth such hassle.

The sudden halt of their horse jerked her from her melancholy thoughts. Kohaku had pulled their horse to a stop at the edge of the frozen river and was leaning forward in the saddle to inspect the shore. She followed his gaze down to the remains of a wooden bridge. The winter storm had torn it apart at the seams and pieces of it were lodged deep in the ice.

“It happens every winter,” Kohaku said by way of explanation. “We rebuild it each spring when the ice thaws.”

He held up his hand and her brothers drew their horses to a halt beside them.

“Is it safe to cross?” Ryo wondered, with a glance at the remains of the bridge.

“The ice is usually thick enough to cross on foot,” Kohaku explained, jumping down from the saddle. “I’m not so sure about how it’ll hold up to three horses though.”

He reached up and helped her down from the saddle. Takanori’s eyes narrowed, but she ignored him and turned in Kohaku’s arms to look out at the wide, frozen expanse of the Abukuma River. It looked as hard and unmoving as rock, but she trusted Kohaku’s instincts. He knew this land better than they could ever hope to and if he was wary about this crossing then they had cause to be wary too.

Leaving the horse’s reins in her hands, he moved to the edge of the river and hacked into the ice along the shoreline with his knife. A small piece came way and he held it up. It was about as thick as a man’s palm and solid. Kohaku frowned as he tossed it away and tucked his knife back into his belt.

“It might be okay, but I think we should take turns. Let me cross first and if it is safe, I’ll tell you to follow.”

Ryo blew out an impatient sigh and jumped down from his horse. Takanori silently followed suit.

Rin glanced nervously at the river and discretely put her hand overtop of Kohaku’s when he took the horse’s reins from her.

“Be careful,” she pleaded. A worried frown formed between her brows and he offered her a reassuring look.

“It’ll be fine. I’m just being overly cautious,” he said with an easy smile and then led the horse towards the river with a light cluck.

Kohaku’s first steps across the river were tentative. He tested the ice with each step before putting his full weight down. The horse snorted impatiently but matched his cautious pace. It felt like an eternity had passed before his feet touched solid ground on the other side. Rin exhaled the breath she’d been holding and smiled with relief.

Kohaku tied his horse up on the opposite bank and then returned for her. She was happy to have an excuse to slip her arm through his and smiled nervously as he led her step-by-careful-step across the river to the other side. She turned back to watch Ryo’s crossing next, her heart planted firmly in her throat. He brushed a hand nervously through his short-cropped hair and then took hold of his beast’s reins, leading it slowly onto the ice. He made the perilous journey, horse in tow, with his face twisted into an expression of hyper-concentration. When his feet reached the frozen ground on their side of the river he blew out a long sigh and grinned as if it had been no trouble at all.

“No problem at all,” he boasted, but Rin saw behind his bravado. He was damn happy to have made it across without any problems and a good thing, too. None of them were swimmers. Having spent their entire life at the base of a mountain, the closest they’d ever gotten to swimming was lounging chest-deep in a hot spring. An icy cold river was another matter entirely.

With everyone but Takanori safely across, they all turned to watch his progress. He looked bored and impatient as he pulled his horse forward and led it onto the ice. He made it about half-way before the beast suddenly stopped. Takanori pulled its reins, gently rubbed its nose and clucked at it but the horse refused to move. It snorted and pawed at the ice uneasily with its hoof.

She heard Kohaku suck in a breath next to her. He had his eyes fixed on Takanori and was already moving towards the ice.

“Keep walking,” he instructed with a casual wave of his hand. “I’ll get the horse.”

Takanori cast him a disparaging look and continued talking to the beast, trying to coax it forward. He pulled the reins once more and the horse reared up, slamming its hooves onto the ice. A loud crack sounded and Kohaku and Takanori both froze.

“Don’t move,” Kohaku called to him. “Don’t you dare move.”

Takanori was wise enough to listen. He stood as still as a statue, his entire body rigid as the ice fractured like spider-webs beneath his feet.

“If you want to make it back, listen to my next instructions very carefully,” Kohaku shouted, his voice sounding calm despite the circumstances.

Takanori nodded ever so slightly.

“When you’re ready, slide your foot real slow across the ice. Don’t put your weight down until the ice feels secure. If it’s still cracking don’t move at all, understand?”

Takanori nodded and did just as Kohaku told him, sliding one foot and then another forward.

“Okay, that’s good,” Kohaku shouted encouragingly. “Keep going, nice and slow.”

Takanori moved three excruciatingly slow paces, and then five. Rin felt her heart in the back of her throat and struggled to breathe around it. The horse was still stranded in the centre of the ice, refusing to move either forward or back. It snorted and stamped its paw in frustration, eager to be off the frozen river as well.

The horse suddenly neighed loudly and Takanori started, his feet sliding out from under him. His back hit the ice with an audible thud and then he was gone. They stared in silence at the spot where his body had been a bare few seconds before. In his place was a jagged black hole in the ice.

Ryo and Kohaku cursed in unison and ran to the edge of the river. Ryo was shouting Takanori’s name, trying to get him to answer while Kohaku was unhooking his belt and sliding the bag from his shoulders.

“What are you doing?!” her brother demanded as Kohaku stripped off his clothes.

“I’m going in after him,” he said plainly, “Unless you rather I let him drown?”

Ryo’s open-mouthed silence was answer enough. Kohaku shoved his belongings into her arms and then slid out across the ice to the hole.

“How long do you think someone can last under there?” Ryo wondered as he stared aghast at the patch of dark water where Kohaku had just disappeared.

Rin shook her head. She didn’t know, but she had to imagine it wasn’t long. Her fingers tightened around Kohaku’s clothes, still warm from being on his body. Her eyes remained fixed on the hole in the ice, unable to look away. What would she and Ryo do if they didn’t resurface? What could they do? Ryo paced restlessly back and forth, clawing his hands through his hair.

“Curse the gods, Takanori! You better find your way to this side of the river or so help me I’ll…”

A splash and a gasp came from the hole in the ice and Ryo rushed back to the river’s edge. Kohaku’s head popped up and a moment later he lifted Takanori’s limp form out of the water. He managed to get him onto the ice and then pushed him towards the shore.  

Ryo ran forward to help but Kohaku shouted for him to stop.

“The ice can’t support all three of us. Stay on shore or I’ll be dragging your body out of the river next!”

Ryo scowled and fisted his hands at his sides. He hated to feel useless and in this moment that was exactly how both of them felt – useless and helpless.

“Go get some firewood,” Rin ordered without tearing her eyes from the river.

When Ryo hesitated she raised her voice. “If we don’t warm them up, they’ll die from the cold. Go! Now!”

Ryo didn’t argue. Relieved to at last be useful, he ran into the trees to find anything dry they could use to start a fire. Rin waited on the shore, watching and pacing as Kohaku slowly crawled across the ice and away from the hole, dragging Takanori behind him. When they’d made it onto a stronger patch of ice, he rose unsteadily to his feet and hooked his arms under Takanori, dragging him the rest of the way to the shore.

“He’s not breathing,” Kohaku said without preamble once they arrived at the shoreline. Rin stared wide-eyed at her brother’s face. His skin was as white as the belly of a fish and his lips had turned a pale shade of blue.

“I sent Ryo to get firewood,” she stammered, her voice shaking. “What can I do?”

 “Help me move him onto his side.”

She dropped to her knees and set down Kohaku’s clothes. Together they rolled Takanori onto his side and Kohaku thumped him solidly on the back.

“Come on, breathe,” he urged, hitting him again, “Breathe!”

“Takanori, please!” she begged, rubbing frantically at his arms. “Please come back!”

One more solid hit sent a flood of water rushing out of her brother’s nose and mouth. He coughed and gagged, spitting up more river water before pulling in a heavy breath. They sat him up so that he could breathe more easily and his eyes snapped open in wide-eyed shock. He looked from face to face, thoroughly startled to find himself soaking wet, freezing cold and lying on the edge of a river.

“You’re okay!” Rin cried, throwing her arms around him. “You’re going to be okay!”

Takanori’s arm settled across her back as a look of relief washed over his features. His eyes met the dark-eyed gaze of the nearly-naked and equally soaked demon slayer and he nodded in silent gratitude. Kohaku bent to retrieve his shirt and pants from the ground and glanced down the shoreline.

“Where’s Ryo with that firewood?”

All three of them looked up just as he man in question came into view with an armload of mostly dry branches and small sticks.

“This was all I could find,” he said breathlessly. His voice trailed off as his eyes went to Takanori who still had Rin’s arms wrapped around him.

 “He’s fine, but we need to get that fire going otherwise-”

Ryo didn’t give Kohaku a chance to finish. He tossed his load of branches to the ground and wrapped  his arms around him in a grateful hug. Kohaku’s brows rose and he exchanged a surprised look with Rin. She looked pleased by Ryo’s change of heart and Kohaku relaxed, patting the younger of her brothers on the back.

“You’re as cold as ice!” Ryo declared, pulling away.

“I’ll get the fire going,” Kohaku said with as much authority as he could muster while shivering violently. “Help Takanori get out of those wet clothes.”

“Take off his clothes? But it’s snowing!”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Kohaku remarked dryly as his numbed figures struggled to hold his flint. “You’ll need to take yours off too.”

Ryo pulled at his dry shirt with a look of confusion, “But mine aren’t wet.”

“It doesn’t matter. Your brother needs the warmth of your body to heat his blood. The fire will do it too quickly and he’ll die, understand?”

Ryo didn’t protest any further and pulled off his shirt and pants. He slung them over his horse’s saddle and then picked his way over to where Takanori was sitting.

“You’re lucky you’re my brother,” he muttered. “If you were anyone else I’d let you freeze.”

Takanori narrowed his eyes at him, but the intensity of the shivers racking his body made any sort of snide retort impossible.  Ryo followed Kohaku’s directions and lay down behind Takanori, wrapping his arms around him.

“How long do we have to stay like this?” he asked, looking uncomfortably cold.

“Until he stops shivering enough that he can talk.”

Kohaku turned his attention back to the fire and managed to get a small flame lighted with his flint. He looked relieved as the small pile of dry leaves and grass took and grew into something sustainable.

“What about you,” Rin asked, as she added a few small sticks to the fledgling fire.

He was cold enough that his hands were visibly shaking. Noticing her gaze, he chaffed them together and attempted a smile.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Of course,” she conceded, “but you’ll be better with a little help.”

She slipped off the small jacket she was wearing and laid it down atop the snow covered ground. Next she undid the obi at her waist and let the sides of her kimono fall open, revealing the thin yukata underneath.

“Lay down,” she said with as much authority as she could muster and to her surprise Kohaku obeyed.  Perhaps he was too cold to argue. His skin had gone stark pale, making each of his bruises stand out against this skin. Shades of purple and yellow coloured his ribs and torso, some of it caused by her brothers, some of it by his own recklessness.

Swallowing down any nervousness, she lay down on top of him and slipped his arms beneath her outer kimono. They folded across her back, holding her tight against him as she lay with her head against the side of his neck. It was only now that they were like this, with their bodies pressed close, that she realized just how badly he’d been shivering.

“Thank you for saving him,” she said and ran her hand across the chilled skin of his chest.

He seemed to laugh softly and his lips brushed against her forehead in the softest of gestures.

“You’re welcome.”

After a moment she added, “Well, I think you did it.”

“What’s that?” His teeth chattered over each consonant sound and she chaffed her hands against the cool skin of his arms.

“Changed their opinion of you.”

He chuckled lightly and then expelled a quiet sigh. “I hope you’re right.”


	29. Chapter 29

The sound of the horse’s hooves was deafening, like thunder rolling down the mountainside. She crouched low, ducking her head beneath her arms. All around her men were in the throes of battle. Swords clashed against one another, sparking in the early morning light. Blood sprayed from the wounded while others howled their final death cries.

It wasn’t difficult to find him in the middle of all that chaos. His white robes stood out from the muted palate of the other warriors. Even outnumbered as he was, he moved gracefully cutting down one man and then the next. He showed no signs of exhaustion, but she knew the awful truth - even a demon as powerful as he couldn’t fight forever.

Anxious pleas slipped from her lips in desperate cracks and whispers. They were hardly words at all, but a mantra, a prayer. Let him live. Please, let him live. Her arms wrapped tight around her body, holding her in place as she rocked back and forth. Please. Please. Please. Amid the chaos his eyes met hers. They glowed like fiery amber in the morning’s light. She was still watching when an enemy’s sword found home in his chest. His body jerked unnaturally forward, pulled by the blade as its owner sought to dislodge it. She watched, unblinking, unmoving, as he fell to his knees.  Her legs refused to move, refused to run to his side. They may as well have been made of stone and rooted to the earth for all the good they did her.

The soldiers surrounded him, blocking her view of those eyes that reminded her of liquid honey, and lifted their swords to deal him a final blow. There was no time. No time to run. No time to scream. The enemy’s blades descended and in that moment her world stopped its motion. Her lungs drew no breath. Her heart dared not beat. And her throat closed up tight, silencing her cry.  His guttural groan and the sickening thump of his lifeless body hitting the earth echoed across the battlefield to haunt her for countless nights to come.

He was gone. Sesshomaru…he was...

Rin awoke with a start, her lungs gasping for air. Still caught up within her dream, she squirmed and fought against the arms that held her tight, hitting any soft place that she could find. The arms tightened their hold and a voice shushed softly in her ear.

She recognized that voice. The sound of Kohaku’s gentle reassurances soothed away the fear bit by bit. She focused on the sound of his voice and the soft caress of his breath against the side of her neck. Little by little her breaths slowed and became even. When she felt like herself again, she lifted her head to find him studying her with a concerned furrow in his brow. His gaze was piercing, even in the dark.

“You had a nightmare,” he explained and she glanced around their small campsite. Ryo snored loudly and turned over, muttering in his sleep. She exhaled a quiet sigh and settled back down next to him. 

“What was it about?” he whispered.

“I don’t remember,” she lied and drew small patterns on his chest with her fingertip. His hands moved slowly down her back, soothing her as she’d seen him do to his mare when she became restless.

“How do I know this isn’t a dream?” she asked softly.

 “What do you mean?”

“What if I wake up in the morning and find myself back in Edo?”

“Do you mean to say that you dream of having me beaten within an inch of my life?” he teased and she could hear the grin behind his words.

She snickered quietly and poked his ribs with her finger. “Only sometimes.”

“Well, I suppose that is better than all the time. I’ll have to see if I can do something about that.”

She smiled at his words. If this was in fact a dream, it was one she never wanted to wake up from. She was content to stay at this makeshift camp for the rest of her days if it meant she could be surrounded by the people she loved most.

Kohaku shifted and wrapped his arms more fully around her.

“Rin, I promise you this is no dream. Tomorrow when you wake your brothers and I will be here.”

“How can I be sure?” she asked, feeling her throat close up. She couldn’t bear the thought of waking up alone. It frightened her more than the nightmares. More than any bandits or soldiers or frozen rivers.

Kohaku motioned for her to lay her head atop his chest.

“Listen closely,” he said softly. “Do you hear it?”

She closed her eyes and listened. Beneath her cheek his heart beat a steady rhythm, its measured counts a reassuring reminder that he was alive and well despite all that her brothers had put him through.

“I hear it.”

“Good. Keep listening. As long as you can hear that beat, you won’t have to be afraid.”

The sound of his heart and the warmth of his embrace soothed her until her head began to swim.

“Kohaku?” she whispered, when her mind was on the edge of sleep once more.

He ‘Hmm’d?’ in response and she smiled at the way the sound reverberated through his chest.

“I never did thank you for saving me from the Shogun’s men.”

The hand that had been gently stroking her back paused and he exhaled softly before continuing.

“You’re welcome,” he answered, but she was already asleep.

oOo

The trek to Kohaku’s village felt relatively easy compared to their near-death experience at the river. The winter snows abated enough that they were able to make a good pace the rest of the way on horseback. The smell of wood smoke was strong in the air when Kohaku suddenly pulled their horses to a stop. A sudden anxious look crossed his features and he shifted the horse’s reins from one hand to the other. He stared down the narrow dirt road that would lead them into his village as though he weren’t entirely certain he wanted to go down it.

“Are we here?” she inquired, though she was certain she already knew the answer.  

He nodded and attempted a reassuring smile. “Stay close and don’t say anything,” he called over his shoulder to her brothers. “We don’t often have visitors, so the others will be wary of strangers.”

Her brothers obediently moved their horses to fall in step behind his. Since the river, neither had questioned Kohaku’s orders. Ryo seemed eager to hang on just about every word the demon slayer said, but Takanori’s love was not so easily won. Though he was grateful to Kohaku for saving his life, that one act alone did not make them friends. Still, there had been a marked change in his attitude since the river. He no longer spent long hours glaring daggers at Kohaku across the fire or making disparaging remarks about him under his breath, and that was something of an improvement.

It had always been that way with her brother. From the time they were children he was always the more serious of the group. Takanori was focused, loyal, and deeply sensitive. Making friends for him was a chore fraught with anxiety, stress and awkward social encounters. It wasn’t easy for him like it was for the others. His mind judged too quickly and his words never seemed to come out the way he’d hoped they would. Things improved remarkably as he became older, but there were some parts of Takanori she was certain would never change and his stubbornness was one of them.

Until he decided otherwise, nothing would convince him that Kohaku was worthy of his favour. No amount of pleading or tears or violence would work. It was aggravating beyond all measure, but she knew better than most how his mind worked. He would come around in his own time. And they were sure to have plenty of it once they were in Kohaku’s village for the winter.

Clucking softly, Kohaku nudged their horse forward in a slow walk and tightened his arm around her waist.

“Should I be worried?” she asked softly enough so that only he would hear.

 “Not if I have anything to say about it. Whatever happens, stay on the horse.”

She kept her eyes ahead, fixated on the wooden palisade walls of his village. It was rare to see a village so well protected, but perhaps there were many demons this far north. Or perhaps they were not all that fond of outsiders. The village appeared empty. With the exception of a few huts trickling grey smoke into the air, there wasn’t a single sign of life anywhere. Then they heard it.

“KOHAKU!”

Kohaku stiffened behind her and turned in his saddle toward the voice. Before them stood a woman dressed in attire unlike anything she’d ever seen. She wore pants like a man that were tight to her skin, and armour that protected her shoulders and chest. Mystified, Rin stared at the large yellow object the woman held in her hands. It was larger than her by nearly a head and looked as though it weighed a ton. Was it some sort of tool? Something to help irrigate the fields, perhaps? It didn’t take long for her to find out.

Reaching behind her, the woman tossed the object at them. It spun end over end, rushing towards them at an alarmingly fast rate. Her brothers shouted and then she was falling backwards off her horse. She landed solidly atop Kohaku in the dirt and struggled to catch her breath. Despite breaking her fall, Kohaku was much quicker to recover than she was and scrambled to his feet.

“Are you insane?” he shouted at the woman who was once more swinging her large yellow weapon above her head. “You could have killed us!”

“Serves you right,” she shouted back and tossed the weapon at him a second time. Kohaku’s reaction was instinctual. He drew his short sword and deflected the boomerang upwards, knocking it off its path. The woman scowled and drew her own sword from the sheath at her side and crouched into a fighting stance.

“Sango,” he pleaded, even as they circled one another. “Is this really necessary?”

“I don’t know, Kohaku. Was leaving us months ago without so much as a word really necessary? Was leaving me here to wonder after you, sick with grief at the thought you might be dead, really _necessary_?”

Sango didn’t wait for Kohaku’s reply before launching at him. He defended himself well, but she managed to knick his shoulder with her blade deep enough to draw blood.

“I didn’t plan to be gone that long,” Kohaku protested, even as he fought off her next flurry of attacks.

“Oh, so you’re just an inconsiderate dolt then? How lucky am I to have such a brother!”

“I’m sorry, Sango! I wanted to contact you, but I didn’t have the chance.”

“You didn’t-” Her face contorted into an angry scowl and she dropped low, kicking his legs out from under him. She was on top of him less than a second later, pinning his arms and legs to the ground.

“What was so important that you couldn’t let your sister know you were alive?”

Kohaku glanced over to where Rin stood in awe next to their horse. Sango’s gaze followed and her features immediately flushed with embarrassment. She got up slowly, freeing Kohaku from beneath her, and brushed her hair back off her face.  

Rin flinched as the girl headed straight for her, nervously eyeing the katana held menacingly in her hand. So much for first impressions! The girl came to a stop in front of her and slid the blade neatly into its sheath with a sharp ‘click’.

“I’m Sango,” she said sounding far calmer than she had only a moment ago. “And you are?”

Her voice was smooth and rich when not tainted by the shrillness of anger. Up close she was very beautiful, taller than most women, with high cheek bones and large dark eyes. She kept her hair tied up high on her head and Rin admired the rich, dark strands that skimmed the metal shoulder plates of her armour.

“Rin.”

Sango nodded and her gaze swept over her, assessing her from head to toe. When she was finished she cast a dismissive glance at Takanori and Ryo, deciding they were either not a threat or not worth her time. Her mouth flattened into a thin line and she stepped back. Rounding on Kohaku, she stalked past him to collect her large weapon from the dirt. She strapped it across her back and then turned to the four of them with an impatient sigh.

“Well, you’re here. You may as well come in.”

Her brothers exchanged nervous glances. One thing was clear – the only reason either of them were still standing was because Kohaku had chosen not to kill them when they’d ambushed him in the forest. If they'd thought his skills were impressive, they were nothing compared to Sango's.

Their horses went on ahead and Kohaku helped her back up into the saddle. Sango drew close as he took hold of the reins and gave him a stern look.

“You better have a damn good reason for bringing outsiders into our village,” she warned.

Kohaku shrugged off his sister’s warning and watched her storm ahead of them through the gate.

“It seems we both have siblings with tempers,” she said, hoping to ease the tension.

He gave a noncommittal grunt, but she saw the hint of a smile on his lips. Taking hold of the reins, he clucked softly and walked their horse through the village gates.


	30. Chapter 30

The village behind the palisade walls was small and quiet. There couldn’t have been more than twenty or thirty huts spread throughout the area, each well tended to and of a moderate size. It reminded Rin of her own village in some ways, but features like the high walls and countless racks holding weapons of all shapes and sizes were stark reminders of just how different they were.

Sango wordlessly led them to a hut along the main road that looked slightly grander than the rest. It was elevated on short stilts and had a set of stairs that led up to a wooden porch and the main door. Kohaku helped her down off their horse, managing to wince only slightly on account of the cut on his shoulder.

“We should bandage that,” Rin said with an eye on the blood trickling down his arm.

He agreed with a reluctant sigh and inclined his head in the direction of the stairs leading to the door, “After you.”

Inside the hut was simply decorated. The main room was a large open space with a good-sized hearth at its centre. Surrounding the hearth were square tatami mats and beyond that a smooth, wooden floor. Kohaku led her in the direction of the kitchen while her brothers gingerly sat upon cushions laid next to the hearth.

Sango was preparing tea in the kitchen when they entered. Her eyes followed them to a short table near the shouji doors that led out to the porch while her hands tore apart dried tea leaves for the pot.

Rin could only imagine what Sango thought of her. If their positions were reversed, she would have no fewer than a dozen questions for the strange girl who appeared unexpectedly at the village gate with her brother and two strange men in tow. But she didn’t presume to know anything about the girl standing stoically a few feet away, especially when she hadn’t spoken a single word since their arrival in the village. 

Kohaku set some fresh water and bandages atop the table and Rin was only too eager to divert her attention to a task that had almost become comforting in its familiarity. Kohaku in need of mending was a scene that had become all too familiar during their travels together. Only now she tended him in the safety of his family home, in a village located farther north than she’d ever thought she would travel in her lifetime. It felt surreal and unsettling to be so far removed from the world she knew, but the warmth of Kohaku’s skin beneath her hands set her at ease.

The cut on his shoulder wasn’t deep, but it was stubborn. She carefully dabbed at the edges of the wound to mop up the blood, all the time aware that there was an extra set of eyes watching her. She was thorough, perhaps more thorough than she needed to be, but she didn’t want to give Sango any reason to dislike her. In the end it mattered little - by the time she was ready for the bandages Sango had already departed with the tray of tea. Rin lifted her eyes instead to Kohaku’s and saw a familiar teasing gleam in their depths.

“It seems like you’re always putting me back together,” he said while looking more at ease than she’d seen him in days. 

“You don’t leave me much choice,” she remarked dryly and tied off the bandage around his shoulder with one last knot.

Kohaku moved his arm experimentally and then pulled his shirt on over his head. They sat in silence, neither wanting to join the others in the next room just yet. This was the first time they’d been alone in nearly a week, and neither of them was willing to relinquish their newfound freedom just yet.

“About before…,” Kohaku began hesitantly, “I want you to know - that was about me, not you.”

“I know,” she said, offering him a faint smile. “I would be angry too, if I were her.”

He blushed sheepishly and scratched at the back of his head. “Does this mean I’m going to be outnumbered from now on?”

She laughed softly and glanced down as his fingers slipped over hers. His thumb grazed her knuckles and she felt her earlier anxieties begin to wane.

“This village is filled with good people, Rin, they’re just not used to outsiders. Give them a chance and they’ll treat you like family.”

“Even your sister?” she wondered, voicing her concerns aloud for the first time.

His fingers tightened around hers. “Let me worry about Sango.”

He looked so sincere that there was little else she could do but smile and nod. In truth, she’d been prepared for this. No family in their right mind would accept her as one of their own, not with her sullied past. And as certain as Kohaku was that a few words would be all it would take to smooth things over, she was prepared for a more realistic outcome. If the situation were reversed, she couldn’t honestly say she’d condone either of her brothers settling down with a reformed concubine, no matter how well-intentioned.

“I think we’d better go check on the others. Knowing your brothers, one of them may already be face down in the fire.”

She suppressed a laugh and took his offered hand, allowing him to help her to her feet. They found her brothers still alive and kneeling around the hearth fire in the main room. To her surprise, Takanori and Ryo almost looked like they were enjoying themselves. As they drew closer, the topic of conversation became clear.

 “Our family is from Yamato province. Do you know it?” Takanori asked.

Sango’s brow gave an inquisitive lift and she shook her head. “Are there many demons in Yamato province?”

He blinked in surprise. “Not that I know of. Though I suppose we might simply have excellent demon slayers in the area.”

A reluctant smile cut across Sango’s lips, “Perhaps.”

She turned as the whisper of their feet atop the tatami drew her attention. Sango’s eyes settled briefly on the place where their hands were joined before she turned back towards the fire. Kohaku knelt atop the cushion next to his sister and she took her place on the opposite side.

“Would you like some tea?” Sango asked politely enough. Kohaku agreed and she poured him a cup, which he passed to Rin, and then poured another for himself.

 “Your village is well protected,” Ryo stated, referring to the high palisade walls. “You have much trouble with bandits this far north?”

“The palisade is to keep demons out,” Sango answered after taking a sip of her tea. “Bandits know better than to attack this village.”

“I’ll say. That wall is really something!”

The demon slayer bowed her head demurely.

When Kohaku noticed her eyes casting about, studying everything with wide-eyed curiosity, he bent his head and spoke softly into her ear. “Our father was the headman of the village. He died some years ago, but the others didn’t have the heart to kick two orphans out of their home.”

His words were light-hearted, followed by a carefree shrug of his shoulders but she couldn’t stop the brief look of empathy that crossed her features. Orphans, both? What a pair they made.

Takanori’s next inquiry drew her attention as it was something she’d wondered about as well.

 “I couldn’t help but notice that the village seemed rather empty upon our arrival?”

“The others are out hunting demons in a neighbouring village. They should return before nightfall for the festival. You are all welcome to attend, of course. The villagers will be delighted to know that you’ve returned safely, Kohaku.” Turning her gaze on him, she added, “We were all worried about you, little brother, especially Chihiro.”

A scowl cut across Kohaku’s features at mention of the girl’s name. He attempted to hide it with a lengthy sip of tea and Rin made a point of studying the pattern on the bottom of her teacup. She would have to ask Kohaku about the girl later, though she was almost certain Sango had thrown her name out simply to see how they both reacted. It was a smart move, cunning even, but she’d dealt with far worse at the brothel and wouldn’t be shaken by such a simple attempt at forcing jealousy.

The conversation moved like that for some time; her brothers navigated from topic to topic with Sango and seemed more comfortable in her presence with each moment that passed. Takanori’s participation intrigued her more than the conversation itself. It was rare to see him so engaged, and even rarer to see him smile, which he had done twice now since their arrival.

Despite being seated so close to her, she and Sango barely exchanged more than pleasantries. So when the elder demon slayer announced that she would need to leave them for a short while to prepare dinner, Rin stood and offered assistance. Sango eyed her curiously but did not object and bid her follow into the kitchen.

Once there, Sango announced that they would be making steamed pork buns and invited her to begin preparing the dough. She’d eaten something similar in Edo, a deliciously warm concoction of bread and meat that filled the stomach and warmed you from the inside out.

She focused on kneading the dough while Sango prepared the meat that would go inside. There were a dozen thoughts racing through her head, all demanding equal attention. Thoughts that asked what she should say, or if she should say anything at all. Thoughts that made her question how best to appeal to the woman next to her and whether it was already a lost cause. She desperately wanted to know more about Kohaku’s only other family, but having no idea where to begin she instead said nothing and concentrated on the consistency of the dough between her hands.

“What is it like to be so far from home?”

Rin’s head jerked up at the suddenness of the question. She blinked in surprise and then returned her gaze to her hands.

“It feels strange…frightening.”

“Is it so different where you’re from?”

She nodded, feeling a smile begin to creep across her lips. “It’s warmer. In the winter the snow covers only the mountains and in spring they bloom pink with a carpet of cherry blossoms. Our village is small, smaller even then yours, and filled with simple farming families.”

“Your brothers told me a little. It sounds like a charming place. You must be eager to return.”

She offered her a thin smile and said nothing.

“Today isn’t the first time you’ve mended my brother.” It was a statement, not a question. Rin looked up expectantly and waited.

“You did an admirable job. I doubt I could have done better myself.”

With Sango’s praise an invisible weight lifted itself from her shoulders.  She smiled, more genuinely this time, and inclined her head.

“Kohaku is a good slayer, one of the best our village has known in generations, but he’s not invincible.”

Sango looked up momentarily to gauge her reaction and then returned her attention to the meat she was stirring in her pot.

“He doesn’t know what it’s like to spend each day worrying about whether the people you love will survive the day. In our village we’re taught not to fear death, but they haven’t yet figured out a way to stop us from worrying over those we care about. My brother…he’s noble and idealistic to a fault. I fear that he’s led you here with the promise of a happy ending when this village can only offer you heartache.”

Rin kept her eyes on the movement of her hands as they kneaded and stretched the dough. She didn’t dare look up for fear of giving something away. At length she said, “In the short time that I’ve known Kohaku he’s delivered me from a life of servitude, reunited me with my family, and saved my life more times than I care to count. He’s a good man, an honourable man, but he has promised me nothing.”

Sango made a soft noise in the back of her throat but did not press the subject. Once the meat was ready, she lifted the pot from the stove and set it on the table next to Rin. They worked together in tandem to put together the first batch of pork buns. When they were finished, Rin washed her hands and made an excuse about needing to check on her brothers. She felt like she hadn’t taken a single breath since leaving Kohaku’s side.

“Do you care for him?”

Her feet halted at the door. She remained there a long moment, frozen between the truth and the allure of freedom. Her answer was there, lingering on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t give it life. Instead she pressed forward, heading towards the sound of conversation near the hearth, leaving the heavy silence and Sango’s probing gaze behind.

oOo

The sights and sounds of the festival made her feel an acute ache of homesickness that lingered in the centre of her chest. She clutched her hands around a warm cup of _amazake_ and took a soothing sip. The clang of bells and the hollow beat of drums drew closer as the crowd of revellers rounded the corner and made their way down the main street to the temple. The ancestors’ shrine bobbed overtop of the crowd, carried along on the shoulders of the village’s young men with Kohaku at the lead.

He’d explained the purpose of the festival to her earlier. With every ritual, it honoured the village’s ancestors and asked for their protection in the months ahead. Every village in the area held similar festivals to give thanks to their local _kami_ or gods, and from what she could tell they weren’t so different from the ones she and her brothers had participated in as children.

Such festivals were a common occurrence in her town, but she’d never put much credence in them. Now, she wished more than ever for what they did here to have meaning. Their journey had not been an easy one and for however long they stayed within the village walls she could only hope the ancestors would be so kind as to lend she and her brothers their protection.

When the men reached the temple they raised the shrine up high, chanted a prayer to the heavens, and then moved it inside the temple where it would remain until the next festival. The village erupted into cheers and Rin smiled, happy to be a part of something once more. Her eyes found Kohaku’s as he emerged from the shrine, grinning and laughing with his comrades. A girl ran up to him holding out a cup. He took it from her with a nod and drank it down, much to the pleasure of his fellow townsmen.

“I see Chihiro wasted no time in finding my brother.”

Rin recognized the melodic voice at her side and turned towards Sango with a polite smile. She greeted her with a short bow and asked if she would like any _amazake_. Sango held up her cup and took a sip before turning her gaze back to where Kohaku was smiling and talking to the village girl.

“She’s been infatuated with my brother for some time,” she explained with an indulgent smile. “I think he rather likes the attention.”

Rin nodded and took a long sip from her drink to fill the silence.

“She comes from a good demon slaying family. I’d wager any family in this village would be happy to welcome her as one of their own.”

_Including yours?_ she wondered with a pointed glance at Sango. Not trusting herself to linger, she excused herself with a polite bow and offered up some excuse about finding her brothers to see how they were enjoying the festivities.

As she turned go to her eyes happened upon Kohaku who was staring at her through the crowd. She turned away and headed deeper into the crush of people, hoping to get lost in it. She just needed a minute to breathe, a minute away from the constant questions racing through her mind. She drained the rest of the amazake in her cup and tossed it into the nearest fire.

What had she been thinking, coming here? She’d known from the start just how difficult this might be, but she hadn’t cared. She’d stubbornly insisted that she and her brothers follow along and for what? To spend an entire winter watching from the shadows while Kohaku entertained his pick of marriageable women?

A firm hand gripped her arm just above the elbow and steered her into the narrow space between two houses.

“What’s wrong?”

Kohaku’s voice was soft and close in the dark, and she could smell the lingering scent of sake on his breath.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she protested feebly and his hand tightened around her arm.

“Something’s wrong. What did Sango say to you?” He pulled back and turned towards the crowd as if determined to find his sister right that very moment. She put a hand out to stop him and let it linger against his side before falling away.

“This has nothing to do with your sister,” she insisted quietly, and then, even more softly, “You seemed quite happy to see Chihiro again.”

He breathed out a quiet sigh and his palm came to rest next to her head.

“So, that’s what this is about,” he said as though to himself. “Rin, I was as happy to see Chihiro again as I was any other comrade in the village. She is a nice girl, but you might have noticed that she’s not the one I’m having a moment alone with.”

His fingers caressed the underside of her jaw and began to slip down the side of her throat.

“I understand perfectly,” she replied with an edge to her tone. “Her you’ll speak with in front of everyone, but conversations with me are reserved for dark, shadowy corners where no one can see us.”

“I thought you’d want privacy,” he protested.

“I thought you weren’t ashamed to be seen with me.”

Kohaku cursed softly under his breath and she heard the rustle of his hair as he brushed his hand through it. Taking her suddenly by the arm, he pulled her back out into the street. She glanced around, aware of the eyes of the others suddenly on them.

“Kohaku, what are you-?”

He didn’t give her the chance to finish before his mouth was on hers. He held her tight against him while the insistent, demanding pressure of his lips bowed her head back and made her blood run like fire through her veins. He pulled away a few seconds later, a few seconds far too short, and set her firmly on her feet.

She blinked up at him, stunned, and wordlessly licked her lips. Kohaku grinned wide and raised his brows at her in a cheeky sort of gesture that would have earned him a slap had she not already been too astonished to move.

“I trust that ends the argument?” he asked, with his mouth close to her ear.

She swallowed and nodded.

“Come,” he offered, taking her hand in his. “It’s time for us to enjoy this festival!”


	31. Chapter 31

Sango found him on the steps, staring up at the moon. She sat quietly next to him and rested her chin atop her knees.

“That little display of yours earlier was interesting.”

There was no need for her to elaborate. Kohaku nodded and breathed out a quiet sigh, his breath escaping in front of him in small, white clouds.

“Tell me about her.”

A shy smile curved a corner of his mouth upwards. “Where do you want me to begin?”

“At the beginning, of course. I want to know more about the woman who kept you away for so many months.”

He began with the village’s request for a gift to present to the daimyo and then delved into how he’d discovered her at a brothel in Kyoto. When he tried to describe what it was about her that’d captivated his interest Sango gave a knowing sort of look and urged him to go on with a gentle nudge. He told her about their journey from Edo, the bandits, her brothers, the daimyo, all of it. He hadn’t planned to tell her everything, but once he started he found he couldn’t stop. The words poured from his mouth and heart like an endless fountain until there was nothing left to say.

Sango was quiet for a long while and then turned her gaze up towards the stars.

“You love her, don’t you?” she said softly.

He grinned as his cheeks turned a subtle shade of pink, “Is it that obvious?”

Sango’s silence was telling, as was the way her brow furrowed in consternation. He nudged her in the arm and gave an expectant lift of his brow.

“It’s not that I don’t approve, it’s just…you’ve never shown any interest in girls before now.”

He lifted his shoulders in a light shrug and studied the snow dusting the tops of his boots. “I can’t explain it but when I’m with her I feel whole. Almost like before her I was missing something I hadn’t realized was gone and now that something is back.”

“Kohaku…” Sango took hold of his arm and offered an understanding smile. “I’m glad to see you so happy. And I’m even happier to finally have you home.”

“But?”

Sango’s lips pressed into a light frown as her eyes met his, “Have you spoken with her about your future together?”

“I can’t be apart from her again. Those months she was with the daimyo…” He swallowed hard and closed his eyes against the memory of leaving her in that place. “It felt like my heart was being cut out of my chest.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Kohaku exhaled a frustrated sigh and rose to his feet. “How can I ask her to stay when I have nothing to offer?” he asked while brushing invisible dirt from his pants.

“You have plenty to offer.”

“And what’s that? Our father’s house? A life filled with danger and violence? The uncertainty of whether I’ll make it home to her each night?”

Sango was quiet a long moment as her eyes looked out into the village. The streets were quiet, the others long since gone to bed. “Maybe you should let her make that decision for herself.”

Kohaku made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat and paced back and forth in front of the steps.

“Or are you afraid you won’t like her answer?”

The sudden clang of the village’s warning bell cut short any further discussion on the topic. Their heads snapped up in unison and turned towards the sound.

“Go find Rin and keep her safe,” Sango ordered as she secured Hirakotsu over her shoulder. “I’ll find out what’s going on.”

oOo

He found Rin exactly where he’d hoped not to find her – emerging from his father’s house to see what all the commotion was about. She gazed in the direction of the main gate, her eyes transfixed by something in the dark beyond.

“I think there’s-,” she began to say, but he grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her down the street and as far from the gate as possible.

“Where are your brothers?” he shouted back over his shoulder.

“They’re inside! I told them to stay inside.”

“Will they?”

“I hope so,” she offered with a wary glance back at the hut.

“I’m taking you somewhere safe and then I have to go help the others,” he explained, leaving no room for argument.

“What if I can help?”

Kohaku stopped short and pulled her in close with a hand on either of her shoulders. “I want you to stay far away from that gate, understand?”

She looked as though she would argue but in the end kept her mouth shut tight and nodded her head.

“Wait here. I’ll be back soon,” he instructed and pressed a fleeting kiss to her cheek before running off in the direction they’d just come.

It didn’t matter where in the village he took her. She would never be safe from the sort of demons who shook the earth with every step they took. Or whose screeching cries filled the air with a noise as deafening as thunder.

She sneaked back in the direction of the headman’s hut, stubbornly determined to keep an eye on Kohaku and her brothers. She was careful to avoid the main streets, travelling instead through back alleys in the general direction of the main gate. By the time she reached the gate there were already several bodies on the ground, though none of them, she was relieved to see, belonged to Kohaku, Sango or her brothers.

Hiding behind the headman’s hut, she watched Sango jump into the fray with her sword drawn. She struck at the demon’s feet, hoping to fell him with one good blow. Her large yellow weapon was nowhere to be found. The demon lashed out, kicking her backwards with a blow that sent her careening hard into the dirt. She lay very still, even as pieces of wood from the gate crashed to the ground all around her.

She searched next for Kohaku. She found him exactly where she expected him to be – at the dead centre of the fray. There was a second demon, a creature just as large and grotesque as its brother. It had as many heads as it did arms and they screamed in unison before the beast charged through the gate and into the village.

Rin didn’t stop to think before dashing out from her hiding spot to drag Sango away from any immediate danger. The elder demon slayer still had not stirred and though she had no visible wounds, Rin knew enough to be worried over the possible injuries she couldn’t see – the ones inside that could steal a person’s life away. Kohaku had told her many times before just how dangerous fighting demons was but only now did she truly understand the truth behind his words.

She’d only just hooked her hands beneath Sango’s arms when an explosion rocked the earth at her feet. The second beast had slammed its fists into the earth, knocking every demon slayer in the vicinity to the ground. Kohaku was the first back on his feet and he swung a sickle-like weapon at the demon’s neck with the intention of lobbing its head off completely. Only, it didn’t turn out that way. The beast was far too agile and swatted the weapon away as if it were nothing more than a toy, leaving him temporarily defenceless.

“Kohaku!” she shouted at him and his eyes turned towards her in wide-eyed horror. She grabbed Sango’s sword up off the ground and tossed it towards him. It landed not far from his feet, giving him just barely enough time to dash for it before the beast could attack again. Only, it didn’t attack. It stared directly at her, its odious yellow eyes narrowing on the spot where she was frozen in place.

The beast let out a deafening scream into the night and then turned heel, retreating through the ruined remains of the village gate. Kohaku stared after it mystified, still holding Sango’s unused sword in his hand.

“What happened?”

Sango groaned and stirred, her eyes drifting back and forth in a daze.

“You were hurt in the fight,” Rin offered and helped her to sit up. The demon slayer nodded in thanks and put a shaky hand to her head.

“Is it gone?”

“It turned tail and screamed out of here,” Kohaku informed her as he handed Sango her sword. He gave an uneasy glance towards the village gate, “I’ve never seen anything like it. Are you okay?”

She nodded and Rin helped her to her feet.

“I thought I told you to stay hidden,” Kohaku said under his breath, fixing her was a thoroughly displeased look.

“I couldn’t-”

“Never mind that,” Sango interjected, her meek plea a far cry from the rich tone Rin had become familiar with. “Let’s go inside.”   

They each offered Sango an arm and worked together in silence to help her back to the headman’s hut. Rin knew her brothers must be scared out of their wits. She could only imagine the elaborate tales Ryo would tell about their near-death encounter with _real_ demons. It wasn’t every day you came so close to a beast like that and lived to tell the tale!

As they neared the stairs of the hut she heard a noise from underneath the porch. With a tilt of her head she caught a glimpse of a familiar face, one she’d only seen at a distance until now. Chihiro’s eyes locked with hers and she shook her head, silently begging her not to say a word. Rin gave the smallest of smiles and diverted her attention to helping Sango up the stairs.

The demon slayer’s warnings from earlier had not been without merit. Today she’d been given a very real look into what the future held if she remained in this place. The life of a demon slayer was not for the faint of heart. She had not been born with demon slayer blood in her veins, and she didn’t know how to handle a weapon as well as the others in the village, but when faced with certain danger she hadn’t cowered in a corner either.

Sango was rescued, Kohaku spared, and the demons gone, all in some small part thanks to her. It gave her a glimmer of hope that there may just be a place for someone like her here after all.  


	32. Chapter 32

Rin approached the spot where Sango was hanging a pile of freshly washed yukatas out to dry. The demon slayer’s injuries from the attack the previous night hadn’t been serious enough to keep her down long.

Sango sent a glance over her shoulder as she approached and reached for another yukata to hang.

“Come to help?”

“I need to ask a favour of you,” Rin replied and came to a halt several paces away.  

Sango gave her a curious look and vigorously shook out the garment in her hands, “What sort of favour?”

The wind picked up just then, making the hanging yukatas appear to writhe and dance about. The air was bitter cold and snow covered the ground, but the sun was bright and held the promise of an early spring. With any luck the garments would be dry by sundown.

Rin stooped to retrieve a damp yukata from the basket, along with several wooden pegs. She slipped it over the line and answered, “I want you to teach me how to fight like a demon slayer.”

Sango went quiet and it wasn’t until Rin had bent to grab another yukata that she found the courage to meet her gaze. The older girl’s dark eyes narrowed ever so slightly as they studied her. Those eyes missed nothing and it was with more than a little trepidation that Rin took a steadying breath and finished her request. 

 “And I want to keep it a secret from Kohaku.”

The demon slayer exhaled a low sigh and tossed the yukata in her hands haphazardly over the line.

“Why?”

Rin’s brows shot up in surprise, “To which part?”

“Both.”

She paused a moment to collect her words and her eyes found their way to the main gate, where Kohaku was making repairs with the other men. He was fearlessly straddling one of the high beams, hammering nails into wooden posts wider than her arms could fit around. She felt a flutter deep in the pit of her stomach at the sight of him and quickly looked away.

“Kohaku won’t approve,” she said quietly. “He knows what will happen if I learn how to fight. He taught me a few things on the road to Edo; he showed me how to hold a knife and how to use it to kill a man if it came to that.”

A sudden array of unwelcome memories invaded her thoughts, memories she’d tried hard to bury and forget: the choking grip of the bandit’s fingers around her throat, the slick warmth of his blood as it gushed out of the wound to soak her hands, the sight of Kohaku bound and unmoving on the floor of his cell.

She forced a polite smile to her lips and added, “That knowledge saved my life, as well as his.”

It was clear from the way Sango’s eyes widened that this was news to her. Kohaku had apparently told her very little of the dangers they’d faced on their journey. She reasoned that perhaps he’d been trying to provide her with some peace of mind by sparing her all but the most essential details. She felt guilty for having disturbed that peace, but was determined to get what she’d come for.

Sango studied her closely, her dark eyes searching her features for answers. Was she searching for evidence of a lie? Or was she re-evaluating her first impressions? It was difficult to tell and at length Sango returned her attention to pinning the next yukata to the line.

“And to the first?” she inquired almost casually.

Rin frowned at the cold, damp yukata balled between her hands and slowly shook her head.  “I’ve spent too much of my life being helpless to control the situations I was in. I don’t ever want to live like that again. Whether it’s bandits or demons, I _need_ to know that I can protect myself and the people I care about.”

“From what I saw the other night you’re already capable of that. What you mean to say is you don’t want to have to rely on someone else to protect you.” Sango gave a knowing look and pinned the last yukata to the line.

The demon slayer was quiet for a moment and then stepped around the hanging yukatas to grab the empty basket up off the ground. “Kohaku told me a little of your story,” she said not unkindly. “I’m sorry about what happened to you and your family. I understand better than you realize the desire to want to protect those you care about.”

“Does that mean you’ll help me?”

 Sango nodded and stepped in closer so their conversation wouldn’t be overheard. “But please remember that true strength comes when you rely on others as much as they rely on you.”

With a pointed look out at the villagers she added, “If every man and woman in this village fought only for themselves we would’ve been exterminated generations ago. Sometimes you have to let go and trust that someone else will be there to support you.”

Her gaze returned to Rin, probing and direct. “Can you do that? Can you trust someone else that much?”

Rin knew what she was asking of course. There was no need to speak his name. She nodded sincerely and held Sango’s gaze until the demon slayer reached forward and gently squeezed her shoulder.

“I thought as much,” she said with a faint smile. “We’ll start tomorrow after breakfast.”

Sango’s hand lingered on her arm and her tone softened as she added, “Thank you for what you did last night. My injuries could have been far worse if you hadn’t intervened when you did.”

“You would’ve done the same for me,” she replied with an air of certainty. Sango’s smile returned and she glanced in the direction of the headman’s hut.

“Come, let’s make some lunch for the men. They’ll be ravenous after spending all morning fixing that gate.”

Rin fell in step beside her and breathed a quiet sigh of relief. With that single conversation a great weight of anxiety and expectation had been lifted from her soldiers. At the very least they seemed to understand one another. At their core their lives weren’t so different. Sure they’d grown up on opposite ends of Japan and under very different circumstances, but at the end of the day they were both orphans, they’d both had to learn how to survive on their own, and they both cared deeply for Kohaku.

That one connection alone was enough to build a tentative bridge between them; one Rin hoped would eventually become as strong and sturdy as one between sisters. Only time would tell, of course. It was one thing to recognize a kindred spirit, but another entirely to welcome her into your home and accept her as part of the family.

Try as she might to ignore it, that seed of doubt lingered in the back of her mind. Kohaku may have kissed her in front of the entire village, but he’d made her no offer. Her eyes found him as she climbed the sturdy wooden stairs of the headman’s hut. He was calling down to the men waiting below, giving them instructions for what to send up next. He sat back to wipe his brow and looked in her direction. When he waved she could see his smile even from where she stood.

Though his actions suggested he cared for her, not once had he spoken of ‘love’ and that was one truth that was impossible for her to ignore.  Her hand lifted to wave back and then slowly fell to her side. Standing there at the door of his father’s hut, with the sun warming her face, she couldn’t help but wonder if he ever would.

oOo

It was nearly sunset by the time they were finished. It’d been hard work, but the walls were sturdy once more and the village would sleep safe that night. Kohaku rubbed at the calluses on his hands, thankful for the way the muscles beneath them ached. It felt good to be useful, to do something that made a difference. It softened the blow his ego had suffered the previous night, but not by much.

When it’d mattered most he’d failed to help Sango and that feeling of helplessness didn’t sit well. His palm rested lightly against the newly re-built wall. At least this was some tangible good, something he could put his name to and be proud of, something Rin could be proud of him for building.

She approached with quiet footsteps carrying a small canteen of water. She held it out to him with a smile.

“I thought you might be thirsty.”

He nodded as he took it from her and put the bottle to his lips, sucking greedily at its cool contents. From the corner of his eye he watched as she took in the sight of the wall, her eyes scanning its length.

“I never imagined you’d have it built so quickly.”

He took another much needed gulp of water as his eyes followed her gaze. He’d been dubious himself when he and the others had set out at first light to begin rebuilding the wall, but now that it was finished he felt an immense sense of relief.

“The village is too vulnerable without it. Your brothers helped, too. I think they were glad for the work.”

Rin’s lips lifted a little in amusement, “You’re probably right about that. Those two don’t know how to sit still.”

“Come, I’ll take you for a tour.”

He walked with her down the length of the wall, pointing out small improvements they’d made during the rebuild. Extra reinforcement by the doors, thicker beams at the most vulnerable areas, a lookout tower to allow them to see threats at a distance. They stopped at the gate and gazed out at the snow covered path leading into the forest beyond. Their footsteps from when they arrived were still barely visible in parts.

“Do you think the demons will return?”

Her tone was conversational, but he could tell by the way she anxiously nibbled at her lip while eyeing the dark edge of the forest that she was as concerned as anyone else in the village about the demons returning.

“They may,” he replied, not wishing to lie to her. “But it’s just as likely they won’t. Demons don’t typically attack the same place twice without good reason.”

“So why do you think they attacked last night?”

He shook his head and brushed a hand through his hair. “I couldn’t say. I spoke with Sango about it this morning and neither of us could come up with a reason. Their behaviour was....” He stopped there and gave a shrug. “In all my life I’ve never seen a demon act the way that one did. The way it looked at you… If I didn’t know better I’d say it was scared off.”

“That’s…”

“Ridiculous?” he gave a dry laugh and shook his head. “Maybe your ancestors were fierce demon slayers?”

She smiled at the thought and looked back out at the woods, her gaze lingering overlong on the snow covered tree line.

“Rin,” he urged softly and waited for her eyes to meet his. “If the demons do return I promise I won’t let anything happen to you or your brothers.”

Her eyes were dark and clear and didn’t look away when she replied without a hint of hesitation, “I know you will.”

His fingers gently touched the hair at her temples, pushing a few loose strands back off her face. The urge to kiss her was a powerful pull and he stepped in closer, his hand sliding gently down her neck. She pulled away before his lips could touch hers.

“Your hands are freezing,” she said with an apologetic look.

He hid his disappointment behind a good-natured smile and cupped his hands together to blow into them for some warmth. It wasn’t the first time she’d pulled away from him and it wouldn’t be the last.

It was subtle, imperceptible to anyone but him, but with each day that passed he could feel her pulling further away. Maybe she wasn’t even aware of it herself, and maybe she was, but bit by bit she was leaving behind the journey that’d once been theirs to take together. He could feel it with every fibre in his being but couldn’t begin to know where or even how to stop the inevitable.

How could he bring them back to the place where they’d once shared tender, guarded moments alone, where dreams of a future together had felt possible? Was she so unhappy here that she was simply counting down the days until the spring thaw would allow her to escape? Or was it him that was lacking? Had she realized that despite her feelings for him it would be impossible for her to ever truly forgive him for what he’d done?

The thought turned his stomach but he understood it completely. He’d done something unforgiveable to her and would need to accept whatever consequences came out of that choice – even it if meant watching her leave when the winter snow melted into spring. But it wouldn’t be easy. Seeing her pull away bit by bit each day was very nearly eating him alive.

The stubborn fighter within him was determined to do and say whatever it took to keep her by his side. But the part of him that loved her only had one overarching concern – her happiness. And so each time she pulled away or evaded his kiss or stared overlong at the village gate he brushed it off with a smile that would fool even the most observant of watchers and vowed that he wouldn’t push for anything more.

Today she responded with a faint smile and angled her body in the direction of the headman’s hut. “It’s getting late. I should see if Sango needs any help with the evening meal,” she said, urging him to follow with a tilt of her head.  

“Of course,” he said, falling in step beside her. The heavy village gates closed audibly behind them, shutting out the dangers of the world beyond their walls.

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently re-discovered this chapter that I thought had been lost to a system meltdown on my computer. It was originally intended to fit ahead of the proposal, so hopefully you guys don't mind me squeezing it in now.

She still dreamt of him. Sometimes she would wake and the dream would cling to the periphery of her consciousness with a fading memory of his honeyed-amber eyes. Other times it was the lingering touch of his fingertips drifting across her skin, or the whispered sound of her name on his lips. There were times, too, when her dreams were so vivid they felt almost real.

As the weeks slipped by, the simmering rage she’d felt towards him lost some of its bite. And she was glad for it. Resigning Sesshomaru to her past meant she was free to move on without fear of interference. Secretly she was relieved, too, that her strength of will wouldn’t be tested. In her heart she knew who she was meant to be with, but his very presence had a way of making her question everything she thought she was certain about.

Yes, it was easier with him gone, but that didn’t make the shock of his sudden death any less difficult to overcome. It wasn’t easy accepting that she would never have answers to the questions she longed to ask him. She would never know the truth about why he’d spent so much time lying to her about who and what he was. Had it all been simply to seduce her? Or was there some more nefarious motive in play? He owed her those answers at least, but none would be forthcoming.  

Maybe it was that unfinished business which allowed him to boldly enter her dreams night after night. Tonight’s dream had started out like many of the others, with snow was falling softly amongst the trees. The forest around her was quiet, deathly still. Nothing stirred but her, not even the wind. She walked barefoot through pure white snow drifts, but felt no hint of the cold.

Her feet came to a halt in a small clearing, and though she was certain she’d never seen it before the place was achingly familiar. There were no footsteps in the new fallen snow but for those behind her, the ones that would lead her back to the village and Kohaku. If she’d been to this place before, there was no trace of it now.

She tilted her head heavenward in search of the moon and saw its thin silver crescent shining behind the snow laden tree tops. It appeared so real that she reached her hand out as if to touch it. In that same moment there was a subtle shift in the energy around her. The hairs on her arms stood on end and she lowered her gaze from the moon to find him standing no more than a few paces away.

He stared at her quietly, his ethereal form imposing in the moonlight. She stared back, awed by this unearthly beauty. He spoke her name but not in a way that was familiar. The word seemed to echo from all around her, as if the trees themselves had spoken. The single syllable faded and she stared hard at his mouth, waiting for him to speak again.

“Why are you here?” she demanded at last, surprised by how loud her voice sounded.

How many times had they had this conversation? How many encounters had they shared just like this one?

He spoke her name again and with a single indecipherable step he moved closer. He stood within touching distance now, towering over her so that she was forced to tilt her head back to look into those familiar amber eyes. She heard the sound of her name whispered through the trees once more and felt the light touch of his fingertips at her temple. Her eyes drifted closed, and that was when he answered.

“I am coming.”

Her heart lurched in her chest and her eyes snapped open.

“What did you say?”

She stumbled backwards until her back met the trunk of the nearest tree. Never before had he said more than her name, she was certain of it. His figure began to retreat as it always did, slipping back into the shadows of the forest.

“Don’t go!” she called out and chased after him a few plodding steps in the deep snow. “Please, Sesshomaru!”

“Wait for me.”

His words echoed in her thoughts until long after the forest had swallowed him up again. How many times had they met like this? In how many other dreams had he delivered that same message? _Wait for me…_ What was he trying to tell her?   

“Rin!”

She heard her name echo from somewhere far off. Was he calling to her again? Had he returned to provide some much needed answers?

She awoke to the feeling of being shaken and blinked dazedly at Sango’s worried expression.

“Rin! What are you doing out here? It’s freezing!” the demon slayer admonished and draped a heavy blanket over her shoulders.

Rin blinked again and gazed about the eerily familiar clearing, with no memory of how she’d arrived there.

“What am I doing here?”  

Her eyes lingered on the spot where Sesshomaru had only just vanished between the trees and felt unease churn suddenly in the pit of her stomach. How long had she been standing there? Judging by the painful burning sensation coming from her bare feet, it’d been long enough.

Was this the first time she’d walked to this place in a dreamlike state? Had there been other encounters? Other nights like this she could no longer remember? Had _any_ of it been real? Overwhelmed by a sudden panic, she gripped Sango’s proffered arm tight and let herself be guided back in the direction of the village.

“What were you thinking coming out here at night? These woods are dangerous,” Sango chided. Her concern was sincere when she added, “Something awful could have happened to you, Rin.”

“I think I was dreaming…” she said, by way of an explanation as the clearing was enveloped by the dark forest behind them. “I dreamt of…”

Her mind flashed with vivid memories of his honeyed eyes and the warm caress of his breath on the skin of her cheek. Even the hair at her temples still tingled with the lingering remnants of his too-real touch. Her eyes met Sango’s and the sudden surge of guilt she felt quickly forced them away again.

She let her words fade and shook her head, “I’m sorry. It is fading too quickly…”

In truth she remembered every detail but dared not utter a word. The most likely explanation was that her guilt and grief had simply overwhelmed her. The alternative was far more disturbing to consider. If Sesshomaru had survived the Shogun’s attack, would he come all this way to find her? And if he did, would he destroy the village that’d begun to feel like a second home? Draw his sword against Kohaku even?

Or worse still, remind her that she’d loved him once too. And still did.

A shiver that had very little to do with the cold shuddered down her spine and she gripped Sango’s arm tighter.

 “I think your dreams may be trying to kill you,” the demon slayer said and sent a concerned glance back over her shoulder at the forest behind them. “Come on, let’s get you warmed up.”

oOo

“You don’t remember anything? You’re certain?”

Rin shook her head and avoided meeting Takanori’s probing gaze. Her brothers had joined them in the headman’s hut and were exchanging worried glances on the other side of the hearth fire.

“It’s a good thing Sango found you when she did,” Ryo said quietly. “You could have died out there in that cold.”

Kohaku was crouched behind her, his hands rubbing her arms through the heavy blanket still draped over her shoulders. Whatever he was thinking, he was keeping it to himself. His silence unsettled her more than the dream walking had. She missed being able to talk to him like she had on their journey to Edo. Even when they’d been fighting there’d been a current of honesty underlying their words. They hadn’t quite reclaimed that yet, now that they were in his village, but she hoped they would in time.

There would be no avoiding talking about this incident with him, but she couldn’t even begin to form a suitable explanation. None of it made any sense. And there were Kohaku’s feelings to consider, too. How would he take to learning she still dreamt about the daimyo? Or worse, that she still cared for him? He held the man in such contempt, how could he possibly understand? Her stomach churned just thinking about how he might react and how hurt he would be.

 “I must have been dream walking,” she explained to the others with a dismissive shake of her head. “It’s not as though I planned to go trudging through the snow in the middle of the night without shoes on.”

“We’ll just have to be more careful,” Kohaku suggested and offered her a reassuring smile.

Her hand found his atop her shoulder and she gave it a light squeeze. They’d overcome so much already. They were strong enough to overcome this, too. She made up her mind to talk with him about the dreams later, when they could be alone. She wanted his insight, but more importantly she needed him to know. There was no room for secrets between them, especially where Sesshomaru was concerned.

Sango offered her a piping hot bowl of miso soup and she gratefully accepted it. The radiant heat from the bowl seeped into her hands bone deep and she sighed with relief as the taught, shivering muscles in her back began to relax.

“I’m sorry to have caused so much trouble,” she said with a contrite glance at the worried faces surrounding her.

“We’re just glad you’re safe,” Sango said and her brothers nodded in agreement.

A new sort of warmth spread through her, surging outward from the center of her chest to the very tips of her numbed toes. She had somewhere to belong and a family to be a part of. It was all there in front of her, a vision of a future she’d never thought possible. And it could be hers. All she had to do was want it.

Her eyes met Kohaku’s warm gaze and she remembered a pair of unearthly amber eyes that seemed to look into her very soul. She disguised her abruptly fading smile with a long sip of soup from her bowl and tried her best not to think overmuch about her too-vivid, too jarringly real dream of Sesshomaru and what it meant for them all.

oOo

Kohaku lowered himself onto the wooden step next to her and her head instinctively came to rest against his shoulder. She’d been readying herself for this conversation since daybreak. He’d been too quiet the night before. It wasn’t like him to keep his thoughts so closely guarded, and so she’d waited expectantly all morning for him to find her and begin peppering her with questions. But now that he’d arrived he seemed content to simply sit with her. He slid his arm around her waist and pressed a kiss into her hair and that was when she felt her eyes unexpectedly well up with tears.

She hadn’t realized just how badly she’d needed his support until that very moment. She’d become so used to not depending on anyone else that she’d forgotten what it felt like to need someone in her corner. Her arms wrapped around his waist and held tight. The solid warmth of him was comforting, and her apprehensions melted away as she breathed in the familiar scent of him. _This_ was real, and it was something worth protecting.

“I dreamt of him,” she admitted quietly, certain now that honesty was her best approach. "I keep dreaming about him."

Kohaku exhaled a low sigh, “I thought as much.”

She pulled back so she could turn her face up to his, “I understand if you are angry.”

The muscles in his jaw moved as he clenched it tight, but there was no vehemence in his eyes when they met hers. Exhaustion and uncertainty maybe, but not anger.

“You did nothing wrong,” he determined and she lay her head back down against his shoulder.

If that was the case, why did she feel so guilty? Was it because Sesshomaru’s touch had excited her more than she thought it would? Or that a secret part of her hoped Sesshomaru would come after all?

“It felt so real,” she mused, her voice far away. “Almost like he was there, standing right in front of me.”

“Do you think he could have been?” His tone was curious but she felt the sudden tension in his shoulders beneath her cheek.

“No,” she determined with a shake of her head. “He said he was coming. He wouldn’t say that if he were already here.”

Kohaku made a displeased noise in the back of his throat.

“Do you think it’s possible that he survived?”

“I suppose it is.”

His hand brushed thoughtfully across his mouth and his eyes lingered on the tall palisade wall he’d helped build. No doubt he was considering the implications of a demon that strong headed towards the village. The wall may be strong, but it would offer little resistance to a demon of that calibre. If it came down to a fight…

Rin shut her eyes against the thought of Sesshomaru laying waste to the village and asked instead, “Have you heard of demons sending messages through dreams before?”

Kohaku nodded distractedly, “Some. Mostly to prey on humans.” 

“I don’t think he has any intentions of eating me.”

“There are other ways demons can prey a human.”

Rin felt her cheeks grow hot. _Oh._

Kohaku’s body had become tense beneath her hands, as though he were already readying for a fight. She searched for the right words to ease his worries, determined to do something to fix what she’d had a hand in breaking.

“I’m sorry I made you worry.”

He turned his face towards her and she felt some of the tension leave the muscles in his back. He smiled and then pressed a soft kiss against her lips.

“I’ll keep you safe,” he promised in earnest. “No matter what comes through those gates.”

She nodded and her fingers entwined with his, “I know.”

“Tomorrow morning…” His words stalled and he braved a smile before hastily averting his eyes from hers. “Will you join me for a walk tomorrow morning? There’s something I’d like to show you.”

His thumb drifted across the back of her hand in a light caress that sent goose bumps rippling up her arm. She wanted very much to kiss him again, and nothing quite so innocent as the ones they’d shared since arriving. Instead she offered him a shy smile and nodded in agreement.

“Of course.”


	34. Chapter 34

The early morning air was bitter cold. The jacket Sango had given her did little to keep away the shivers, even with a heavy shawl thrown over her shoulders. She gazed up at the cloudless sky as they walked, marveling at how clear those last few lingering stars appeared above their heads. It was almost as though you could reach out and gather them up, a handful of shiny diamonds to stuff in your pocket.

There was no sound but for the crunch of their sandals atop the heavy snow. With such stillness all around them it felt like they were the last two humans on earth, a prospect that she didn't altogether mind for the moment.

Kohaku walked close at her side, his shoulders nearly brushing hers. His face was drawn in concentration, his brows furrowed in the way they did when he had something on his mind. His silence made her uneasy, and her thoughts were soon rife with worst case scenarios. 

Some insidious part of her began to wonder if he'd brought her all this way outside the village to tell her exactly what she feared most - that he'd realized it could never work between them. He'd been different since arriving here. The easy going nature that'd first drawn her to him seemed to have evaporated on the journey from Edo. Even during the rare few opportunities they had to speak alone, their words had felt strained and unfamiliar, as though they were practically strangers.

She had to consider, too, that maybe after their conversation about her dream Kohaku had come to the realization that he needed to put his village first for a second time. She could hardly blame him if that were the case. There were too many families who depended on the daimyo's good graces to risk putting up a fight if Sesshomaru was indeed alive and decided to come find her. The only safe course of action in that case was for her to leave.

Rin took a deep, cleansing breath and exhaled, watching as the white puff of condensation dissipated into the air. And maybe he'd just wanted to take her on a walk. Time alone together had become a luxury since leaving Edo. She found herself longing for those countless hours walking at his side, and wishing they could go back to trekking along that dusty dirt road.

She found herself longing, too, for the quiet intimacy of sharing a meal with him without three pairs of eyes watching. And of speaking to him, even about the most mundane of topics, without three sets of ears straining to hear their every word. She turned her head to study his profile in the dim pre-dawn light and felt her heart squeeze tight inside her chest. She wasn't ready to say good-bye to him yet.

"We're here," he said as he guided her through a group of low hanging branches laden with snow. He held them high so she could walk beneath and into the small clearing beyond. Ahead of them was a frozen waterfall and she marveled at how the water remained suspended over the rock face in glittering relief. With the morning sun hitting the ice just so, the falls seemed to be illuminated from within by a brilliant golden flame.

"What is this place?" she gasped, breath-taken by its beauty.

"It's called Heaven's Gate."

She smiled and nodded in agreement, "I can see why."

Feeling bold and sentimental, she clasped his hand in hers and tilted her head against his shoulder. His body seemed to relax at her touch and in time his head tilted to rest against hers.

"Rin," he said quietly, his voice soft so as not to break the tranquility of the scene before them, "there's something I need to tell you."

She felt her heart give a great, heavy thump in her chest. So her intuition had been right then. She swallowed down the lump in her throat and tilted her face up towards his. He kept his eyes focused ahead while he gathered his thoughts together and sought the right words to tell her what he needed to say. 

"I will need to leave you for a while," he explained. "A village has requested our help with slaying a nest of demons."

Of all the scenarios she'd considered, this hadn't been among them. She stood there a moment stunned, having no idea how to respond. 

"How long?" she finally managed to ask.

His hands gripped hers a little tighter, offering some small measure of reassurance, "A week. Perhaps a little longer. The village is in the mountains and the path to get there is treacherous this time of year. If there is an avalanche or a storm, we may be stranded for some time until it is safe to continue."

She nodded in understanding and wrapped her hand around his arm. If only she could keep him by her side through willpower alone.

"I'm sorry to leave you like this, especially now. I had hoped..." His words trailed off and he exhaled a weighted sigh. His eyes settled on the frozen waterfall, watching as the dawn light refracted off the uneven edges.

"The thought of leaving you here unguarded..."

"It's okay, I understand," she said and put on her best attempt at a smile. "This village - they need your help, right?"

He nodded, his expression solemn. "A nest of bird demons has been plaguing them for months. Without help they won't have enough food or firewood to survive until spring."

Rin stood next to him in the quiet of the early morning and focused on the heavy warmth of his hand around hers. So this is what it would be like to say good-bye to him each time he was required to do his duty. This is what it would be like to let him go, knowing it may be for the last time. It was difficult, but the thought of selfishly keeping him with her when a village was desperate for his help was far worse.

"Then," she determined, "you must go."

If it were her village, she would have wanted him to come. If it were her village, she would have sacrificed anything to keep her family and neighbours safe. And how would he feel staying behind while his comrades and friends went off to fight, knowing he hadn't done what he could to help? She couldn't picture it. It wasn't the sort of man he was.

"Do you promise to come back?" she added, turning to face up towards his. _Do you promise to come back to me?_  

A smile of relief lit his features and his hand lightly caressed her cheek, "I promise."

Realizing this may be her last chance to be alone with him like this, she surged forward and wrapped her arms around him tight. He held her tight against him, his face buried in the hollow of her shoulder.

"Please be careful." 

He nodded and his hand circled her back in reassuring strokes.

"There is one more thing..." he said haltingly. When his hands stilled on her back she felt unease fill her once more. She pulled back with a guarded look.

"This mission will be dangerous. There is no guarantee that... Well... What I am trying to say is..."

He closed his eyes in frustration and exhaled a short, exasperated breath. When he opened them again, his warm brown eyes fixed on her with a look she'd never seen in them before. Her fingers subtly tightened in the folds of his jacket and her brows knit together in anxious expectation.

"What I want to say is... If I should die on this mission, my heart would be at ease knowing that someday we would rest in the same grave together."

Rin felt her mouth drop open as her mind turned over his words. He couldn't possibly mean...

"I-I don't understand...," she said, her voice soft and unsure.

Kohaku's warm hands covered hers and he brought her chilled fingertips to his lips for a brief kiss.

"I want you to be my wife, Rin."

Those words, spoken with such soft earnestness, immediately banished the cold from her bones. He wanted her. He wanted a life with her. That dream her heart had dreamt for so many months… Was it possible that it'd been his dream too? Kohaku wanted her without compromise or reservation and the revelation left her speechless.

When she didn't reply his hopeful expression faltered, "If you need time to think it over..."

"I don't need time," she assured him with a shy smile. "I have known for some time, I think, what my answer would be."

"Then...?"

Rin shook her head, "I refuse to give you permission to die on this mission. Keep your promise to me and when you return you will hear my answer."

Kohaku reluctantly agreed, "I suppose that's fair." Even in his disappointment he smiled as his hands cupped her face and with a delicate touch his fingers brushed a loose bit of hair off her sun-warmed cheek.

"I love you," he said earnestly, his eyes settling warmly on hers. "And I will love you until the day my soul leaves this earth. So long as you know that, it will be enough."

Rin's hands went to his wrists and held tight as she nodded.

"I know," she whispered, fighting back tears of happiness and relief. And then again, as his lips found hers, "I know."


	35. Chapter 35

“Remember – aim with your hand. The bow will follow!”

Rin nodded and set up for another round of sparring. She was improving, bit by bit, but it wasn’t without considerable effort. She envied the effortless grace Sango possessed when wielding just about any weapon, whether it was a bow staff, a sword, or her beloved yellow Hiraikotsu. Training had become a daily routine for them - a couple of hours spent each morning, just after sunrise. For Rin it’d been a much needed distraction as Kohaku’s absence stretched longer and longer with each passing day.

Sango was a mercifully patient tutor, even on the mornings when she was distracted or arrived with her eyes puffy from lack of sleep. On those days she’d give her an understanding look and then start their lesson immediately to give her mind something else to dwell on. Most days, like today, Sango’s training style was unrelenting and tough. In a real fight a demon would show no mercy. They wouldn't capitulate simply because she needed a break or her arms were tired. It was an important lesson to learn, but perhaps the toughest one Sango had tried to teach her.

A quick sweep of Sango’s bow knocked her legs out from under her and she slapped the earth in frustration.

“It’s okay. You’re doing well,” Sango reassured her. She held out her hand to help her up, “Let’s try it again.”

Rin nodded and ignored the stuff muscles in her legs as she got back to her feet.

“All right, this time I want you to-”

The mourning wail of a horn pierced the air and Sango stopped dead, the bow staff in her hand lowering to her side.

Rin lowered her weapon as well and turned in the direction of the village.

“What is it?”

The sudden grim expression on the demon slayer’s face didn't bode well for whatever that horn symbolized.

“We need to get back,” Sango ordered as she grabbed up her bag and slung it over her shoulder in a single fluid motion. “That horn is our signal for when a demon slayer has…” Her words trailed off but Rin didn’t require any further explanation before she was grabbing up her weapons and hastily tossing her bag over her shoulder as well.

They ran back to the village at a full sprint. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest she could hear the blood rushing in her ears, but it had nothing to do with the exertion of the run. Her mind was whirring with images of what she might find when they arrived. What if it was Kohaku? Her mouth went dry and she swallowed hard, tasting bile in the back of her throat. Her sandaled feet flew faster than she'd ever run before, leaping over downed trees and darting around stumps. _Please! Please don’t let it be him!_

They arrived in the village just as the other slayers were entering through the main gate. Rin’s eyes were wide and manic, darting from body to body in search of the one she recognized. Where was he?

She saw him at last, carrying one end of a makeshift stretcher. A rush of relief prickled at her skin as she watched him set down the stretcher, his expression grim. And then she saw it - one pale, lifeless arm flopped over the side of the stretcher and she recoiled, stifling a gasp with her hand over her mouth.

Her brothers were only just emerging from their hut, their faces awash with confusion. They looked to her for an answer but she shook her head and gestured to the scene playing out at the gate. There was a sudden hush that fell over the group and she watched as one of the women was led to the stretcher. Her legs buckled as they drew close enough for her to see who was splayed out across it and the men at her sides half-carried, half-dragged, her the rest of the way. Her piercing cry tore through the air and everyone bowed their heads or turned away as she flung herself atop the corpse of her late husband.

Rin didn't feel the tears falling on her cheeks until a light breeze swept through the village chilling them against her skin. She hurriedly brushed them away and turned to Sango. Her expression was equally pained and her hands were clenched tight at her sides.

“What happens now?” she asked, her voice lacking all its strength.

“We move on.”

Sango’s reply seemed cold, but when Rin looked closely she saw the tears glistening in her eyes. It wasn’t cruel or uncaring, it was simply the life of a demon slayer. It was the very life Sango had warned her about on her first days in the village.

“Now you understand,” she said with a sympathetic look and Rin could do little else but nod. 

oOo

Demon slayers had their own rituals when it came to parting with their dead. Rin stood between Kohaku and her brothers, their faces identical solemn masks. They’d stripped the slayer of his armour and weapons, cleaned his body and wrapped it in a plain, white yukata. The portrait she'd painted of him in the short time since the group's return to the village was propped up next to him.

She hasn't hesitated to agree when Kohaku had asked her if she would do the simple ink portrait. She was relieved to have some way to contribute, no matter how small. Besides, it’d kept her hands busy and her mind mercifully preoccupied with things other than the fact that a man had just died and it very easily could have been Kohaku. Or the fact that half the group had returned from the mission with some serious injury and that those men just as easily could have been Kohaku, too.

Now that the funeral ceremony was taking place there was no escaping any of those thoughts as Rin studied the man’s widow. She noted the stiff way the woman carried herself, and how alone she looked standing next to the funeral pyre. There were no tears on her cheeks, but Rin had to imagine that she'd long since gone numb to all emotion. She would cry later, maybe every night for months, but she had no tears to shed right now with everyone watching.

She appeared so strong standing there, and so painfully alone. What must she be thinking? Was she struggling over how she would possibly go on without him? Was she agonizing over the last words she'd said to him? Was she cursing him in her grief for having left her far too soon? Rin bowed her head, suddenly overcome with guilt that this woman had lost the man she loved while hers stood well and unharmed by her side. It felt wrong to feel any sort of relief or gratitude, but she did.

And there was, of course, the knowledge sitting in the back of her mind that that woman could just as easily be her. Maybe not now, but several years down the road. It could be her standing there stiff and alone, mourning over Kohaku's broken remains. Or maybe she'd have a child at her side, a child who would grow up without a father and how would she ever explain it to them? How would she raise that child alone? The thought sent a violent shiver down her spine and she put her hand over her mouth to stifle a shuddering breath.

Kohaku's arm went around her back, offering what support he could. She was so tempted to lean into him, but she couldn't do that in front of the woman staring wearily at the funeral pyre as they lit it beneath her husband's body. It would be too selfish, too cruel, and so she stood stiffly next to him and didn't even look his way until his arm fell back to his side. She closed her eyes in silent defeat and said a prayer for the soul of the man as the wood of the pyre roared and crackled in the flames.

oOo

Kohaku found her some time later washing ink from the paintbrushes. A villager had lent them to her for the portrait and she’d hoped to return them looking just as pristine as they had when she’d opened the box that contained them.    

"How are you doing?" he asked softly as he picked up one of the brushes and ran the damp bristles across his fingertips.  

Rin frowned and scrubbed at a spot of ink that’d somehow spilt onto one of the brush handles.  

"I'll be fine," she assured him, though her eyes couldn't seem to meet his.

Kohaku's hand wound round her arm and he turned her gently towards him, "Rin, talk to me," he pleaded, his voice low. "We should be able to talk about these sorts of things."

She fixed him with a hard look and threw the brush she’d been holding back into the ink blackened water.

"What sorts of things?” she demanded, careful to keep her voice low. “Like how that man could have been you? Or the fact that someday the woman standing next to her husband's corpse as they set it on fire could be me?" 

His features blanched and his hands went to her shoulders, gripping them tight.

"Rin, I won't-"

"You won't _die_?" she hissed, pulling away. "You can't promise that."

"No," he conceded, choosing his words carefully. "But either of us could die at any time. I could get a cold next winter and be dead before spring. Or you could die while giving birth to our first child. Nothing is guaranteed in this life."

"Someday you won't be strong enough or fast enough to defeat one of those demons. Some day you-"

Kohaku cut her off with a quick shake of her shoulders. "Anything could happen _someday_ ," he insisted. "It's why we have to make the most of all the days we have leading up to ‘someday’."

"And when that someday comes?"

"We find the strength to carry on."

Rin turned away and stared at the charred spot where the funeral pyre had stood only a day before. Life in the village had returned somewhat to normal. People milled about doing their various tasks of daily life, sharpening weapons or taking advantage of the sunshine to complete their washing. They'd moved on, just as Sango said they would.

"I don't know if I can be that strong," she confessed and gave Kohaku a pained look.

"What are you saying?"

"I need some time to think."

She stepped out of his reach and headed towards the village gate, leaving the unwashed brushes behind.

Kohaku's footsteps were quick to follow and he was at her side before she’d even gotten halfway to the gate. "Rin, where are you going?"

"For a walk,” she insisted. “Wait for me?"

His feet slowed and eventually came to a stop. He nodded though she could tell that every bone in his body was urging him to follow her.

"Wait for me," she said more firmly this time and then headed alone through the gate towards the woods beyond.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sesshomaru returns. It's a long one so maybe grab a snack before you start reading :)

As Rin walked further and further from the village, Kohaku's words from earlier circled through her mind. He was right, of course. Either of them could die at any time whether from sickness, or disaster, or some sort of accident. Just as she had no guarantee that he would live a long and healthy life at her side, he had no reassurances either. That was the compromise they were making together, wasn't it? Promising each other a lifetime in the hopes their "someday" never came?

She exhaled a weighted sigh and stepped over a downed tree that was nearly buried by the snow. Deep down she knew he was right, but that didn't make it any easier for her to contemplate what seemed inevitable - especially in his line of work. Could she truly be happy at his side while constantly looking to the horizon expecting disaster with every mission? Could she selflessly let him go each and every time duty called and not grow to resent him and the work he did?

She stopped and rested her shoulder against the solid trunk of a pine tree. Was it enough simply to love him and hope for the best?

A tingle of awareness crept up her spine and the breath momentarily stilled in her lungs. She knew the feeling too acutely to mistake it for anything or anyone else. Turning slowly, she found him standing behind her in all his regal glory. He was dressed in vicious looking armour and had his long, silver hair pulled back off his face. He looked immaculate – just as perfect and alien as the first time she'd met him.

"What are you doing here?" she gasped.

"I could ask the same of you," he said, mimicking the words of their first meeting.

Her eyes swept over him, searching for signs this was a dream like all the others. He was vivid perfection, right down to the honeyed amber hue of his eyes. When he spoke it dispelled all doubts about this being simply another illusion. He was real and very much alive and standing directly in front of her. If he were anyone else she would have thrown her arms around him in relief, but she stood with her feet rooted to the earth while her heart hammered against her rib cage.

"I thought the Shogun's soldiers had..." she trailed off, unable to give the words life.

Sesshomaru's gaze hardened and he flexed his hand in a way that made his sharp claws gleam in the sunlight.

"The Shogun wisely reconsidered his position."

As his words sunk in she couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips. But of course he was alive. How could she have ever doubted it? The dreams she'd had of him night after night suddenly made sense. They were his way of assuring her that he was alive and well. And that he intended to find her.

"How did you find me?"

His lips gave a subtle twitch and his gaze on her was sharp, "Did you not wish to be found?"

It occurred to her then what he must have thought happened to her during the raid. How long had he searched for her? How many weeks had it taken for him to find her so many miles away? Her mind circled back to the night of the demon attack on the village. The way the creature had retreated after catching sight of her… Could it have been him? Was it possible that his power and reach were so great that even other demons did his bidding?

"It's my brothers... They found me after we left Edo," she replied and averted her eyes from his probing gaze. It wasn't a satisfactory explanation for why she'd left him without even the slightest reassurance that she was alive and safe, but it seemed the only truth he might understand.

Sesshomaru inclined his head serenely, his expression betraying nothing, "Congratulations."

"Were you the one who wrote to them?"

His brow lifted with a cool, detached sort of curiosity.

"They received a letter that told them I was under the…your…care in Edo. Did you write to them? So that I could have my family back?"

He sniffed and looked away from her into the trees, "Perhaps it was the lowly Edo-garo you'd grown so fond of."

His teasing words did not match the serious expression on his face. He lifted his head slightly as though tasting the scent on the wind and his eyes narrowed.

 _"He_ is here."

 _Kohaku._ "Yes," she replied truthfully. There didn't seem to be any point in denying he was in the village.

"The boy and I have unfinished business."

"Unfinished-?"

The shrill sound of a sword being drawn echoed in her ears and dread quickly filled her stomach.

"So it is you." Kohaku growled as he emerged from the trees behind her. "I'd recognize that voice anywhere."

His burning gaze remained fixed on Sesshomaru as he expertly spun his sword in his hand and gripped the handle tight. Sesshomaru's lips twitched in the briefest expression of disgust.

"Rin, stay back!" Kohaku cautioned and angled his body so he stood between the two of them.

Sesshomaru lazily drew his sword from its sheath, looking utterly pleased at the prospect of a fight. The seasoned killers sized one another up, intent on a death match. Horrified, Rin threw herself between them with her arms out. As talented a demon slayer as Kohaku was, she knew without a doubt how this fight would end. Keeping her eyes fixed squarely on him, she pleaded with him to see reason.

He glared over her shoulder, his hand wrapped firmly around the handle of his short sword. Stepping in close, she placed a hand on either side of his face and waited for his eyes to meet hers. Seeing the tears glistening in them, he blinked and some of the tension left his shoulders.

"Rin…?"

"Once, not so long ago, you told me about your dream to be a simple farmer with a house built by your own two hands and fields of rice enough to feed your family."

He nodded, the rage in his eyes lessening at the memory.

"Today, I need you to be that farmer. Forget about being a demon slayer. Forget you were here. Forget you saw him. Please, _please_ , turn around and walk away."

Realizing what she was saying, his brow furrowed and he shook his head.

"Do you know what he is?" he demanded incredulously. "Do you know what a demon like him is capable of? Don't ask me to walk away, Rin. I can't."

"Please!" she pleaded, wrapping her arms around him. "Kohaku, I am begging. Be that farmer for me today. Please go back to the village and wait for me."

"How can I when every bone in my body is telling me to stay and protect you?"

"He will not hurt me," she insisted, her tone becoming frantic.

Kohaku's body was tense, his muscles rigid and trembling with the overwhelming desire to fight and kill the demon standing before him. But she could see from the expression on his face that he was wavering in his conviction just a little.

"He is my _friend,_ " she urged one last time. "Please, trust me."

He inhaled sharply at her words but his hand eventually settled on the small of her back and he answered with a soft, "All right."

Looking thoroughly betrayed, he slowly sheathed his sword and retreated in the direction of the village. He stopped halfway to the trees and turned back to fix Sesshomaru with a long, hard look.

"If he steps a single foot closer to the village I'll cut off his head," he warned, and there was no doubt in her mind that he would try. At her nod of agreement he turned and retreated through the snow-laden trees. Rin watched him go until he was out of sight and then turned back to Sesshomaru. He had already sheathed his blade and now stood eyeing the spot where Kohaku had been.

“Such insolence…” he commented with a turn of his mouth.

“I’m not certain a liar is the best judge of character,” she snapped, already feeling emotionally exhausted by the entire ordeal.

Sesshomaru had the wherewithal to look abashed.

“Is this where you tell me that it was all a misunderstanding? That you had every intention of revealing the truth?”

He glanced away, his hand resting atop the woven handle of his sword.

“I had planned to tell you that morning in the tea room.”

“Why did you do it?” she demanded even though she wasn’t certain she wanted to know the truth.

“Curiosity, at first,” he replied evenly. “I wanted to meet the sort of human who would sacrifice her freedom for the sake of a village she’d never stepped foot into.”

His eyes settled on her, their golden depths warm with admiration, “You did not disappoint. You are an intriguing creature, Rin. In all my years I have never met another like you.”

He moved closer, so silently and quickly that she had scarcely blinked before he was in front of her. He caressed the side of her face with a light touch, the expression in his eyes gentler than she’d ever seen it.

“You could have told me,” she insisted with a frown.

“Perhaps, but there was a level of trust you placed in me as the Edo-garo. As him I could speak to you as a man, learn about you without the hindrance of ritual and decorum. I had hoped that in time you would acclimate to life in Edo, that you would perhaps even warm to me.”

“To be your friend?”

The pad of his thumb grazed suggestively across her bottom lip, “Or something more.”

She remembered with sharp clarity what his kiss had felt like and how it’d set her body alight from the inside out. She exhaled a shuddering breath as he pulled his hand away.

“It was wrong,” he conceded, “but I cannot honestly say that I regret it.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Return with me to Edo,” he answered as though it should have been obvious.

“Go back?”

 “Your place is there, not in some remote mountain village.”

“But my brothers-”

He dismissed her objection with a subtle wave of his hand. “They may come as well. I am not so heartless as your demon slayer would have you believe.”

 _Her demon slayer_.

“Kohaku...” She turned her head, her eyes going to the spot where she’d last seen him. “He asked me to be his wife,” she said softly.

Sesshomaru inhaled and then breathed an audible sigh, “The foolish notion of a foolish boy.”

His words stung like a sharp slap and her eyes snapped to his. “Is it so foolish that someone could want me, even as damaged and used as I am?”

Sesshomaru’s features flinched at the reminder of the unkind assessment he’d made of her during their first meeting in Edo.

“You misunderstand,” he explained, looking uncharacteristically weary. “It is not foolish to think that a man, any man, could resist you. What is foolish is that _boy_ thinking he could ever possibly make you happy.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Sesshomaru leaned in closer until his presence practically enveloped her. His hand lightly caressed the underside of her jaw, tipping her chin upwards so her eyes were forced to meet his.

“You are a true Oiran, Rin - intelligent, beautiful, and a gifted artist. If you return to where you belong, there is no limit to what you could achieve. The world will be your canvas. The city of Edo will bow before you.”

“That’s ridiculous,” she gasped, turning away.

“Is it?” he demanded with equal conviction. With a light touch he turned her head back to face him.

 “These hands,” he said, taking her small, newly calloused hands in his, “were designed to paint, not labour in the fields. And this skin should feel the touch of only the finest silks. You will have those things and more. You will want for nothing,” he vowed.

“You’re wrong,” she whispered softly, pulling her hands from his. “I will never have a husband, or a child to call my own.”

“In their place you will have the world. What can that boy offer you? A farm on a hillside? Years of backbreaking labour?" He scoffed at the thought of it. "That is not where you belong.”

“That life you describe with such a note of disdain was mine once and I was happy in it. I enjoyed being an inaka brat and feeling the dirt beneath my fingernails and hearing the sound of a house filled with laughter. I _want_ that life again.”

“You are not the type to lose yourself to empty wishes.”

“He _loves_ me,” she replied fiercely, certain now in that truth. She’d never felt confident enough in Kohaku’s affections to utter the words aloud before, but the evidence had been there for some time. He’d loved her long before she was an Oiran, before she’d been primped and polished into some false imitation of nobility. He’d never questioned her origins or made her feel less worthy because of her time spent in the brothel. She could be her true self around him, and there was a comfort in that that she would never have in Edo.

Had she dared to look carefully then, she might have noticed the way Sesshomaru’s jaw clenched tight, silencing the words he’d long wished to speak. His hand tightened around the handle of his sword, until the leather creaked in protest.

“You have accepted his proposal?” he asked, his voice sounding strained.

When she didn’t reply he exhaled a low sigh and gently called her name. The way his smooth baritone caressed the single syllable made her simple name sound refined and important. The sound of it shivered down her spine and when she lifted her eyes to his she was shocked by the rawness she found in them. Whatever lies he might have spoken, there was no denying the truth staring back at her from those golden depths. He loved her too, far more than she ever could have realized.  

The hand at her waist drew her close and she didn’t resist when his lips brushed over hers. His mouth was soft and warm, the feel of it reassuring in the face of her uncertain future. The pressure of his lips increased and her hands slid up the fine silk covering his chest. In her own way she loved him, too. Had Kohaku not returned for her, had the Shogun’s attacked not revealed his deceit, she could have been truly happy with him.

A soft gasp escaped her lips as his tongue explored her mouth and then his fingers were in her hair, gently cupping the back of her head. She held tight, her hands twisting the white silk of his kimono as the world spun around her. The taste of him was intoxicating and the way he gently nibbled at her lip sent fire rushing through her veins, hot and alive. For the first time she found herself wishing he was someone else, an ordinary man unfettered by the trappings of his rank and nobility. How different things might be if it were so…

She felt the solid earth beneath her feet once more and the world slowed to its normal rhythm. Sesshomaru released her and took a step back to give them both some space. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her chest heaved as she pulled in a much needed breath.

“Should you change your mind,” he offered with a coy turn of his mouth, “you know where to find me.”

He gave a formal bow, making her perhaps the first person the daimyo had ever bowed to, and turned to leave.

“Wait!” she called after him and for just a moment she saw a flicker of hope in his eyes. Stepping forward, she sheepishly pulled the comb he’d given her from inside her kimono. It was still wrapped in the original silk, well cared for despite the journey.

He looked pleased to see it and held out his hand to take it from her. She was sad to let it go, but it seemed only right. It was his mother’s heirloom, an irreplaceable treasure. It had no more business being in an inaka village than she did in a noble household in Edo.

Sesshomaru took the comb from its wrapping and studied it in the fading daylight. His thumb brushed over the carved sakura at its base as his eyes lingered on the relic. Then he stepped forward and slid it into her hair.

“Keep it,” he instructed without hesitation. “Consider it a wedding gift.”

Her hand lifted in astonishment to touch the delicate thing now sitting in her hair. She opened her mouth to object, to thank him, to say _something,_ but no words emerged. He hesitated only a moment, his gaze sweeping over her as if committing the sight to memory, and then he was gone.

oOo

She took her time walking back to the village. Her feet plodded slowly through the snow while her mind ruminated over what'd happened in the forest. With Sesshomaru's departure a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders – the weight of not knowing, the weight of guilt, the weight of her feelings for him. She felt lighter than she had in months.

Her path now was clear and at its end stood Kohaku and the life he'd promised her. It was the life she'd wished for a thousand times since the day it'd been stolen from her by a gang of bandits. She didn't dream of fame and grandeur. She dreamt of a simple home filled with love and laughter; an uncomplicated, happy life. She could have that life with him, all she had to do was say 'yes'. A smile lit her features and she quickened her pace, eager to find Kohaku.  

As she neared the village she found him seated atop a large tree stump. He looked up at the sound of her footfall crunching through the snow, but the troubled frown darkening his features remained.

"So, you're alive," he said matter-of-factly when she was near enough to hear him.

Her brows lifted and she tucked her hands into her sleeves to keep them warm.

"It's cold. Let's go inside," she offered, hoping to speak somewhere more private. Kohaku would have questions, and she wasn't altogether certain how a village of demon slayers would take to the news that one as powerful as Sesshomaru had been mere steps from their gate.

"I'm fine here," Kohaku insisted. She caught a fleeting glimpse of what looked to be tear marks on his cheeks, but he turned his face away before she could see them clearly.

"About before... I couldn't take the chance-"

"It's all right," he said, cutting her off. "I understand."

Her brows shot upwards in surprise. She'd expected a confrontation from him, not quiet resignation.

"I went back," he said slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on the snow at their feet. "I needed to know you were safe."

Her stomach dropped as she pictured the scene he'd walked in on – Sesshomaru's arms around her, his lips on hers…

Kohaku went very quiet and then shook his head. "Anyway… I guess I never considered that you might have developed feelings for him too."

"Kohaku, what you saw was-"

He braved a smile and got to his feet. "You don't need to explain," he said and pressed his lips together as though he was holding in words that were fighting to get out. He took her hands lightly in his and released a heavy sigh.

"I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy after everything you've been through. And if that means leaving with him-" He paused and softly cleared his throat. He forced another smile though his eyes were filled with pain

"If that means that you leave with him, well, that is something I will have to accept." His hands briefly tightened around hers and he added, "Maybe I can visit you when I'm in Edo next if he allows it."

The cheerful tone of his promise rang hollow. She looked down at where his thumb was brushing unconsciously over the back of her hand and wondered which of them he was trying to comfort. His mouth might be telling her to leave, but his eyes told a different story. The pain in them was tangible and it struck a chord somewhere deep inside of her.

She recognized that look and knew it all too well. He didn't want this. It was as clear as if he'd thrown himself down on the road and blocked her path. But he'd let her go if that's what she desired because he cared for her that much. Wasn't that the true definition of love? The moment you're willing to put another's happiness above your own?

The realization that both he and Sesshomaru loved her enough to give her up so she could find true happiness with another made her face crumple and hot tears spring to her eyes. She threw her arms around Kohaku and buried her face into his shoulder, finding she could do little more than cry as he held her.

It was all too much – saying goodbye to Sesshomaru and finally knowing without a shadow of a doubt the depth of Kohaku's feelings for her. Never in her life had she felt more loved or wanted than in this very moment.

When the tears had subsided and her throat no longer felt raw, she pulled away and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"That's a really beautiful comb," Kohaku remarked without a hint of bitterness. He reached out as if to touch it and then pulled back. "When will he return to take you back to Edo?"

"I am not going to Edo," she told him with a shake of her head and a light sniffle. "That life... It's not what I want for myself."

It took a long moment for her words to sink in, but when they did Kohaku's arms tightened around her. His cheek came to rest against her head and she felt him hesitate before asking, "Do you love him?"

From where her palms rested lightly against his chest she could feel the way his heart was racing. Her hand instinctively moved back and forth in a soothing caress.

"Maybe I could have at one time. Maybe if you hadn't come back for me..."

She felt him nod, but he didn't say a word.

"I know who I'm supposed to be with. I don't have any doubts."

He pulled back so he could see her face, his dark eyes anxiously searching hers.

"When I was in Edo, there wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think of you. Even when I was angry and hurt, even then, I couldn't bring myself to hate you. And when you did come back… When you came back for me, I didn't know what it meant. I didn't trust the feelings I had for you. I didn't understand what they were or what they meant. I understand them now. In my heart I've known it for a long time. You are my first and last love, Kohaku. It's only ever been you."

His expression rapidly morphed from guilt to disbelief to elation. Wearing an uncontrollable smile, he grabbed her up around the waist and laughed as he spun her around.

"You'll be the wife of a demon slayer?" he asked breathlessly as he set her feet back on the ground. "You're certain?"

"That part may take some getting used to," she admitted with a light laugh. "But I'm certain about wanting to be your wife."

His eyes went wide and he shook his head in disbelief. "I thought this was going to be a very different sort of conversation," he confessed and swiped a hand through his ebony hair. "My heart feels like it's going to burst."

His eyes drifted over her features, studying them adoringly in the fading daylight. He stepped in close enough to gently cup her face between his hands.

"My wife." He breathed the words softly, almost reverently, as his thumb traced the length of her cheekbone. "I suppose we should head back and tell the others?"

She shook her head and slid her arms around his neck, "Let's stay a little while longer."

His hands slid down her back to settle at her waist, holding her close.

"Is this a dream?" he asked as his head lowered and his lips traced the curve of her jaw.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head, uttering a soft gasp of delight as his mouth settled over a particularly sensitive spot.

"Yes," she replied as her fingers threaded through his hair. "But it's ours, and I have no desire to ever wake up."

He pulled back and smiled down at her in a way that made her cheeks flush hot despite the cold. Her _husband._ It'd been nearly two years since she'd allowed herself feel anything close to real happiness, but she felt it now. That foreign feeling bubbled up from the depths of her chest until it couldn't be contained any longer.

"I love you," she confessed, feeling giddy with joy and relief. "More than you could ever know."

Kohaku's eyes twinkled in amusement. She so loved the colour of those eyes. She loved every part of him.

"I think I may have some idea," he replied, and then lowered his mouth to hers for a tender kiss.

* * *

 

 

 _Author’s Note:_ Just a fun little fact, but the first half of this chapter was written in 2013 and has been sitting on my hard drive waiting for the rest of the story to catch up ever since. That’s a truly shameful delay on my part, but I’m so thankful for those of you who have joined me on this journey. We’re in the home stretch now. Happy reading :)


End file.
